She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, because she was so tired her speech was bound to be slurred.
As usual, he seemed to understand without being told. "Just hold on for another hour or so, and we"ll have you safe on board the carrier. You can sleep then."
Without him, though; that fact didn"t need stating. Even if he intended to continue their relations.h.i.+p, and he hadn"t given any indication of it, he wouldn"t do so on board the s.h.i.+p. She would put off sleeping forever if it would postpone the moment when she had to admit, once and for all, that their relations.h.i.+p bad been a temporary thing for him, prompted by both the hothouse of intimacy in which they"d spent the day, and her own demands.
She wouldn"t cry; she wouldn"t even protest, she told herself. She"d had him for a day, for one incredibly sensual day.
He led her down to the small, rocky strip of beach, where the dark bulk of the IBS had been positioned. The other five men were gathered around it in specific positions, each standing with his back to the raft while he held his weapon at the ready, edgily surveying the surroundings.
Zane lifted her into the IBS and showed her where to sit. The IBS bobbed in the water as the men eased it away from the sh.o.r.e. When the water was chest deep on Santos, the shortest one, they all swung aboard in a maneuver they had practiced so many times it looked effortless. Spooky started the almost soundless motor and aimed the IBS for the open sea.
Then a roar erupted behind them, and all h.e.l.l broke loose.
She recognized the sharp rat-tat-tat of automatic weapons and half turned to look behind them. Zane put his hand on her head and shoved her down to the bottom of the boat, whirling, already bringing his automatic rifle around as he did so. The IBS shot forward as Spooky gave it full throttle. The SEALs returned fire, lightning flas.h.i.+ng from the weapons, spent cartridges splattering down on her as she curled into a ball and drew the chador over her face to keep the hot bra.s.s from burning her.
"Drexler!" Zane roared. "Hit those b.a.s.t.a.r.ds with explosives!"
"Got it, boss!"
Barrie heard a grunt, and something heavy and human fell across her. One of the men had been hit. Desperately she tried to wriggle out from under the crus.h.i.+ng weight so she could help him, but she was effectively pinned, and he groaned every time she moved.
She knew that groan.
Terror such as she had never felt before raced through her veins. With a hoa.r.s.e cry she heaved at the heavy weight, managing to roll him to the side. She fought her way free of the enveloping chador and didn"t even notice the hot cartridge sh.e.l.l that immediately skimmed her right cheek.
An explosion shattered the night, lighting up the sea like fireworks, the percussion knocking her to the bottom of the boat again. She scrambled to her knees, reaching for Zane. "No," she said hoa.r.s.ely. "No!"
The light from the explosion had sharply delineated every detail in stark white. Zane lay sprawled half on his side, writhing in pain as he pressed his hands to his abdomen. His face was a colorless blur, his eyes closed, his teeth exposed in a grimace. A huge wet patch glistened on the left side of his black s.h.i.+rt, and more blood was pooling beneath him.
Barrie grabbed the chador and wadded it up, pressing it hard to the wound. A low animal howl rattled in his throat, and he arched in pain. "Santos!" she screamed, trying to hold him down while still holding the chador in place. "Santos!"
With a muttered curse the stocky medic shouldered her aside. He lifted the chador for a second, then quickly pressed it into place and grabbed her hand, guiding it into position. "Hold it," he rapped out. "Press down-hard."
There was no more gunfire, only the hum of the motor. Salt spray lashed her face as the boat shot through the waves. The team maintained their discipline, holding their a.s.signed positions. "How bad is it?" Greenberg yelled.
Santos was working feverishly. "I need light!"
Almost instantly Greenberg had a flashlight s.h.i.+ning down on them. Barrie bit her lip as she saw how much blood had puddled around them. Zane"s face was pasty white, his eyes half-shut as he gasped for breath.
"He"s losing blood fast," Santos said. "Looks like the bullet got a kidney, or maybe his spleen. Get that d.a.m.n helicopter on the way. We don"t have time to get into international waters." He popped the cap off a syringe, straightened Zane"s arm and deftly jabbed the needle into a vein. "Hang on, boss. We"re gonna get you airlifted outta here."
Zane didn"t reply. He was breathing noisily through his clenched teeth, but when Barrie glanced at him she could see the gleam of his eyes. His hand lifted briefly, touched her arm, then fell heavily to his side.
"d.a.m.n you, Zane Mackenzie," she said fiercely. "Don"t you dare-" She broke off. She couldn"t say the word, couldn"t even admit to the possibility that he might die.
Santos was checking Zane"s pulse. His eyes met hers, and she knew it was too fast, too weak. Zane was going into shock, despite the injection Santos had given him.
"" I don"t give a d.a.m.n how close in we still are!" Greenberg was yelling into the radio. "We need a helo now. Just get the boss out of here and we"ll wait for another ride!"
Despite the pitching of the boat, Santos got an IV line started and began squeezing a bag of clear plasma into Zane"s veins. "Don"t let up on the pressure," he muttered to Barrie.
"I won"t." She didn"t take her gaze off Zane"s face. He was still aware, still looking at her. As long as that connection was maintained, he would be all right. He had to be.
The nightmare ride in the speeding boat seemed to take forever. Santos emptied the first bag of plasma and connected a second one to the IV. He was cursing under his breath, his invectives varied and explicit.
Zane lay quietly, though she knew he was in terrible pain. His eyes were dull with pain and shock, but she could sense his concentration, his determination. Perhaps the only way he could remain conscious was by focusing so intently on her face, but he managed it.
But if that helicopter didn"t get there soon, not even his superhuman determination would be able to hold out against continued blood loss. She wanted to curse, too, wanted to glare at the night sky as if she could conjure a helicopter out of thin air, but she didn"t dare look away from Zane. As long as their gazes held, he would hold on.
She heard the distinctive whap-whap-whap only a moment before the Sea King helicopter roared over them, blinding lights picking them out. Spooky throttled back, and the boat settled gently onto the water. The helicopter circled to them and hovered directly overhead, the powerful rotors whipping the sea into a frenzy. A basket dropped almost on their heads. Working swiftly, Santos and Greenberg lifted Zane into the basket and strapped him in, maneuvering around Barrie as she maintained pressure on the wound.
Santos hesitated, then indicated for her to let go and move back. Reluctantly she did. He lifted the chador, then immediately jammed it back into place. Without a word he straddled the basket, leaning hard on the wound. "Let"s go!" he yelled. Greenberg stepped back and gave the thumbs-up to the winch operator in the helicopter. The basket rose toward the hovering monster, with Santos perched precariously on top of Zane. As the basket drew even with the open bay, several pairs of hands reached out and drew them inward. The helicopter immediately lifted away, banking hard, roaring toward the carrier.
There was an eerie silence left behind. Barrie slumped against one of the seats, her face rigid with the effort of maintaining control. No one said a word. Spooky started the motor again, and the little craft shot through the darkness, following the rapidly disappearing lights of the helicopter.
It was over an hour before the second helicopter settled onto the deck of the huge carrier. The remaining four members of the team leaped to the deck almost before the helicopter had touched down. Barrie clambered after them, ran with them. Greenberg had one hand clamped on her arm to make certain she didn"t get left behind.
Someone in a uniform stepped in front of them. "Miss Lovejoy, are you all right?"
Barrie gave him a distracted glance and dodged around him. Another uniform popped up, but this one was subtly different, as if the wearer belonged on board this gigantic s.h.i.+p. The first man had worn a dress uniform, marking him as a non-crew member. Greenberg skidded to a halt. "Captain-"
"Lieutenant-Commander Mackenzie is in surgery," the captain said. "Doc didn"t think he"d make it to a base with such a high rate of blood loss. If they can"t get the bleeding stopped, they"ll have to remove his spleen."
The first uniformed officer had reached them. "Miss Lovejoy," he said firmly, taking her arm. "I"m Major Hodson. I"ll escort you home."
The military moved at its own pace, to its own rules. She was to be taken home immediately; the amba.s.sador wanted his daughter back. Barrie protested. She yelled, she cried, she even swore at the harried major. None of it did any good. She was hustled aboard another aircraft, this time a cargo transport plane. Her last glimpse of the Montgomery was as the sun"s first rays glistened on the blue waters of the Mediterranean, and the sight was blurred by her tears.
Chapter 7.
By the time the transport touched down in Athens, Barrie had cried so hard and for so long that her eyes were swollen almost shut. Major Hodson had tried everything to pacify her, then to console her; he a.s.sured her that he was just following orders, and that she would be able to find out bow the SEAL was doing later. It was understandable that she was upset. She"d been through a lot, but she would have the best medical care- At that, Barrie shot out of the uncomfortable web seat, which was all the transport plane afforded. "I"m not the one who was shot!" she yelled furiously. "I don"t need medical care, best, worst or mediocre! I want to be taken to wherever Zane Mackenzie is taken. I don"t care what your orders are!"
Major Hodson looked acutely uncomfortable. He tugged at the collar of his uniform. "Miss Lovejoy, I"m sorry. I can"t do anything about this situation. After we"re on the ground and your father is satisfied that you"re okay, then where you go is up to you."
His expression plainly said that as far as he was concerned, she could go to h.e.l.l. Barrie sat down, breathing hard and wiping away tears. She"d never acted like that before in her life. She"d always been such a lady, a perfect hostess for her father.
She didn"t feel at all ladylike now; she felt like a ferocious tigress, ready to shred anyone who got in her way. Zane was severely wounded, perhaps dying, and these fools wouldn"t let her be with him. d.a.m.n military procedure, and d.a.m.n her father"s influence, for they had both wrenched her away from him.
As much as she loved her father, she knew she would never forgive him if Zane died and she wasn"t there. It didn"t matter that he didn"t know about Zane; nothing mattered compared to the enormous horror that loomed before her. G.o.d, don"t let him die! She couldn"t bear it. She would rather have died herself at her kidnappers" hands than for Zane to be killed while rescuing her.
The flight took less than an hour and a half. The transport landed with a hard thump that jerked her in the web seat, then taxied for what seemed like an interminable length of time. Finally it rolled to a stop, and Major Hodson stood, plainly relieved to be free of his unpleasant burden.
A door was slid open, and a flight of steps rolled up to it. Clutching the black robe around her, Barrie stepped out into the bright Athens sunlight. It was full morning now, the heat already building. She blinked and lifted a hand to s.h.i.+eld her eyes. It felt like forever since she"d been in the suns.h.i.+ne.
A gray limousine with darkly tinted windows was waiting on the tarmac. The door was shoved open, and her father bounded out, dignity forgotten as he ran forward. "Barrie!" Two days of worry and fear lined his face, but there was an almost desperate relief in his expression as he hurried up the steps to fold her in his arms.
She started crying again, or maybe she had never stopped. She buried her face against his suit, clutching him with desperate hands. "I"ve got to go back," she sobbed, the words barely intelligible.
He tightened his arms around her. "There, there, baby," he breathed. "You"re safe now, and I won"t let anything else happen to you, I swear. I"ll take you home-"
Wildly she shook her head, trying to pull away from him. "No," she choked out. "I"ve got to get back to the Montgomery. Zane-he was shot. He might die. Oh, G.o.d, I"ve got to go back now!"
"Everything will be all right," he crooned, hustling her down the steps with an arm locked around her shoulders. "I have a doctor waiting-"
"I don"t need a doctor!" she said fiercely, jerking away from him. She"d never done that before, and his face went blank with shock. She shoved her hair out of her face. The tangled ma.s.s hadn"t been combed in two days, and it was matted with sweat and sea spray. "Listen to me! The man who rescued me was shot. He might die. He was still in surgery when Major Hodson forced me on board this plane. I want to go back to the s.h.i.+p. I want to make sure Zane is okay."
William Lovejoy firmly took hold of his daughter"s shoulders again, leading her across the tarmac to the waiting limo. "You don"t have to go back to the s.h.i.+p, sweetheart," he said soothingly. "I"ll ask Admiral Lind-ley to find out how his man is doing. He is one of the SEAL team, I presume?"
Numbly she nodded.
"There wouldn"t be any point in going back to the s.h.i.+p, I"m sure you can see that. If he survived surgery, he"ll be airlifted to a military hospital."
If he survived surgery. The words were like a knife, hot and slicing, going through her. She balled her hands into fists, every cell in her body screaming for heir to ignore logic, ignore the attempts to soothe her. She needed to get to Zane.
Three days later, she stood in her father"s office with her chin high and her eyes colder than he"d ever seen them. "You told Admiral Lindley to block my requests," she accused.
The amba.s.sador sighed. He removed his reading gla.s.ses and carefully placed them on the inlaid walnut desk. "Barrie, you know I"ve denied you very little that you"ve asked for, but you"re being unreasonable about this man. You know that he"s recovering, and that"s all you need to know. What point would there be in rus.h.i.+ng to his bedside? Some tabloid might find out about it, and then your ordeal would be plastered in sleazy newspapers all over the world. Is that what you want?"
"My ordeal?" she echoed. "My ordeal? What about his? He nearly died! That"s a.s.suming Admiral Lindley told me the truth, and he really is still alive!"
"Of course he is. I only asked Joshua to block any inquiries you made about his location." He unfolded his tall form from the chair and came around to lean against the desk and take her resistant hands in his. "Barrie, give yourself time to get over the trauma. I know you"ve invested this... this guerrilla fighter with all sorts of heroic characteristics, and that"s only normal. After a while, when you"ve regained your perspective, you"ll be glad you didn"t embarra.s.s yourself by chasing after him."
It was almost impossible to contain the volcanic fury rising in her. n.o.body was listening; no one wanted to listen. They kept going on and on about her ordeal, how she would heal in time, until she wanted to pull her hair out. She had insisted over and over that she hadn"t been raped, but she had fiercely refused to be examined by a doctor, which of course had only fueled speculation that the kidnappers had indeed raped her. But she"d known her body bore the marks of Zane"s lovemaking, marks and traces that were precious and private, for no one else"s eyes. Everyone was treating her as if she was made of crystal, carefully not mentioning the kidnapping, until she thought she would go mad.
She wanted to see Zane. That was all. Just see him, a.s.sure herself that he would be all right. But when she"d asked one of the Marine officers stationed at the emba.s.sy to make some inquiries about Zane, it was Admiral Lindley who had gotten back to her instead of the captain.
The dignified, distinguished admiral had come to the amba.s.sador"s private quarters less than an hour before. Barrie hadn"t yet returned to her minor job in the emba.s.sy, feeling that she couldn"t keep her mind on paperwork, so she had received the admiral in the beautifully appointed parlor.
After polite conversation about her health and the weather, the admiral came to the point of his visit. "You"ve been making some inquiries about Zane Mackenzie," he said kindly. "I"ve kept abreast of his condition, and I can tell you now with complete confidence that he"ll fully recover. The s.h.i.+p"s surgeon was able to stop the bleeding, and it wasn"t necessary to remove his spleen. His condition was stabilized, and he was transferred to a hospital. When he"s able, he"ll be sent Stateside for the remainder of his convalescence."
"Where is he?" Barrie had demanded, her eyes burning. She"d scarcely slept in three days. Though she was once more impeccably clothed and coifed, the strain she"d been under had left huge dark circles under her eyes, and she was losing weight fast, because her nerves wouldn"t let her eat.
Admiral Lindley sighed. "William asked me to keep that information from you, Barrie, and I have to say, I think he"s right. I"ve known Zane a long time. He"s an extraordinary warrior. But SEALs are a breed apart, and the characteristics that make them such great warriors don"t, as a whole, make them model citizens. They"re trained weapons, to put it bluntly. They don"t keep high profiles, and most information about them is restricted."
"I don"t want to know about his training," she said, her voice strained. "I don"t want to know about his missions. I just want to see him."
The admiral shook his head. "I"m sorry."
Nothing she said budged him. He refused to give her even one more iota of information. Still, Zane was alive; he would be all right. Just knowing that made her feel weak inside, as the unbearable tension finally relaxed.
That didn"t mean she would forgive her father for interfering.
"I love him," she now said deliberately. "You have no right to keep me from seeing him."
"Love?" Her father gave her a pitying look. "Barrie, what you feel isn"t love, it"s hero-wors.h.i.+p. It will fade, I promise you."
"Do you think I haven"t considered that?" she fired back. "I"m not a teenager with a crush on a rock star. Yes, I met him under dangerous, stressful circ.u.mstances. Yes, he saved my life-and he nearly died doing it. I know what infatuation is, and I know what love is, but even if I didn"t, the decision isn"t yours to make."
"You"ve always been reasonable," he argued. "At least concede that your judgment may not be at its sharpest right now. What if you acted impulsively, married this man-I"m sure he"d jump at the chance-and then realized that you really didn"t love him? Think what a mess it would be. I know it sounds sn.o.bbish, but he isn"t our kind. He"s a sailor, and a trained killer. You"ve dined with kings and danced with princes. What could the two of you have in common?"
"First, that doesn"t just sound sn.o.bbish, it is sn.o.bbish. Second, you must not think much of me as a person if you consider your money my only attraction."
"You know that isn"t what I meant," he said, genuinely shocked. "You"re a wonderful person. But how could someone like that appreciate the life you live? How do you know he wouldn"t have his eye on the main chance?"
"Because I know him," she declared. "I know him in a way I never would have if I"d met him at an emba.s.sy party. According to you, a SEAL couldn"t be kind and considerate, but he was. They all were, for that matter. Dad, I"ve told you over and over that I wasn"t raped. I know you don"t believe me, and I know you"ve suffered, worrying about me. But I swear to you-I swear-that I wasn"t. They were planning to, the next day, but they were waiting for someone. So, though I was terrified and upset, I haven"t been through the trauma of a gang rape the way you keep thinking. Seeing Zane lying in a pool of blood was a h.e.l.l of a lot more traumatic than anything those kidnappers did!"
"Barrie!" It was the first time her father had ever heard her curse. Come to think of it, she had never cursed at all, until rough men had grabbed her off the street and subjected her to hours of terror. She had cursed them, and meant it. She had cursed Major Hodson, and meant that, too.
With an effort, she regulated her tone. "You know that the first attempt to get me out didn"t quite work."
He gave an abrupt nod. He"d suffered agonies, thinking their only hope of rescuing her had failed and imagining what she must be suffering. That was when he"d given up hope of ever seeing her alive again. Admiral Lindley hadn"t been as pessimistic; the SEALs hadn"t checked in, and though there were reports of gunfire in Benghazi, if a team of SEALs had been killed or captured, the Libyan government would have trumpeted it all over the world. That meant they were still there, still working to free her. Until they heard from the team that the rescue had failed, there was still hope.
"Well, it did work, in a way. Zane came in alone to get me, while the rest of the team was a diversion, I guess, in case things went wrong. He had a backup plan, what to do if they were spotted, because you can"t control the human factor." She realized she was repeating things Zane had said to her during those long hours when they had lain drowsily together, and she missed him so much that pain knotted her insides. "The team was so well-hidden that one of the guards didn"t see Spooky until he actually stepped on him. That"s what gave the alarm and started the shooting. A guard had been posted in the corridor outside the room where they had me tied up, and he ran in. Zane killed him," she said simply. "Then, while the others were chasing the team, he got me out of the building. We were separated from the team and had to hide for a day, but I was safe."
The amba.s.sador listened gravely, soaking up these details of how she had been returned to him. They hadn"t talked before, not about the actual rescue. She had been too distraught about Zane, almost violent in her despair. Now that she knew he was alive, even though she was still so angry she could barely contain it, she was able to tell her father how she had been returned to him alive.
"While I stayed in our hiding place, Zane risked his life by going out and stealing food and water for us, as well as the robe and chador for me. He took care of the cut on my foot. When scavengers were practically dismantling the place around us, he kept himself between me and any danger. That"s the man I fell in love with, that"s the man you say isn"t "our kind." He may not be yours, but he"s definitely mine!"
The expression in her father"s eyes was stunned, almost panicked. Too late, Barrie saw that she had chosen the wrong tack in her argument. If she had presented her concern for Zane as merely for someone who had done so much for her, if she had insisted that it was only right she thank him in person, her father could have been convinced. He was very big on preserving the niceties, on behaving properly. Instead, she had convinced him that she truly loved Zane Mackenzie, and too late she saw how much he had feared exactly that. He didn"t want to lose her, and now Zane presented a far bigger threat than before.
"Barrie, I..." He fumbled to a stop, her urbane, sophisticated father who was never at a loss for words. He swallowed hard. It was true that he"d seldom denied her anything, and those times he had refused had been because he thought the activity she planned or the object she wanted-once it had been a motorcycle-wasn"t safe. Keeping her safe was his obsession, that and holding tightly to his only remaining family, his beloved child, who so closely resembled the wife he"d lost.
She saw it in his eyes as his instinct to pamper her with anything she desired warred with the knowledge that this time, if he did, he would probably lose her from his life. He didn"t want occasional visits from her; they had both endured that kind of separation during her school years. He wanted her there, in his everyday life. She knew part of his obsession was selfish, because she made domestic matters very easy for him, but she had never doubted his love for her.
Pure panic flashed in his expression. He said stiffly, "I still think you need to give yourself time for your emotions to calm. And surely you realize that the conditions you describe are what that man is used to. How could he ever fit into your life?"
"That"s a moot question, since marriage or even a relations.h.i.+p was never discussed. I want to see him. I don"t want him to think that I didn"t care enough even to check on his condition."
"If any sort of relations.h.i.+p was never discussed, why would he expect you to visit him? It was a mission for him, nothing more."
Barrie"s shoulders were military straight, her jaw set, her green eyes dark with emotion. "It was more," she said flatly, and that was as much of what had happened between her and Zane as she was willing to discuss. She took a deep breath and pulled out the heavy artillery. "You owe it to me," she said, her gaze locked with his. "I haven"t asked any details about what happened here, but I"m an intelligent, logical person-"
"Of course you are," he interrupted, "but I don"t see-"
"Was there a ransom demanded?" She cut across his interruption.
He was a trained diplomat; he seldom lost control of his expression. But now, startled, the look he gave her was blank with puzzlement. "A ransom?" he echoed.
A new despair knotted itself in her stomach, etched itself in her face. "Yes, ransom," she said softly. "There wasn"t one, was there? Because money wasn"t what he wanted. He wants something from you, doesn"t he? Information. He"s either trying to force you to give it to him, or you"re already in it up to your eyebrows and you"ve had a falling out with him. Which is it?"
Again his training failed him; for a split second his face revealed panicked guilt and consternation before his expression smoothed into diplomatic blandness. "What a ridiculous charge," he said calmly.
She stood there, sick with knowledge. If the kidnapper had been using her as a weapon to force her father into betraying his country, the amba.s.sador most likely would have denied it, because he wouldn"t want her to be worried, but that wasn"t what she"d read in his face. It was guilt.