Just previous to the fall of Vicksburg a self-const.i.tuted committee, solicitous for the _morale_ of our armies, took it upon themselves to visit the President and urge the removal of General Grant.
In some surprise Mr. Lincoln inquired, "For what reason?"
"Why," replied the spokesman, "he drinks too much whisky."
"Ah!" rejoined Mr. Lincoln, dropping his lower lip. "By the way, gentlemen, can either of you tell me where General Grant procures his whisky? because, if I can find out, I will send every general in the field a barrel of it!"
A "Pretty Tolerable Respectable Sort of a Clergyman."
Some one was discussing in the presence of Mr. Lincoln the character of a time-serving Washington clergyman. Said Mr. Lincoln to his visitor:
"I think you are rather hard upon Mr. ----. He reminds me of a man in Illinois, who was tried for pa.s.sing a counterfeit bill. It was in evidence that before pa.s.sing it he had taken it to the cashier of a bank and asked his opinion of the bill, and he received a very prompt reply that it was a counterfeit. His lawyer, who had heard the evidence to be brought against his client, asked him just before going into court, "Did you take the bill to the cashier of the bank and ask him if it was good?"
""I did," was the reply,
""Well, what was the reply of the cashier?"
"The rascal was in a corner, but he got out of it in this fashion: "He said it was a pretty tolerable, respectable sort of a bill."" Mr.
Lincoln thought the clergyman was "a pretty tolerable, respectable sort of a clergyman."
Opened His Eyes.
Mr. Lincoln sometimes had a very effective way of dealing with men who troubled him with questions. A visitor once asked him how many men the Rebels had in the field.
The President replied, very seriously, "_Twelve hundred thousand, according to the best authority._"
The interrogator blanched in the face, and e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed, "_Good Heavens!_"
"Yes, sir, twelve hundred thousand--no doubt of it. You see, all of our generals, when they get whipped, say the enemy outnumbers them from three or five to one, and I must believe them. We have four hundred thousand men in the field, and three times four makes twelve.
Don"t you see it?"
Minnehaha and Minneboohoo!
Some gentlemen fresh from a Western tour, during a call at the White House, referred in the course of conversation to a body of water in Nebraska, which bore an Indian name signifying "weeping water." Mr.
Lincoln instantly responded: "As "laughing water," according to Mr.
Longfellow, is "Minnehaha," this evidently should be "Minneboohoo.""
Lincoln and the Artist.
F. B. Carpenter, the celebrated artist and author of the well-known painting of Lincoln and his Cabinet issuing the Emanc.i.p.ation Proclamation, describes his first meeting with the President, as follows:
"Two o"clock found me one of the throng pressing toward the center of attraction, the blue room. From the threshold of the crimson parlor as I pa.s.sed, I had a glimpse of the gaunt figure of Mr. Lincoln in the distance, haggard-looking, dressed in black, relieved only by the prescribed white gloves; standing, it seemed to me, solitary and alone, though surrounded by the crowd, bending low now and then in the process of hand-shaking, and responding half abstractedly to the well-meant greetings of the miscellaneous a.s.semblage.
"Never shall I forget the electric thrill which went through my whole being at this instant. I seemed to see lines radiating from every part of the globe, converging to a focus where that plain, awkward-looking man stood, and to hear in spirit a million prayers, "as the sound of many waters," ascending in his behalf.
"Mingled with supplication I could discern a clear symphony of triumph and blessing, swelled with an ever-increasing volume. It was the voice of those who had been bondmen and bondwomen, and the grand diapason swept up from the coming ages.
"It was soon my privilege in the regular succession, to take that honored hand. Accompanying the act, my name and profession were announced to him in a low tone by one of the a.s.sistant secretaries, who stood by his side.
"Retaining my hand, he looked at me inquiringly for an instant, and said, Oh, yes; I know; this is the painter. Then straightening himself to his full height, with a twinkle of the eye, he added, playfully, "Do you think, Mr. C----, that you could make a handsome picture of _me?_" emphasizing strongly the last word.
"Somewhat confused at this point-blank shot, uttered in a voice so loud as to attract the attention of those in immediate proximity, I made a random reply, and took the occasion to ask if I could see him in his study at the close of the reception.
"To this he replied in the peculiar vernacular of the West, "I reckon," resuming meanwhile the mechanical and traditional exercise of the hand which no President has ever yet been able to avoid, and which, severe as is the ordeal, is likely to attach to the position so long as the Republic endures."
The American Boy"s Sports Series
BY MARK OVERTON
These stories touch upon nearly every sport in which the active boy is interested. Baseball, rowing, football, hockey, skating, ice-boating, sailing, camping and fishing all serve to lend interest to an unusual series of books. There are the following four t.i.tles:
1. Jack Winters" Baseball Team; or, The Mystery of the Diamond.
2. Jack Winters" Campmates; or, Vacation Days in the Woods.
3. Jack Winters" Gridiron Chums; or, When the Half-back Saved the Day.
4. Jack Winters" Iceboat Wonder; or, Leading the Hockey Team to Victory.
The Aeroplane Series
By JOHN LUTHER LANGWORTHY
1. The Aeroplane Boys; or, The Young Pilots First Air Voyage
2. The Aeroplane Boys on the Wing; or, Aeroplane Chums in the Tropics
3. The Aeroplane Boys Among the Clouds; or, Young Aviators in a Wreck
4. The Aeroplane Boys Flights; or. A Hydroplane Round-up
5. The Aeroplane Boys on a Cattle Ranch
The Girl Aviator Series