Chapter One
“Lee, you’re late.”
I apologized to everyone with a smile. I ordered a few drinks at the bar and pushed my way through.
After Lin Jing had returned home, I became far more desolate by myself. Every day coming home from the office, I’d stare blankly at a room without even a pet. I was practically living in torment, fooling around with a pack of rogues more and more with each pa.s.sing day.
The few whom I sat with chatting were all in a circle of well-acquainted friends who I also had a.s.sociations with at work. Usually we’d go out drinking together or go on a hunt, killing time. We weren"t each others type however.
Bluntly saying, everyone loves beautiful, young men. No matter how well-maintained you are, you’re still an ancient forty-year-old man in the eyes of an old friend; a far reach from young boys.
The gay bar on a weekend night was packed with all kinds of men: different ages, occupations, skin colors, nationalities; crammed together like a can of sardines, so dazzling that it made ones head swim.
But regulars like us were already trained to be able to quickly identify the good and bad with sharp eyes even in the dim lighting. In a few minutes, Paul’s eyes lit up beside him. He took a gla.s.s and braved the wind and waves through the crowd. Forcing through, he advanced toward his aimed prey.
This guy’s boldness was the same as ever.
Paul’s image wasn"t anything to be said: slightly bald with a round belly and a very eager look. Nevertheless, he had the guts to make a move, suffering defeat in every battle, repeatedly losing and repeatedly fighting, and was willing to throw a lot of money away. As a result, he still had the skills when it comes to catching boys and would gain quite a harvest.
I was much more modest. This was probably due to my Asian nature.
In addition, I cared for my own face and feathers, never losing self-control, and, what"s more, never lowering my stance. Being particularly attentive to others must also need a knight’s pride. No wonder most of my time is spent alone in bed.
G.o.dd.a.m.n it.
“Smack!”
A sharp and clear, resounding slap. Although the bar was so noisy, we still heard it crystal clear.
A few people glanced up and quickly lowered their heads for a drink with unspoken mockery.
A moment later, Paul sure enough awkwardly pushed his way back. He muttered a couple swear words, and then pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his face.
I quickly called a drink for him to cover up his embarra.s.sment.
Paul actually wasn"t a bad person. To be beaten back with humiliation like this, he would never seek revenge. He was just lecherous. Toward others, he was very generous, openhearted, and upright.
But which of those handsome, young boys would fall in love with us because we’re generous, openhearted, and upright?
“Paul, there’s no need to find someone that pretty. Isn"t it more convenient to find one closer to our age?”
“No way! When it comes to this, a young man is better after all.”
As I looked at Paul’s big, fat face with a hint of oily sweat and fingerprints, I couldn"t help letting out a breath with a bitter smile.
Look at this awkward group of ours. Even people with similar age and qualifications aren"t willing to accept you; let alone youthful, great, young men.
I was much better than him. I was younger than them by a few years. My appearance could be considered handsome. And I didn"t age fast like Westerners. Moreover, I worked out regularly and still maintained a good figure. If I agree to swallow my pride and painstakingly pursue, I’d still be able to find a nice boy.
But after that?
In a few years, I’d be more miserable than the Paul now. I’d probably spend my remaining years with only loneliness and pride.
Just thinking about it brought a shiver up my back.
Recently, the news even reported that an old lady died alone. And when found one week later by a neighbor, her face had been half eaten by cats that she herself had raised.
I really didn"t want my own future to have such an outcome. Yet the chance of that with people like us, who wanted a companion to be with until the last breath, was on the same level as buying the lottery once and winning the top prize.
But I’d never won the lottery.
d.a.m.n it.
When Paul b.u.mped into luck the second time, he was luckier. That tall, well-proportioned, young black man with a nice face seemed to have a fondness for him. The two men quickly delved into a blissful conversation.
There were other men at the same table, looking quite sharp. We sat on over with good grace, toasting everyone’s drinks and talking; drinking not only to savor every drop of the wine.
Coming to this kind of place, everyone’s agenda was alike with minor differences. They all used their eyes and tone of voice to feel each other out: wearing a smile, eyes flashing about, shouting in the east and striking in the west; privately trying to figure each other out.
One needs this battle of wits to find a bed partner, which isn"t easy at all.
I was smiling and drinking while listening to Paul spouting nonsense when all of a sudden, the heat rose by my ear.
“Please excuse me for a moment?”
Standard, clear English, but the p.r.o.nunciation exclusively belonged to a Chinese man that was new to the area. I immediately gave way. And as I turned my head, I gazed, sure enough, upon an Asian face.
An exceedingly, exquisite face and skin that actually faintly glowed under this kind of lighting. He was dazzlingly spotless and taut to who knows what extent.
Noticing my gaze on him, he politely smiled. Since the music was too loud just now, he leaned over my ear and shouted. At this moment, as I straightened up, I could see that he was also quite tall, perhaps not losing to me at all.
The man across from us waved his gla.s.s and said to him, “What took you so long? I’ll introduce new friends to you...”
As it turned out, he was with them and had merely stopped by the restroom. I was sitting in his seat. With a smile, I shifted over, and he sat down beside me.
The so-called “new friend introduction” was in fact amusing. It’s just finding out how we should address each other.
Here, relaxed people were all cautious. Who would honestly confess his own name, family, and occupation to a one-night stand? Eight out of ten called themselves Jack. The rest, Jim, James, John, could also be picked from anywhere, pa.s.sing through the ear and forgotten.
As expected, this boy claimed to be Jack. I chuckled and nodded to him while I touched my drink.
When drinking, as I peered over my gla.s.s at him, he happened to lift his eyes. Our eyes met, and my heart suddenly pounded.
Quickly smiling, I placed the gla.s.s back on the table and casually said a few words on gossip to the man on the other side. I didn’t want people to see that my heart was actually stirred at that moment.
So annoying. This kid was entirely the type I liked.
My heart raced as I drank with a calm face, secretly contemplating on how to quietly make my move.
I was a veteran of a hundred battles. Sitting close to him like this, I didn’t know why my face was actually a bit hot. My thigh that was inadvertently touching his was also burning.
I faintly sensed that he seemed to be watching me. Pretending to calmly drink for a moment, my blood flowed more quickly. I only felt my throbbing temples.
Making up my mind, I slightly looked to one side and raised my eyebrow while smiling toward him. He really was openly staring at me, but not necessarily the erotic sort of meaning. His eyes were very childlike.
“You should let your hair down...” He suddenly reached out without warning and carefully ran his fingers through my hair, sorting out a few strands of hair.
My heart beat wildly, and I was tongue-tied all of a sudden, doubting myself of such good luck. Although I was a mature and handsome man, but to a boy like him, I wouldn’t have any confidence in a victory.
On the other hand, the person next to me, who had clearly thought we’d be spending the night together, shifted target. This time, my chance of even striking up a conversation with someone else was gone too.
It was gradually getting late. People who had found partners would be leaving to look for a place to pursue pleasure. I looked at him. This brat better not play me. If he stood me up, I definitely wouldn’t have any other choice than to rely on my own right hand to resolve it.
His expression was, on the contrary, very sincere, “Where are we going?”
Facing his brightly clear, innocent, black eyes, I almost blurted out, “to my house.” Luckily, the nonsense was shoved back down my throat.
Lee, don’t you get feverish in your head. Taking him back without knowing where he’s from, how is that any different than leading a wolf into the house? I might be robbed and quartered the next day.
I was getting on in years and treasured my life.
I let him in the car and drove to a hotel.
So far I was still very cautious. He was quiet all the way, not speaking much, just gazing at me intently. He was very frank as he answered to whatever I asked.
From our conversation, I felt that he had received a good education, had clear, bright eyes with no traces of drugs, appeared financially stabled, good shoes, simple-styled brand-name watch released a year ago on his wrist that was fitting for a college student, nails were neat and tidy with only a minor ink mark.
He was probably still studying in school, not a suspicious dawdling punk, which ruled out the possibility that he was a con artist. I managed to calm down and breathed a sigh of relief.
I wasn’t overly paranoid because I was that much apprehensive. In fact it was…due to this boy’s special treatment in thinking highly of someone, making people feel flattered.
In the hotel room, I let him take a shower first. He merely said, “Mm-hmm,” and obediently taking a bathrobe, he pushed through the door. I sat on the bed and took out my wallet, retrieving a few condoms, in addition to a long tube of lubricant.
Carrying these things didn’t mean I was a dirty old man that thinks about these kinds of stuff all day long. These should be the minimum requirement for the sake of safety and courteousness.
I didn’t want to hurt someone’s child the first time.
Listening to the sound of water from the bathroom, I gradually became a bit nervous. On the road, I had ventured to question him. Sure enough he arrived in LA not that long ago. It was his first time going to the bar with friends. Furthermore, he was only twenty years old this year.
I was older than him by eighteen years…
Although I didn’t want to admit it, if I had a son, he’d probably be about that old.
A young person’s strength…my strength…
I looked at the number of condoms in my hand. I had originally taken two. I thought it over and retrieved two more. I pondered for a while. I better put one back.
Age really was a harsh thing…
Hearing the bathroom door open, I hastily crammed the condoms and lubricant under the pillow and stood up looking at him while smiling.
He walked out with damp hair that set off his bright and black eyes more. His face was dashing and childlike, behaving steady and calm. His face was somewhat clean and rough.
Just looking at him alone and I was on the verge of a heart failure. h.e.l.l, the brat’s basically my adversary.
It seemed like it had been ages since I’d been this nervous. As I showered, I examined my own body in the mirror.
Wide shoulders and narrow waist, though my body muscles were already starting to loosen. Luckily, the lower abs had no fat, but unfortunately, they weren’t very firm either. Fairly long legs shaped nicely, and between the legs…uh…basically it was also okay.
Hopefully my performance won’t be too out of touch.
I was very glad that I also carried pills…
Although I was a bit shameful of cheating, it’s to give myself extra points. Who wouldn’t cheat now!
Men go for pearling. Women go for breast implants. It’s simply the trend of the times. I swallowed the small pill. This was nothing compared to them.
The wine I ordered had arrived when I walked out after showering. Seeing him sitting at the bedside well-behaved, I tied up my bathrobe, took the opened bottle, and poured two gla.s.ses of wine.
Just when I was sneaking to swallow a pill, he suddenly turned to me. I quickly dropped the pill into the gla.s.s. Using my palm to calmly cover it, I asked him with a smile: "What’s the matter?"
He actually took the initiative, reaching out to my waist and pulling me over.
My heart leapt with joy. Turned out I was still fully desirable to this kid.
As his lips approached, my back stiffened – He actually intended to kiss me.
Honestly, this approach, for a one-night stand, was too much. And it could easily make people misunderstand. The lower part of the body is s.e.x. The lips are feelings. He was unclear even about this. He really was a child.
But before I could finish thinking, he had already kissed me. I accepted my fate and opened my mouth.
Not kissing was fine. Once we kissed though, I just felt like my soul nearly left my body. Of course his kissing technique was good, but logically speaking, how did he unintentionally make this veteran reach the point of losing his soul?
However, having his warm tongue turning and licking in my mouth, my mind instantly blanked out. With just the tip of the tongue gently going in and out, my lower body quickly entered into a critical condition, swollen to the point that I felt slightly painful.
In this case, even without the a.s.sistance of a small pill, I would definitely be able to perform superbly.
Not knowing how long had pa.s.sed, our lips separated dripping wet, gasping unsteadily. His black eyes sparkled, and he pressed his lower body against mine. Like a small dog, he leaned toward me and repeatedly rubbed against my lips.
Rubbed over and over like this several times with the lower half of the body stuck together blazing hot, I could barely hold it in. I quickly pushed him away.
“Wait a minute…” I was actually worried that I’d overexcite myself. Thrown into a panic, I blurted out, “Let’s drink some wine first.”
Somehow I’d given myself some time to adjust, to control my emotions.
“Mm-hmm.”
He was pretty docile. Getting up, he took the wine gla.s.s that I had put aside a moment ago and handed me a gla.s.s. Then, as if very thirsty himself, he lifted his head and drank the other gla.s.s.
“…” I froze.
H-he drank the gla.s.s that I had added the drug to.
Come on, there’s no such mishap, right? I’m the older one who’s in need of a refuel!
If by chance, I couldn’t last twice, then wouldn’t it be humiliating?
My entire body was immediately drained of strength. But on second thought, even though I may be at a disadvantage when it comes to physical strength, I had enough skills to make up for it. It was unlikely that I won’t be able to make him gasp in wonder.
Next, with our bathrobes stripped off, we embraced each other on the bed, kissing and caressing.
It was rare to have had such luck encountering this type of boy. The experience this time was enjoyable; both having the possibility for a follow-up to develop.
So I carefully fondled him, working extremely hard to please him and doing my best to tease him by every possible means. As expected, his body’s reaction was very intense. The hard object between his legs stiffened against my ab. There was even a touch of pinkness on his smooth skin.
I really couldn’t bear it any longer. While fervently kissing him and rubbing our thighs against each other, my hand crept under the pillow to retrieve the prepared items.
Our lips parted, and he caught a glimpse of the items in my hand. Lifting his hand, he took them. Then he rolled over and pinned me below him as his hand slid down my backside.
I was taken aback. Not having time to react, my bottom felt ice-cold.
“I’ll do it.” His voice was hoa.r.s.e.
I was still tongue-tied when his finger successfully squeezed in.
I almost felt like fainting. Quickly sparing no effort, I began to struggle, but I was firmly pressed down.
“Your insides...are so hot...”
d.a.m.n it, at a time like this, he used Chinese. Having someone say that in the mother tongue, increased the goose b.u.mps on my back. I really was not in the mood to thank him for his praise. I only wanted to promptly get rid of the finger that’s moving inside.
I had worked so hard just so I could find someone for me to top, not for someone to top me.
Moreover with one look he was, in this aspect, just a child with no experience at all; a hot-blood who had also mistakenly taken a pill. I now lay flat here because of his doing. Was I seeking for death?
Within my body, the finger increased to two. The color of my face must have looked terrible, and so he slightly paused. “Can’t do it?”
I managed to graciously smile and decided to put aside the pretense of using English. I went straight to the point and negotiated with the mother tongue: “I’ve only always been a top.”
He paused for a moment and then spoke: “So have I.”
The atmosphere was a bit awkward. Both at a deadlock. His member remained stubbornly against my behind with no intention of retreating. I was clear about the situation at hand. Either someone gives in, or we fall out and leave our respective way.
I weighed it out for a few seconds. Chuckling, I yielded. I tried to relax as I let his fingers ease in.
Still feeling very awkward.
This could be one sign of getting old.
At such an old age, I really didn’t have any a.s.sets. Even if I gave you the freedom to pick who, I may not have given you the freedom to choose who is top and bottom.
Yet, I also consoled myself that this type of guy can only be found by accident and not through seeking. All of them weren’t as splendid as him.
Moreover, he’s younger than me by eighteen years, almost half my age.
What can I be fussy about?
With a bitter smile, a stiff posture on the bed, and hips raised high, I felt him covering my back as his erection pressed against my b.u.t.tocks and slowly advanced in.
Although it’s very rude to say, but…
…this f.u.c.king hurts so much!
Penetrated by him like this, my tears nearly rolled down my face.
First time, what first time!
This was practically torture. Midway through, I just couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to scream out, “I quit,” but obviously that’s not likely. I could only bravely bite down on the pillow, refusing to moan too loudly. I forcibly pushed myself to loosen, letting him gradually drive all the way in.
Once he began to jerk, my senses were almost like the earth nearing its destruction.
My rear was blazing hot with pain and nearly split open as he plunged his thickness. Then he moved rhythmically over and over, while I was rendered speechless. I felt as if he reached the very depths of me. My visions blurred. My head dizzy.
If it wasn’t for my pride, I might have already pleaded out loud.
And it was at this sort of position that I was tightly embraced and heavily pinned for a good while. My kneeling legs felt weak. The c.o.c.k between my legs that was originally limp because of the pain slowly expanded a little once more.
The pain didn’t fade away, but amongst it mingled that sort of subtle pleasure that gradually increased in intensity. I was a little bewildered as I let him fiddle around and turn my body over, and powerless to resist as he held up my b.u.t.tocks and pressed the groin, plunging in.
From the back and forth impact of the body, sounds became slick and sticky, his movements growing more out of control. Salute to those d.a.m.n G.o.dsend pills. First time being the bottom, and it’s this kind of fierce experience. I really wish to weep without tears.
Unable to cry out, my legs were parted yet again, and were severely driven into.
Amongst the intense rhythm, there wasn’t even a chance to gasp for breath. Completely not bothering what position it was, my rear was repeatedly crammed and ravaged. The sore pain and hot sensation left the waist without an ounce of strength.
Doing it till later when I finally couldn’t bear it. Unable to care about the humiliation, I sobbed in his embrace.
Bottom isn’t really what one f.u.c.king does...
Ultimately, I was back into the position of being penetrated while face to face. To be firmly pinned onto the bed and ruthlessly shoved in and out for nearly half an hour, I felt that this old life of mine can no longer be secured.
Fortunately, before I could no longer breathe, he rammed in several times and stopped at last.
It was sticky and wet between my legs, painful and itchy; the burst of spasms made my legs tremble even now.
I felt him, after pulling out, hugging me from behind and ma.s.saging my chest to help me ease my breathing.
One hand stretched out and repeatedly touched my cheek. It seemed like he was intently studying me again.
"What’s your name?”
My waist was close to falling apart. The bones in my entire body were as if they had been disa.s.sembled. Painful and weak. Half dead and paralyzed on the bed. Hearing him closing in to my ear to speak, I felt ticklish. My heart nearly stopped beating and at that instant, strongly jumped twice.
“Lee.”
He still persistently asked with a soft tone: “Name.”
I was slightly hesitant, but eventually opened up. “Lee Mo Yan.”
I hadn’t used this name for a very long time and disliked it.
Mo Yan, don"t delay. You must not delay any longer. A sad, sour feel, as if pressing me.
I was pressed like such toward old age.
“Okay, I got it.” He paused and said: “I’m Ke Luo.”
“It’s these two characters.” He pulled my hand and held it. He earnestly wrote the strokes clear on my palm. Despite being weak, I still smiled.
So cute.
With the lights turned off, we should’ve lay down properly, separated from each other as we prepare to sleep. After a moment pa.s.sed, he came over and hugged me from behind with his face sticking to my back in the posture of a small child falling asleep while cuddling a plaything.
I don’t know why. Maybe it was due to drinking too much tonight. But as I listened to him speak, my head easily swelled in feverish heat with my heart beating wildly.
A young man’s clean, refreshed scent and the air so warm, made one feel exceptionally comfortable. I inhaled and drifted off into slumber.