"Oh, no," she said warmly, "there"s nothing finicky about your garden--any more than there is about you. There was never such a man of direction--at least I never met one." The moment she had said it she became embarra.s.sed; but he took no notice. His manner was perfect.
They returned by the lake, and stayed there a while to watch Nugent trying to catch trout. The rest of the day she spent in Urquhart"s company, who contrived with a good deal of ingenuity to have her to himself while appearing to be generally available. After dinner, feeling sure of him, she braved the tale-bearing woods and nightingales vocal of her sweet unease. There was company on this occasion, but she felt certain it would not have been otherwise had they been retired with the night. She was thoughtful and quiet, and really her heart was full of complaining. He was steadily cheerful, and affected a blunt view of life at large.
She did not look forward to leaving him on the morrow, and as good as said so. "I have been enchanted here," she said, "and hate the thought of London. But James won"t hear of Wycross in June. He loves the world."
Urquhart said, "What are you going to do in August? Wycross?"
"No, we never go there in August. It"s too hot-- And there"s Lancelot. A boy must have excitement. I expect it will come to my taking him to the sea, unless James consents to Scotland. We used to do that, but now--well, he"s bored there."
He was looking at her, she felt, though she couldn"t see him. "Did you ever go to Norway?" She shook her head. He said no more on that head just then.
"I shall see you in London," he told her. "I am going to take my Certificate at Brooklands. Next week I hope. You might come and applaud."
"No, indeed," said she. "I couldn"t bear to see you in those conditions. I have nerves, if you have none."
"I have plenty," he said, "but you ought to do it. Some day you will have to face it."
"Why shall I?" He wouldn"t tell her.
That made her daring. "Why shall I?"
His first answer was a steady look; his second, "Nothing stops, you know. Things all swim to a point. Ebb and flow. They don"t go back until they reach it."
"And then?"
"And then they may--or they may not blot it out and swim on."
CHAPTER XIV
THE GREAT SCHEME
The height of her esteem for Urquhart was the measure of her growing disrelish for James. It was hard to visit upon a man the sense that he was not what he had never dreamed of being; but that is what happened to him. By how much he had risen in her eyes when she made an Eros of him, by so much did he fall when she found out her mistake. Because he was obviously no Eros, was he so obviously but part of a man? It seemed so indeed. If he discerned it there"s no wonder. He irritated her; she found herself instinctively combating his little preparations for completeness of effect--she was herself all for simplicity in these days. She could not conceal her scorn, for instance, when he refused to go with her to dine in a distant suburb because he would not have time to dress. "As if," she said, "you eat your shirt-front!"
Trenchancy from James produced a silent disapproval. As he said, if she didn"t sniff, she looked as if she felt a cold coming on. She knew it herself and took great pains; but it coloured her tone, if not her words. Too often she was merely silent when he was very much himself. Silence is contagious: they pa.s.sed a whole dinner through without a word, sometimes.
Now James had his feelings, and was rather unhappy over what he called her moods. He thought she did not go out enough. She ought to see more people: a woman liked to be admired. It did not occur to him that she might have been very glad of it from him; but then he didn"t know how highly she had been elated with what she called, thinking it really so, his love-in-the-darkness. No, Macartney, if ever he looked into himself, found nothing wrong there. He kept a wary eye through his masking-gla.s.s upon Urquhart"s comings and goings. As far as he could ascertain he was rarely in London during June and early July. No doubt he wrote to Lucy; James was pretty sure of it; yet he could not stoop to examining envelopes, and had to leave that to Providence and herself. He mingled with his uneasiness a high sense of her integrity, which he could not imagine ever losing. It was, or might have been, curious to observe the difference he made between his two jealousies.
He had been insolent to Francis Lingen, with his "Ha, Lingen, you here?" He was markedly polite to Jimmy Urquhart, much more so than his habit was. He used to accompany him to the door when he left, an unheard-of attention. But that may have been because Lucy went thither also.
As a matter of fact Urquhart saw very little of her. He was very much away, on his aerial and other affairs, and did not care to come to the house unless James was there, nor, naturally, very much when he was.
They mostly met in the Park, rarely at other people"s houses. Once she lunched at the Nugents" and had the afternoon alone with him; twice he drove her to Kew Gardens; once she asked him for a week-end to Wycross, and they had some talks and a walk. He wrote perhaps once a week, and she answered him perhaps once a fortnight. Not more. She had to put the screw on herself to outdo him in frugality. She respected him enormously for his mastery of himself, and could not have told how much it enhanced her love. It was really comical that precisely what she had condemned James for she found admirable in Jimmy. James had neglected her for his occupations, and Jimmy was much away about his.
In the first case she resented, in the second she was not far from adoration of such a sign of serious strength.
They never alluded directly to what had happened, but sometimes hinted at it. These hints were always hers, for Urquhart was a random talker, said what came into his head and had no eye for implications. He made one odd remark, and made it abruptly, as if it did not affect anybody present. "It"s a very funny thing," he said, "that last year I didn"t know Macartney had a wife, and now, six months later, I don"t realise that you have got a husband." It made her laugh inwardly, but she said gently, "Try to realise it. It"s true."
"You wish me to make a point of it?" he asked her that with a shrewd look.
"I wish you, naturally, to realise me as I am."
"There doesn"t seem much of you involved in it," he said; but she raised her eyebrows patiently.
"It is a fact, and the fact is a part of me. Besides, there"s Lancelot."
"Oh," he said, "I don"t forget him. You needn"t think it. He is a symbol of you--and almost an emanation. Put it like this, that what you might have been, he is."
"Oh," said she, "do you want me to be different?"
He laughed. "Bless you, no. But I like to see what you gave up to be made woman. And I see it in your boy."
She was impelled to say what she said next by his words, which excited her. "I can"t tell you--and perhaps I ought not--how happy you make me by loving Lancelot. I love him so very much--and James never has. I can"t make out why; but it was so from the beginning. That was the first thing which made me unhappy in my life at home. It was the beginning of everything. He seemed to lose interest in me when he found me so devoted."
Urquhart said nothing immediately. Then he spoke slowly. "Macartney is uneasy with boys because he"s uneasy with himself. He is only really interested in one thing, and he can see that they are obviously uninterested in it."
"You mean--?" she began, and did not finish.
"I do," said Urquhart. "Most men are like that at bottom--only some of us can impose ourselves upon our neighbours more easily than he can.
Half the marriages of the world break on that rock, and the other half on idleness."
She then confessed. "Do you know what I believe in my heart? I believe that James"s eyegla.s.s stands in his way with Lancelot--as it certainly did with me."
"I think you are right there," he agreed. "But you must allow for it.
He"s very uncertain of his foothold, and that"s his war armour."
She was more tolerant of James after that conversation, and less mutinous against her lot. She wondered, of course, what was to become of them, how long she could hold him at arms" length, how she could bring herself to unsay what had been said in the dark of Martley Thicket. But she had boundless faith in Urquhart, and knew, among other things, that any request she made him would be made easy for her.
But when, at the end of June, he broached to her his great scheme, she was brought face to face with the situation, and had to ask herself, could she be trusted? That he could she knew very well.
He had a project for a month or six weeks in Norway. He had hinted at it when she was at Martley, but now it was broached. He didn"t disguise it that his interest lay wholly in her coming. He laid it before her: she, Lancelot and James were to be the nucleus. He should ask the Corbets and their boys, Vera and hers. Nugent would refuse, he knew. Meantime, what did she say? He watched her shining eyes perpending, saw the gleam of antic.i.p.ated delight. What a plan! But then she looked down, hesitating. Something must now be said.
"Oh, of course Lancelot would go mad with joy, and I dare say I could persuade James--"
"Well? But you?"
"I should live every moment of the time, but--sometimes life seems to cost too much."
He held out his hand to her, and she took it very simply. "Promise to come, and you shan"t repent it. Mind, you have my word on that." Then he let her go, and they discussed ways and means. She would speak to James; then he should come and dine, and talk it out. Meantime, let him make sure of Vera, and do his best with the Corbets. If they were fixed up, as she thought probable, he might get some other people.
Considine might like it. "He"s very much at your disposal, let me tell you. You have him at your feet."
So it was settled, and James was attacked in front. She told him as they were driving out to dinner that she had met Mr. Urquhart that afternoon. "I dare say you might," said James. But he had stiffened to attention.
"He blazed upon me a plan for August. I said I would ask you about it."
James said, "H"m. Does it rest with me?"
"Naturally it does. I should not think of any plans without talking to you."
"No, I suppose you wouldn"t," said he. Then he asked, "And what does Urquhart want you to do?"