Chapter 9
Yes, I was guilty, not to such heinous crime extent ah.
I pulled a long face, “I’ve known you for so long, you didn’t say your father is such a big leader.”
Chi Fei Fan unexpectedly also comforted me, “There are many that are higher level of leadership than my father, and besides the nature of all civil servants are the same.”
I relentlessly accused him, “But you’re usual presentation doesn’t come off as a junior!”
He felt like it was very funny, “Then how should a junior should be ah?”
“At least drive a Maybach?” I counting down, “As well as Bugatti Veyron, Spyker, Maserati, Phaeton ……”
Chi Fei Fan said, “I’m not selling cars, and besides with my salary can I afford these cars?”
So to say romance novels are deceptive! Deceptive!
After the shock, I thought things through again, and I finally felt relieved, “Will your mother check my ancestors three generations, and then go on a vigorous campaign to break up us the affectionate couples [1]? A woman like me certainly can’t become your family’s daughter-in-law, do not let her waste her strength, I’ll automatically withdraw okay?”
[1] 棒打鸳鸯 Bàng Dǎ Yuān Yāng: a.n.a.logy for loving couple or lovers. 鸳鸯 Yuān Yāng are Mandarin ducks. Literature used the a.n.a.logy of husband and wife.
Chi Fei Fan blankly stared at me, “You read too many romance novels, is my mother that kind of person?”
I told him very earnestly, “The child in my womb is not yours, we can’t get married.”
Chi Fei Fan inverted a sad face, “How is that you and your elder sister are both this like ah? Your elder sister always asked whose son I was, she was also like this. You also said you wanted to marry a junior of high-ranking officials, the results you are Lord Ye professed to love dragons! [2]“
[2] 叶公好龙 Yè Gōng Hào Lóng: Lord Ye professed to love dragons – Lord Ye of ancient times who was very fond of dragons adorned his whole palace — beams, pillars, doors, windows and walls — with drawings and carvings of them. When a real dragon in heaven heard of this it was deeply moved by his infatuation and paid him a visit. When Lord Ye saw the real dragon thrusting in its head through the window of his study and its tail moving in his palace, he was frightened out of the house for his life. Clearly, what Lord Ye loved was not the real dragons.
Lord Ye… was someone who claimed to be fond of dragons was scared out of his wits when a real one appeared. Yeah, I didn’t think I have the same problem as the same clansmen ancestor, I did not expect Chi Fei Fan still have such a sad history. My elder sister true love is also really hard to find, it actually caused people to be rendered speechless.
I have laid my cards down, the calamity has been caused, I have returned “home”, I also have seen “father-in-law”, even if the sky is falling I’ll just think of it as a quilt cover. I am very open-minded, anyway this is the most bizarre episode I’ve come across, I also have nothing to lose, I’ll see what else blood pouring there is to come.
As Chi Fei Fan’s friend, of course I want to be frank with him, “The child is not yours, it’s Lu Yu Jiang.”
Unexpectedly Chi Fei Fan even smiled at me, “I know.”
I really “bang” a sound and fell to the ground unable to get up……
Today, there’s too many accidents, one after another, it’s really too much for me.
He said slowly, “That night you were drunk, you told me.”
My mouth fell open, if he already knew then why did he sought after me, sought until I was in a general turmoil, and even today making the best of an error without rectifying it, pushing me to stand in front of his parents?
I murmured, “You must love Lu Yu Jiang isn’t it? So you recklessly tried to sought after me, knowing I had his child you still sought after me. It is because you are under the pressure of your parents so you can not be together with him, so you decided to find the best solution within the secular sight, and that was to marry me… …this way you can encounter the person you love from the third kind, because that person is Lu Yu Jiang…… Did you and I really sleep together, or when you slept with me you finally felt you were closer to Lu Yu Jiang……”
Chi Fei Fan finally found it unbearable, “What is your mind filled with ah? Did Chen Mo influences you to be like this?!”
“Ah? So you do not love Lu Yu Jiang, instead its Chen Mo……”
It’s really dog blood [3], magnificent, extraordinary love triangle……
[3] 狗血 Gǒu Xiě: Can be used to describe the plot more old-fashioned, plot childish dramas or novels.
Chi Fei Fan was frustrated sitting in the sofa, holding his head, he appeared very painful.
I patted his shoulder, “Brother, it’s okay, it’s not your fault you’re h.o.m.os.e.xual, it’s only G.o.d playing a joke. Moreover Chen Mo is quite good, he’s gentle and considerate, he is my sister, I a.s.sure you, he is a very good person.” I tried to emphasis, “really!”
Chi Fei Fan finally took me by the hand and gently said to me, “Jing Zhi, today you must be tired, you sleep for a while, get some sleep.”
What he said is true, today I am very tired, very tired today, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. That b.a.s.t.a.r.d of Lu Yu Jiang made me sad, Chi Fei Fan’s family shocked me, all the things like ran up to me, like the tsunami in Indonesia, taking thousands of my brain cells and swallowing it up. I have no energy to think too much, I also did not have the energy to think about what to do in the future. I laid in Chi Fei Fan’s big bed, unconsciously closed my eyes. Chi Fei Fan help me pull up the quilt, his voice still gentle and nice to listened to, “Jing Zhi, the following matters let me handle them, I will let you be happy.”
I wanted to tell him, I will never be happy, because Lu Yu Jiang’s doesn’t want little soy bean, he doesn’t want me.
But this doesn’t no matter, I knocked him unconscious, I kicked him in the b.a.l.l.s.
That guy is such a jerk, and I also don’t want him, I’ll live on and give birth to little soy bean, take good care of little soy bean and bring him up, and then tell him that his father is major b.a.s.t.a.r.d, so I left him.
I had been loving him so hard, loved until my heart ached, loved until I felt despair, loved until I was unable to extricate myself, loved until my soul was destroyed.
What I owed him, it has been paid off, what he owes me, also has been eliminated cleanly.
From now on I will not love him.
Slowly closing my eyes, I haven’t reach out to wipe my tears when the tears has slid down my cheeks.
Basically Chi Fei Fan and my situation was called “He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount.”
When I woke up, Chi Fei Fan’s mother has already ask for leave from my company, the company has approved my paid vacation. She also gave me a new mobile phone sim, saying the original number was not secure, this number will not display my number when I called out.
I looked at Chi Fei Fan, he finally have some junior of a high official feel.
Chi Fei Fan said, “Pregnancy in its early stage is not stable, taking a vacation is also good. Changing your mobile phone will avoid too many people finding you, pregnant women needs to call less.”
Aunty nodded approvingly, “Finally look a bit like a father figure.”
Chi Fei Fan and I were oppressed by the demons of our guilty conscience, our scalp were numb.
I also want to be quiet for a period of time, my injured heart wants to hide to recuperate. Although my heart is very rough, but just like when you’re injured it’ll also hurt, bleed, it’ll retreat like a hermit crab, slowly crawl back into one’s sh.e.l.l until it thought it was safe. So I changed my mobile phone number, only to give my father a call to tell him I’m going abroad on a business trip, temporarily won’t be using my mobile phone.
Father said, “On a business trip? Does Chi Fei Fan know?”
Just look, he remembered Chi Fei Fan more than he remembers me.
I said, “He knows, it was him who took me to the airport.”
My father was rest a.s.sured, thus he hung up the phone.
Chi Fei Fan arranged a small two bedroom house for me to live in, the food and drink was good, every day there was an aunt that take care of me and cook very delicious food. I ate mouthful of oil flow, there wasn’t a day where my weight didn’t soar like a slaughter pig.
It was almost like pa.s.sing my days like a fairy/G.o.d, almost like the treatment the female leads in romance novels will receive, almost simply like the evil capitalist way of life.
A few days later Chi Fei Fan’s mother came to see me twice, while also particularly over the top. Once with a full set of the obstetrics and Gynecology group, from the old professor to senior midwife, they gave me a lesson in pregnancy knowledge, from what to eat and drink to bathing, and what to pay attention to while sleeping, I listened until I dozed off.
Aunty was especially tolerant, “Being sleepy is a normal reaction, today we told you too much, you take a rest, after two days I’ll bring some books for you to read.”
I think for a brief moment I felt I’m an unforgivable sin. Why did aunty treat me so well, it is because she thinks little soy bean in my womb was Chi Fei Fan’s child? But Chi Fei Fan and I have lied to her, especially me, it was simply shameless.
I have once done shameless thing before, but I also did not expect to do it the second time.
Chi Fei Fan solemnly asked me, “Don’t say anything to my parents, leave it to me to deal with, okay?”
I had to promise him.
I ran after him to ask what happened the other night, he didn’t tell me, he just smiled, “Let’s get married, raise the children, isn’t the result good?”
What so good about this? He was willing to be cheap father, but I was not prepared to find such a father, the main point was such a prominent a grandpa. When I thought of this I felt distressed, I don’t know what Chi Fei Fan wanted to do, I could not guess his thoughts, just like I always could not guess Lu Yu Jiang’s thoughts.
I thought being husband and wife for three years, Lu Yu Jiang would have a little bit of sympathy for me. Just like the famous female writer who wrote in novels, after getting married, as times goes by, after giving birth to the child, the man more or less will treat her with sincerity.
I was wrong for being too stupid and naive, if he really did have feelings for me, then why would he would want to divorce me?
It’s because he doesn’t love me, he didn’t even want little soy bean.
I will always remember the words he said, “Jing Zhi, abort the child.”
How could he even say it?!
It is a life, a living life, it was a fusion his and my bone and blood, it was an embryonic being in my body, it was his and my child.
How could he even say it……