"Decidedly," said Raoul to himself while the merry thunder of Porthos"s laughter was resounding in his ears, "I am very unfortunate. De Guiche treats me with coolness, D"Artagnan with ridicule, Porthos is too tame; no one will settle this affair in the only way I wish it to be settled.
And I came to Porthos because I wanted to find a sword instead of cold reasoning at my service. My ill-luck dogs me."
Porthos, who had recovered himself, continued: "By one simple expression, I leave my adversary without an excuse."
"That is as it may happen," said Raoul, absently.
"Not at all, it is quite certain. I have not left him an excuse; and then it is that I display all my courtesy, in order to attain the happy issue of my project. I advance, therefore, with an air of great politeness, and taking my adversary by the hand, I say to him: "Now that you are convinced of having given the offense, we are sure of reparation; between my friend and yourself, the future can only offer an exchange of mutual courtesies of conduct, and consequently, my mission now is to acquaint you with the length of my friend"s sword.""
"What!" said Raoul.
"Wait a minute. "The length of my friend"s sword. My horse is waiting below; my friend is in such and such a spot and is impatiently awaiting your agreeable society; I will take you with me; we can call upon your second as we go along:" and the affair is arranged."
"And so," said Raoul, pale with vexation, "you reconcile the two adversaries on the ground."
"I beg your pardon," interrupted Porthos. "Reconcile! What for?"
"You said that the affair was arranged."
"Of course! since my friend is waiting for him."
"Well! what then? If he is waiting--"
"Well! if he is waiting, it is merely to stretch his legs a little. The adversary, on the contrary, is stiff from riding; they place themselves in proper order, and my friend kills the opponent, and the affair is ended."
"Ah! he kills him, then?" cried Raoul.
"I should think so," said Porthos. "Is it likely I should ever have as a friend a man who allows himself to get killed? I have a hundred and one friends; at the head of the list stand your father, Aramis, and D"Artagnan, all of whom are living and well, I believe?"
"Oh, my dear baron," exclaimed Raoul, as he embraced Porthos.
"You approve of my method, then?" said the giant.
"I approve of it so thoroughly, that I shall have recourse to it this very day, without a moment"s delay,--at once, in fact. You are the very man I have been looking for."
"Good; here I am, then; you want to fight, I suppose?"
"Absolutely."
"It is very natural. With whom?"
"With M. de Saint-Aignan."
"I know him--a most agreeable man, who was exceedingly polite to me the day I had the honor of dining with the king. I shall certainly acknowledge his politeness in return, even if it had not happened to be my usual custom. So, he has given you an offense?"
"A mortal offense."
"The deuce! I can say so, I suppose?"
"More than that, even, if you like."
"That is a very great convenience."
"I may look upon it as one of your arranged affairs, may I not?" said Raoul, smiling.
"As a matter of course. Where will you be waiting for him?"
"Ah! I forgot; it is a very delicate matter. M. de Saint-Aignan is a very great friend of the king"s."
"So I have heard it said."
"So that if I kill him--"
"Oh! you will kill him, certainly; you must take every precaution to do so. But there is no difficulty in these matters now; if you had lived in our early days,--ah, those were days worth living for!"
"My dear friend, you do not quite understand me. I mean, that M.
de Saint-Aignan being a friend of the king, the affair will be more difficult to manage, since the king might learn beforehand--"
"Oh! no; that is not likely. You know my method: "Monsieur, you have just injured my friend, and--""
"Yes, I know it."
"And then: "Monsieur, I have horses below." I carry him off before he can have spoken to any one."
"Will he allow himself to be carried off like that?"
"I should think so! I should like to see it fail. It would be the first time, if it did. It is true, though, that the young men of the present day--Bah! I would carry him off bodily, if that were all," and Porthos, adding gesture to speech, lifted Raoul and the chair he was sitting on off the ground, and carried them round the room.
"Very good," said Raoul, laughing. "All we have to do is to state the grounds of the quarrel with M. de Saint-Aignan."
"Well, but that is done, it seems."
"No, my dear M. du Vallon, the usage of the present day requires that the cause of the quarrel should be explained."
"Very good. Tell me what it is, then."
"The fact is--"
"Deuce take it! how troublesome all this is! In former days we had no occasion to say anything about the matter. People fought for the sake of fighting; and I, for one, know no better reason than that."
"You are quite right, M. du Vallon."
"However, tell me what the cause is."
"It is too long a story to tell; only, as one must particularize to a certain extent, and as, on the other hand, the affair is full of difficulties, and requires the most absolute secrecy, you will have the kindness merely to tell M. de Saint-Aignan that he has, in the first place, insulted me by changing his lodgings."
"By changing his lodgings? Good," said Porthos, who began to count on his fingers; "next?"
"Then in getting a trap-door made in his new apartments."