[ADAMS _returns with_ CHECKLEY.
_Adams._ Mr. Checkley, our "ed coachman, Mr. Undersh.e.l.l. He"s coming in along with us to "ear what you say, if you"ve no objections.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). I must make a friend of this coachman, or else---- (_Aloud._) I shall be charmed, Mr. Checkley. I"ve only a very few minutes to spare; but I"m most curious to see this horse of yours.
_Checkley._ He ain"t one o" _my_ "orses, sir. If he _"ad_ been---- But there, I"d better say nothing about it.
_Adams_ (_as he leads the way into the stables, and turns up the gas_). There, sir, that"s Deerfoot over there in the loose box.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). He seems to me much like any _other_ horse! However, I can"t be wrong in admiring. (_Aloud, as he inspects him, through the rails._) Ah, indeed? he _is_ worth seeing! A magnificent creature!
_Adams_ (_stripping off_ Deerfoot"s _clothing_). He"s a good "orse, sir. Her ladyship won"t trust herself on no other animal, not since she "ad the influenzy so bad. She"d take on dreadful if I "ad to tell her he wouldn"t be fit for no more work, she would!
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_sympathetically_). I can quite imagine so. Not that he seems in any danger of _that_!
_Checkley_ (_triumphantly_). There, you "ear that, Adams? The minute he set eyes on the "orse!
_Adams._ Wait till Mr. Undersh.e.l.l has seen him move a bit, and see what he says _then_.
_Checkley._ If it was what _you_ think, he"d never be standing like he is now, depend upon it.
_Adams._ You _can"t_ depend upon it. He "eard us coming, and he"s quite artful enough to draw his foot back for fear o" getting a knock.
(_To_ UNDERSh.e.l.l.) I"ve noticed him very fidgety-like on his forelegs this last day or two.
_Undersh.e.l.l._ _Have_ you, though? (_To himself._) I hope he won"t be fidgety with his _hind_-legs. I shall stay outside.
_Adams._ I cooled him down with a rubub and aloes ball, and kep "im on low diet; but he don"t seem no better.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). I didn"t gather the horse was unwell.
(_Aloud._) Dear me! no better? You don"t say so!
_Checkley._ If you"d rubbed a little embrocation into the shoulder, you"d ha" done more good, in _my_ opinion, and it"s my belief as Mr.
Undersh.e.l.l here will tell you I"m right.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). Can"t afford to offend the coachman!
(_Aloud._) Well, I dare say--er--embrocation _would_ have been better.
_Adams._ Ah, that"s where me and Mr. Checkley differ. According to me, it ain"t to do with the shoulder at all--it"s a deal lower down.... I"ll "ave him out of the box and you"ll soon see what I mean.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_hastily_). Pray don"t trouble on my account. I--I can see him capitally from where I am, thanks.
_Adams._ You know best, sir. Only I thought you"d be better able to form a judgment after you"d seen the way he stepped across. But if you was to come in and examine the frog?-- I don"t like the look of it myself.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). I"m sure _I_ don"t. I"ve a horror of reptiles. (_Aloud._) You"re very good. I--I think I won"t come in. The place must be rather _damp_, mustn"t it--for that?
_Adams._ It"s dry enough in "ere, sir, as you may see; nor yet he ain"t been standing about in no wet. Still, there it _is_, you see!
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). What a fool he must be not to drive it out! Of course it must annoy the horse. (_Aloud._) I don"t see it; but I"m quite willing to take your word for it.
_Adams._ I don"t know how you can _expect_ to see it, sir, without you look inside of the "oof for it.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). It"s not alive--it"s something _inside_ the hoof. I suppose I ought to have known that. (_Aloud._) Just so; but I see no necessity for looking inside the hoof.
_Checkley._ In course he don"t, or he"d ha" looked the very fust thing, with all his experience. I "ope you"re satisfied _now_, Adams?
_Adams._ I can"t say as I am. I say as no man can examine a "orse thoroughly at that distance, be he who he may. And whether I"m right or wrong, it "ud be more of a satisfaction to me if Mr. Undersh.e.l.l was to step in and see the "oof for himself.
_Checkley._ Well, there"s sense in that, and I dessay Mr. Undersh.e.l.l won"t object to obliging you that far.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_with reluctance_). Oh, with pleasure, if you make a point of it.
[_He enters the loose box delicately._
_Adams_ (_picking up one of the horse"s feet_). Now, tell me how this "ere "oof strikes you.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). That hoof _can"t_; but I"m not so sure about the others. (_Aloud, as he inspects it._) Well--er--it seems to me a very _nice_ hoof.
_Adams_ (_grimly_). I was not arsking your opinion of it as a work of _art_, sir. Do you see any narrering coming on, or do you not? That"s what I should like to get out of _you_!
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). Does this man suppose I _collect_ hoofs!
However, I"m not going to commit myself. (_Aloud._) H"m--well, I--I rather agree with Mr. Checkley.
_Checkley._ I knew he would! Now you"ve _got_ it, Adams! _I_ can see Mr. Undersh.e.l.l knows what he"s about.
_Adams_ (_persistently_). But look at this "ere pastern. You can"t deny there"s puffiness there. How do you get over _that_?
_Undersh.e.l.l._ If the horse is puffy, it"s _his_ business to get over it--not mine.
_Adams_ (_aggrieved_). You may think proper to treat it light, sir; but if you put your "and down "ere, above the coronet, you"ll feel a throbbing as plain as----
_Undersh.e.l.l._ Very likely. But I don"t know, really, that it would afford me any particular gratification if I _did_!
_Adams._ Well, if you don"t take _my_ view, I should ha" thought as you"d want to feel the "orse"s pulse.
_Undersh.e.l.l._ You are quite mistaken. I don"t. (_To himself._) Particularly as I shouldn"t know where to find it. What a bore this fellow is with his horse!
_Checkley._ In course, sir, _you_ see what"s running in Mr. Adams"s "ed all this time, what he"s a-driving at, eh?
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). I only wish I did! This will require tact. (_Aloud._) I--I could hardly avoid seeing _that_--could I?
_Checkley._ _I_ should think not. And it stands to reason as a vet like yourself"d spot a thing like navickler fust go off.
_Undersh.e.l.l_ (_to himself_). A vet! They"ve been taking me for a vet all this time! I can"t have been so ignorant as I thought. I really don"t like to undeceive them--they might feel annoyed. (_Aloud, knowingly._) To be sure, I--I spotted it at once.
_Adams._ He _does_ make it out navicular after all! What did I tell you, Checkley? Now p"raps you"ll believe _me_!
_Checkley._ I"ll be shot if that "orse has navickler, whoever says so--there!
_Adams_ (_gloomily_). It"s the "orse "ll "ave to be shot; worse luck!