After her birth, between running Nick to school, taking care of the house, and a newborn, Allie shed the weight quickly. Bounding up and down the stairs ten times a day helped.
She piled the sheets into the washing machine and flipped it on. Leaning against it, she wondered where Paul was all that time. Work, she thought, thatas where.
Once the children were born, she supposed Paul figured his duty was his job. He fathered children, Allie took care of them. But she never had to insist or pester Paul when it came to family vacations. Paul might have been a workaholic, but he did find time for the kids.
Paul wasnat always into his job. In the beginning, before the children, he laughed and enjoyed life. Their s.e.x life wasashe stopped and thought about it. She tried to remember what their s.e.x life was like. Certainly, they did it often. From the bedroom, to the shower, even in the kitchen. Paul was patient with her, as she never had been with anyone else. Once again, the memory of Sueas lips on her flashed through her mind. G.o.d, itad been thirty years, and she and Paul certainly had shared more than the brief interlude of kisses she shared with another woman. Why then was it this memory that surfaced now?
Allie shook her head as she took the clothes out of the dryer and sorted them. Why did Paul marry me? she wondered as she folded the towels and stacked them in the basket. He took control, strategically organizing their dating, engagement, and finally their marriage. Allie was somewhat overwhelmed. She remembered talking to her father, who offered the typical advice: Heas your man. Feed him, look nice for him, and keep the house and the kids. Youare lucky to be married and not alone like your sister.
Her mother, on the other hand, told her: Donat lose yourself in anyone. Have babies, love them, and teach them to be self-reliant, kind, and compa.s.sionate. Her mother was a pa.s.sionate Frenchwoman.
Allie was confused and allowed Paul to control everything. It wasnat until recently, maybe five years or so, that Allie took charge of the checkbook and the household finances. Paul had commandeered that, and it was Jocelyn, at the age of sixteen, who looked at Allie and said, aMom, youare Dadas partner. What will you do if, G.o.d forbid, something happens to him? How will you take care of everything?a Allie was ashamed of herself that Jocelyn had to tell her this. However, her shame quickly gave way to self-respect and taking care of the household account, which she wanted to know. Paul was surprised but gladly sat down one Sat.u.r.day morning, and by late afternoon, Allie knew how to keep the household finances as well as Paul. For the first time in their marriage, Allie felt like a partner, not just a mother or housekeeper.
Speaking of housekeeping, she thought with a smilea She finished the laundry and hauled it upstairs. There were too many questions about their relationship lately. Too many questions Paul needed to answera"that they both needed to answer.
As she prepared dinner, she heard the back door open.
aPaul? In here, honey,a she called out as she chopped the tomatoes. She looked up to see Paul walking into the kitchen, pulling at his tie.
aHey, Al,a he said as he looked at the mail.
aHow was your day?a Allie opened the refrigerator.
aFine, grab me a beer, will you? I need a shower.a He tossed the mail on the table.
Allie handed him the icy bottle. aHow about a nice warm bath?a aNah, a quick shower is all I need.a He kissed her head. aSmells good, whatas cookina?a aPork roast,a she said and walked back to the sink.
Over dinner, Allie looked down at Paul, who ate heartily and just about finished. aCan we talk about last night?a Paul had his fork in his mouth; he raised an eyebrow and Allie had to laugh. He looked like Nick. After swallowing, Paul took a drink of wine. aOkay.a Allie heard the resigned tone and shook her head. aItas not an execution, Paul.a Paul chuckled grudgingly but said nothing, so Allie continued, aIave been thinking all daya"a aSo unlike you,a he mumbled into his gla.s.s.
Allie chose to ignore the sarcasm. aDid you mean it?a Paul toyed with his winegla.s.s and nodded. Allie waited and raised an eyebrow. aCare to elaborate?a With that, the phone rang. Paul grinned and jumped up. Allie glared and drank her wine. In a minute, Paul came back and sat. aI have to call John at home in a few minutes. Itas about the merger.a aWhat merger?a Allie asked.
Paul gave her an impatient look. aDoes it matter?a aShouldnat it?a Allie retorted.
He tossed down his napkin, drained his winegla.s.s, refilled it, and set the bottle down.
aYes, sweetheart, Iad love another gla.s.s of wine,a she said evenly. She reached over and picked up the bottle and poured herself another gla.s.s.
aAllie, youave never cared about my work. Why are you asking me now?a aI always ask how your day is.a aThatas just the obligatory question. You know what I mean. You know how much I love my company, but you never take an interest in it.a Allie felt her anger rising. aAnd youave cared greatly about my pa.s.sion for my painting.a Paul started to argue and stopped. This was one thing about Paula"he admitted when he was wrong. He was not like other men, or women for that matter, who stubbornly and arrogantly kept up the argument, even though they were wrong. He took a long breath. aIt seems perhaps weare both at fault,a he said in a quiet voice.
Now it was Allieas turn. She had to agree. It was both of them. At that moment, she and Paul seemed so far apart.
aYou know. The children are gone. Itas just you and me now, sweetie. We need to find out what we want out of life.a As Paul opened his mouth, his cell phone went off. aI gotta take this.a He quickly stood and walked out as he answered the call and Allieas question, as well.
Allie took a deep, resigned breath and looked around the dining room. aWell, that went well. Dinner was excellent, Allie. Thank you, Paul, I love to cook, you know, and I know a pork roast is one of your favorite meals.a She raised her gla.s.s to the vacated seat. aI aim to please!a *******
Later that night, Allie was already in bed when she heard Paul come up from the office. She heard the familiar sounds of him getting ready for bed. First, his wrist.w.a.tch made a noisy clang on the dresser. Then his shoes made a thud as they hit the floor. His slacks and shirt were next. She heard the m.u.f.fled noise of them hitting the chair next to the bed as he made his way to the bathroom. Upon return, he sat on the edge of the bed and Allie shook her head. Okay, now the alarm clock.
He set the clock with its little beeps and clicks. Setting it precisely for six thirty-five, not six thirty, but six thirty-five on the dot. And does he wake up at precisely six thirty-five? No, heas up at six twenty and goes into the shower. The d.a.m.ned thing goes off, and I have to jump and turn it off, she thought.
Paul slid into bed and Allie felt him get settled and heard the sigh. In a matter of minutes, she heard the snoring.
After an hour of staring at the ceiling, she got out of bed and slipped into her robe. She walked downstairs and put the kettle on for tea. As it started whistling, she made a cup of strong tea and grabbed her sketchpad and pencil.
She sat at the kitchen table and stared absently drawing, something shead always done that relaxed her. She smiled as she drew Nickas face and Jocelynas. She didnat even realize what she had done until she was finished. She blinked and looked at the pad. She had drawn Toni OaHaraas smiling face, as well. She smiled and drank her tea as she looked at the drawing. After a few minutes of sketching, she held the drawing at armas length.
The three faces smiled back at her. She remembered Nick in his youth when he tried to fly off the couch. Well, he was Superman, after all. Unfortunately, Superman required ten st.i.tches. Jocelyn? Well, she tried to nurse Mr. Bear back to health after he fell off his bike. Allie knew then her only daughter would go into the medical field. She was due to graduate next spring with a degree in nursing.
She then looked at Toni and laughed out loud when she remembered how sick she made herself at the Cubs game. What a nut, she thought. She also tried to ignore her fantasy about her. She took the drawing and carefully placed it deep between the sheets of the pad for safekeeping.
Chapter 7.
aFrank Sinatra or Nat King Cole?a Allie asked.
aFrank Sinatra.a aOkay. Ella Fitzgerald or Judy Garland?a aDoris Day.a Toni didnat notice the scathing glance from across the table. She was fighting with the sh.e.l.l on the Dungeness crab. The crab was winning.
aDoris Day was not an option,a Allie reminded her as she easily cracked open the sh.e.l.l.
This irked Toni to no end as she frowned childishly and continued to struggle. aDoris Day is always an option,a Toni countered seriously as she watched Allie pull out the delectable morsel, dipping it in the hot melted b.u.t.ter. Allie rolled her eyes dramatically as if savoring the taste. Toni pouted as she watched.
Allie smiled and gave her a smug grin. aNeed some help?a Toni narrowed her eyes at her. aNo, I donat,a she said with maniacal glee and raised the small wooden hammer. aIall do this my way.a Allie visualized the crab flying all over the restaurant. aGive me that!a Toni obliged and handed over the murder weapon.
aHere, you baby.a She switched plates with Toni, who grinned happily. Allie placed the plate of crab in front of her, free of sh.e.l.ls.
Toni ate her fill of crab and patted her stomach. The waiter brought out the key lime pie, and she rubbed her hands together; she dug into the pie with gusto.
aSo, no date tonight, Inspector OaHara?a Allie asked as she ate her dessert.
aNope,a she said between mouthfuls. aIam free as a bird.a She finished her pie, then watched Allie eating hers. aNo husband tonight?a aNope. Paul is in New York. I will never eat a full meal when Iam with you,a she said evenly and pushed the pie in front of Toni. aYouare good for my waistline.a aShut up about your waistline, you look fantastic,a Toni said and dug in.
Allie took the opportunity and watched her. Toni OaHara was in tremendous shape. Tall and lanky with the longest legs Allie had seen. She smiled remembering her fatheras words. aShe has legs that go all the way to the floor,a he would joke about Allieas mother, who was tall like Toni. Toni wore no jewelry to speak of, just a small silver chain with a Celtic cross. A simple watch and no rings. Allie knew Toni was not a fashion hound by any stretch of the imagination.
When asked to this expensive restaurant, Allie took all day trying to figure out what to wear. She smirked now, looking at Toni devouring the key lime pie. She wore a white T-shirt under a black v-neck sweater with the sleeves, as usual, pushed up nearly to her elbows. Her silvery-streaked raven hair, all over as usual, looked as if she used her fingers for a comb. She wore a pair of black jeans and cowboy boots. Allie eyed the black leather jacket. Her mind went back to earlier in the evening when Toni came to pick her up. Allie had watched her come up the front walk and had to admit the woman looked s.e.xy in black. s.e.xy? Allie asked herself.
ah.e.l.lo.a Toni waved a hand in front of her face.
Allie blinked. aIam sorry, what were you saying?a aI asked you, Ella or Judy?a aOh, Ella Fitzgerald,a she said obediently and drank her coffee. aSo tell me the truth. Doris Day because of her voice or...a Toni wriggled her eyebrows, answering her question. Allie laughed and shook her head. aSo.a Allie dug the crab out of the sh.e.l.l and dipped it into the b.u.t.ter.
aSo b.u.t.tons,a Toni said, doing the same.
aTell me about your past loves.a Toni looked up and sported an amused grin. aNo.a Allie laughed outright. aWhy not? You know about mine. As meager as it is.a Toni sat back and took a drink of wine. aIave sown my oats, letas leave it at that.a Hearing the playful tone, Allie took that as her cue to continue their banter. aIam sure you have exploitsa"a aYes.a aAnd youare not going to tell me? And I thought we were friends. Camon. Have you ever been in love?a Her grin spread across her face as she looked at Toni, who immediately stopped the banter. All at once, Allie felt as though she was being intrusive.
aSure,a Toni said softly. aIam just like anyone else. Iave been in love.a Allie didnat know what to say to the pensive woman sitting across from her. Toni stared at her winegla.s.s, seemingly lost in her past. Nice going, Sanders, Allie thought.
Toni looked up then and smiled sadly. aBut I fell in love with a snake that bit me in the asp.a Allie blinked for a moment, then saw the crooked grin and laughed. aYou are an asp.a aThank you.a Toni raised her gla.s.s to Allieas.
After dinner, they walked along Michigan Avenue, and while Alana window-shopped, Toni had her hands in her pockets not saying much. She liked the comfortable silence she shared with Alana. She didnat feel as though she had to make conversation or flirt or try to impress her. She liked this afriendshipa thing they had going. Lost in her musing, she realized she was walking alone. She stopped and looked back at Alana, who was gazing in a store window.
aWhatcha lookina at?a Toni ambled back and stood next to Alana as she looked into the art gallery. Though closed, there was a billboard stating the Van Gogh exhibit that week. aAh, art. I should have known,a Toni said affectionately.
Alana chuckled and started walking again. aItas a beautiful night, isnat it?a Toni had to agree, it was a cool autumn night.
aLook at that moon,a Alana sighed. The full harvest moon was rising between the tall Chicago buildings. aI can barely see it for the high-rises.a Toni glanced around. aCome with me.a She walked to the curb, let out a shrill whistle, and hailed a cab.
aWhat are you doing?a aYouall see,a Toni said with a childlike giggle and pushed her into the cab.
The cab let them off, and they walked down Navy Pier to its end. Lake Michigan spread out before them as the moonbeams rested on the waves.
aYou have a romantic soul,a Alana said as she looked out over the lake. aI canat believe you have no one in your life.a Toni turned to her. aHey, I have plenty...a She noticed the motherly glare.
aSomeone to tell your troubles to, not just share a bed,a she scolded gently.
Toni took a deep breath and said nothing. There was a moment of silence. aI have you,a she said in a low soft voice. aYouare probably my best friend. Iam fifty and I can honestly say Iave never felt more at ease with anyone.a Alana smiled slightly. aI feel the same way. Iam glad weare friends, true friends.a Toni nodded and turned her attention back to the moonlit lake. They stood in silence for a moment.
aBut you are an asp.a Toni pulled Alana away from the pier. aCamon, letas get you home before you hurt yourself.a The next day, Allie had just finished the last cla.s.s of the day when her cell phone went off. She smiled when she looked at the caller ID.
ah.e.l.lo, schoolmarm,a Toni drawled into the phone.
Allie laughed, juggling her phone as she walked through the school parking lot. aHi. Whatas up?a aWell, I know you said your husband was out of town, and last night was fun. I thought if you werenat doing anything, well, maybe...a aIave just finished my day. What did you have in mind?a aHow soon can you be ready?a Allie stopped in the middle of the parking lot. aIam in the school parking lot. Ready for what?a she asked tentatively and heard the laughter on the other end.
aJust be ready by five. And wear something like you had on last night.a aWhat?a She looked at the phone. aToni, what are you hatching in that brain?a Toni laughed again. aNothing. Just be ready by five. See ya,a she said and hung up.
Allie was ready by the appointed time. aOkay, where are you taking me?a Allie asked as Toni drove into the city. She looked...well, she looked good, Allie thought.
Toni wore a pair of tan slacks and deck shoes, no socks. A navy blue cotton shirt, sleeves rolled up, of course, neatly tucked into the belted slacks. She peered at Allie over her sungla.s.ses.
aItas a surprise,a she said in that low voice.
Allie tried to ignore the hammering, which started again.
Toni pulled onto Michigan Avenue, and Allie noticed she stopped by a crowd that had gathered. Toni pulled up sporting a grin. She hopped out and a valet opened Allieas door. She tossed her keys to the young man. aI know the mileage, so no joy riding,a she said seriously and slipped the valet a folded bill. He grinned and winked.
Allie was just looking around, saying nothing. Then it dawned on her. She looked at her grinning friend.
aSurprise!a aToni, weare going to the exhibit?a aYep. Just so happens, I know the owner of this gallery. So when you stopped here last night, I had the idea. Iave never been to an exhibit. Jane a.s.sured me this was going to be a big one,a she said with a shrug.
She saw the amazed look on Allieas face as they made their way inside. Toni had to admit she didnat have a clue about art. She picked up two gla.s.ses of champagne and handed one to Allie.
aFree drinks and eats,a she exclaimed happily.
aNow I know why you came.a Allie sipped the bubbly spirits.
Tonias hearty laugh echoed throughout the hall. She cringed as heads turned. aSorry,a she whispered.
aWell, well,a a womanas voice called out behind them.
Allie was about to turn when she noticed Tonias face pale dramatically. She said nothing as she watched the very elegant woman saunter toward them.
aGina, what a surprise,a Toni said, gulping her champagne.
aI could say the same for you. How are you, Toni?a Allie took a step back and watched. Toni looked sad, hurt, and p.i.s.sed all at once. The transformation was astounding. Gina grinned like a cat as she took the gla.s.s of champagne out of Tonias hand and took a drink. Allie raised an eyebrow watching the arrogant exchange. This woman then handed the fluted gla.s.s back to Toni and kissed her cheek.
aItas been a long time.a Gina wiped the lipstick off Tonias cheek with her fingertips.
aNot long enough,a Toni said and pulled back.
Allie knew Toni tried to sound light and uncaring, but her voice was anything but.
Gina laughed slightly as she ran her fingers through her blond hair. Allie noticed the dazzling blinga"the woman had rings, bracelets, and a dress Allie knew did not come off the rack at Marshalls.
aDonat be cross, Toni. I never expected to see you at an art exhibit.a Allie raised an eyebrow and watched as Toni turned a nice shade of crimson and avoided her curious glance.
Gina gazed at Allie with mild amus.e.m.e.nt. aYou must have some hold on her.a She looked Allie in the eye.
Allie raised the other eyebrow and sported a smug grin. aNo, not really. I like art, and Toni was kind enough to bring me.a Gina pasted on a smile and nodded.
aGina, this is Alana. Alana, Gina is an old friend,a Toni said.
Gina held a limp hand out to Allie. aDonat be modest, dear. I never could get Toni out of bed long enough to drag her to an art gallery,a Gina said with a sly grin and looked at Toni.
Toni gulped down her gla.s.s of champagne and took another off the tray as the waiter walked by.
aAre you bragging or complaining?a Allie asked.
Ginaas smile turned into an evil glare. She reminded Allie of Cruella DeVil; she just smiled sweetly.
Toni sputtered and choked on her champagne. aWell, this was fun. Like slamming my head in a car door. Weall have to do this again real soon. Goodbye, Gina,a Toni said and steered Allie away.
aIt was a pleasure, Gina,a Allie said over her shoulder.
Toni laughed softly as they made their way into the exhibit. aSorry about that.a Allie shrugged. aItas none of my business. Youare not responsible for the actions of former bed partnersa"of which you have many, Iam sure.a Allie hoped Toni knew she intended that to be a joke. However, when an awkward silence followed, Allie knew she had been judgmental. aG.o.d, Iam sorry. I have no right to make any comments about your life,a she said, completely apologetic.
aForget it. I have no secrets with you. Like I said last night. Iave sown my share of wild oats. You were bound to meet one sooner or later.a Allie reached over and placed her hand on her forearm. aYou owe me no explanations. Youare a grown woman with a healthy s.e.xual appet.i.te. Thereas nothing wrong with that.a As they walked through the art gallery, Allie stole a glance at Tonias somber face. aWas she the snake?a Toni grinned reluctantly and nodded. Allie could feel the sadness emanating from Tonias body. She easily wrapped her hand around Tonias forearm. aWell, letas forget her. Let me tell you about Vincent,a Allie said lightly, easing the tension.
aOkay, schoolmarm. Iam all ears,a she said with a smirk. aGet it? Van Gogh, all ears?a aYes, I get it, OaHara.a Allie grabbed two gla.s.ses of champagne. aHere, you need this.a She looked around. aNow where is the guy with the tray of hors daoeuvres? You look like youare going to keel over from hunger.a The evening was delightful. Occasionally, Allie would find Toni watching her while she talked with a few people. aAre you bored? We can leave.a aAre you kidding? You look too happy talking about G.o.d-knows-what. You go be artsy. Iam very content watching you have fun, as long as I...a Toni stopped the server with the champagne tray and the server with the hors daoeuvres.
After the exhibition, Toni glanced at Allie now and then as they walked side by side down Michigan Avenue.