SOPHIAHe messed up my hair and started walking forward and I, I took a whole minute to function again, settle my whole body down, to calm the tsunami in my heart and come back to my senses and then I quickly ran to catch up with him.
I caught up with him and we both were walking side by side quietly. Usually I am the one who hammers the wall of awkwardness between us but right now, at the moment, I feel so unfamiliar feeling right in my heart that I think is not explainable .
I feel so nervous right now and my heart is throbbing.
I feel so stupid, I was really staring him and he caught me! He caught me! wh- why did he say that I am gonna fall for him? Why am I gonna fall for him!? and what if I-
"Ouch." I was out of my thoughts the moment I b.u.mp into someone. It was no one but Logan.
"You"re walking like a turtle Sophia." Logan said chuckling.
What"s gotten into him? Why is he acting so different from the usual Logan? Why is he so adorable?
"I-I am not!" I furrowed my eyebrows, showing my anger for no apparent reason as I was frustrated by the fact that he"s guessing things right, I might fall for him if he keeps doing that.
He raised his eyebrows and muttered "okayy" which was barely audible and then ended it with his charming smile.
Sophia you sure are going crazy.
At this moment I just wish for one thing, "Home, please come quick."
"Wanna take a taxi back home?" He asked.
Why does he looks extra cute today?
I nodded my head avoiding eye contact.
He called for an Uber back home. The ride home was silent since I didn"t mutter a single word, nor did he.
"Here comes your destination, sir." The driver said.
We both got out of the car and after logan paid for the drive, the car drove away.
"Wai- the car log the car drove away logan." I said, confused.
"I know, I"ll walk home." He replied.
"Isn"t your home far from here?" I asked, a little concerned.
"It"s alright, I prefer walking." He ended it with a smile of his which is becoming my new favourite thing.
I quickly looked away from him when I felt my heart beating and nodded my head.
"Okay."
"Goodbye then." I waved at him and turned around.
He waved back.
I turned to see him standing and to my surprise, he was standing. I motioned him to go and he just nodded with a smile.
I quickly ran inside and opened the door. I saw him as he faded away into the night.
I sighed heavily.
I straight made my way to my room upstairs and just lied on bed. Thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. My head feels so heavy that i am afraid that my head might explode.
I miss my brother, logan made me happy today, I wish my brother was here, I wish logan was here. It was his birthday today, Logan"s smile is so sweet and adorable.
G.o.d! I CAN"T STOP THINKING ABOUT LOGAN.
I feel so good around him. I mean I feel like like I am me when I am with him. But so nervous at the same time.
And now at times like this I wish I had someone to tell. I wish my brother was here. We"d share this stuff all night long. It"s hard to keep all the feelings stuffed in my heart with no one to tell to. This feeling right inside my heart is so pure and sweet, I want to share it but I don"t have anyone to tell.
Why don"t I write it all down?
I took out a diary from my drawer and sat on my study table.
"Dear diary,
I am not used to of writing a diary. I have never written a diary before but since I have no one to tell what"s going inside my head and I feel like if I don"t share this, my head will explode and so will my heart. So here you go.
today I went out with a friend of mine. I don"t know if I"d call him that though.
Logan. Logan is so good but he doesn"t see it. He"s a reticent person. He doesn"t show, share his feelings. He"s a kind of person you"ll always be curious about like I am. I am always curious of what he"s thinking, what his next action be and what kind of person he is. Beside this all, he kinda makes me feel like no one else. I don"t know how to explain this but I feel different with him. Like my heart feels alive when I am with him. He makes me shy and confident at the same time.
I"ll be honest with you today,
I want to be close to him, I want to know him but now a days I feel so nervous around him. I have never felt this way before with any boy but the more i feel nervous around him, the more I want to be near him. It"s like, I don"t want a lose sight of him.
I don"t know what"s happening to me.
specially after what happened today. I don"t know why I was staring him and the worse part is that he caught me! He thinks I am going to fall for him. Hahahhaha as if! but they way he messed up my hair with his hands. G.o.d, just the thought of him is sending shiver down my whole body. So much warmth in this hands, i wonder how much warmth does he carry in his heart.
I can"t stop my heart from thumping whenever he"s near me, specially now a days. I don"t know what to call this feeling but its kinda distracting me.
I don"t think this is okay, this feeling is new to me and I don"t know if this might hurt me or not so I am going to distance myself from him.
-Sophia
And with that, I dropped my pen and I closed the diary. I sighed and the image of Logan came to my mind.
G.o.d! SOPHIA!
I need to sleep.
I got up and jumped on my bed. I don"t know why but he"s being a distraction for me. What to do now? How do I sleep? I got up from the bed again to switch off the lights and returned to my beloved bed.
I just hope to control my heart when I see logan tomorrow. Try to avoid him and try to stay away from him.
And with that I closed my eyes and tried to keep my mind off Logan.
But it wasn"t helpful since no matter what I thought about, it all came back to Logan.