"I do not wish consideration, my lord. I wish to get it over with," she announced grimly.
It was nice to know she was so eager, Adrian thought, then frowned as Clarissa started forward, b.u.mping the small table beside the door and sending an unlit candle tumbling to the floor. Muttering under her breath, Clarissa knelt, holding her lit candle out as she felt around in search of the other that she"d knocked off the tabletop.
Adrian hesitated, then shifted the linens and blankets on his bed aside and got to his feet. He was completely and utterly nude, but she was practically blind without her spectacles. Not that it would have bothered him to walk around nude in front of her. While his face was scarred, his body was unmarred and in perfect condition. Still, Adrian would have shown her innocence some respect and not revealed himself so soon if he"d thought she could see properly.
"Here, I shall get it," he said as he crossed the room to join her.
Adrian had held his hand out, intending to help her to her feet, but Clarissa only raised her head to glance at him. At least, he thought that was what she"d intended to do, but her eyes never made it to his face. They reached his groin and froze there, and she suddenly went white.
"Dear G.o.d," she breathed. "Your truncheon is huge."
At least, Adrian thought that was what she said, though he barely heard the murmur and could be mistaken. Certainly if that was what she"d said, it made absolutely no sense.
Any concern or curiosity over her words died an abrupt death when she moved the candle closer as if to get a better look. It was obvious her depth perception was off. Adrian almost got his own piffle burned-and not just with some hot water, as Reginald had-and without the barrier of cloth to protect his body! Catching the candleholder, he took it from her with one hand and urged her to her feet with the other.
"Come, then. If you wish to tend to this tonight, I would be more than happy to accommodate you," Adrian a.s.sured her. He walked her to the bed. Had she been able to see, his desire would have been in no doubt. His piffle had become as stiff as a pole at the prospect.
He set the candle on the bedside table as Clarissa climbed into bed, then turned back to find her climbing out the other side. As he stared at her blankly, she stood on the opposite side of the bed, wringing her hands as if they were damp towels she was washing.
"You have to get into the bed if you wish ... Well, I do not suppose it has to be in the bed," Adrian allowed uncertainly. But truly, despite her claim that she wished to get to it, she did not look eager to do so. Tilting his head, he eyed her uncertainly. He finally said, "Clarissa, is there something wrong?"
His wife shook her head mutely and continued to wring her hands, her eyes wide and-in his opinion-alarmed.
Deciding she must be a bit nervous about the bedding, and that he should approach the task carefully and gently, Adrian did not order her back into the bed, but walked slowly around to join her on the opposite side, thinking to kiss away some of her anxiety. But the moment he rounded the bottom corner, she turned and scrambled into the bed again.
Adrian smiled faintly, thinking she was as changeable as the wind. He started to climb onto the bed, only to pause when she continued across and scrambled off the other side.
Straightening slowly, Adrian stared as she turned to face him across the expanse, once more anxiously wringing her hands.
"Clarissa," he said slowly. But that was as far as he got before she blurted, "I do not think I wish you smashing my pie with your truncheon."
Adrian stilled and blinked. There was that truncheon word again and he had no idea what she was talking about. Smashing her pie with his truncheon? That did not even make sense. "I fear I have no idea what you are talking about, wife."
Clarissa gave a little jerk at the last word, then said, "I mean, I do not want you breaking my veil with your key."
Rather than helping him understand, her words simply confused him further. "What?"
"My lock is too small for your truncheon."
"Are you speaking in tongues?" Adrian asked. "Clarissa, I have no idea what-"
"Lydia explained everything."
And Adrian went still, the light suddenly going on in his head. He should have realized earlier. "Lydia," he repeated.
Clarissa nodded fervendy. "You said to ask her about why this would be uncomfortable. I did not ask, but she explained anyway."
"I see." He sighed. Her odd behavior today suddenly made sense: Lydia had scared the h.e.l.l out of her, and she"d spent the past ten hours dreading the night ahead. And it was all his own fault, he acknowledged. He had told her to ask Lydia rather than explaining about her maiden"s veil himself.
Running one hand wearily through his hair, Adrian said, "And Lydia said that I would smash your pie with my truncheon?"
Clarissa nodded. "She said her mother told her it was like a man was the key and the woman was the lock, and that he would put his key in her lock, but that that was all lies. It is much more messy than that, and painful too, and then she took a litde silver truncheon and smashed it into a cherry pie and said die top crust of the pie was the veil drat the man had to break through with his truncheon. And I am not altogether certain, as I do not have my spectacles, but from what I can tell, you appear to have a very big truncheon, my lord."
The last was said in a most woeful tone, as if it were a bad thing indeed, and Adrian had to bite back a smile. In truth, there was nothing amusing about any of this; Lydia had managed to make his wedding night much more difficult than it had to be. But still, he was relieved to know it had nothing to do with her having somehow seen and been repulsed by his face.
"Clarissa?"
"Yes?" She looked as wary as a doe, eyes wide and alarmed, chest rising and lowering swiftly as her breaths became shallow and swift.
"Do you like my kisses?" he asked patiendy.
Her expression became even more wary, as if she sensed a trap in the question somewhere. However, after some hesitation, Clarissa nodded and said, "Yes, my lord. I very much like your kisses."
"And do you like when I touch and caress you?"
Clarissa shifted on her feet as if preparing to fly, but nodded.
"And did you like what I did to you in your room?"
Clarissa bit her lip, but nodded again.
"Then what if we just did that again?"
"Just kissing and touching and ..." Even in the firelight he could see her face flush pink. "The other?"
"Yes," Adrian lied. He had every intention of taking it farther than that, but first he had to get her relaxed and prepared. Telling her ahead of time that this was what he intended would not aid his efforts.
Clarissa relaxed a litde. "You do not mind if we do not...
" "Smash your pie"?" Adrian supplied dryly when she hesitated. "No, I do not mind."
Clarissa let out a litde sigh and smiled, one of those wide, beaming smiles that made him feel like the most attractive man in the world. She didn"t even bother to answer his question verbally, but instead crawled into the bed and setded under the covers, then turned to smile at him expectandy.
Adrian heaved a little sigh of his own, sure they were past the worst of it, then pulled back the blankets and linens and eased carefully in beside her.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
Clarissa felt the bed depress beside her as Adrian slid under the linens, and that was as long as she lasted before throwing herself at him. Her husband gave a m.u.f.fled grunt of surprise as she plastered herself to his chest and kissed him wildly across the face, cheeks, nose, and forehead.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," Clarissa murmured between each kiss. She peppered everything she could reach. "Thank you for being so patient and understanding. You are the best husband in the world. Truly, my lord, I am the luckiest of women."
His breath brushed her ear as a soft chuckle escaped his lips. "I am happy you are pleased."
"Mmm." Clarissa smiled, slipping her arms around his neck as he slid one hand to her back and the odier into her hair. "Please kiss me, my lord husband."
"As you wish, my lovely lady." His mouth closed over hers, and Clarissa immediately opened to him, a little murmur of pleasure sounding in her throat as he tipped her back on the bed and rolled atop her. This was what she liked. This, she enjoyed. His lips on hers and his body pressed close sent little shivers tingling through her body and made her toes curl. Clarissa thought they should always just do these things. She saw absolutely no reason for pie smashing at all, really. Unless they needed to do that to have children, she realized. She supposed they would eventually have to get to the pie smashing if that were the case.
Adrian"s hand found her breast through the thin cloth of her gown, and Clarissa"s ability to think died a quick death. Gasping into his mouth, she arched into his touch, her hands digging into the flesh of his shoulders as he caught her nipple between thumb and finger. He rolled and tweaked gently, sending little shocks of excitement through her.
Clarissa was shifting her legs restlessly, and as if in answer to her unconscious demand, Adrian shifted to his side and caught her hip in his hand. Drawing her onto her side with him, he then slid one of his legs between hers. His bare skin against hers was the most erotic thing Clarissa had ever felt. It was also the way she knew her gown had ridden up; but she didn"t care. It felt so good, she found herself shifting her legs to make things easier. She then closed them when his thigh reached the seat of her pleasure and began to apply a gentle, insistent pressure. It felt so good, she found herself pressing down onto it.
Clarissa was aware of the way her body was contorting in an effort to get the most out of Adrian"s caresses, but only in a subconscious, vaguely uninterested way.
Most of her attention was on the excitement and pleasure he was creating and building in her.
Adrian broke their kiss, and she threw her head back with a gasp and pressed herself more firmly into his embrace, wanting more but not sure of what. Her new husband seemed to know, however. His mouth burned a trail across her cheek to her ear, then down to the base of her throat, where he nibbled briefly as his hands set to work on her gown.
Clarissa heard the sound of ripping cloth, but in the next moment her husband"s calloused hand had closed over her breast again, and she cried out. This was so much better! His rough skin on her sensitive flesh made her buck in his arms with shock and excitement.
Then his lips left her neck, and they moved over her collar and down until they found their way to her breast. Clarissa moaned as his mouth closed hot and wet over her flesh; then she gasped and jerked as he gently bit at the nipple. She felt her knee hit something hard between his legs, and heard his groan as he went completely still.
"I am sorry, my lord," Clarissa gasped. "Did I hurt you?"
Adrian was silent for a moment. He had let her nipple slip from his mouth and squeezed his eyes closed, an expression of pain on his face. Clarissa bit her lip, afraid she had hurt him so much that he wouldn"t wish to continue.
"Shall I kiss it better?" she asked. The words slipped out without a thought. It was an offer her real mother had often made when she was a child and skinned a knee or banged an arm. But the question seemed to cause Adrian more pain, for his body went even stiffer against her, and his eyes opened. He was close enough that she caught a glimpse of fire in them; then he shifted and his mouth covered hers, ravishing.
This was no gende kiss, no careful exploration; it was a devouring, a demanding, a wanting that raised an immediate response of hunger in Clarissa so strong that she kissed him back with just as much pa.s.sion and need. The kiss became almost a battle, and when he finally broke it and Clarissa resurfaced, she found that she was again on her back and he had shifted to setde between her legs, removing the threat of her unintentionally kneeing him again.
She was panting, but blinked and stilled, holding her breath as Adrian pressed a gende kiss to first one eye and then the other. Clarissa blinked open her eyes slowly, and peered up at him, and found he was close enough that she could see his beautiful face. Even the scar on his cheek did nothing to mar the perfection of him. Clarissa smiled softly, feeling her heart tighten in her chest at just the sight of this dear man. He had found her miserable and alone, and set out to try to make her happy with picnics and prose.
"I..." Clarissa began, and then caught herself as she realized that she"d been about to say, / love you.
She blinked at him with confusion, and her mind tried to wrap itself around the thought as well as the feeling behind it. Surely she couldn"t love him. Not yet. It was all far too soon, far too much, far too easy. Was love this easy?
Her thoughts were distracted when his hands began to wander again, and she focused her gaze on him as he shifted to kneel between her legs, moving out of focus so that he became a blur. Still kneeling there, he ran his hands over her stomach and then up to cup both b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Clarissa glanced down at herself to see that her nightgown had become a belt about her waist, leaving her exposed from the hips down and the waist up. Adrian was taking advantage of the exposure. She could feel his eyes eating her up as his hands glided over her tender white skin. He fondled her, and she felt him watching her face as he did.
Self-conscious under his gaze, Clarissa struggled not to arch into his touch, and bit her lip to keep from making a sound; but when he concentrated on her nipples again, a low moan ripped from her throat. She felt bereft as his hands left her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and couldn"t keep back another moan, but then his hands coasted down her stomach to catch her at the hips. Clarissa twisted restlessly on the bed, wishing he would kiss her again, or ... well, do something.
She"d barely had the thought when Adrian let one hand dip between her legs and drift over the damp flesh there. Clarissa squeezed her eyes closed and jerked under the touch, her own hands knotting in the linens. She could feel her teeth grinding together as her excitement jumped to an almost unbearable level. Then her eyes shot open as Adrian bent to press his face to her belly, brushing it first one way, then the other, as if wiping his face on her flesh. Finally he shifted lower, his mouth tickling as it trailed over the flesh of her hip.
Clarissa knew his intentions, and still she jerked wildly and went stiff as a board, her knees bending and heels digging into the bed as his head dipped between her legs. It was too much. Too much. She couldn"t bear it, Clarissa thought, and then she became aware of the small mewls and moans that were struggling out of her throat and mouth. Embarra.s.sed, she tried to stop them, tried to regain enough control to end the sounds. As if aware of her struggles and determined to ensure they failed, Adrian slid one hand back up her body to knead and squeeze one breast, and Clarissa gave up the batde, allowing the small sounds freedom to become louder.
She began to thrash under his ministrations, her head twisting wildly on the bed, her hands tearing at the linens, her heels alternating between digging into the mattress and then pressing into his sides. And just when Clarissa thought she couldn"t bear it another moment, Adrian slid a finger into her and upped the pressure, so that she gave up her hold on the linens and grabbed for the headboard above her. Clarissa pulled at it so that she was almost dragging herself up away from him, even as her hips pushed up off the bed into his caresses.
Eyes squeezed closed, body in an agony of excitement, Clarissa didn"t even notice when Adrian shifted his position and rose up over her. When his mouth covered hers in a kiss, she automatically kissed back, sucking at his tongue for all she was worth. And in the next moment Clarissa was crying out in shock as something large and hard pressed into her.
Both of them froze and remained completely still. Then Adrian slowly lifted his mouth from hers and she could see him clearly as he peered down at her with worry.
"Are you all right?" His voice was harsh with strain.
Clarissa swallowed, then shifted her lower body tentatively, only to realize that they were fully joined. He had put the key in the lock. "Y-you smashed my pie?"
It was a question. She thought that might be what had happened, but had felt hardly a pinch of pain, and wasn"t at all sure. And while her excitement had died an abrupt death from surprise at the intrusion, it certainly hadn"t been anything like Lydia described.
Adrian rolled his eyes, but his voice was solemn. "Yes. I smashed your pie." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then said, "I am sorry; I thought it best to get it out of the way. Are you okay?"
Clarissa nodded slowly, taking in his tense expression. Of the two of them, he seemed to be in more pain. At least, that was how it looked. It certainly wasn"t pleasure on his face at the moment and she asked, "Are you all right?"
"Yes." The word wasn"t very convincing, coming through his gritted teeth as it was. "Does it still hurt?"
Clarissa shook her head and admitted, "In truth, my lord, it did not hurt much at all to begin with."
"But you cried out."
"It startled me," she admitted.
Adrian hesitated, then asked, "How does it feel?"
"Odd," Clarissa said honestly. She offered a wry smile. "And a bit disappointing."
Adrian"s eyebrows rose. "Disappointing?"
"Well, I was ..." Blushing, Clarissa lowered her eyes to his chest and admitted, "I was enjoying what you were doing, my lord. And would have liked to have experienced the ... er .. . completion of it, as I did that time during the fire. But now I just feel- What are you- Oh!" Clarissa gasped with surprise as he shifted his weight to one arm and slid his hand between them to touch her.
"You ... Oh, that is ... Oh, husband," Clarissa breathed. Her hips began to move of their own volition as he caressed her, and her previous excitement leaped back to life.
"That is... that is ... that is ... Ohhhhh." She moaned, her hands catching at his upper arms and clenching tighdy.
Adrian chuckled, and when he bent his head to kiss her, Clarissa murmured her pleasure into his mouth. She gasped as he removed his hand and withdrew slighdy from her body. But before she could complain, he slid back into her at an angle, allowing his body to rub against the spot he"d previously caressed.
Clarissa groaned deep in her throat, her hips and legs shifting instinctively to increase the caress of his body. Her nails dug into his back to urge him on, and he withdrew once more, to plunge forward.
This, then, she thought with wonder, was the truncheon and the pie, the lock and the key, the man and the woman. His body was filling and pleasuring hers even as it pleasured itself-or at least, she hoped he was experiencing pleasure. It was hard to tell; Adrian was not expressing himself as she was; he wasn"t making the soft sounds in his throat that Clarissa couldn"t seem to hold back.
She suddenly realized that, while he"d caressed and kissed and touched her, she had yet to do more than clutch at him as if he were a life raft in rough waters. She spent a moment trying to think of a way to make things more enjoyable for him, wondering if she should kiss and caress Adrian"s nipples as he had hers, but then the excitement was back at fever pitch and it was difficult for her to think coherendy. In the end, Clarissa put the thoughts away for later consideration and simply held on to Adrian as the anchor he was, the only thing keeping her body and soul together as he drove them both to the edge of the world and pushed them off.
* * * "Here you are!"
Clarissa s.n.a.t.c.hed the spectacles off her nose and stuck them into the pocket inside her skirts, then turned quickly toward her husband"s voice as he crossed the library to her side.
"I woke up and you had gone," he growled just before claiming her mouth in a swift kiss.
Clarissa sighed with pleasure into his mouth, and snuggled against him as her arms slipped up around his neck. She"d woken at dawn and slid from his bed to return to her own room to dress. Joan had not been there yet, and she had been too impatient to wait, so she had dressed herself. Clarissa had a project she wished to attend to before the whole household was up and about.
She had wanted to search the library and see if there was not some book of instruction on how a wife could please a husband. Donning her clothes, she had grabbed her spectacles, slipped from the room, and made her way below to the library undiscovered. She"d spent the last hour on the hunt.
Unfortunately, Clarissa had not come up with a single volume on the subject. Most books seemed more inclined to suggest that she could please her husband best by running a smooth household and budgeting well. Such advice wasn"t at all what Clarissa had in mind.
Her thoughts scattered as Adrian suddenly scooped her into his arms and turned toward the door. Clarissa gasped into his mouth.
"Husband, you are not dressed," she broke their kiss to say, surprised to feel nothing beneath the soft silk cloth of his robe.