Alicia paused as she took a deep breath "I knew he would never love me, but even though I found out you were lying to him: I never told him. Maybe I should have but on second thought, is he even worth it. To him, I will always be an ugly, poor, pitiful person that his family took compa.s.sion on" Clearing her throat she continued "But this is going to be the end of it, I promise you that. I have wasted all my love on the wrong person, but it took me this long to realize it and that is my fault""Am I not lovable? why is it that I have never known what love was? My father left us as soon as I was born, my mother died when I was 8. But I thought I had found it in Brother Chad, you know, that love I never got from my father"
"You know, I see it when my mother looks at me, although, she loved me in her own little way. I was also the reason why she gave up on her dreams, doctors told me she died because she was ailing from an incurable disease but they lied to me. Do you know why she died?" Alicia looked at Greer in mockery, laughed at herself in depreciation and then continued
"She died because the world was no longer fair to her, everyone turned their backs on her, she was once the brightest star shining but everything was taken away from her. When I grew older, I saw her suicide note and she told me to make her dream a reality, that I was too mature for my age even when I was just a baby. I was her support and I should help her avenge her death and get the rightful place back from those who worked behind the scenes to destroy us "
Alicia sat down and stared at Greer for sometimes before continuing slowly "But do you know what I did? I ignored my mother"s wishes, Why? because I wanted to stay by Chad, always with the hope that he will see me someday not as the nerd he appreciates or that poor, pitiful thing but as his woman, his lover. Guess all that was wishful thinking on my part. I turned my back on the one person who truly loved me just so I could be with the one who doesn"t "
At this, she laughed bitterly at herself. Chad who was still in hiding started shedding tears, without knowing why he felt his heart ache. Alicia stood up and slowly but confidently made her way to the door where she saw Chad staring at her like a lost puppy. He wanted to say something but the words were stuck in his throat, he looked over at where Greer was, she was in such a sorry state with swollen cheeks, tears streaming down her face, nose running and looking like a scary toon out of a horror movie with her smeared makeup, but he didn"t feel anything for her at that point. He turned back to Alicia, only to find out that she"s been long gone. Staring dazedly for a while, he seemed to have remembered something and ran out to chase after her.
Alicia went into the bathroom and cried her eyes out for a while without knowing she has caused a storm in Chad"s heart. When she finally calmed down, she washed her face properly and walked back into her room to retrieve her gla.s.ses. She picked up the band that couldn"t be used anymore and dropped it in a small paper envelope, after which she took out a new band and styled herself properly with her nerdy part more visible.
Greer had long left the room after returning to her senses. "This is for you mother, I am sorry I didn"t fulfill your wishes before but I promise to make them all pay, I will make sure to get your honor back for you". Alicia swore as she packed up only the things that belonged to her since she came to the Peppers and making sure to leave whatever it was that was bought for her or giving to her as pity gifts.