Hilde stopped in her tracks. The Queen seemed to have noticed, but she didn"t pause or slow down. With absolute chilliness, Hilde forced herself to resume walking. In the privacy of her mind, she told her a.s.shole system: "Don"t you f*cking dare."p.r.i.c.k hissed as if he"d been burned. [Language, princess,] he said. [Even just a few hours ago, you were so polite to me that it was amusing, given how much you hate me. What got you so twisted so quickly?]
"You know very well what," Hilde answered, staring pointedly at the Queen"s back. "Do you have an acceptable reason for why you"re trying to interrupt me? If not, I"ll KINDLY ask you to scram."
[Sheesh, so touchy. I just have a necessary clarification to make. I didn"t tell you the full nature of your new objective because it was astonis.h.i.+ngly cheesy, but now it seems I have to.] p.r.i.c.k paused for effect but Hilde stayed stonily silent in her head. If they"d been face to face in the physical world, however, she"d have been sorely tempted to do him violence. Unfazed, he played up the drama in his tone. [I can"t believe you made me have to say this – are you ready? Okay: "Strong of Body, Steady of Spirit, Stout of Heart" – that"s the long version of "Endurance," and I swear to you, I"m not just making that up.]
Hilde had to count to three before she could form her thoughts into coherent words.
"You know what I can"t believe?" she asked rhetorically. "I can"t believe you think it"s okay to only be telling me this now. I know I"ll need your precious "clearance" to know about everything else, but why are you leaving out even the information I have a right to?"
While this hidden conversation was going on, Hilde and her sister had turned a second corner and were now in sight of the wing"s exit. Un.o.btrusively, two of the Queen"s Royal Guards rejoined her. They stationed themselves on her either sides, a step behind. Since Hilde was walking around three steps farther back, this meant the Guards were also in front of her.
Hilde must have missed the lesson about how Guards can freely disregard the safety of their liege"s underage dependents. As she scoffed at this, p.r.i.c.k answered, [Hey, I didn"t leave this information out, I just didn"t go into the specifics when one word would have covered it. Or "should" have, I should say.]
His listener didn"t care anymore. "Just get to your point."
[Certainly. The first two of that three-part objective aside, I"m pretty sure you won"t achieve the third if you try to villain your way through your problems.]
She and the others have reached the end of the corridor and were now on their way to the throne room. Its huge, heavy doors were wide open, and amplified buzzes and whispers were streaming out.
"Let me get this straight," she began, forcing herself to remain calm but failing to keep her nostrils from flaring. "I would need to be "stout of heart" to clear the objective." Before they could reach that hall"s entrance, the Queen"s Guards moved back behind Hilde and the Queen herself turned, telling her with a hard look to come to her side, but a step behind, as would be "proper."
"In this snake pit?" Hilde continued, coolly complying with the wordless order because she fully understood the value of keeping up appearances. This Princess" days of naïve straightforwardness were over. But the thought that she would also have to meekly "endure" being targeted by her own family – that was a bitter pill to swallow. "Why not just kill me now? I doubt I"d survive if I am not allowed to fight."
p.r.i.c.k sounded exasperated. [There you go again, misunderstanding poor me. You can and you ought to defend yourself. I"m only telling you that you can"t take the offensive – not if you don"t want to fail.]
"What would happen if I did?" she was quick to ask.
[Can"t tell you,] he was equally quick to answer. It was worth a try.
The royal pair and the soldiers reached the throne room. Framed by the doorway, they paused as stationed attendants announced their presence. The people within quieted down and composed themselves. After rising to their feet, they faced the Queen and the Princess. As soon as the two took one step forward, those gathered sank into bows or curtseys, straightening only after they"d been pa.s.sed by.
[That said,] p.r.i.c.k continued in an amused yet oddly soft tone, [never forget who you WERE, Hilde. You weren"t thrown into this "snake pit" completely helpless.]
A hint of amus.e.m.e.nt also bloomed in Hilde"s otherwise frosty countenance. She already knew that much to be true.
"Too bad her… our…" she drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Peace settled into her when she finished. "MY "s.a.d.i.s.tic tendencies" have been stripped."
[We can"t have you hurting others and enjoying it, now, can we? Not in this world.]
"But I can still be ruthless."
[Within reason.]
She narrowed her eyes. "That"ll do."
[And that"ll be all from me.] He paused again, still trying to be dramatic. [For now.]
Hilde shook her head at him inwardly, hardly able to believe that they started the exchange with her so mad – at him and at everything else – and ended it with her being grudgingly amused. For a non-human ent.i.ty, p.r.i.c.k was pretty good at emulating emotions.
And at regulating them in his host, as it turned out.
Her numbness had lifted. She could now feel the full force and effects of her sister"s hatred for her, which had been around for almost as long as Hilde had been alive. Examining her memories, she managed to trace back one of its root causes: the late King Dietrich"s uniform and unstinting affection for his younger daughter, born of his advanced age, when he had been at turns overly proud and overly critical of his elder daughter. According to the stories and gossips, Queen Heloise had been treated more like an adult when she was still a child and, at times, as an incompetent child when she was already well into adulthood.
From her past life, Hilde was familiar with people who didn"t take well to such an upbringing. She"d played a few characters based on them herself. And while the circ.u.mstances that had led them to become the way they were were undeniably tragic, it didn"t change the fact that the vast majority of them were lost causes. Their dysfunctions had become so deeply ingrained in their psyche that, instead of recognizing that something within them was in need of healing, they were subconsciously driven to reduce others into a similar state of brokenness.
While such characters had fascinated her, she always thought that most of the made-up ones in the stories were too unrealistic, at least in how they were often portrayed as capable of changing for the better.
The real people who were that way, the ones she as Yong Fan Shu had known, nothing short of a personality implant could fix the lot of them. The sheer volume of drama she had had to contend with! Most of them took place behind the scenes while some took place behind closed boardroom doors. She went through a lot in her climb to the top.
And even at the last, when she reached what felt to be the very pinnacle of her success, one of these individuals – a monster wearing the face of an ordinary human – had sought to end her life. Cool as can be, he got what he wanted.
That was one more lesson to learn from her past life. Hilde would not be so careless as to get herself murdered again. She also might as well look at the entirety of it as practice for what she had to deal with in this life.
What a challenge it will be. She may defend herself but she may not attack unprovoked. More importantly, she"ll somehow have to tailor her actions and reactions to fit the three-part objective p.r.i.c.k had just revealed: Strong of Body, Steady of Spirit, and Stout of Heart. He was right – the names were d.a.m.ned cheesy – but there was no ambiguity in them, at least not any that she could see. They COULD be summed up in one word, after all. p.r.i.c.k was right about that too.
Whatever hards.h.i.+ps may come her way – whether physical, psychological, emotional, or all three at once – she must somehow face them head-on and come out on the other side better and stronger for the experience, in all three respects.
Now… what did all that mean relative to Hilde"s current situation?
As she neared the dais on the far end of the hall, where the ancient-looking throne of black stone stood, Hilde took advantage of the people"s preoccupation with protocol to note who was standing where.
Lady Ilse and Gisela were to the left of the throne while the Queen"s son, Prince Luca, stood to the right, accompanied by a senior attendant and by the Royal Physician, who was his G.o.dmother.
Further to the right of the throne were the Lord General and his family, along with the family of one the other slain soldiers, who was also of n.o.ble birth. Further to the left were the families of the remaining two.
Not on the dais but still in front and to the extreme right stood an eclectic handful of representatives from other countries, who were already in Arnica before the Prince"s death. The newly-arrived Lyseans" place was on the extreme left. Her split-second glance told her that Leal had already rejoined his countrymen.
Arranged in a neat and stoic line behind those that stood at the front were the Prince"s Royal Guards. Gislin, son of the ruling Lady Clotilde, was of course no longer among them. Neither was Inge.
Hilde and Queen Heloise reached the dais and took their respective places – Hilde with her nephew, the Queen before the throne. As she faced the ruling Lords and Ladies who made up the a.s.sembly, as well as the minor ones farther at the back who, while not holders of great power, wielded a closer influence over the common populace, she thought: barring the missing few, these were the pieces she had on her life"s game board.
Which ones would take on her colors, which ones would not? To achieve her true objective, which ones will she need to move?
Using all of who she was... how?