"It pains me to ask this of you -- I will need your help." Hilde blinked while Leal pressed his lips in a smile of reluctance. He continued, "Earlier, we had split into five groups: mine, my three lords", and a decoy."He slowed his pace as he finished, and the others matched his speed. They were now in view of the turn leading to Tailors" Street. The bright light of numerous torches was spilling from it, but in the narrow alley where the group eventually paused, it was dim except for the two torches they had with them.
Captain Judda ordered these to be put out before stating in a lowered voice, "You are banking on the hope that it is the decoy group trapped in there now."
Looking in the direction of the sounds bombarding their eardrums, Leal nodded. "Yes."
"If it isn"t?" the Captain asked.
The Prince"s jaw visibly clenched before he gave a difficult answer. "We"ll still wait for confirmation that the others have reached safety. May I ask you to alert the sentries on every castle gate to watch for their approach?"
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Hilde s.h.i.+fted her gaze to Captain Judda, hoping to convey a silent command. The older man met her eyes steadily for a moment before looking back to Leal.
"Done," he said with a single nod. He gave the order to the palace soldier who came with them and added, "Have swift runners send word back here for any changes."
The soldier soon disappeared down the dark lane.
"And, Prince?" Hilde inquired after a while. "What else do you need?"
"I don"t think it"s advisable for US to check which group is being mobbed."
He looked around at his female escorts as he spoke. To a woman, they appeared ready to go brave the danger anyway.
Having thought of something, Hilde said, "They"ll have a better chance of identifying who"s who, though. What if one of you take off your armor and pretend to be a civilian to get closer?"
After lighting up at this, Leal"s escorts talked amongst themselves to decide on who was to go.
"More deception, I see," she heard a familiar voice mutter from the very back of the Prince"s Guards" loose formation. It seemed a certain injured soldier, who was surely just about dead on his feet by now, had also insisted on tagging along. "Of course," he added, by chance saying the exact same words Hilde was thinking in connection to his stubbornness.
She huffed, wis.h.i.+ng she could make Inge understand -- choosing to stick to rigid values and "be the bigger person" doesn"t always work in the wider world, simply because not everyone operated that way or respected those who did.
It wasn"t that she had an aversion to honesty. Far from it. But from extensive past experience, she knew very well that excessive amounts of it, especially when stemming from kindness, can get a person taken advantage of, used up, and -- if they can"t or won"t wisen up to what"s being done to them -- worn down to nothing, sometimes even killed, either psychically or physically.
The problem might be that honesty can often be easily confused with authenticity, like "goodness" was often interchanged with kindness, when they were not the same thing at all. Similar, yes, but not the same.
Someone else had told her this, in another life. She didn"t understand it then; now, in her new sh.e.l.l, she"d begun to.
Hilde frowned. She"d met so many people in the past. She"d BEEN so many people, in a certain sense. Who was it that told her this again...?
Drawn back from her reverie by the clicking sounds of armor being removed, she looked up to find Leal observing her -- not staring intensely enough to burn a hole, as was his wont, but in quiet a.s.sessment of her state.
She could tell because there was that slight frown of worry between his brows again, as if he was trying to decide between taking her at her word that she was alright and telling her enough was enough, lie down somewhere and just rest.
Perhaps because she"d just been trying to recall something else, when the feeling of familiarity that that look gave off rose in her mind, the answer to both puzzles suddenly came to her.
She clucked her tongue inwardly.
"Jiang Heng," she thought. "Aiii, that b.a.s.t.a.r.d -- he made my head spin all the time, what with his countless talks about human nature, about what drives characters and their actions..."
Despite the words used, the feeling behind them was one of fondness and -- something that bloomed just now -- a deep appreciation. She had listened with only half an ear to the ramblings of her superstar colleague, who had formed early in their acquaintances.h.i.+p an odd, almost m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tic attachment to her bad-tempered and oftentimes hurtful former self. Still, it was evident she had managed to internalize his words and the complex way his mind worked, marrying them to two lives" worth of past experiences to create a weapon she very much needed in this new world.
Remembering something that all at once made her feel happy and mournful, her expression softened in sorrow even as she smiled in rea.s.surance at the man she was facing in the present.
"Was there anything else, Prince?" she asked after one female soldier, clothed in just a gray s.h.i.+rt and trousers, departed.
Several moments of hesitant silence pa.s.sed before Leal answered, "Yes." He looked at the armor another female soldier held in safekeeping for her comrade. "As I"m sure you also understand, if the mob ever needs calming, it would fall on you to do it." He paused, his struggle once again evident. "I wish you didn"t have to be put in harm"s way, Princess, when your reputation is already going to take another hit for this. But you were right, there was no point in me coming -- there"s nothing else I could do here that wouldn"t render past efforts useless." Leal took the armor from the soldier"s hands and held it out to Hilde. "Before you have to go out there, won"t you consider borrowing this armor?"
Stunned, she very nearly let her jaw drop again but just managed to keep her cool. Was this a "prince" thing he was doing? She had no frame of reference, having never actually met one outside of family before.
Way to make her feel like a "princess" in a novel manner, though. Even Lothar wouldn"t have thought to do that in a situation like this. "Take the pain, it"ll make you tougher," he"d have urged, in att.i.tude and in deed, if not in words.
"And where is he now?" her own words before flashed in her mind, like a curse.
Then she recalled that Gisela had implored her earlier, "Keep yourself safe, no matter what." She already broke that word by coming down here, and for that, she"d never hear the end of it from her cousin.
Since Gisela was the one who was still around whom Hilde would have to give answer to afterwards, she leaned towards the softer direction.
"Probably for the best, Prince," she replied. "Thank you."
With absolutely no shame, she then let him continue holding the other pieces of armor as she slowly donned and adjusted the straps of each part, one by one. She"d glimpsed the wry look of amus.e.m.e.nt he was throwing her, but unknown to him and the others, she was savoring the experience. Her armor might be borrowed now, but one day soon, she"ll definitely have her own.