She was helplessly fumbling around in the dark with these wild conjectures, and she hated it. It was like being in alien territory, with no signs to guide her. What was she supposed to do? Take her suspicions to the FBI? She had nothing concrete to go on, and over the years her father had made a lot of contacts in the FBI; who could she trust there?
Even more important, if she stayed here, was she in danger? Maybe her wild conjectures weren"t wild at all. She had seen a lot during her father"s years in foreign service and noticed even more when she had started working at the emba.s.sy. Things happened, skulduggery went on, dangerous situations developed. Given the kidnapping, her father"s reaction and now his unreasonable att.i.tude about her safety, she didn"t think she could afford to a.s.sume everything would be okay.
She had to leave.
Feverishly she began trying to think of someplace she could go where it wouldn"t be easy to find her, and how she could get there without leaving a paper trail that would lead a halfway competent terrorist straight to her. Meanwhile, Mack Prewett wasn"t a halfway competent bureaucrat, he was frighteningly efficient; he was like a spider, with webs of contacts spreading out in all directions. If she booked a flight using her real name, or paid for it with a credit card, he would know.
To truly hide, she had to have cash, a lot of it. That meant emptying her bank account, but how could she get there without her father knowing? It had reached the point where she would have to climb out the window and walk to the nearest pay phone to call a cab.
Maybe the house was already being watched.
She moaned and covered her face with her hands. Oh, G.o.d, this was making her paranoid, but did she dare not suspect anything? As some wit had observed, even paranoids had enemies.
She had to think of the baby. No matter how paranoid an action seemed, she had to err on the side of safety. If she had to dress in dark clothing, slither out a window in the wee hours of the morning and crawl across the ground until she was well away from this house... as ridiculous as it sounded, she would do it. Tonight? The sooner she got away, the better.
Tonight.
That decision made, she took a deep breath and tried to think of the details. She would have to carry some clothing. She would take her checkbook and bank book, so she could close out both her checking and savings accounts. She would take her credit cards and get as much cash as she could on them; everything together would give her a hefty amount, close to half a million dollars. How would she carry that much money? She would need an empty bag.
This was beginning to sound ludicrous, even to her. How was she supposed to crawl across the lawn in the darkness, dragging two suitcases behind her?
Think! she fiercely admonished herself. Okay, she wouldn"t have to carry either clothes or suitcases with her.
All she would need to carry was her available cash, which was several hundred dollars, her checkbook and savings account book, and her credit cards, which she would destroy after they had served their purpose. She could buy new clothes and makeup, as well as what luggage she would immediately need, as soon as a discount store opened. She could buy do-it-yourself hair coloring and dye her red hair brown, though not until after she had been to the bank. She didn"t want the teller to be able to describe her disguise.
With cash in her possession, she would have several options. She could hop on Amtrak and go in any direction, then get off the train before her ticketed destination. Then she could buy a cheap used car, pay cash for it, and no one would know where she went from there. To be on the safe side, she would drive that car for only one day, then trade it in on a better car, again paying cash.
These were drastic measures, but doable. She still wasn"t certain she wasn"t being ridiculous, but did she dare bet that way, when her life, and that of her child, could hang in the balance? Desperate times call for desperate measures. Who had said that? Perhaps an eighteenth-century revolutionary; if so, she knew how he had felt. She had to disappear as completely as possible. She would mail her father a postcard before she left town, letting him know that she was all right but that she thought it would be better to get away for a while, otherwise he would think she had indeed been kidnapped again, and he would go mad with grief and terror. She couldn"t do that to him. She still loved him very much, even after all he had done. Again a wave of disbelief and uncertainty hit her. It seemed so impossible that he would sell information to terrorists, so opposite to the man she had always known him to be. She was aware that he wasn"t universally well liked, but the worst accusation she had ever heard leveled against him was that he was a sn.o.b, which even she admitted was accurate. He was very effective as a diplomat and amba.s.sador, working with the CIA, which was of course set up in every emba.s.sy, using his social standing and contacts to smooth the way whenever a problem cropped up. He had personally been acquainted with the last six presidents, and prime ministers called him a friend. This man was a traitor?
It couldn"t be. If she had only herself to consider, she would give him the benefit of the doubt.
But there was the baby, the tiny presence undetectable to any but herself. She could feel it in her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which had become so tender she was always aware of them, and in the increased sensitivity and pressure low down in her abdomen, as her womb began to swell with amniotic fluid and increased blood flow. It was almost a hot feeling, as if the new life forming within her was generating heat with the effort of development.
Zane"s baby.
She would do anything, no matter how Draconian, to keep it safe. She had to find some secure place where she could get the prenatal care she needed. She would have to change her name, get a new driver"s license and a new social security card; she didn"t know how these last two would be accomplished, but she would find out. There were always shady characters who could tell her. The driver"s license could be forged, but the social security card would have to come through the regular administration. Even though social security was being phased out, until it was completely gone, everyone still had to have a number in order to get a legitimate job.
There was something else to consider. It would be stupid of her to live off her cash until it was all gone. She would need a job, anything that paid enough to keep a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. She had degrees in art and history, but she wouldn"t be able to use her own name, so she wouldn"t be able to use those degrees to get a teaching job.
She didn"t know what the job situation would be wherever she settled; she would simply have to wait and see. It didn"t matter what she did, waiting tables or office work, she would take whatever was available.
She glanced at the clock: seven-thirty. Nerves notwithstanding, she was acutely hungry now, to the point of being sick with it. Her pregnant body had its own agenda, ignoring upset emotions and concentrating only on the business at hand.
The thought brought a smile to her face. It was almost as if the baby was already stomping a tiny foot and demanding what it wanted.
Tenderly she pressed her hand over her belly, feeling a slight firmness that surely hadn"t been there before. "All right," she whispered to it. "I"ll feed you."
She showered and dressed, mentally preparing herself to face her father without giving anything away. When she entered the breakfast room, he looked up with an expression of delight, quickly tempered by caution. "Well, it"s a pleasure to have your company," he said, folding the newspaper and laying it aside.
"Some birds woke me up," she said, going to the buffet to help herself to toast and eggs. She fought a brief spell of nausea at the sight of sausage and changed her mind about the eggs, settling on toast and fruit. She hoped that would be enough to satisfy the demanding little creature.
"Coffee?" her father asked as she sat down. He already had the silver carafe in his hand, poised to pour.
"No, not today," she said hastily, as her stomach again clenched warningly. "I"ve been drinking too much caffeine lately, so I"m trying to cut down." That was a direct lie. She had stopped drinking anything with caffeine in it as soon as she suspected she might be pregnant, but it was as if her system was still warning her against it. "I"ll drink orange juice." So far, that hadn"t turned her stomach.
She applied herself to her food, replying civilly to his conversational gambits, but she couldn"t bring herself to wholeheartedly enter into a discussion with him the way she once would have done. She could barely look at him, afraid her feelings would be plain on her face. She didn"t want him any more alert than he already was.
"I"m having lunch with Congressman Garth," he told her. "What are your plans for the day?"
"None," she replied. Her plans were all for the night.
He looked relieved. "I"ll see you this afternoon, then. I"ll drive myself, so Poole will be available to drive you if you do decide to go anywhere."
"All right," she said, agreeing with him because she wasn"t going anywhere.
Once he"d left the house, she spent the day reading and occasionally napping. Now that she had made up her mind to go, she felt more peaceful. Tomorrow would be an exhausting day, so she needed to rest while she could.
Her father returned in the middle of the afternoon. Barrie was sitting in the living room, curled up with a book. She looked up as he entered and immediately noticed how the drawn look of worry eased when he saw her. "Did you have a nice lunch?" she asked, because that was what she would have done before.
"You know how these political things are," he said. Once he would have sat down and told her all about it, but this time he smoothly evaded talking specifics. Senator Garth was on several important committees concerning national security and foreign affairs. Before she could ask any more questions, he went into his study, closing the door behind him. Before, he had always kept it open as an invitation to her to visit whenever she wanted. Sadly Barrie looked at the closed door, then returned to her book.
The doorbell startled her. She put the book aside and went to answer it, cautiously looking through the peephole before opening the door. A tall, black-haired man was standing there.
Her heart jumped wildly, and a wave of dizziness swept over her. Behind her, she heard her father coming out of his study. "Who is it?" he asked sharply. "Let me get it."
Barrie didn"t reply. She jerked the door open and stared up into Zane"s cool, blue gray eyes. Her heart was pounding so hard she could barely breathe.
That sharp gaze swept down her body, then came up to her face. "Are you pregnant?" he asked quietly, his voice pitched low so her father couldn"t hear, even though he was rapidly approaching.
"Yes," she whispered.
He nodded, a terse movement of his head as if that settled that. "Then we"ll get married."
Chapter 9.
Her father reached them then, and shouldered Barrie aside. "Who are you?" he demanded, still in that sharp tone.
Zane coolly surveyed the man who would be his father-in-law. "Zane Mackenzie," he finally replied, when he had finished his appraisal. His darkly tanned face was impa.s.sive, but there was a piercing quality to his pale eyes that made Barrie suddenly aware of how dangerous this man could be. It didn"t frighten her; under the circ.u.mstances, this quality was exactly what she needed.
William Lovejoy had been alarmed, but now his complexion turned pasty, and his expression froze. He said stiffly, "I"m sure you realize it isn"t good for Barrie to see you again. She"s trying to put that episode behind her-"
Zane looked past Lovejoy to where Barrie stood, visibly trembling as she stared at him with pleading green eyes. He hadn"t realized how green her eyes were, a deep forest green, or how expressive. He got the impression that she wasn"t pleading for him to be nice to her father, but rather that she was asking for help in some way, with some thing. His battle instincts stirred, his senses lifting to the next level of acuity. He didn"t know exactly what she was asking of him, but he would find out, as soon as he dealt with the present situation. It was time to let the former amba.s.sador know exactly where he stood.
"We"re getting married," he said, still looking at Barrie, as he cut through the amba.s.sador"s continuing explanation on why it would be best if he left immediately. His steely voice, which had instantly commanded the attention of the deadliest guerrilla fighters in the world, cut through Lovejoy"s stuffy, patronizing explanation.
The amba.s.sador broke off, and a look of panic flashed across his face. Then he said, "Don"t be ridiculous," in a strained tone. "Barrie isn"t going to marry a sailor who thinks he"s something special because he"s a trained a.s.sa.s.sin."
Zane"s cool gaze switched from Barrie to her father and went arctic cold, the blue fading to a gray that glinted like shards of ice. Lovejoy took an involuntary step back, his complexion going from pasty to white.
"Barrie, will you marry me?" Zane asked deliberately, keeping his gaze focused on Lovejoy.
She glanced from him to her father, who tensed as he waited for her answer.
"Yes," she said, her mind racing. Zane. She wouldn"t question the miracle that had brought him here, but she was so desperate that she would have married him even if she hadn"t loved him. Zane was a SEAL; if anyone could keep her safe from the unknown enemy who had her father so on edge, he could. She was carrying his child, and evidently that possibility was what had brought him to Virginia in search of her. He was a man who took his responsibilities seriously. She would have preferred that he cared for her as deeply as she did for him, but she would take what she could get. She knew he was attracted to her; if he wasn"t, she wouldn"t be pregnant.
She would marry him, and perhaps with time he would come to love her.
Her father flinched at her answer. Half turning to her, he said imploringly, "Baby, you don"t want to marry someone like him. You"ve always had the best, and he can"t give it to you."
Squaring her shoulders, she said, "I"m going to marry him-as soon as possible."
Seeing the intractability in her expression, her father looked at Zane. "You won"t get a penny of her inheritance," he said with real venom.
"Dad!" she cried, shocked. She had her own money, inheritances from her mother and grandparents, so she wasn"t worried about being dest.i.tute even if he carried through on his threat; it was the fact that he"d made the threat at all, that he would try to sabotage her future with Zane in such a blatant, hurtful manner, that hurt.
Zane shrugged. "Fine," he said with deceptive mildness. Barrie heard the pure iron underlying the calm, even tone. "Do what you want with your money, I don"t give a d.a.m.n. But you"re a fool if you thought you could keep her with you for the rest of your life. You can act like an a.s.s and cheat yourself out of your grandchildren if you want, but nothing you say is going to change a d.a.m.n thing."
Lovejoy hung there, his face drawn with pain. Anguish darkened his eyes as he looked at his daughter. "Don"t do it," he pleaded, his voice shaking.
Now it was her turn to wince, because in spite of everything, she hated to hurt him. "I"m pregnant," she whispered, straightening her shoulders against any other hurtful thing he might say. "And we"re getting married."
He swayed on his feet, stunned by her announcement. She hadn"t thought it possible he could turn any whiter, but he did. "What?" he croaked. "But-but you said you weren"t raped!"
"She wasn"t," Zane said. There was a soft, drawling, very masculine undertone in his voice.
Their eyes met. Barrie gave him a soft, wry smile. "I wasn"t," she verified, and despite everything, a sudden, subtle glow lit her face.
Her father couldn"t think of anything else to say. He gaped at them for a moment, unable to handle this turn of events. Then a red tide of anger ran up his face, chasing away the pallor. "You b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" he choked out. "You took advantage of her when she was vulnerable- "
Barrie grabbed his arm and jerked him around. "Stop it!" she yelled, her slender body tense with fury. Her nerves had been shredded since that morning, and this confrontation was only making them worse. Zane"s sudden appearance, though it made her almost giddy with happiness, was another shock to her system, and she"d had enough. "If anyone took advantage, I did. If you want the details I"ll give them to you, but I don"t think you really want to know!"
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him if he"d thought he could keep her a virgin forever, but she bit the bitter words off unspoken. That would be too hurtful, and once said, she would never be able to take the words back. He loved her, perhaps too much; his fear of losing her was why he was las.h.i.+ng out. And, despite everything, she loved him, too. Pain congealed inside her as she stared starkly at him, all pretense gone. "I know," she whispered. "Do you understand? I know. I know why you"ve been so paranoid every time I"ve left the house. I have to leave."
He inhaled sharply, shock ripping away his last vestige of control. He couldn"t sustain her burning gaze, and he looked away. "Keep her safe," he said to Zane in a stifled voice, then walked stiffly toward his study.
"I intend to." That difficulty solved, he spared no more than a glance for his departing foe. His gaze switched to Barrie, and a slow, heart-stopping smile touched his lips. "Go get packed," be said.
They were on their way within the hour.
She hurried up to her bedroom and filled her suitcases, bypa.s.sing the evening gowns and designer suits in favor of more practical clothing. The ankle-length cotton skirt she was already wearing was comfortable enough for travel; she pulled on a silk s.h.i.+rt over the sleeveless blouse she wore and let it go at that. Every instinct she had was screaming at her to hurry.
She dragged the bags to the top of the stairs. It didn"t require a lot of effort, they all had wheeled bottoms, but when Zane saw her, he left his post by the door and took the stairs two at a time. "Don"t lift those," he ordered, taking the bags from her hands. "You should have called me."
His tone was the same one he had used in commanding his men, but Barrie was too nervous to fight that battle with him right now. He lifted all three cases with an ease that made her blink and started down the stairs with them. She rushed after him. "Where are we going? Are we flying or driving?"
"Las Vegas. Flying."
"You already have the tickets?" she asked in surprise.
He paused and glanced over his shoulder at her, the dark wings of his eyebrows lifting fractionally. "Of course," he said, and resumed his trip down the stairs.
Such certainty and self-a.s.surance were daunting. Briefly she wondered what on earth she was getting herself into. More and more she was becoming aware of just how much in control Zane Mackenzie was, of himself and everything around him. She might never be able to break through that barrier. Except in bed. The memory zinged through her, bringing a flush to her cheeks that wasn"t caused by rus.h.i.+ng around. He had lost control there, and it had been... breathtaking.
"What time is the flight?" Once more she hurried to catch up to him. "Will we have time to go to my bank? I need to close out my accounts-"
"You can transfer them to a local bank when we get home."
While he carried her bags out to the rental car he was driving, Barrie went to the study and knocked softly on the door. There was no answer; after a moment she opened the door anyway. Her father was sitting at the desk, his elbows propped on top of it and his face buried in his hands.
"Bye, Dad," she said softly.
He didn"t answer, but she saw his Adam"s apple bob as he swallowed.
"I"ll let you know where I am."
"No," he said, his voice strangled. "Don"t." He lifted his head. His eyes were anguished. "Not yet. Wait... wait a while."
"All right," she whispered, understanding slicing through her. It was safer for her that way. He must suspect the phone line was tapped.
"Baby, I-" He broke off and swallowed hard again. "I only want you to be happy-and safe."
"I know." She felt dampness on her cheeks and wiped away the tears that were wetting them.
"He isn"t the kind of man I wanted for you. The SEALs are-well, never mind." He sighed. "Maybe he can keep you safe. I hope so. I love you, baby. You"ve been the center of my life. You know I never meant-" He halted, unable to go on.
"I know," she said again. "I love you, too."
She quietly closed the door and stood with her head bowed. She didn"t hear him approach, but suddenly Zane was there, his arm hard around her waist as he drew her with him out to the car. He didn"t ask any questions, just opened the door for her and helped her inside, then closed the door with a finality that was unmistakable.
She sat tensely during the drive to the airport, watching the traffic buzz around them.
"This is the most privacy we"ll have for a while," Zane said as he competently threaded the car through the insanity of rush hour. "Why don"t you tell me what"s going on?" He had slipped on a pair of sungla.s.ses, and his eyes were hidden from her view, but she didn"t have to see them to know how cool and remote the expression in them was.
She lifted her chin and stared straight ahead, considering the way his suggestions sounded like orders. This wasn"t going to be easy, but he had to know everything. She needed his protection, at least while she still carried his child. He wouldn"t be on guard unless he knew there was a threat. She had to be honest with him. "I want you to know-one of the reasons I agreed to marry you is that I need protection, and you"re a SEAL. If anything... dangerous... happens, you"ll know how to handle it."
"Dangerous, how?" He sounded very matter-of-fact, almost disinterested. She supposed that, given his job, danger was so common to him that it was more the rule than the exception.
"I think the kidnappers may try again. And now I have more than just myself to worry about." Briefly, unconsciously, her hand moved to her lower belly in the instinctive way a pregnant woman touched the growing child within, as if rea.s.suring it of its safety.
He glanced in the rearview mirror, calmly studying the traffic behind and around them. After a moment of consideration, he went straight to the heart of the matter. "Have you notified the FBI? The police?"
"No."