"I have nothing to say to you." She turned back to her soup and took a sip, calm as a nun.
"Baby, we need to talk."
She jumped out of her chair. "Don"t you call me that. Don"t you ever call me that, you big, stupid jerk. Get out of here. I said I don"t want to talk to you." She ran out of the kitchen into her bedroom, Ace at her heels. The door slammed behind them.
Dale turned to Love, his c.o.c.ky expression replaced by one of boyish panic. "Do something! Make her . . ." He stood there with his unfinished sentence, his long arms dangling at his side.
"I can"t make her do anything," she said calmly. "I can ask her if she"ll talk to you."
"Please, ma"am," he said, sounding like a ten-year-old.
She inhaled deeply and said, "Go outside and sit in the backyard."
"Thanks," he said, relieved.
She pointed to the kitchen"s back door. "You can reach the yard through there. Stay out there until I come get you."
"Yes, ma"am."
Dollars to donuts he"s his mama"s favorite, she thought. Probably an only son or the youngest-his mama"s sweet baby. He was way too willing to let someone else step in and take care of his problems.
She rapped softly on Rett"s door. "Can I come in?"
"Okay," she said.
Love opened the door and found Rett sitting on the floor next to her bed, her arms encircling Ace"s squat body. He looked as if he were laughing to himself, which Love thought he must often do while he observed the nutty humans trying to maneuver their way-too-complicated relationships.
"Are you all right?" Love asked, sitting down on the overstuffed chair.
"I guess," she said, burying her face in Ace"s fluffy neck. "Is he still here?"
"Yes. He"s out on the patio cooling his heels."
"What"s that mean, anyway?"
"It means to wait for something. It originally meant to cool your feet when they became hot from too much walking. It has been in use since the sixteen hundreds when people were forced to rest after a long walk. I"m a.s.suming they meant the peasants. Kings and queens probably had horses and carriages."
Rett gave a small smile. "How do you know those things?"
"Google," Love said, smiling back. "And I read a lot."
Rett gave Ace a last hug, then stood up and went over to the window, her back to Love. "I wish I didn"t have to talk to him. I wish he"d just go away."
"You don"t have to talk to him. But you do need to give him back his banjo. It"s stealing, Rett. No matter what he did, it"s still stealing."
She didn"t turn around. "I know that. But . . ."
"Rett . . ."
She spun around and threw up her hands. "Okay, okay. I just wanted to mess with his head for a while. I didn"t ever plan on keeping it." Her eyes started blinking, teenage emotional Morse code.
Love wanted so badly to go across the room and put her arms around her. But they weren"t at that point yet. She didn"t think she could have stood the pain of Rett pushing her away.
"You know," Love said, leaning her elbow on the padded chair arm. "If you really want to start a new life, it might be better if you talked this out with him now. Yell, scream, whatever makes you feel better." She gave a half smile. "You might want to stop at actual physical violence. But sometimes it"s better to just move on. You"ll have to eventually make your peace with him. Like it or not, he"s the father of your future niece or nephew."
Rett sat down on the bed and looked down at her hands, studying her long fingers. It occurred to Love that she hadn"t yet heard her granddaughter play or sing. Was she any good? How much did banjos cost? Not a fancy one like Dale"s, but a good one. Magnolia would know. Maybe Love could buy Rett one for Christmas.
"But it"s not fair," she said.
Love felt like laughing and crying at the same time. "Sweet Pea, life isn"t fair. It just . . . is. But things even out. You"ll be happy again. I promise."
Rett looked over at Love, her eyes red-rimmed. This time Love couldn"t help herself. She went over, sat next to her granddaughter and put her arms around her. Rett laid her head on Love"s shoulder. Love could smell the flowery scent of her hair. Her heart throbbed with sadness, wishing she could take her granddaughter"s pain into her own body.
Rett pulled away. Sniffing loudly, she went over to the dresser, grabbed a wad of tissue and blew her nose. "I"m going to tell him exactly what I think of him. Then I"ll give him his stupid banjo."
"Wise plan," Love said, standing up. "Can I say something to you as a sort of writer to another writer?"
Rett looked at her warily, then nodded.
"This hurts, I know. But suffering is often what spurs on our most creative moments. Think about the song "Crazy." I imagine Willie Nelson had to be rejected by someone he really cared about before he could write that song. And I don"t think Patsy Cline could have sung it quite the way she did without going through some real heartache of her own."
Rett"s eyes held Love"s, then she nodded and squared her shoulders before walking out to the backyard. Love resisted spying on them and went into the kitchen to wash the lunch dishes. A little while later, they came through the back door.
"We"re going for a drive," Rett said.
Love almost protested, not wanting to let Rett go anywhere with this irresponsible young man. But Rett was eighteen, and Love couldn"t stop her.
"No worries, Grandma," Rett said, grabbing her backpack. "I"ll be fine. We won"t be long."
Love looked over at Dale, standing in the doorway looking sheepish. She pointed a finger at him. "I have your number, young man. And so does my friend, the judge. So help me G.o.d, if you harm a-"
"I won"t, Mrs. Johnson. I swear, ma"am. I know you have friends who can-"
"Yes, I do," she said, trying to sound fierce. "And they would. At the drop of a hat." She hoped her vague warning sounded threatening rather than like dialogue from a Sopranos episode.
Without a backward glance, Rett walked away with him. Ace and Love stood on the front porch and watched them drive away.
She hadn"t been back inside the house three minutes when she heard the sound of tinkling music. Rett"s cell phone lay on the kitchen counter being recharged. Now Love was really nervous. How would Rett call for help if she needed it? Love picked it up and hit the green Answer b.u.t.ton.
"Rett? Is that you?" a young woman asked.
"I"m sorry, Rett isn"t here right now. Can I take a message?" She should have let it go to voice mail.
"Grandma Love?"
Her heart leapt like a dancing trout. "Patsy?"
"Grandma? Is that you?" Her voice sounded like Rett"s, but didn"t. It was higher, softer, a soprano rather than the alto Love suspected Rett was.
"It is. It"s so good to hear your voice. How are you?" Thank goodness Rett used some of the money Love gave her yesterday to buy more minutes.
There was a moment of silence. "I"ve been . . . better."
"I know, honey. This must be so hard for you."
A strangled sob came over the phone. "Mom"s really mad and I don"t know where Dale is and I"m so scared." In the background, Love could hear music playing and the murmur of people talking.
"Are you at home?"
"No, I"m at Starbucks with my girlfriend, Liz. Mom is about to drive me insane with wanting to talk every minute about what we should do. I just couldn"t take it anymore."
Love didn"t envy what Karla was going through. One heartbroken daughter on the lam with stolen goods, one daughter pregnant, with the same man responsible for both problems. Did Karla know about Dale yet? "What can I do to help you?"
She sighed. "Nothing, I guess. I mean, it"s Rett I need to talk to. If you could tell her to call me the minute she gets back, I"d sure appreciate it. Tell her . . ." There was a pause. "Tell her I know about Dale and her. Tell her we have to talk."
"Okay," Love said, hating that she had the information that would set Patsy"s mind at ease, at least temporarily. Knowing where Dale was and keeping it from her seemed unkind. But was it Love"s place to tell her?
She made a sudden decision that she hoped she wouldn"t regret later. "Patsy, this might not be my place to tell you . . ." She paused. "Dale is here. Rett took his banjo when she left, and he came after it. They are out talking now. I thought you should know." Rett and Patsy would both probably hate her, but at least everything was out in the open now.
Patsy sighed again. "I figured as much when he wouldn"t answer his cell. I mean, he did once, when I texted him. He said don"t worry, that he had something to take care of, that he"d text me soon. That was two days ago, and I"ve called and texted him, like, thirty times."
Love didn"t know what to say to Patsy. This was a horrible situation, one that would, undoubtedly, taint her and Rett"s relationship forever. She made a vow to go see Rocky. They all definitely needed a wise and impartial view on all this. "Patsy, I wish I had some advice for you, but I"ll be honest, I don"t know what to tell you. Do you love this Dale? Is there any chance for a . . ." She wanted to say marriage, but these days that wasn"t always the first thing people did when the woman became pregnant. But, shoot, that"s what Love meant. "Any chance you and this boy will get married?"
"I love him," she said. "I think . . . I thought he loved me. He said he did." Another sob choked her. "But he probably said that to Rett too."
"Sounds like it," Love said.
"I don"t know what to do."
Love sure didn"t know what to tell her, so she decided to just keep asking questions. "How"s your mother doing?"
"She"s crazy," Patsy said. "I"ve totally disappointed her. She"s told me that at least a hundred times in the last two days. She"s all bent out of shape about her and Roy too. Can you believe he went on a business trip to Orlando and called her from the hotel, said when he got back he was going to move into an apartment he"d rented. It"s one of those ones where single people live-big pool, clubhouse, weight room. He said he was sick of her history . . . history . . ." She stuttered on the word.
"Histrionics?"
"Yeah, that"s what he said."
Poor Karla. Even with the grudge Love held against her, she couldn"t imagine what she must be going through right now. Love hoped she had friends she could lean on. "Patsy, all I can say is the same thing I told Rett. Things will work out. I know everything seems overwhelming now, but the best thing a person can do when that happens is just take care of each day as it comes. You have another life to think about right now, so make sure every day you do what you can to protect your baby."
Patsy was quiet a moment. "I guess I can"t make Dale come back or help my mom"s marriage or, you know, change what has happened. But what can I do?"
"You can make sure you eat three good meals a day. You can take a nap whenever you can. Drink a gla.s.s of milk. Take vitamins."
"I can do all that," she whispered.
"How far along are you?"
"I don"t know. Maybe two months?"
"You should see a doctor. Do you need money? I can send some money."
Then Patsy started to cry.
"Oh, honey," Love said, wishing she could transport herself through the phone wires. "I didn"t mean to make you cry."
"It"s not that," she said through her sobs. "It"s just that"s the nicest thing someone"s said to me in weeks."
"Do you have someone you can go to besides your mama who can help you find a doctor?"
"Yes. My friend Liz"s mom is pretty cool. She said she"d help me. I"ve known her since I was fourteen. She"s a psychologist. She goes to our church."
"Then don"t be afraid to accept her help. I"ll send you a check today, and we"ll keep in touch. This will all work out, even with your mama. She"ll come around eventually."
"No," Patsy said, her voice taking on a hard edge. "She won"t ever forgive me. I ruined her plans."
Love almost said, yes, she will, but then realized she"d be stating something that she didn"t know to be true. Maybe Karla never would forgive Patsy. Love didn"t have any idea. But she did know one thing for sure. "She"ll always love you, Patsy. She might not be able to show it, and it might not be in the way that you"ll always need, but she"ll always love you. And she loves that baby inside you. You"ll see once she or he is born."
"Maybe," she said, not convinced. Someone in the background spoke to her, though Love couldn"t understand the words."I gotta go, Grandma. Liz has a dentist appointment. Thanks for listening. Can we, like, talk again?"
"Absolutely. I"ll tell Rett you called. And take Liz"s mom up on her offer. Call me if you need to talk. Do you have my number?"
Patsy took it and promised she"d call. Love took down the friend"s address and said she"d mail her a check. "Take care of yourself, Patsy."
"Yes, ma"am. Thank you."
"Well," Love said to Ace after putting Rett"s cell phone back on the table. "Maybe I handled that halfway all right. What do you think?" She stood there for a moment, wondering what she should do while she was waiting for Rett to come back.
She remembered the digital camera in her denim jacket. She got it out and downloaded the photos from Big Barn on a disc, then printed out the pictures of the colorful Morse code writing. For not the first time, she thanked the Internet fairies for Google. Within minutes she had a site that gave her more information about Morse code than she"d need in a lifetime. For one thing, she had no idea there were Morse codes for other languages. She printed off the traditional one and took it over to her easy chair along with the photos of what she and Mel a.s.sumed was written by August. Even though he didn"t remember doing it, it made sense that it was him, since he"d been a signalman in the navy.
Like a preschool child printing her first alphabet, Love slowly interpreted the message.
"Oh, August," she whispered when she was finished, her eyes soft with tears. "Oh, my dear Pops."
WHERE ME G.o.d LOST WHER ME SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS.
TWENTY-FOUR.
Rett While Dale and Rett drove up Pacific Coast Highway, she pretended that they were together, maybe even married. Maybe on their honeymoon. She knew it was a total fantasy, but she couldn"t help herself. She stared out the pa.s.senger window at the paper-bag-colored hills dotted with patches of bright Kelly green and imagined their perfect life together.
It lasted for about three minutes. Then she remembered that when Dale left, her life would be like the brown parts of those hills. Her grandma said the hills were way greener in the early spring, after the winter and spring rains came. They are so green, Love had said, that it is hard imagining them being any other color. Her grandma said it somehow surprised and amazed her every year. Rett wondered if she"d be here long enough to see what they looked like.