"I know you were never happy when you lived here with us. Your father was ever cruel while you tried so hard to please him. He judged you harshly, and I won"t make excuses for him. But he did love you, Ewan. The last words he spoke on this earth were about you."
"Because he didn"t think I could care for myself."
"Nay, that was not what he said."
Ewan looked at her.
"He knew there at the end that he"d been too demanding on all of you. He"d tried so hard to make Lochlan strong enough to be laird, to make Kieran shoulder the burden of family. Braden to stand up to the rest of you so that the lot of you didn"t run over him. Your father wanted me to find Sin and make amends to him for what we"d both done to him and you..."
Ewan held his breath as he waited.
"He wished that he had never let you hear his cruel criticisms. He regretted the times he wounded you with his words. The times he told you you disappointed him. You didn"t disappoint him, Ewan. He was always proud of you."
Tears filled his eyes as he remembered what his father had said to him when he had come home to find Kieran dead.
His father had viciously backhanded him.You disgust me. You stole what didn"t belong to you, and you killed your own brother by doing it. Never again will I welcome you into my sight. You deserve nothing but my scorn .
Embittered and grief-stricken, Ewan had left the MacAllister castle that day and had refused to ever set foot in it again until after his father"s death.
He would never have returned at all had Lochlan and Braden not come after him and told him that their mother needed to see him.
That she was dying of her grief and that if he didn"t return home with them, they would lose her as well.
And so he had come home, ever reluctant, back into their family fold. A missing part that had never really fit.
His mother leaned forward and kissed him on his forehead. "Ihave never blamed you for Kieran"s death, Ewan. Never once. It is you alone who carries that in your heart, and if I could, I would exorcise it from you. I would give up my very soul to bring you peace and happiness."
She brushed a lock of hair back from his forehead. "Nora is a good la.s.s, and she cares for you a great deal. "Twould be a pity to live in a cave when you could just as easily live in comfort with a woman who loves you. But "tis your life for you to make."
She patted him gently on the arm and got up to leave. "Sleep well, my son. If you can."
Chapter 13.
Two weeks later Nora stood outside the kirk, her broken heart pounding in trepidation and pain. She still couldn"t believe that everyone was forcing her to do this.
Her parents.
Ryan.
Most of all, she couldn"t believe Ewan would do this to the two of them.
d.a.m.n him!
Her eyes widened at the involuntary curse. Nay. Not involuntary. She was furious with him. He deserved that and more for his callous actions.
How could he have tossed her aside so easily?
May a pox roast his h.o.a.ry soul!
By now he was probably back at his cave, lying in a drunken stupor, oblivious to the fact that she had ever loved him.
That she would spend the rest of her life pining away for him.
And why should she? He didn"t deserve her devotion. He definitely didn"t deserve her love.
What he deserved was a swift kick to his backside. One that left him limping for eternity, and if she ever saw him again, she would definitely deliver it to him.
And in a few minutes, she would be bound to Ryan for eternity.
She felt ill with the thought.
Even more so at the idea of doing with Ryan what she had done with Ewan. Of Ryan touching her, loving her...
A tear fell down her face.
"Shh," Catarina said from beside her as they waited for her father to lead her up to the kirk. She didn"t know why the gypsies had stayed with them for so long, but she was glad they had.
She needed Catarina"s strength to see this day through.
Lysander had been sent back three days ago to Nora"s father"s southern estate, which rested on the border of England and Scotland.
Pagan had gone farther north, toward the Hebrides, saying there was a matter he needed to investigate.
But he had promised to return in a few weeks and check on her.
And if Ryan didn"t give her the respect she deserved, he had vowed to make a widow of her.
One could only hope Pagan was a man of his word.
Tomorrow Catarina, Viktor and Bavel would leave as well.
Then she would be all alone as Ryan"s bride.
Her stomach sank even more.
Was there no one who could save her from this madness?
She looked up at the sky, praying for some tragedy to befall her. Mayhap she could break her leg on her way to the altar and delay the events...
Nora glanced about the smooth pathway hopefully, but there was no help there, either.
She was doomed.
Catarina patted her arm affectionately. "Ewan will come for you, Nora. I know it."
How she wished she shared her friend"s conviction.
"Nay, Cat. He"s abandoned me. I meant nothing to him when compared with his honor." She spat that hated word. "That is all that matters to him. I just hope it keeps him warm in his old age."
Catarina gave her a knowing smile. "No real man would ever willingly let the woman he loves be touched by another man. He will come for you. Trust me."
It was a nice thought, but Nora didn"t believe it for a minute.
Her father came forward to lead her to Ryan.
Please, let me break a leg or fall down dead.
It was all she could do not to turn around and run, screaming, through the village.
But no matter how distasteful this was, she wouldn"t embarra.s.s her father or herself.
So she walked woodenly toward the crowd that was gathered there to see this living nightmare fulfilled.
Ryan waited with a grim look on his face.
Run, Nora, run.
Her father"s tight grip on her arm was the only thing that prevented it.
"Don"t embarra.s.s me, la.s.s," he whispered under his breath as if he knew her thoughts.
Nora kept her gaze forward, focused on the gathered crowd. Ryan"s plump mother was weeping in happiness. His father looked rather aggravated. The two of them stood off to the side, waiting for the moment when she would become their daughter.
They still didn"t know how much money their son owed.
Not even she could bear to tell them. That was for Ryan to do.
Ryan stood at the door with the priest, but he refused to meet her gaze. He glanced at anything other than her as if ashamed of what he"d done.
And well he should be.
They paused in front of the priest.
Nora locked her legs together, afraid she was going to faint before this could be done.
She trembled as her father pa.s.sed her hand from his arm into Ryan"s hands. It was all she could do not to curl her lip.
Her father publicly renounced his ties to her and moved away from them. He went to stand next to her mother, who watched with misery burning bright on her beautiful face.
Her feelings were mirrored in Nora"s tight belly.
"I"m sorry about this, Nora," Ryan whispered to her. "But I promise I"ll make you a good husband."
Nora"s thoughts whirled at his words and at the memory they evoked.
My wife...
A momentary slice of happiness slashed through her as a glimmer of hope appeared.
Something that just might save her.
Could she have found her reprieve?
Oh please, let this work.
The priest began the ceremony to bind them...
"Do you, Eleanor ingen Alexander of Canmore, take Ryan-"
"Wait!" she said, her heart pounding in fear and excitement. "May I ask a question?"
"Nora," her father"s voice boomed. "This isn"t the time for your curiosity."
She flashed him an impatient scowl. "But "tis an important question, Father.Really important."
Ryan rolled his eyes and gave a long, disgusted sigh. "Best let her have at the asking, or we"ll have no peace from her tongue."
She glared at him and fought down a sudden urge to kick his s.h.i.+n.
"Ask your question, la.s.s," the priest said charitably.
Drawing a deep breath, she spoke. "Can a woman marry one man while being handfasted to another?"
There was an audible intake of breath at her question.
The priest frowned. "Why would you ask that?"
"Nora," her mother said, her tone suspicious, "what are you saying?"
Nora squirmed a bit as she hoped this worked to her benefit. Ewan might not want her, but at least this would save her from being tied to Ryan.
"Well..." she began slowly. "Ewan told everyone that he was my husband while we were traveling."
"Aye," Catarina said, a smile breaking across her face as she caught on to Nora"s plan. "I heard his proclamation myself. He said it proudly before an entire gathering of people."
"Aye," Viktor concurred. He indicated him and Bavel. "We heard it as well. You may check with any person who was there. Ewan made no pretense of hiding it."
The roar of the shocked crowd became deafening.
Ryan"s father decried it as trickery. His mother sobbed uncontrollably.
"And where is this Ewan now?" the priest asked, having to shout to be heard over the cacophony.