Chapter Twenty-Seven
A Debt to be Repaid.
Xuanji clenched her jaw. "The security around the imperial palace is tight. Are you sure you have this ability?"
"Then we"ll see if I do have this capability!" Watching her grow angry, her cheeks reddening, only increased his desire to conquer. As he pressed her closer towards his body, taking in her scent, he s.h.i.+fted closer, kissing her lips.
Xuanji was furious and miserable. Even though she knew that the possibility of help was slim, she still wanted to cry out for someone, yet Long Liyu"s expression grew heavier as he swiftly blocked her even more of her acupuncture points, sealing her speech.
He was about to carry her deeper within the Lin Gardens when an urgent voice abruptly sounded from the forest a short distance away.
"Your Majesty, I saw Concubine Nian head this way earlier."
Long Liyu cursed under his breath and quickly calculated his options, before turning to Xuanji and saying in a low voice by her ear, "Don"t you have a servant called Diefeng? If you dare to cause undue alarm to His Majesty, let me a.s.sure you, both your servant and this beast will not escape my wrath."
Xuanji only stared coldly at him.
With a wave of his hand, Long Liyu unsealed her acupuncture points. Without a word, Xuanji quickly scooped up her clothes from the ground and hurriedly put them on, before carrying the little wolf back into her arms.
She saw Long Liyu"s suspicious glance move past her just as a smile began to spread across his lips.
What was this man trying to achieve now?
In her bewilderment, she heard Long Liyu say in a jovial voice, "Greetings to Your Majesty."
Xuanji"s body shook.
The Emperor was here… but why had he come over?
"Greetings to Your Majesty." Xuanji bowed her head and curtsied, her vision caught on the brilliant yellow of his robes.
She kept her eyes lowered, not meeting his gaze.
"Oh? Third brother, you"re here as well?" Long Fei-li said mildly.
As well? Long Liyu could not fathom the meaning within the Emperor"s words, but as he had never paid heed to this mild-mannered younger brother of his, he only said smilingly, "I just departed from the Empress Dowager"s quarters, and had nothing to do, so I took a walk around. In just a year, this place has changed a lot. I didn"t expect to meet Concubine Nian -"
"Nothing to do?" The Emperor said with a smile that matched Long Liyu"s. "The new year has just pa.s.sed and the prefecture under your governance should be dealing with many state affairs, so how could you have nothing to do? But you"ve just reminded me of my carelessness, to forcibly retain you in the capital for so many days. How about this - tomorrow, I will ask our tenth brother to escort you back."
A flash of anger crossed Long Liyu"s face. Long Fei-li had always been an even-tempered man, and he had always resented the late Emperor"s decision to pa.s.s his throne down to his scholarly-like ninth brother. Yet he had never expected that this same brother would have seized his careless slip and turn the tables against him with a few well-chosen words.
"How can state affairs be measured against the bonds between us family? I wish to remain here with you and Mother for a few more days," Long Liyu said with a laugh, but his eyes were carefully observing the Emperor"s expression.
The Emperor"s expression remained unchanged as he said, "I also long for you to remain in the capital, except we are both aware of our mother"s high expectations of you. If I were to retain you here for a few more days, I"m afraid the common people will accuse you of neglecting your state affairs, and our mother will be extremely disappointed. You should return to your prefecture tomorrow."
Anger rose within Long Liyu, but as his schemes with the Empress Dowager were incomplete and he had not ama.s.sed all the required troops, he still retained a fraction of fear in face of the Emperor"s supreme authority. With a frozen smile, he said, "I understand. Thank you for your kind intentions."
"En." The Emperor did not say much, leisurely walking towards Xuanji, obviously indicating for him to withdraw.
Clenching his jaw, Long Liyu said, "Let me take my leave."
"Third brother," the Emperor said abruptly.
Long Liyu halted in his steps, turning. "Does Your Majesty require anything else from me?"
The Emperor did not even turn his head. The sunrays which flitted through the willow trees by the lakeside illuminated his body in a faint glow, causing his shadow to stretch across the grounds.
When the Emperor finally spoke, his voice carried a hint of darkness. "You grew up within this palace and are aware that the Lin Gardens is forbidden territory. In your next visit, you would do well to avoid this place. There are wild beasts within the garden, and I am worried for your safety."
Long Liyu sneered in contempt. Wild beasts? The Emperor"s words were clearly a warning for him to stay away from Nian Xuanji!
"Your Majesty, thank you for your concern. You should say repeat this advice to Concubine Nian as well, to dissuade her from coming here at her own whims.’
The Emperor interrupted him, "I arranged to meet Concubine Nian here, and this matter is beyond your concern."
So the magistrate could commit arson, but the common people could not even light their lamps! Long Fei-li, very well… one day, both your empire and your women… Long Liyu was furious, but he suppressed his anger and departed with a sweep of his sleeves.
The Emperor looked towards the direction of the forest by the lakeside.
"I will take my leave." Xia Sang, who had been standing by the forest all these while, said with a bow.
In the Lin Gardens, a heavy silence descended.
The Emperor"s measured gaze slowly landed on Xuanji"s forehead.
Sorrow and anger… Emotions were often concealed in the face of serenity. Xuanji"s heart hammered in agitation, but in the quiet stillness of the Lin Gardens, it was as though only melancholy remained.
Yet she did not raise her head. She did not know if she was afraid or unwilling, but she did not want to think about it, so she slanted her gaze and looked in the direction of the lake.
The warmth of the sun in Spring… the sunlight, s.h.i.+ning upon the grounds through the willow trees… the trees, swaying softly in the wind, was a picture etched onto the unmarred surface of the lake.
Occasionally, a bird would fly past. With a flutter of its wings or a chirp from its beak, this small movement would shatter the tranquility of the Lin Gardens.
Some things, no matter how beautiful they appeared to be, were only an illusion, as temporal as a bubble. One could only look at them from afar, never to touch, for the illusion would evaporate at once.
"Allow me to take my leave." Eventually, Xuanji could not hold out against the unbearable quietness and the restless agitation in her heart. She turned to leave.
"Give it to me." She heard the Emperor"s voice sound from her back.
Amidst her confusion, the Emperor continued, "Its life - don"t you care about it anymore?"
Only now did Xuanji realise that the Emperor was referring to the little wolf. Her heart skipped a beat. Why… Why did he now…
No longer hesitating, she ran back towards him.
Pa.s.sing him the little wolf, which has fallen into unconsciousness.
The Emperor extended a hand to receive the little wolf, and looked at her with a faint glance. Now, Xuanji could not help but raise her eyes. As their gazes met, she saw the clear depths of the Emperor"s pupils, devoid of a single emotion.
Unconsciously, Xuanji’s brows drew together, her head full of misgivings.
The Emperor did not make a sound, removing an embroidered pouch from the band around his waist. From within, he retrieved a small pill before feeding it to the little wolf, his hands moving to rest on the little wolf"s back.
He was using his inner energy to heal the little wolf?
The little wolf"s eyes were shut, its body unmoving.
Anxiously, Xuanji asked, "How is it?"
"Concubine Nian, it will be fine." A voice said from the forest.
It was Xia Sang, who had left and just returned.
Xuanji was momentarily surprised, but Xia Sang had already explained with a laugh, "To begin, the Emperor had not struck the little wolf with his full strength."
A line appeared between the Emperor"s brows. "Have you retrieved it?"
"Yes, Your Majesty." Xia Sang nodded. Upon seeing the Emperor"s expression, he immediately realised that he had spoken too much, and was briefly alarmed, hurriedly saying, "I will withdraw now."
Why was it only the two of them again?
The Emperor placed the little wolf on the ground and said, "Later in the evening, make a trip over to Chuxiu Hall."
Having said these words, he turned to leave, as though his disdain towards her was no less than hers towards him, to the extent that he did not even want to remain here in the Lin Gardens for a moment longer with her.
"Long Fei-li." With a smile tinged with sadness, Xuanji finally said the Emperor"s name.
The Emperor stopped. He turned to face her, his brows arched.
"Concubine Nian, it is great disrespect to call the Emperor by his given name."
"Why?" Xuanji stared evenly at him.
In the end, the Emperor had chosen to save the little wolf, but the coldness in her heart had only increased.
"What, why?"
"You know what I"m asking."
The Emperor did not reply. He turned to leave, yet he soon halted in his steps once again, turning to face with furrowed brows the woman who held onto his sleeves from behind.
Xuanji"s gaze did not leave his face as she said, "Tell me. Of all the emotions you have shown, how much of it is genuine, and how much a pretence? Or should I say, everything is a pretence, am I right?"
She saw the long lashes of the Emperor cast downwards, the expression in his eyes unclear. He seemed to be deep in thought.
After a long moment, he said in an expressionless voice, "You do not have to pay attention to anything else. Nian Xuanji, I am indebted to you. This much is real."
Xuanji stilled. Indebted?
"You are indebted to my father?" she asked uncertainly.
"Him?" The Emperor repeated in ridicule, before his voice deepened. "No, it is you."
So did that mean Long Fei-li and the original Xuanji were acquaintances? But he was the Emperor of Xi Liang, so how could he be indebted towards her?
She clung onto his sleeves, her misgivings clear in her eyes.
With a glance at her hands, tightly wound around his sleeve, the Emperor said, "It happened many years ago. You probably do not even remember it. All that matters is the person who ought to remember does not forget."
Shaking her head, Xuanji asked quietly, "If you are truly indebted towards me, why do you treat me in such a manner?"
"I saved you from the Empress Dowager, bestowed upon you new servants, rescued the snow wolf for you and asked Jixiang to advise you about your conduct within the imperial palace - are all these not enough?"
His indifference the night she had hit her head against the bed frame…
And today, in Qiuying Pavilion… towards her, he was…
As Xuanji s.h.i.+fted her gaze to stare at the lake, gently reflecting crystals under the sunlight, a thought began to surface in her mind.
The Emperor seemed impatient, and with a small exertion of strength, cleanly extracted his sleeves from her grasp.
Her eyes fixed upon his retreating back, Xuanji heard her voice, tight with emotion.
"It"s because you don"t want me to fall in love with you, am I right?"
"You can think as you like."
The Emperor turned away, his eyes unreadable.
"Why don"t you want…?" Through her choking voice, she asked, the tremor in her heart twisting at her.
"Because I detest you. This, is not a pretence either."
Xuanji suddenly remembered the first time they had entered the Lin Gardens, when she had pleaded with him to save the little wolf, she had asked: "Weren"t you once a child? Didn"t you once need someone to protect you too?"
He said to her: "I"m afraid I will have to disappoint you. I did not."
That was the first time she had heard the disdain in his voice, when she had begun to understand that this was the man"s true feelings towards her.
Now, he said, "I detest you. This, is not a pretence either…"
With a thousand different masks, it turns out, this was truly his feelings towards her.
"Am I so detestable?" She finally asked with great difficulty. "Why?"
The Emperor"s eyes were as subdued as the depths of a murky lake. "Your character will cause you to lose your life in an instant."
He was right, as usual. She was indeed unsuitable for life here. Having to save her time and again made him exasperated, didn"t it.
Xuanji froze, theb said with a forced smile, "So why did you make me your Consort? If I didn"t enter the palace, wouldn’t that be better?"
The Emperor stood with his hands clasped behind his back, his attention on the lake. After a long silence, he said, "There are some things you don"t need to know, just as there are some things beyond our control."
Having said these words, he turned to leave. Yet once again, he was stopped in his footsteps, a crease appearing between his brows as his eyes fell upon her hands which were wrapped around his waist.
Her humiliation and disgrace in Qiuying Pavilion… she hated him, or should she say, she ought to hate him. But now, there was only hurt.
If she had once been comforted by the thought that she had at least managed to leave a mark in his heart if he had been angered by her actions, now, even this last comfort had turned to ashes.
All of it was an act.
From the beginning till the end, only this contempt was genuine.
Now, he would grow even more tired of her, wouldn"t he. Xuanji"s gaze landed on her own arm, wrapped tightly around his waist. What was she doing? Didn"t she have any pride?
The body which was pressed close against hers did not have any measure of warmth.
"I don"t know what are the things I am allowed know, but I…"
"What is it?" In a quiet voice, the Emperor suddenly said.
"Why are you indebted towards me?"
"Many years ago, you once gave a bowl of rice to a young child."
"A bowl of rice?"
"That child had been starving for three nights in a row, and without your pity, he would never have been able to survive past that night of winter. You don"t have to try and recall. When you were ten, you fell gravely ill and no longer have any memory your childhood."
He said that he was indebted towards Xuanji, so would that child be him? But he would have been a Prince then, so why would he have been living amongst the common people, and why would he have appeared at the Nian family manor?
She wanted to ask, but he coldly interrupted her.
"That is all."
"What about the little wolf? Why do you treat it so?"
Her hand was shoved away.
"Nian Xuanji, nothing is predestined by the Heavens. Just because it is a snow wolf, thought to be a natural-born King, does not mean that we should all sacrifice our lives for it."
Thinking about the corpse of the dead wolf, Xuanji"s heart sank.
The Emperor continued in an icy voice, "This is the world of mankind. This beast has not even grown into its powers, so what right does it have to provoke others? If it were unable to tolerate, doesn"t it deserve death?"
He spoke without feeling, but she could not refute him or his harsh lesson taught towards the little wolf, for he did reach out to save the little wolf in the end…
With a sweep of his sleeves, the Emperor had already stridden away, his figure a distance far front. Her vision blurred.
In the end, all their interactions these past few days existed only because of the original Xuanji? Some memories flashed across her mind.
- Weren"t you once a child? Didn"t you once need someone to protect you too?
- I"m afraid I will have to disappoint you. I did not.
- Many years ago, you once gave a bowl of rice to a young child.
- Is your treasury running out of money?
That dinner which they never managed to finish together - the two bowls of plain vegetables and tofu and even more vegetables and tofu…
In the long-gone past, had he once led a difficult life too?
Perhaps, only at this moment did she finally begin to understand this man.
"Long Fei-li, I will just ask you one last question, can I?"
He remained unmoving.
"Why did you come over to my room in those two nights?"
Translator ramblings: in every fan-made MV, they always include this part of the conversation between NXJ and LFL that I have the Chinese memorised by now
年璇玑: "你所表现出来的种种，哪些是真的，哪些是假的，或者该说都是假的，是不是？"
NXJ: "Of all the emotions you"ve shown, how much of it is genuine, and how much a pretence? Or should I say, everything is a pretence, am I right?"
龙非离: "其他的你不必理会，年璇玑，你对我有恩，这是真的。"
LFL: "You do not have to pay attention to anything else. Nian Xuanji, I am indebted to you. This much is real."