_Lady Cantire._ Probably they would, Albinia. It is most unlikely that they would care to hear anything more intellectual and instructive than the sound of their own voices.
_Miss Spelwane._ I _told_ Lady Lullington that I was afraid you would think it a bore, Lady Cantire.
_Lady Cantire._ You are perfectly mistaken, Miss Spelwane. I flatter myself I am quite as capable of appreciating a literary privilege as anybody here. But I cannot answer for its being so acceptable to the majority.
_Lady Culverin._ No, it wouldn"t do at all. And it would be making this young man so _much_ too conspicuous.
_Lady Cantire._ You are talking nonsense, my dear. When you are fortunate enough to secure a celebrity at Wyvern, you can"t make him _too_ conspicuous. I never knew that Laura Lullington had any taste for literature before, but there"s something to be said for her suggestion--if it can be carried out; it would at least provide a welcome relief from the usual after-dinner dullness of this sort of gathering.
_Miss Spelwane._ Then--would _you_ ask him, Lady Cantire?
_Lady Cantire._ I, my dear? You forget that _I_ am not hostess here.
My sister-in-law is the proper person to do that.
_Lady Culverin._ Indeed I couldn"t. But perhaps, Vivien, if you liked to suggest it to him, he might----
_Miss Spelwane._ I"ll try, dear Lady Culverin. And if my poor little persuasions have no effect, I shall fall back on Lady Cantire, and then he _can"t_ refuse. I must go and tell dear Lady Lullington--she"ll be so pleased! (_To herself, as she skims away._) I generally _do_ get my own way. But I mean him to do it to please _Me_!
_Lady Cantire_ (_to herself_). I must say that girl is very much improved in manner since I last saw anything of her.
_Mrs. Chatteris_ (_a little later, to_ Lady MAISIE). Have you heard what a treat is in store for us? That delightful Mr. Spurrell is going to give us a reading or a recitation, or something, from his own poems; at least Miss Spelwane is to ask him as soon as the men come in. Only _I_ should have thought that he would be much more likely to consent if _you_ asked him.
_Lady Maisie._ Would you? I"m sure I don"t know why.
_Mrs. Chatteris_ (_archly_). Oh, he took me in to dinner, you know, and it"s quite wonderful how people confide in me, but I suppose they feel I can be trusted. He mentioned a little fact, which gave me the impression that a certain fair lady"s wishes would be supreme with him.
_Lady Maisie_ (_to herself_). The wretch! He _has_ been boasting of my unfortunate letter! (_Aloud._) Mr. Spurrell had no business to give you any impression of the kind. And the mere fact that I--that I happened to admire his verses----
_Mrs. Chatteris._ Exactly! Poets" heads are so easily turned; and, as I said to Captain Thicknesse----
_Lady Maisie._ Captain Thicknesse! You have been talking about it--to _him_!
_Mrs. Chatteris._ I"d no idea you would mind anybody knowing, or I would never have dreamed of---- I"ve such a perfect _horror_ of gossip!
It took me so much by surprise, that I simply couldn"t resist. But I can easily tell Captain Thicknesse it was all a mistake; _he_ knows how fearfully inaccurate I always am.
_Lady Maisie._ I would rather you said nothing more about it, please; it is really not worth while contradicting anything so utterly absurd.
(_To herself._) That Gerald--Captain Thicknesse--of all people, should know of my letter! And goodness only knows what story she may have made out of it!
_Mrs. Chatteris_ (_to herself, as she moves away_). I"ve been letting my tongue run away with me, as usual. She"s _not_ the original of "Lady Grisoline," after all. Perhaps he meant Vivien Spelwane--the description was much more like _her_!
_Pilliner_ (_who has just entered with some of the younger men, to_ Miss SPELWANE). What _are_ you doing with these chairs? Why are we all to sit in a circle, like Moore and Burgess people? You"re _not_ going to set the poor dear Bishop down to play baby-games? How perfectly barbarous of you!
_Miss Spelwane._ The chairs are being arranged for something much more intellectual. We are going to get Mr. Spurrell to read a poem to us, if you want to know. I _told_ you I should manage it.
_Pilliner._ There"s only one drawback to that highly desirable arrangement. The songster has unostentatiously retired to roost. So I"m afraid you"ll have to do without your poetry this evening--that is, unless you care to avail yourself again of _my_ services?
_Miss Spelwane_ (_indignantly_). It is too _mean_ of you. You must have told him!
[_He protests his innocence._
_Lady Rhoda._ Archie, what"s become of Mr. Spurrell? I particularly want to ask him something.
_Bearpark._ The poet? He nipped upstairs--as I told you all along he meant to--to scribble some of his democratic drivel, and (_with a suppressed grin_) I don"t _think_ you"ll see him again this evening.
_Captain Thicknesse_ (_to himself, as he enters_). She"s keepin" a chair next hers in the corner there for somebody. Can it be for that poet chap?... (_He meets_ Lady MAISIE"S _eye suddenly_.) Great Scott!
If she means it for _me_!... I"ve half a mind not to---- No, I shall be a fool if I lose such a chance! (_He crosses, and drops into the vacant chair next hers._) I _may_ sit here, mayn"t I?
_Lady Maisie_ (_simply_). I meant you to. We used to be such good friends; it"s a pity to have misunderstandings. And--and I want to ask you what that silly little Mrs. Chatteris has been telling you at dinner about me.
_Captain Thicknesse._ Well, she was sayin"--and I must say I don"t understand it, after your tellin" me you knew nothing about this Mr.
Spurrell till this afternoon----
_Lady Maisie._ But I don"t. And I--I _did_ offer to explain, but you said you weren"t curious!
_Captain Thicknesse._ Didn"t want you to tell me anything that perhaps you"d rather not, don"t you know. Still, I _should_ like to know how this poet chap came to write a poem all about you, and call it "Lady Grisoline," if he never----
_Lady Maisie._ But it"s too ridiculous! How _could_ he? When he never saw me, so far as I know, in all his life before!
_Captain Thicknesse._ He told Mrs. Chatteris you were the original of his "Lady Grisoline" anyway, and really----
_Lady Maisie._ He dared to tell her that? How disgracefully impertinent of him. (_To herself._) So long as he hasn"t talked about my letter, he may say what he pleases!
_Captain Thicknesse._ But what _was_ it you were goin" to explain to me? You said there was somethin"----
_Lady Maisie_ (_to herself_). It"s no use; I"d sooner die than tell him about that letter now! (_Aloud._) I--I only wished you to understand that, whatever I think about poetry--I detest poets!
_Lady Cantire._ Yes, as you say, Bishop, a truly Augustan mode of recreation. Still, Mr. Spurrell doesn"t seem to have come in yet, so I shall have time to hear anything you have to say in defence of your opposition to Parish Councils.
[_The_ Bishop _resigns himself to the inevitable_.
_Archie_ (_in_ PILLINER"S _ear_). Ink and flour--couldn"t possibly miss him; the bard"s got a matted head _this_ time, and no mistake.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "INK AND FLOUR--COULDN"T POSSIBLY MISS HIM."]
_Pilliner._ Beastly bad form, _I_ call it--with a fellow you don"t know. You"ll get yourself into trouble some day. And you couldn"t even bring your own ridiculous b.o.o.by-trap off, for here the beggar comes, as if nothing had happened.
_Archie_ (_disconcerted_). Confound him! The best b.o.o.by trap I _ever_ made!
_The Bishop._ My dear Lady Cantire, here _is_ our youthful poet, at the eleventh hour. (_To himself._) "_Sic me servavit_ Apollo!"
[Miss SPELWANE _advances to meet_ SPURRELL, _who stands surveying the array of chairs in blank bewilderment_.
PART XVII
A BOMB Sh.e.l.l