The ability of a natural gossip to gather and transmit information was truly impressive to behold, when one had need for it. This was the one area where Nadia showcased most of her value as an attendant. Though Hilde had mostly been isolated socially as she was growing up, she"d not been completely cut off from many of the Queendom"s goings-on because of her chronically chatty maid.This time too, in just a few minutes, Hilde gathered the gist of what"s been happening outside while she was absent. If Inge didn"t happen to be waiting for her by the exit, it would have gone on longer – the man had been drawn into the conversation against his will, cutting in to steer the retelling whenever Nadia would go off on a tangent.
Because it took all her concentration to sift through the long strings of words for the nuggets of relevant information embedded here and there – not to mention having to tamp down on the alarm, anger, shame, disgust, and other emotions that arose as she listened – the two men standing expectantly just some yards away didn"t draw her notice until a gaze that was so powerful and overflowing with intent slammed into her primal senses.
She couldn"t help but whip around to see where it was coming from, and somehow, she was not surprised when she got her answer.
Why was it that, nearly every time their eyes met, Hilde would get the sense Leal of Lys was challenging her in some way?
Even as she was wondering this, she was unable to stop herself from acknowledging the accompanying sense that she was being pulled into the cool, blue depths of those dark-lashed pair of eyes.
The illusion of fathomlessness had probably always belonged there, and she was merely one among countless others who"d gotten the feeling she was deliberately being drawn in when looking into those pools. Even though she understood this, it didn"t make her feel any better about the subtle sense of powerlessness it caused – the hateful weakness, the embarra.s.sing unwillingness to look away.
At the back of her clouded mind, she knew that her face had once again become rigid, drained of all color. At the sight, she saw Leal"s eyelids flicker. Then the intensity of his gaze dropped below zero, until finally, he looked away.
Finding herself freed just as abruptly as she"d been ensnared by that ridiculously hypnotic stare, Hilde found that she"d been holding her breath, which added insult to injury. Doubly embarra.s.sed now, she slowly released the pent-up air along with the electric tension in her veins, hoping that none of her present companions had noticed what just happened, which had lasted for perhaps a handful of seconds.
Inge was busy irritably correcting something Nadia had said, and the attendant appeared to be insisting on her version just to toy with him. As soon as Hilde began to relax, she felt an arm drape lightly over her shoulders. Sieglind said by her ear, "I think my father is waiting for you, Princess."
Hilde swallowed. Of course, she"d noticed the Lord General too, but seeing who he was standing with, she was hoping to delay the inevitable. To be completely fair, she did want to kick herself in self-disgust for her hesitation. This was no time to be such a maiden.
"It"s alright," she heard Sieglind say next. The woman still had her arm across Hilde"s shoulders, and the overfamiliarity of the gesture unsettled her a little. They might have formed an understanding, but they"d not formed a personal relations.h.i.+p that would warrant such closeness.
Was Sieglind comforting her? She"d been behind Hilde, but could she have sensed what had happened with Leal – did she perhaps read Hilde"s mind?
In the end, it turned out that it wasn"t her the older woman was addressing this time.
"You two may settle down, we"ll find out the rest from the Lord General. Shall we go, Princess?"
From their connection, Hilde felt Sieglind exert the slightest pressure on her to go forward. Perhaps it was unconsciously done, but nonetheless, it was grating.
"Best nip that in the bud."
"We may, but your a.s.sistance won"t be necessary, thanks." Saying so, she politely but emphatically removed Sieglind"s hand from her left shoulder.
The woman didn"t need to be told twice.
"Understood, but I thought you were still feeling weak from your fall?"
"I just grow dizzy at random times," Hilde answered. "It"s advisable to walk hanging on to someone in case I suddenly need support. But it"s fine now." Hoping against hope that a certain injured man wouldn"t give her away, she lied, "I"ve recently taken a fresh dose of medicine."
She didn"t dare look Inge"s way, but she managed to make out from her peripheral that the soldier didn"t even bat an eyelash. Bless him.
Alas, there was still Nadia. "I thought you said you might still die, Princess Hilde?"
She smiled thinly at her attendant. "Yes," she said. "And that"s true for you too. Or anyone else, for that matter."
Always mindful of what event had just ended, of where they were and of the wild, beautiful patch of heaven before her, now bathed in the golden glow that came before twilight, Hilde had not said those words just for effect. They were all headed for death – she might be headed for another afterlife altogether, but that didn"t mean that this one could be thrown away easily or wasted in gloom and suffering.
Who decided that the path of dreams HAD to be cluttered with only hards.h.i.+ps and unhappiness? As she took the first step away from the royal tombs, Hilde decided that wherever and whenever she could, she"d make the best of this journey and have FUN, d.a.m.n it.
Staring at nothing, she kept her eyes forward and thought, "p.r.i.c.k, give me strength."
Almost as if he"d just been waiting to be addressed, that perpetually smirking voice sounded familiarly in the hidden recesses of her consciousness.
[Are you praying to me? Again?]
"Don"t mess with me right now."
[Okay. But you know there"s a price for what you ask, right?]
"Yes, yes," she answered with some impatience. "It"s fine."
[You say that now…] he said drily. [Here you go – and don"t blame me later.]
From one step to the next, Hilde felt her body knit itself into wholeness, healing all physical hurt. She stopped in her tracks and barely resisted the urge to bend over double. She settled for pressing her palms against her stomach.
"What happened?" asked Sieglind, who"d immediately laid one hand on the small of Hilde"s back while the other wrapped on the arm nearest to her.
Hilde began to suspect that the older woman was the "touchy-feely" type, one who had no notion of physical boundaries. Not wanting to snub her a second time, she merely smiled and answered, "My insides suddenly felt all hollow."
For some G.o.dforsaken reason, Sieglind interpreted that statement in the most offbeat way possible.
"It"s alright," she repeated, this time right by Hilde"s ear. Again. "Some men just have that effect – it simply means you"re an ordinary woman if you"re affected."
Even though she couldn"t deny she was indeed an "ordinary woman," Hilde was miffed at not only being misunderstood but also for being talked down to. Add to that, Sieglind whispered a lot more closely by her ear than before, eliciting a ticklish sensation that brought to her cheeks a rare flush.
She replied, "I only meant that I am hungry – more hungry than any ordinary woman had ever been, I wager."
It also did not escape her that the meat in her bones had significantly decreased, and while she HAD been given her strength back, it was not "in full" as she had antic.i.p.ated. The payment and the item purchased turned out to be the same, but at the moment, she still couldn"t measure how much of her original strength she had unwittingly sacrificed to restore her health.
"Next time, I"ll read between the fine print."
She turned to her attendant. "Please bring me food, Nadia. As much as you can wrestle from what"s still available."
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After nodding at Sieglind, who got the message and let her go, Hilde finally made her way to the company of two waiting men. Silently, she prayed that Nadia would return before her stomach rumbles again.