says Miss White, rather wearily.
"What is the matter?"
"Nothing," she answers; and then she looks at the mantelpiece. "No letter from Carry?"
"No."
"Well, I hope you won"t make her an actress, papa," observes Miss White, with no relevance, but with considerable sharpness in her tone.
In fact, this remark was so unexpected and uncalled-for that Mr. White suddenly put his book down on his knee, and turned his gold spectacles full on his daughter"s face.
"I will beg you to remember, Gerty," he remarked, with some dignity, "that I did not make you an actress, if that is what you imply. If it had not been entirely your wish, I should never have encouraged you; and I think it shows great ingrat.i.tude, not only to me but to the public also, that when you have succeeded in obtaining a position such as any woman in the country might envy, you treat your good fortune with indifference, and show nothing but discontent. I cannot tell what has come over you of late. You ought certainly to be the last to say anything against a profession that has gained for you such a large share of public favor--"
"Public favor!" she said, with a bitter laugh. "Who is the favorite of the public in this very town? Why, the girl who plays in that farce--who smokes a cigarette, and walks round the stage like a man, and dances a breakdown. Why wasn"t I taught to dance breakdowns?"
Her father was deeply vexed; for this was not the first time she had dropped small rebellious hints. And if this feeling grew, she might come to question his most cherished theories.
"I should think you were jealous of that girl," said he, petulantly, "if it were not too ridiculous. You ought to remember that she is an established favorite here. She has amused these people year after year; they look on her as an old friend; they are grateful to her. The means she uses to make people laugh may not meet with your approval; but she knows her own business, doubtless; and she succeeds in her own way."
"Ah, well," said Miss White, as she put aside her bonnet, "I hope you won"t bring up Carry to this sort of life."
"To what sort of life?" her father exclaimed, angrily. "Haven"t you everything that can make life pleasant? I don"t know what more you want.
You have not a single care. You are petted and caressed wherever you go.
And you ought to have the delight of knowing that the further you advance in your art the further rewards are in store for you. The way is clear before you. You have youth and strength; and the public is only too anxious to applaud whatever you undertake. And yet you complain of your manner of life."
"It isn"t the life of a human being at all," she said, boldly--but perhaps it was only her headache, or her weariness, or her ill-humor, that drove her to this rebellion; "it is the cutting one"s self off from everything that makes life worth having. It is a continual degradation--the exhibition of feelings that ought to be a woman"s most sacred and secret possession. And what will the end of it be? Already I begin to think I don"t know what I am. I have to sympathize with so many characters--I have to be so many different people--that I don"t quite know what my own character is, or if I have any at all--"
Her father was staring at her in amazement. What had led her into these fantastic notions? While she was professing that her ambition to become a great and famous actress was the one ruling thought and object of her life, was she really envying the poor domestic drudge whom she saw coming to the theatre to enjoy herself with her fool of a husband, having withdrawn for an hour or two from her housekeeping books and her squalling children? At all events, Miss White left him in no doubt as to her sentiments at that precise moment. She talked rapidly, and with a good deal of bitter feeling; but it was quite obvious, from the clearness of her line of contention, that she had been thinking over the matter. And while it was all a prayer that her sister Carry might be left to live a natural life, and that she should not be compelled to exhibit, for gain or applause, emotions which a woman would naturally lock up in her own heart, it was also a bitter protest against her own lot. What was she to become, she asked? A dram-drinker of fict.i.tious sentiment? A Ten-minutes" Emotionalist? It was this last phrase that flashed in a new light on her father"s bewildered mind. He remembered it instantly. So that was the source of inoperation?
"Oh, I see now," he said, with angry scorn. "You have learned your lesson well. A "Ten-minutes" Emotionalist:" I remember. I was wondering who had put such stuff into your head."
She colored deeply, but said nothing.
"And so you are taking your notion, as to what sort of life you would lead, from a Highland savage--a boor whose only occupations are eating and drinking and killing wild animals. A fine guide, truly! He has had so much experience in aesthetic matters! Or is it _metapheesics_ is his hobby? And what, pray, is his notion as to what life should be? that the n.o.blest object of a man"s ambition should be to kill a stag? It was a mistake for Dante to let his work eat into his heart; he should have devoted himself to shooting rabbits. And Raphael--don"t you think he would have improved his digestion by giving up pandering to the public taste for pretty things, and taking to hunting wild-boars? that is the theory, isn"t it? Is that the _metapheesics_ you have learned?"
"You may talk about it," she said, rather humbly--for she knew very well she could not stand against her father in argument, especially on a subject that he rather prided himself on having mastered--"but you are not a woman, and you don"t know what a woman feels about such things."
"And since when have you made the discovery? What has happened to convince you so suddenly that your professional life is a degradation?"
"Oh," she said, carelessly, "I was scarcely thinking of myself. Of course I know what lies before me. It was about Carry I spoke to you."
"Carry shall decide for herself, as you did; and when she has done so, I hope she won"t come and blame me the first time she gets some ridiculous idea into her head."
"Now, papa, that isn"t fair," the eldest sister said, in a gentler voice. "You know I never blamed you. I only showed you that even a popular actress sometimes remembers that she is a woman. And if she is a woman, you must let her have a grumble occasionally."
This conciliatory tone smoothed the matter down at once; and Mr. White turned to his book with another recommendation to his daughter to take some supper and get to bed.
"I will go now," she said, rather wearily, as she rose. "Good-night, papa--What is that?"
She was looking at a parcel that lay on a chair.
"It came for you, to-night. There was seven and sixpence to pay for extra carriage--it seems to have been forwarded from place to place."
"As if I had not enough luggage to carry about with me!" she said.
But she proceeded to open the parcel all the same, which seemed to be very carefully swathed in repeated covers of canvas. And presently she uttered a slight exclamation. She took up one dark object after another, pa.s.sing her hand over them, and back again, and finally pressing them to her cheek.
"Just look at these, papa--did you ever in all your life see anything so beautiful?"
She came to a letter, too; which she hastily tore open and read. It was a brief note, in terms of great respect, written by Sir Keith Macleod, and begging Miss White"s acceptance of a small parcel of otter-skins, which he hoped might be made into some article of attire. Moreover, he had asked his cousin"s advice on the matter; and she thought there were enough; but if Miss White, on further inquiry, found she would rather have one or two more, he had no doubt that within the next month or so he could obtain these also. It was a very respectful note.
But there was no shyness or timidity about the manner of Miss White when she spread those skins out along the sofa, and again and again took them up to praise their extraordinary glossiness and softness.
"Papa," she exclaimed, "it is a present fit for a prince to make!"
"I dare say you will find them useful."
"And whatever is made of them," said she, with decision, "that I shall keep for myself--it won"t be one of my stage properties."
Her spirits rose wonderfully. She kept on chatting to her father about these lovely skins, and the jacket she would have of them. She asked why he was so dull that evening. She protested that she would not take any supper unless he had some too: whereupon he had a biscuit and a gla.s.s of claret, which, at all events, compelled him to lay aside his book. And then, when she had finished her supper, she suddenly said,--
"Now, Pappy dear, I am going to tell you a great secret. I am going to change the song in the second act."
"Nonsense!" said he; but he was rather glad to see her come back to the interest of her work.
"I am," she said, seriously. "Would you like to hear it?"
"You will wake the house up."
"And if the public expect an actress to please them," she said, saucily, "they must take the consequences of her practising."
She went to the piano, and opened it. There was a fine courage in her manner as she struck the chords and sang the opening lines of the gay song:--
""Threescore o" n.o.bles rode up the King"s ha"
But bonnie Glenogie"s the flower of them a", Wi" his milk-white steed and his bonnie black e"e.""
--but here her voice dropped, and it was almost in a whisper that she let the maiden of the song utter the secret wish of her heart--
""_Glenogie, dear mither, Glenogie for me_."
"Of course," she said, turning round to her father, and speaking in a business-like way, though there was a spice of proud mischief in her eyes, "There is a stumbling-block, or where would the story be! Glenogie is poor; the mother will not let her daughter have anything to do with him; the girl takes to her bed with the definite intention of dying."
She turned to the piano again.
""There is, Glenogie, a letter for thee, Oh, there is, Glenogie, a letter for thee.
The first line he looked at, a light laugh laughed he; But ere he read through it, tears blinded his e"e."
"How do you like the air, papa?"