"I don"t have anything to add to what you see here, Nadine," she"d said. "This isn"t the time or place for statements. The dead make their own." And when his sister had come home, with that same exhausted look on her face, he"d left her alone.
He hoped now that he"d done so for her sake and not his own. He hadn"t wanted to talk about what she"d seen and done. Hadn"t wanted to think about it. Or about Clarissa. And while he"d been able to control his mind enough to blank out those images of death, he hadn"t had the power to do so with the woman.
She would stay away from him now, he thought. They would stay away from each other, and that was best. He would finish the job he"d promised to do, then he would go back to Arizona. He"d fast and he"d meditate and he"d purge his system of her.
Maybe he"d camp in the desert for a few days, until his mind and heart were in balance again. Then the sounds came through the vent. The angry laugh of the man, the soft pleas of the woman. "I said I want to f.u.c.k. It"s all you"re good for, anyway."
"Please, B. D., I"m not feeling well this morning."
"I don"t give a d.a.m.n how you feel. It"s your job to spread your legs when I tell you to." There was a thud, then a cry sharply cut off. The crash of gla.s.s.
"On your knees. On your knees, you b.i.t.c.h." "You"re hurting me. Please -- "
"Use that mouth of yours for something besides whining. Yeah, yeah. Put some effort into it, for Christ"s sake. It"s a miracle I can get it up with you in the first place. Harder, you wh.o.r.e. You know where I had my c.o.c.k last night?
You know where I had what you"ve got in your whiny mouth? In that new "link operator I hired. I got my money"s worth there."
He was panting now, grunting like an animal, and Zeke squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for it to stop.
But it didn"t, it only changed, with the sounds of Clarissa weeping, then pleading. He was raping her now, there was no way to mistake those sounds.
Zeke caught himself at the foot of the steps, shocked to find his hand curled around the haft of a hammer. The blood was roaring violently in his ears.
My G.o.d, dear G.o.d, what was he doing?
Even as he set the hammer aside with a shaky hand, the sounds quieted.
There was only weeping now. Slowly, Zeke climbed the steps. It had to stop.
Someone had to stop it. But he would face Branson empty-handed, and as a man.
He walked through the kitchen. Neither of the two remote domestics who worked there paid any attention to him. He moved into the wide hallway beyond, past the beautiful rooms and toward the sweep of floating stairs.
Perhaps he had no right to intrude, he thought, but no one, no one had a right to treat another human being as Clarissa was being treated.
He moved down the hallway to the right, judging which room would be directly over the workshop. The door was ajar; he could hear her crying inside. Placing his fingertips against the polished wood, he eased it open.
And saw her curled on the bed, her naked body already blooming with bruises.
"Clarissa?"
Her head came up, eyes wide, and her swollen lips trembled. "Oh G.o.d. No, no, I don"t want you to see me like this. Go away." "Where is he?"
"I don"t know. Gone. Oh please, please." She pressed her face to the tangled sheets. "He can"t be. I just came up the front stairs."
"The side entrance. He uses the side. He"s gone, already gone. Thank G.o.d. If he"d seen you come up..."
"This has to stop." He came to the bed, gently untangled a sheet, and draped it over her. "You can"t let him hurt you this way."
"He doesn"t mean -- He"s my husband." She let out a sigh that ripped at Zeke"s heart. It was so hopeless. "I have no place to go. No one to go to. He wouldn"t have to hurt me if I wasn"t so slow and stupid. If I"d just do what he says. If I -- "
"Stop that." It came out sharper than he"d intended, and when he laid a hand on her shoulder, she flinched. "What happened here wasn"t your fault, it was his."
She needed counseling, he thought. She needed cleansing. A safe place to stay. Both her body and her self-esteem had been battered, and such things harmed the soul. "I want to help you. I can take you away from here.
You can stay at my sister"s until you decide what to do. There are programs, people you can talk to. The police," he added. "You need to file charges."
"No. No police!" She gathered the sheet close and struggled up. Her dark violet eyes were brilliant with fear. "He"d kill me if I did. And he knows people on the force. High-up people. I can never call the police."
She"d begun to tremble, so he soothed. "That"s not important now. Let me help you get dressed. Let me take you to a healer -- the doctor," he corrected, remembering where he was. "Then we"ll talk about what"s next."
"Oh, Zeke." Her breath shuddered out as she lay her head on his shoulder.
"There is no next. Don"t you see this is it for me? He"ll never let me go. He"s told me. He"s told me what he"d do to me if I try to leave. I"m just not strong enough to fight him."
He slipped his arms around her, rocked her. "I am." "You"re so young." She shook her head. "I"m not."
"That"s not true. You feel helpless because you"ve been alone. You"re not alone now. I"ll help you. My family will."
He brushed at her loose and tangled hair, cloud soft under his hand. "At home, my home," he said, keeping his voice a rea.s.suring murmur. "It"s peaceful. Remember how big and open and quiet the desert is? You can heal there."
"I was almost happy for those few days. All that s.p.a.ce. The stars. You. If I believed there was a chance -- "
"Give me the chance." Gently, he tipped her face back. The bruises on her face nearly broke his heart. "I love you." Tears swam into her eyes. "You can"t. You don"t know what I"ve done."
"Nothing he"s made you do counts. And it doesn"t matter what I feel, but what you need. You can"t stay with him." "I can"t drag you into this, Zeke. It"s wrong."
"I won"t leave you." He pressed his mouth to her hair. "When you"re safe, if you want me to go, I will. But not until you"re safe."
"Safe." She barely breathed the word. "I stopped believing I could be safe. If there"s a chance..." She drew back, looked into his eyes. "I need time to think."
"Clarissa -- "
"I have to be sure I can go through with it. I have to have time. Please, try to understand. Give me today." She closed a hand over his. "He can"t hurt me any more than he already has. Give me today to look inside myself and see if there"s anything there worth offering you. Or anyone else."
"I"m not asking for anything."
"But I am." Her lips trembled into a smile. "Finally, I am. Will you give me a number where I can reach you? I want you to go home now. B. D. won"t be back until tomorrow afternoon, and I need this time alone."
"All right. If you promise that whatever you decide, you"ll call."
"I will." She picked up a memo from the bedside table and offered it. "I"ll call you by tonight. I promise." When he"d entered the number, she took it from him, slipped it into the drawer. "Please, go now. I need to see how many pieces I can pick up on my own."
"I won"t be far away," he told her.
She waited until he reached the door. "Zeke? When I met you in Arizona -- when I saw you, looked at you... something inside me I"d thought had died seemed to stir again. I don"t know if it"s love. I don"t know if I have love anymore. But if I do, it"s for you."
"I"ll take care of you, Clarissa. He"ll never hurt you again."
Opening the door and leaving her was the hardest thing he"d ever done.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Eve gave her battered vehicle one long scowl as she strode across the garage. It wasn"t that appearance mattered much. Since Zeke and Roarke had played with it, the heap was back in top running condition. But it was, by G.o.d, a heap.
"It"s G.o.dd.a.m.n pitiful when a homicide lieutenant has to drive around in a wreck like this while those bozos in Illegals get zoomers." She gave the shiny, streamlined all-terrain two s.p.a.ces down from hers an avaricious glare.
"Just needs some body work, some paint, a little new shielding." Peabody opened her door.
"It"s the principle. Murder cops always get the shaft." Eve slammed in her side, a mistake, as the door popped right back open. "Oh fine, great."
"I noticed that little hitch yesterday when I took it home. What you have to do is lift up some, kind of jiggle it and slide it home. Zeke"ll fix it for you first chance he gets. I forgot to mention it to him last night."
Eve held up her hands, took several slow, deep breaths. "Okay, no point in b.i.t.c.hing about it." "But you have such a smooth b.i.t.c.hing style, sir." Eve slanted Peabody a look as she went to work on the door. "That"s better.