LoganDays went by and I tried to kept my distance from Sophia. Not that I completed cut her off but I tried my best to not to give her any hope from my side. I disappointed her most of the times and it hurt me more to know beforehand that I was going to disappoint her. Time flew by and we had our winter break. People who were here from another country flew back to their home country to celebrate Christmas with their family. What a beautiful thing it"d be to celebrate Christmas with your family. Liam"s family has been inviting me to Christmas dinner for the last two years when they noticed I spent Christmas alone. Seeing them so happy and laughing on Christmas was just overwhelming happiness. I wondered every time, if I had a family, how would they celebrate Christmas? Would mother cook delicious food and father light up the entire room with his laughter and jokes? Would we be happy? It was the time of the year where everyone enjoyed with their families when I had none.
I decided to take off a few days earlier, before the new year so I could settle in the new environment. So I started buying necessary things and started packing my clothes and other stuff as well. My place was a mess right now, all the stuff out, clothes out of the wardrobe, everything was out of order, and my mind? It was a mess.
No matter how little I tried to think about it, Sophia was all over my mind. Her face kept appearing right before me, making me hesitate about my decision. I didn"t want to leave Liam as well for he has been my one true friend all this time. I feel like betraying them both but it is all for my good only. Both of them became the reason I feel like going on with life, the reason it feels better to breath. I don"t know what I"d have been done without them in my life, specially Liam. Without him, life would be nothing less than a burden to me. He made it feel like a less of the burden it was. He made my life less miserable and more bearable. I don"t know how to thank him for all this.
I decided to tell Sophia when I"m mentally ready and now I think I am. I should let her know. I turned on my phone and texted Sophia.
"There?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want to meet?"
"I am having a family dinner rn."
"Oh."
I was about to throw my phone on my bed, then I received another message," what about tomorrow?"
I thought for a second about should I just forget about it, but I don"t know, if I don"t tell her right now, I"m afraid I"d go without her knowing and I don"t want that to happen. I grabbed my phone, messaged her, "let"s go stargazing tomorrow night then," With that, I turned off my phone, not wanting to see her reply in negatively.
Sophia
I was left astound by his last message. I never knew he was that kind of person. The one who would stargaze. Woahh
Although I am upset with him and his actions lately, I must not miss this opportunity to be with him.
"sure." I replied, With that, I closed my phone and turned all my concentration to my dinner. "How"s life in college, dear? It must be difficult starting college when you don"t know anyone." My aunt asked me. "Oh, it"s been great lately. Yeah it"s a bit difficult to adjust but I"ll eventually do." I pa.s.sed her a smile and she did the same.
"Well I don"t see that boy anymore." My mum whispered loud enough only me to hear. And I instantly knew who she was talking about. "Mumm" I tried to quiet her down.
We finished our dinner, spent some time with each other, chatting and laughing and said our farewells to everyone. Sitting in our car, I plugged in my earphones and turned the music on and thought about tomorrow. Tomorrow. A day yet to come, it might bring me happiness or it might bring me misery. Above all, I"ll get to see Logan. I hope I get the answer why he has been avoiding me lately. I never asked him that because I know he might have some reasons to do so. I tried to understand him. I tried to think from his point of view. I wanted to be the one on his side even if the whole world is against him but no matter how much I tried to understand him, telling myself that he might have some reasons, I just couldn"t get the answers. I couldn"t see the reason behind avoiding me and actions so strange lately.
The moment we got home, I went upstairs to my room and got changed into a sweatshirt and a pyjama. I threw myself on the bed and tried to distract myself by watching one of my favourite shows but no matter where my mind lingered to, it always find its way to Logan.
I even wanted to ask Liam, what was on with Logan but I just couldn"t do so in hope that he might come one day and confesses why he did that. I wanted to hear it from himself and not from another source. I wanted to hear why he distanced himself from me. Was I not worth his time? Did I do anything wrong? Where did it all go wrong? But patience held me it"s hostage, telling me that I might hear from him one day.
And that day was tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to ask him what"s the matter with him. Tomorrow will be the day I"ll bombard him with questions and he"ll has to answer every single one of it. Everything. But I wish, I wish tomorrow brings me contentment rather than pain.
With holding that hope in my hand, I tried my best to get all the mess out of my head and slowly drifted off to sleep.