Chapter Nine
The elevator dinged. I looked down at my watch. I barely made it at the last minute—I wasn’t late.
I greeted my colleagues with a smile as I walked, feeling light in the head. I had left the house on an empty stomach this morning. I valued appearance more than anything. I could spend an hour alternating hot and cold compress on my eyes to remove the unexpected, severe dark circles under my eyes and bloodshot eyes. Yet I couldn’t even squeeze in three seconds to blow my water cool for drinking.
Someday saving face will get me killed.
Upon entering the office, I saw a plate of tea cake set on the desk. The color and fragrance were both attractive. It was almost perfect if not for one small thing: there wasn’t my usual can of coffee. Instead, there was a carton of milk. It was still warm when I touched it. It was just heated.
For a man who had gotten up early with low blood pressure, it truly a was never-ending temptation.
It’s really a pity that Ke Luo didn’t take on as a househusband. Whoever lives together with him would certainly be cared for comfortably.
Unfortunately, I won’t be played around for a little sweetness from him again.
I swept the rather appetizing breakfast into the trashcan and called for two men to start moving desks and chairs.
Ke Luo came in just as I was vigorously directing staffs at hand to move his armchair. He gave a look of astonishment. “What is this?”
“You’re moving over there. It’s more s.p.a.cious.” I pointed to the other side of the shelf.
Our office was originally separated into two independent s.p.a.ces by a simple ornamental shelf. Usually, Ke Luo would be with me, sharing the wider side here. The other smaller half of s.p.a.ce was then lavishly changed as semi-idle.
Ke Luo had some doubt. “Why?”
I looked at him. “This is the original setup. One person, one compartment. Isn’t it much more convenient?”
The breakfast in the trashcan probably made him a little aggrieved. Ke Luo said no more. Slightly pouting his lips, he watched as a wide range of his public and private items were moved over.
After the rearrangement, my field of vision greatly expanded. I could vaguely see Ke Luo’s back only from the ornamental shelf’s gap.
This time, the world’s at peace. I didn’t have to look at him the minute I glance up.
Bullying Ke Luo could be considered as bringing a hint of pleasure.
In fact, it had pa.s.sed my mind that if it was Shu Nian who had his heart hurt by someone, he would have endured it silently as he moved his stuff out. Leaving his back for the person to stare after, instead of staring at that person’s back.
The approach will make people like him more. It’s this type that would wrench Ke Luo’s heart strings so much that his heart would ache.
But I’m Lee.
***
At night, I went to Narcissism to call someone as a treat for myself. He was a pure young man with big fawn-like eyes, lovable with the ability to act coquettishly.
I paid particular attention to the mood. A motel kind of place absolutely would not make do, but my wallet couldn’t afford to keep booking a luxury hotel outside. Poverty stifles ambition. It would be better to go home. It’s the essence of life to economize.
The house was brightly lit as I opened the door. This was my routine. Before going out, I’d turn on the lights. Sometimes I’d so much as turn on the stereo, so that when I came back, it’s bright and lively.
As a single man who frequently returns at night, I was fed up with opening the door and facing an icy, pitch black, dead silence of an apartment.
With a beauty in my arms, the spring nights always seem too fleeting. I naturally switched off the living room lights and embraced the fawn-like beautiful youth on the sofa with some tenderness first. Once he was restless from being teased, emitting cute sounds and actively opening his legs as he begged for pleasure, I began to leisurely unbuckle my belt in preparation to enjoy the big feast.
“What are you doing?”
A third man’s frigid voice emerged midway through our intimacy. Anyone would wither at once. The young boy shrieked in fright, shrinking into my arms. Even his sound resembled a small animal’s.
I had to hold him rea.s.suringly as my hair stood on end. My pants weren’t even pulled up properly, and my one and only weapon was a bottle of lubrication in my hand. How was I supposed to handle a burglar this way?
“Uncle Lee.”
It was then that I finally made out the face of the intruder who stood in front of the sofa. I couldn’t help but gave a sigh of relief and utter out a curse.
The boy in my arms timidly peeked out. “I-is it a thief?”
“No.” The corner of my mouth twitched a little. I aimed at Ke Luo, “What are you doing in my house?”
I seldom bring a take-out home to eat. Moreover, he’s spoiled my mood. Shouldn’t he be self-conscious and return me the house key?
Ke Luo wore only a shirt. With his sleeves rolled up and his hands dripping wet, he frowned. “I’m making you supper.” Once again, he eyed us up and down: a pair of disheveled, adulterous couple. “And you? What are you doing?”
“I’m currently eating supper. Can’t you tell?”
Ke Luo looked down at the “supper” in my arms, and his eyes widened. “He’s a…high school student?”
“No, it’s uniform role-play. He’s already an adult.” I resentfully got up and put my clothes back on properly. I took out my wallet to pay the fawn-like boy. “Be good and go back first. I won’t call a taxi for you.”
The fawn-like boy took the one night fee and left, leaving me with Ke Luo—the widened eyes fixed to the small eyes.
“You paid for pleasure?”
I calmly replied, “That’s right.”
“Do you have to stoop so low?”
“Don’t be so naive.” I couldn’t stand a man with a full stomach like him who didn’t know starvation. “Then what am I supposed to do? Go to the public toilet of a park to find a partner?”
He was young and handsome. With a casual lift of a finger, people would automatically lie on his bed. I, however, no longer had those a.s.sets.
Ke Luo towered above me, looking down: his delicate eyebrows slightly creased and his dark black eyes fixed on me. Looking up from this angle, the length of his eyelashes became more distinct. He was a beauty, pure and simple.
Broad shoulders, slim waist, long legs, good build, and fair-skinned with an intelligent and sensible look.
Probably due to an apparent change in the look of my eyes, Ke Luo, whom I was staring at, gave a puzzling expression.
I’ve said before that I no longer had any interest in him, but how could I not have interest in s.e.x.
I had spent money tonight to have a long overdue lovemaking banquet. In the end, I didn’t enjoy anything. I had just started eating the appetizer and the table was cleared. How could I swallow this in one breath?
Ke Luo’s thin, yet powerful, shirt-wrapped waist was before my eyes. I exposed my teeth with a grin and seized his belt, pulling him over.
Ke Luo, still taken by surprise with no time to react, was pushed onto the sofa by me.
His somewhat helpless look was mouth-watering. The lecherous side of me heightened, and I took advantage of the opportunity to unbuckle his belt and slide my hand into his pants. “Are you here as replacement for my supper, huh?”
Ke Luo was roughly gripped by me, and his face instantly flushed. He grabbed my wrist, stopping me from more obscene moves.
“Uncle Lee!”
There’s no use calling me ‘Uncle.’ I didn’t want to be modest with him. There wasn’t the slightest trace of tenderness in my action
“Scaring away who I was going to spend the night with, you should have the awareness of making up for it!”
Yet Ke Luo’s strength was great. He was unwilling. I truly was at a disadvantage and could only use my mouth to intimidate him. “You don’t believe I’ll rape you?!”
Before my voice dropped, Ke Luo frowned as his hand exerted more force, nearly breaking my wrist bone. My face distorted in pain. Let alone fiercely raping him, I couldn’t even move a finger.
He really showed no mercy. Badly battered, I climbed off him. Losing my old face completely, I barely died from shame as I reluctantly grinded out, “Is it worthwhile? It’s not as if we haven’t done it before. Why be so difficult?!”
“I don’t want to keep seeing you without pants.”
In those very few minutes, I actually couldn’t think of any similarly vicious insult to throw back at him. I could only smile as I properly dressed.
“You’ll never see it from now on.”
“Uncle Lee, don’t blame me for saying unpleasant words, but your private life is too out of line.”
I turned my back on him. “If you don’t want me to beat the h.e.l.l out of you, get lost!”
“Even if you’re mad, I still have to say it. You’re already at this age, how can you still not understand what it is to curb one’s instincts?”
I laughed out in extreme anger. “Then you tell me where I should curb my instincts to?”
Ke Luo seemed speechless. It took him a long while before he said, “You should find someone to treat with more earnestness. Live life properly.”
I nodded. “Many thanks for pointing it out, Master Ke.”
Ke Luo stood a bit awkward.
“Still not going?”
“Uncle Lee, if you need to, then I can introduce you to those who suit you.”
“Hah.” I was over the limit with rage, yet I spoke with composure as I felt for a cigarette. “Fine, handsome-looking and willing to let me do him will do. Any candidates?”
“…no.”
“Then don’t say whatever bulls.h.i.t.”
Ke Luo’s face reddened a bit. “Uncle Lee, it’s better if you don’t mess around outside. You’re always like this. How can you settle down and be with someone?”
I fiercely smoked a couple mouthfuls. “Despite being devotedly attached to Shu Nian, aren’t you messing around all the same?”
“I’m not messing around.”
I held my cigarette in my hand and laughed.
Ke Luo flushed from my laughter. “I’ve only slept with you.”
“Who the f.u.c.k are you fooling?”
Ke Luo fell quiet with his lips somewhat pouting. “I’ve only been with you.”
Without realizing it, the cigarette was lit to the end, burning my hand. I drew in a sharp breath from the heat and quickly put it out. “Why?”
Even in the dim light, I could see his black eyes clearly.
“I don’t know.”
Releasing my anger, I threw the cigarette b.u.t.t into the trash can. “Forget it.”
Ke Luo looked at me. “Then do you know?”
“f.u.c.k, you’re asking me? How would I know?!”
Ke Luo whispered, “Then it can’t be helped.” He suddenly leaned forward and kissed me on the lips.
A moment pa.s.sed, and I patted his shoulder. “Hurry on home.”
I didn’t hate kissing him. I hated myself who would get nervous like this because of a small kiss.
Ke Luo didn’t say a word and he had no intention of leaving. He just leaned in and kissed me yet again with more force.
I was suddenly a bit fl.u.s.tered and nervous. I took a step back and lifted my eyes. “What’s the matter? Master Ke, do you have an interest in s.e.x? It’s a pity I don’t. Pardon I don’t-”
Before I could finish speaking, my mouth was blocked, knocking my teeth so much that they buzzed.
I wasn’t the person to trifle with. While we wrestled, the coffee table was knocked over. It wasn’t as much of a resistance as it was basically a brawl. I seized the opportunity to beat him up with a couple blows to let off the acc.u.mulated steam.
After the fight, it was my turn to be pushed onto the sofa. We were both gasping for breath. I fell at a disadvantage yet again. Seeing as I was losing out, I couldn’t help but yell out, “Who was the one that just said he didn’t want to see me without pants?!”
Ke Luo was dumbfounded for awhile. Somewhat hard-pressed, he stuttered out, “I-I don’t want to…”
d.a.m.n it!
“Yet you still won’t f.u.c.king let go!”
Ke Luo pursed his lips: the precise image of a well-behaved kid. He released me and watched me swore as I sat up.
With my old animosity and new hatred combined, the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. And I berated him, “Even if you want to see, I won’t let you! Has seeing me without pants obstructed those eyes of yours? Is there somewhere you can’t look at or what? Do you think my waist is big? Or my a.s.s saggy? It’s been so long since you’ve seen them that you’ve forgotten what they look like, right? s.h.i.t-”
Before I could scold enough, my shoulders suddenly sank. I was pushed onto the sofa once more.
Ke Luo’s lips were very forceful. I was blocked, momentarily smothered. By the time I recovered, even my briefs couldn’t be insured. My lower half was chilly.
“Dammit, did you forget what you’ve said?!”
Ke Luo only called out in a small voice, “Uncle Lee,” then fell quiet as he forcefully kissed my neck and concentrated on his way down.
I was teased by him so much that my entire body felt out of sorts. I felt warmness between my legs. I was actually being sucked by him.
The b.a.s.t.a.r.d contradicting himself was no ordinary talent.
The process in which he used his lips and tongue to gently tease could count as pleasure for me in any case. But as soon as he stopped and changed his position, I knew something was wrong.
Unable to struggle free, I was forced to part my legs as I lay on Ke Luo’s lap. Something hard pressed between my b.u.t.tocks. My hairs stood on end. Having s.e.xual interest in him referred to enjoying this kind of beautiful young man, not for myself to be used for enjoyment.
Being topped is what I hate the most: to be held down, feeling his fingers lubricating between my legs. I could only hurl all kinds of abuse. I started giving my regards to Ke Luo’s line of ancestors--even Lu Feng wasn’t spared.
“f.u.c.k your X-” My mouth heartily cursed out. In fact, it was the opposite.
As something fiery-hot pressed against my rear, I only felt a burst of pain in my waist, and was then penetrated.
“Uncle Lee…”
I was already flying in rage out of humiliation. What the f.u.c.k are you calling out for!
Yet in reality, the feeling of being breached wasn’t bad at all. The shuddering sensation that the hard rhythmic movements carried out was, for the most part, amazing. I was gradually losing control of myself. The brat, in this respect…was undeniably good.
However, I was tossed and turned over and over again so many times that I couldn’t tell anymore whether the heck it felt too good or not. I could only, within the time he paused, to swear using my feeble breath, “d.a.m.n it, how long are you going to keep at it?!”
Ke Luo embraced me from behind. His fingers soothed the moistness between my legs. When I took my breath and slightly relaxed, my lower back was impatiently straightened as he buried in yet again.
Unable to catch my breath, I trembled as I said, “Y-you want to kill me…”
Ke Luo’s voice unexpectedly carried grievance. “I only do it with you. Yet you still don’t believe me…”
Aah! I now believe you’ve acc.u.mulated for too long. I’ll believe anything. Just, I beg of you, let my old waist go!
Lying on the sofa, unable to close my legs at all, I had even thought of dying. In the haze, I seemed to have heard Ke Luo say, “Uncle Lee, you’ll only do it with me, right?”
Hmph, you wish. Yet I wasn’t certain that it was a delusion produced from over fatigue, or a dream.
***
Afterwards, I’d pa.s.s time with a feeling of ambiguity.
Each day Ke Luo saw me, he’d smile with curved eyes. Although I threw away his filial piety of a breakfast, dim sum would often appear on my desk.
Every night, I would be in sleepless solitude in bed. When I wanted to casually fantasize, I couldn’t help but have the notion that perhaps Ke Luo had already fallen for me a little. He just didn’t know it himself. All day long, he’d say that he only loved Shu Nian. Maybe he’s just hard-mouthed.
If anyone was determined to look toward a bright side for a break up, then you could see hope everywhere you look.
You see, he did treat me pretty good. Even Lu Feng felt that we get along well. It’s hard to tell… it could likely be out of respect for his elders. But in the end, there should something more than that! To say the least, not many people would sleep with their respected elders.
He treated Shu Nian just like how his father treated Cheng Yi Chen: with stubbornness. Yet he’d meddle in my affairs. And there were so many men besides Shu Nian, so finding anybody was fine. Yet he was only ambiguous with me alone. Up until now, we’re still entangled.
Well, even if he hadn’t fallen for me, in his eyes, I was different than other people.
Perhaps, he wasn’t as enamored with Shu Nian as he had thought. To him, I wasn’t just an uncle who he had spent a few pa.s.sionate nights with.
After I came back to myself, I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. To be plainly rejected a good number of times and still be able to think so beautifully, I really was getting more thick-skinned the longer I lived.
But if a man isn’t so thick-skinned that he can bear swords and guns, how could one fight to obtain what he wants?
How can pies fall down just by sitting at home, hugging onto pride and self-pity? I’d experience the strong struggle to turn against a tide. Was there anything that I hadn’t fetched with my own bare hands?
The weather warmed up, and people became lethargic. During the afternoon, a drowsy feeling crept over everyone in the office. Break time had pa.s.sed, yet I was still sprawled on the sofa with files covering my chest, feigning to having fallen asleep due to losing to fatigue from diligence—sleeping soundly.
My cheek was suddenly struck by coldness. I was entirely woken up in surprise. My eyes opened to the sight of Ke Luo’s smiling face.
“It’s time for you to wake up.” He smiled as he held a can of iced coffee in his hands. A layer of fine droplets had just formed on the top of it. “There’s a business meeting in the afternoon. You couldn’t have forgotten, right?”
I hazily gave out an “Oh.”
“Drink and you’ll be more clear-headed.” He handed me the coffee. “It’ll be alright. If you’re not ready, then pa.s.s it to me.”
I hadn’t yet come back to myself and stiffly took the ice-cold can. I was so tired because I had been working too hard last night sorting the materials. I appeared to be lazy, but in fact I was capable and responsible. Otherwise Lu Feng wouldn’t even give me a thought.
Yet the words he had just said…was to cover up for me?
So, that the afternoon, I was determined to try my best at the conference table.
It’s said that a man is his s.e.xiest when he’s devoted at work: displaying my many brilliant talents and sharp eloquence. Maybe Ke Luo will grovel at my suit pants.
At last, a satisfactory contract was signed. Ke Luo smiled at me. I was. .h.i.t by a sense of pride. A man will always want to be thought of as a hero before a beauty.
In the end, everyone shook hands to start the cooperation. The partner in charge was a veteran who rarely attended to matters himself. I had been known him before. The business field was just that small.
He held my hand longer than usual. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Mr. Tong.”
“It’s been so many years since we’ve last seen each other. I’ve heard you’ve returned, but I never thought we’d encounter each other here.” His plump face displayed a rather polite smile. “Come, let’s drink more tea, shall we?”
Everyone else had packed up their things. We stood on the side to discuss the “old days.” Tong Shan looked warm and good-natured with a Santa Claus face. He was quite generous toward others and often did charitable work. But it’s hard to say how the generous capital came about?
“Originally, it wasn’t necessary for me to personally come.” He grinned. “I came just to see you. Young men are capable after all. Lu Feng is wasting a talented person like you on such a petty job.”
Don’t tell me he’s poaching employees? I smiled back. It’s difficult to know what’s fake and what’s genuine from courteous words. I only figured out what he meant after exchanging several words.
“How about coming to work for me? What I lack at this moment are talented people like you. I won’t mistreat you.”
Who knew that Tong Shan was far more straightforward than I had thought? I was actually shocked for a moment.
He smiled kindly and said, “Of course I won’t make you keep doing that small of a business. We have the ability to acc.u.mulate wealth. Working for a few years and you’ll be able to rest and live life with ease.”
I smiled more radiantly than his. “I dare not lay a hand on unlawful things.”
He grinned. “For you, is there a distinction between lawful and unlawful things?”
Wryly smiling, I gave out a cough. It’s true that I was most afraid of living an impoverished life. There’s no gain from being a law-abiding citizen.
Although it’s difficult to avoid running into a ghost when one often walks the road at night, I"d already enjoyed enough, so there’s no loss running into a ghost once more. It’s not that I can’t do something bad; it’s that you have to be smart when doing something bad.
Lu Feng treated me very kindly, but to work for someone can’t even compare with when I had my own business. When young men opened wine without restraint, I actually had difficulty breathing. There would never be another situation where I’d buy drinks for everyone in leisure with the guts to freely hand out tips.
But let aside of the fact that I didn’t have the nerve to stand Lu Feng up, just the reliability of this guy was very questionable.
The both of us were grinning widely at each other when I heard a clear voice call out, “Uncle Lee.”
I turned around and saw Ke Luo waiting at the door. His smiling lips parted to reveal his beautiful teeth.
I was letting my thoughts run wild again. Honestly speaking, why would I drown myself in carnal pleasure? Would Ke Luo lose to some young man of pleasure who’s only after my wallet? I had no need to support those money-sucking, first-cla.s.s, young men. How could the money I earn be insufficient? Wasn’t I living my days with ease and security?
In comparison, those kinds of money could be used as toilet paper. It may well be an extravagant luxury, but it"s a fierce battle that could spiral you down into a dismal life. It no longer had that much of an appeal.
If it was Ke Luo, I could really curb my interest, perhaps.
I turned to smile at Tong Shan. “Hearing you say so, this is something big.”
Tong Shan laughed. “Of course it is. First give it some thought. No hurry, no hurry.”
Upon returning, I tossed and turned as I agonized over it. It tormented me overnight.
I believe I should meet Shu Nian once. There was nothing to be afraid of.
I should know the differences were between us. Would I be able to win against him? What were the odds of winning after all?
Sometimes I couldn’t help imagining what kind of man he was after all, which made it difficult for me to sleep the whole night. Torturing myself with my imagination, I might as well be more clear-cut.
Some things are more difficult to constantly avoid than to confront it face to face.
I browsed through Ke Luo’s cell. Shu Nian’s number was easy to find. It was the first contact in the directory. There was both home address and business address.
I couldn’t wait until the weekend. I directly requested the afternoon off and went to the airport on my own.
When I went, I still had about seven, eight points out of ten in self-confidence. However much more stubborn Ke Luo became, at least he took the initiative to come to me. He was still a child when he had fallen in love with Shu Nian. He’d now grown up, and we had been together for a long while. One day Shu Nian will fade from his memory.
Regardless of what background Shu Nian had, he wasn’t worthy for me to regard as a serious contender. What big scene hadn’t I encountered?
Yet I couldn’t control my tension. Despite how I adjusted my seat, I still felt uncomfortable. When the plane took off from the runway, I was airsick for the first time ever.
Getting off the plane, I was still disoriented and greatly nauseous. I bitterly dialed the number. After a couple long rings, the call was answered.
“h.e.l.lo? May I ask who’s calling?”
It was my first time hearing this man speak. His voice was soft. My heart, however, started to pound.
For some reason, it felt incredibly unrealistic. I vaguely felt very strange. I calmed down before opening my mouth, becoming unexpectedly polite. “I’m a colleague of Ke Luo. I came here on business and helped him deliver some things for you.”
“Ah,” he hastily expressed his appreciation, “thank you. Then when and where would it be convenient for us to meet?”
I forced in a breath. “I’ll go to your company.”
I didn’t want to arrange to meet him at a café like a date.
The rising and falling of the elevator, which I had long been accustomed to, unexpectedly made me somewhat uncomfortable once again. When I got off, my face was already pale white. Unfortunately, I still had to go through a long corridor.
The moment I thought that he may be able to see, from inside the office, me walking, I felt that even my pace wasn’t very right.
Upon seeing Shu Nian’s nameplate hung from the office door, I took a couple breaths and tidied my hair.
I had to make every effort in creating the most flawless image to battle with him.
All of a sudden, the door flew open from the inside, giving me a fright. The man who walked out was quite tall and handsome. He had an air of n.o.bility. He was basically going to win against me. I suffered a severe blow and instantly froze at the doorway.
The man was also startled for a moment. He studied me for a while. Seeing my hesitant face, he became more wary. “You looking for someone?”
A familiar voice called out from inside, “Ah, Xie Yan, it should be my guest, right?”
The man gave out an “oh” and let go of the door handle. As if there was something he needed to do, he smiled and turned away, walking off. I let out a breath of relief. So he wasn’t Shu Nian after all.
Like I’d said, if Shu Nian looked that willful and strong, would it actually be him who’s pushing down Ke Luo? Or would it be Ke Luo pushing him down?
“You should be Mr. Lee. Please come in and sit.”
I cleared my throat and stepped inside. So this man is Shu Nian. I stared at him somewhat stiffly.
A clean face, delicate features, clear black and white eyes. Without speaking, he still expressed a smiling face. He was completely different from what I had imagined.
He was pretty much just a little better looking than the average person. He wasn’t as handsome as me at all. Not the slightest bit. He basically had nothing to win against me.
We both faced each other. I stopped dead in my tracks, I was temporarily unable to move. He also looked at me with some surprise.
“Ah, so you’re Mr. Lee?” he said out of sheer amazement. Then, he smiled a bit happily. “Come on, sit down. Drink some tea first? You must be tired after getting off the plane.”
I reluctantly forced myself to sit down on the sofa and handed over the ginseng tea I had casually bought. I could only feel the throbbing pain in the back of my head.
“You’ve taken the effort to specifically stop by.” He was somewhat apologetic as he took the ginseng tea. He gazed at me with a look that was actually quite happy. “You’re that uncle of Xiao Luo then. He’s mentioned you to me before. I didn’t see you last time I was there. I didn’t expect you to be this young.”
I rigidly moved the corner of my mouth. Consider it as smiling back.
Close up, I could see his graceful, friendly face, some strands of his hair softly drooped down the front of his forehead, slender eyebrows, gently curved eyes, a straight nose. That was an arc I was intensely proud of.
“Xiao Luo is very sensible. He’s just childish at times. I’ll trouble you to be more tolerant. He says that he always upsets you. Looking after him, if he doesn’t listen, don’t be modest with him. Feel free to teach him a lesson…”
Upon mentioning Ke Luo, Shun Nian rambled on a great deal. I quietly listened. I just had nothing to say.
I had already forgotten the words I had wanted to say coming here. There wasn"t any need for it.
Sitting for a while, I didn’t say even a word. My face was stiff. Shu Nian, however, seemed to have a favorable impression of me and was familiar with me. “You’re here on a business trip, so when are you going back to T city? Let’s have dinner together. I also know your taste-”
“No need. I’m leaving soon.”
“Ah?” Shu Nian was surprised. “Didn’t you just arrive?”
I forced a smile. My heart suddenly ached a bit. “Please excuse me.”
I didn’t want him to be Shu Nian. His appearance wasn’t as strong mine. Moreover, he was weaker than me. No need to mention his build. His taste couldn’t meet with mine.
His look wasn’t the one in a million I had expected. Instead, it was the type that made me most unable to score a victory.
The plane soon landed in T city. I called a taxi to go directly home. The sky had already darkened and the city lights were on. It was late and a little cool. Walking on the road, I felt slightly chilly.
The pride I had when I had gone off stayed there. I didn’t bring it back.
I wearily pushed open the door. The lights were still on. I took off my coat and headed toward the sofa to sit and light a cigarette.
“Uncle Lee.”
Ke Luo was actually here.
I gave out an “uh-huh.” I just wanted to sleep. I closed my eyes, not looking at him.
“I brought you dinner. Didn’t you request the afternoon off, saying you weren’t feeling well. Why didn’t you stay at home and rest? Where did you go?”
I opened my eyes and concentrated on smoking the cigarette. “I went to see Shu Nian.”
Ke Luo was taken aback.
I inhaled a couple mouthfuls and exhaled the remaining white smoke. I felt somewhat disgusted. “Didn’t you say that you’ve no idea why you only want to sleep with me? I know. Let me tell you then.”
I threw the cigarette b.u.t.t on the carpet. It was grounded out with my toes, but it still burnt a hole. I scoffed.
“Similar in looks. When doing it, you’d feel it more, right?”
That man’s face was too much like mine. It couldn’t be any clearer for those who could see. No wonder Lu Feng entrusted him to me. Even he understood my use.
Everybody knew what I was. Only I alone didn’t know.
I couldn’t figure out where I had found the strength to go find Shu Nian for a showdown. I could die laughing.
Even if he knew about the physical relationship between Ke Luo and me, he probably felt an unparalleled satisfaction upon seeing me. Even the criterion for choosing a partner to vent out his desire was so touching. Such infatuation.
Directing at Ke Luo’s face, I swore out, “f.u.c.k you.”
Not only did I feel humiliated from being used as a subst.i.tute, I’d also given up hope.
Translator"s comment:
Oh, gosh, Lee finally confronts Shu Nian, and it"s far from what he had imagined.
We see Ke Luo"s love growing--it"s not just Lee"s wishful thinking. You see Ke Luo"s pain when Lee tries to distance himself from him, his jealousy and possessiveness when he encounters Lee with another, and his concern when he offers to cover up for Lee. Ke Luo apparently thinks a lot about Lee when he"s with him. And when he"s not with Lee? Shu Nian seems to know a lot about Lee, even to the point of knowing his taste in food. Ehh, that must mean Ke Luo talks a lot about Lee when he"s with Shu Nian.
We"ll see in the next chapter what Ke Luo"s reaction to Lee"s new discovery regarding Shu Nian is! D8