"Who you never hear from, thank G.o.d."
"I have guilt issues from when I was deployed . . ."
"That you"re working through."
I stop and glare at my brother.
"Seems to me," he continues, "that you have a lot of excuses, but I think you"re just scared."
"I"m not scared of a girl," I scoff and then I swallow hard. "Holy f.u.c.k, I"m terrified. This is worse than taking fire in the red zone."
"Yeah, Cara still scares the s.h.i.t out of me," Josh agrees with a grin. "But she"s so d.a.m.n worth it." He sobers, watching me closely. "Are you planning to end it?"
"No," I reply quickly. "I don"t want to end it. I tried to stay away from her for months, and it was torture."
"You need to talk to Seth. This is a small town and word travels fast."
"What have you heard?"
"Just that you two were getting pretty cozy at the bar last week."
An image of Jillian in those f.u.c.king amazing boots, her a.s.s showcased in her tight jeans and that rich, dark hair cascading down her back has my d.i.c.k on full alert. Has it already been a week?
"And," he continues, "I know that you"ve seen her a few times since then. Eventually someone will say something in front of Seth."
"You"re right." I nod and walk back to Lily, who is hanging her head over her stall door, begging for some attention. "I"ll talk to him today. It"s either going to go very well or f.u.c.king horribly."
"I think he"ll be okay." Josh shrugs and offers me a smile. "He likes Jill."
"Thanks, man." My phone rings in my pocket, startling me. "Still not used to carrying this b.a.s.t.a.r.d."
"I"m surprised you do," Josh says.
"I missed some texts from Jill last week. Don"t want to repeat that."
"You"re already whipped." Josh grins as I flip him off and answer the phone.
"Hey, sugar."
"Hi," she replies with a smile in her voice. "Do you and Seth have plans for after school?"
"It"s Friday, but he"s not going to Josiah"s this weekend. I"m sick of sharing custody of my kid with that family."
Jill laughs and my heart tightens in my chest. Josh continues to grin, watching me unabashedly, clearly listening to every word she says, like he used to do when we were teenagers and a girl I liked was on the phone. So I flip him off again, making him laugh.
"Well, why don"t you and Seth meet me at my house and we"ll bake those cookies I promised him?"
"We"d enjoy that. I"ll order in pizza for dinner."
"My hero." She laughs and I can imagine her tucking her hair behind her ear in that way she does that makes me want to lean in and nibble on her earlobe.
"Seth gets out at two thirty. Does that work?"
"Perfectly. I"ll see you then. Bye, handsome."
"Bye, Jilly."
I hang up and turn to find Josh standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a s.h.i.t-eating grin on his face.
"G.o.d, you"re ugly," I toss at him for lack of anything else.
"You look just like me, brother."
"Impossible. I"m much better looking." Josh laughs and slaps me on the shoulder.
"Gonna go bake some cookies?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me suggestively and I punch him in the arm. Hard.
"Don"t be an a.s.shole. My kid will be there."
"Hi, guys!" Jill opens the door wide to let us in. Her cheeks are flushed and her hair is tucked up into some kind of knot on the top of her head. She"s in a red T-shirt and black stretchy pants. She"s barefoot, so I see that her red toenail polish matches her shirt, and I want to scoop her up and make that flush on her cheeks spread all over her body.
But instead of throwing herself into my arms, she ruffles Seth"s hair and smiles at him happily.
"Where"s Thor?"
"In the truck," I reply.
"Why?" she asks.
"Dad said he couldn"t come inside and ruin all of your nice things."
"Nonsense. Thor won"t ruin anything. Go get him."
Seth turns to me excitedly. "Can I, Dad?"
"Her house, her rules." I grin down at my boy as he runs back outside to fetch his pup, then turn and pull Jill into my arms. "Hey, sugar."
"It"s good to see you," she replies with a soft smile. "You did that on purpose, didn"t you?"
"I had to have a reason to get to do this," I reply and lean down to take her sweet lips with mine. G.o.d, she tastes like chocolate and coffee and Jill and I know I could get drunk off her lips alone.
"Okay, Thor peed outside already!" Seth announces as he stumbles inside with the happy dog. "About three times."
"Hi, Thor." Jill greets the clumsy black Lab with ear rubs and a kiss to the head, then motions for us all to follow her to the kitchen after we hang our coats on the coat tree and slip out of our boots. "I put a blanket on the floor for Thor so he"d have a comfy spot."
"Thor is a spoiled dog," I murmur and smile down at her. "And thank you."
"What kind of cookies are we making?" Seth asks as he boosts himself onto a stool at the breakfast bar.
"All different kinds, and don"t get too comfy there, mister, "cause you"re helping." She smiles at Seth and then at me. "We"re all worker bees around here."
"Okay, Sergeant King and Private King reporting for duty, ma"am," I say and stand at attention. Seth follows suit and we both salute her, making her laugh.
"First order of business for both of you is to wash your hands. G.o.d only knows where they"ve been. Especially you." She points at Seth, who laughs as he turns on the faucet.
"Yeah, you don"t wanna know," he says.
"I"m going to slip an ap.r.o.n on," she continues and pulls a white ap.r.o.n over her head and tries to tie it in the back, but her hands get tangled. I turn her away from me and tie the ap.r.o.n strings, then lean down and kiss her cheek while Seth washes his hands.
"You look beautiful," I whisper.
She smiles at me and turns to the countertop behind her. "I"ve pulled out pretty much everything we"re going to need. We"ll start with the sugar cookies, then the chocolate chip, peanut b.u.t.ter, and we"ll do the Chex Mix last."
"Wow." Seth"s eyes are wide as he wipes his hand on a towel.
"I already made the sugar cookie dough because it had to set up in the fridge for a couple hours before we can roll it out." She pulls it out of the fridge and motions for us to follow her to the kitchen table. "Who wants to roll it?"
"Me!" Seth exclaims and listens carefully as Jill shows him how to roll the dough with the rolling pin.
"Zack, would you please grab the cookie cutters over there?"
"Sure thing."
There"s a small mess bag full of at least twenty different cookie cutters in all shapes and sizes. "Let"s do the palm trees," I suggest, holding it up.
"It"s Christmas, Dad," Seth reminds me with a roll of the eyes.
"Starfish?" I ask.
"I"m sensing a theme here," Jill replies dryly. "Looking forward to summer?"
"I"m just teasing," I reply and fish out the reindeer, Santa, and a gingerbread man.
"Go ahead and pull out the beach ball. We can make it into an ornament."
Realizing he"s not going to get sc.r.a.ps anytime soon, Thor moseys over to his blanket and lies down with a loud sigh.
Jill watches Seth roll out the dough, stepping in now and again to give him some tips. Seth is grinning when the dough is ready to be cut.
"I wanna do the gingerbread men."
I raise my brows at him, and he bites his lip then looks over at Jilly and adds, "Please."
"Go ahead." She nods and then steps next to him to show him the best way to position the cutter to get the maximum number of cookies from the dough.
"Dad, are you gonna cut some?" Seth hands me the beach ball with a smile.
"Sure."
Jill takes the soft cookies from us and arranges them on cookie sheets as we cut them, then puts them in her double ovens when we"re done.
"Okay, sugar cookies are done. Next up: chocolate chip."
"My favorite!" Seth exclaims and fist-b.u.mps her. "Can we eat them hot from the oven?"
"Is there any other way to eat them?" she asks in a loud whisper.
Seth laughs and helps her clean up the sugar cookie mess on the table and all I can do is watch silently. My stomach is clenched, my chest aching, and it"s in this moment, as I watch this amazing woman with my son, that I know that I love her.
She"s it for me.
Now I just have to convince her of that.
Jill and Seth return to the kitchen to mix the dough for the next batch of cookies, and I know that this is as good a time as any to talk to Seth.
"You have flour on your cheek," Jill says and rubs the white powder off Seth"s cheek.
"Seth, I have a question for you," I begin softly and join them, pulling eggs out of the carton.
"I didn"t leave the lid off the orange juice again this morning. I promise."
"Not about that." I laugh and tousle his hair and then decide what the f.u.c.k and kiss his head.
"Yuck, Dad. Jill is here."
Jill laughs and pulls Seth to her to plant her own lips on his head.
"There, we"re even."
"You"re both weird." His lips twitch as he fights his smile and he ducks his head, measuring the sugar like Jill showed him.
"I want to ask you what you think about me and Jill dating each other."
Jill"s eyes widen as they whip up to mine and I offer her a rea.s.suring smile.
"I don"t care." He shrugs like it"s no big thing at all and continues measuring.
"Well, I"d like to date Jill, and I want to know how you feel about that."
"Dad," Seth replies with a long-suffering sigh, as though he"s the dad and I"m the kid, "I already know that you and Jill are dating."
"You do?" Jill asks. "How?"
"I"m not stupid. You guys make gross googly eyes at each other all the time." He rolls his eyes and then makes fun of the way we look at each other before dissolving in a fit of giggles. "Plus, if you really got caught at the ranch in the storm a few weeks ago, you would have stayed at Uncle Josh"s house."
This kid is too smart for his own good.
"I don"t want you to be uncomfortable, Seth." Jill frowns as she watches Seth mix the eggs and sugar in the bowl.