She tried to smother the despair that knocked into her. Kai would be gone. Thorne, Cress, Wolf, and Scarlet had already left, and Winter and Jacin would be leaving on their first amba.s.sadorial trip in the next few days, and then she would be alone.
Well, she and Iko would be alone.
She’d been expecting it. She had known he couldn’t stay forever. He had his own country to rule.
“Right,” she said, feigning confidence. “I understand. You’ve been a huge help, you and Konn-dàren. Is … is he leaving too?”
Kai grimaced. “He is. I’m sorry.”
“No. You … you have to go home. Of course you do.”
“You should come visit,” he said, speaking fast. “Soon. It would be symbolic, I think, of the new alliance…” He trailed off and scratched behind his neck, one hand still hidden. “Or I could make up a political dilemma we need to work through if that would help.”
Cinder forced a smile. “I’d like to come visit. I’m … Iko and I are going to miss you.”
“I think you’ll find that being a queen doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for being lonely.”
“We’ll see about that.” Suddenly, it felt awkward to be sitting on her throne while Kai stood below her. She stood and crossed her arms over her chest, drifting toward the balcony ledge. Anxiety was already growing inside her. Two days. Two more days and he’ll be gone.
There was so much she wanted to say to him, and two days wasn’t enough time to get it all out—especially when all the words remained locked up in her throat.
“It’s strange,” Kai said, joining her on the gla.s.s overhang, his gaze fixed on Earth again. “I spent all that time trying to avoid a marriage alliance with Luna. And now that the treaty is signed and the war is over … somehow, a marriage alliance doesn’t sound so bad.”
Her heart flipped. Kai’s gaze danced back to her and then he was smiling in a way that was both bashful and confident. The same smile he’d given her the day they’d met in the marketplace. After a long, awkward moment, he laughed. “You really can’t blush, can you?”
A mix of relief and disappointment rolled through her and she tucked her hands under her arms to hide their shaking. “That wasn’t nice.”
“Only if you think I didn’t mean it.”
Her brow twitched.
“Here, I have something for you.”
“It had better not be an engagement ring.”
He paused, his lips puckering as if the thought hadn’t occurred to him and he was regretting it.
“Or gloves,” added Cinder. “That didn’t work out too well last time.”
Grinning, Kai took a step closer to her and dropped to one knee.
Her eyes widened.
“Cinder…”
Her heart thumped. “Wait.”
“I’ve been waiting a long time to give this to you.”
“Kai—”
With an expression as serious as politics, he pulled his hand from behind his back. In it was cupped a small metal foot, frayed wires sticking up from the cavity and the joints packed with grease.
Cinder released her breath, then started to laugh. “You—ugh.”
“Are you terribly disappointed, because I’m sure Luna has some great jewelry stores if you wanted me to—”
“Shut up,” she said, taking the foot. She turned it over in her palms, shaking her head. “I keep trying to get rid of this thing, but somehow it keeps finding its way back to me. What made you keep it?”
“It occurred to me that if I could find the cyborg that fit this foot, it must be a sign we were meant to be together.” He twisted his lips to one side. “But then I realized it would probably fit an eight-year-old.”
“Eleven, actually.”
“Close enough.” He hesitated. “Honestly, I guess it was the only thing I had to connect me to you when I thought I’d never see you again.”
She slid her gaze off the foot. “Why are you still kneeling?”
Kai reached for her prosthetic hand and brushed his lips against her newly polished knuckles. “You’ll have to get used to people kneeling to you. It kind of comes with the territory.”
“I’m going to make it a law that the correct way to address your sovereign is by giving a high five.”
Kai’s smile brightened. “That’s genius. Me too.”
Cinder pulled her hand away from him and sat down, letting her legs hang over the edge. Her thoughts grew serious again as she stared at the metal foot. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to get your opinion on.”
Kai settled beside her. His expression turned curious, and she looked away, bracing herself. “I think—” She stopped. Gulped. Started again. “I’ve decided to dissolve the Lunar monarchy.”
Pressing her lips together, she waited. The silence became solid in the s.p.a.ce between them. But Kai didn’t ask “Why?” or “How?” or “Are you insane?”
Instead, he said, “When?”
“I don’t know. When things have calmed down. When I think they can handle it.” She took in a deep breath. “It will happen again. Some king or queen is going to brainwash the people, use their power to enslave them … There has to be some division of power, some checks and balances … so I’ve decided to change Luna into a republic, elected officials and all.” She bit her lip. She still felt silly talking politics like she had a clue, and it wasn’t until Kai nodded, thoughtful, that she realized how important his approval had been to her. She swallowed around the lump in her throat. “You think it’s a good idea?”