"DEAR GERTRUDE," he wrote, "I gather from your note that it is true you are going to be married. I had heard some time ago, so your letter was no great shock to me; and what I have suffered--well, that can be of no interest to you now, and it will do me no good to recall it. As to your message, I would forgive you freely; but how can I forget? Can you forget? Do you remember the red rose? But that is all over now, I suppose; and I should not wonder if I were after all, to be able to obey you, and to forget very thoroughly--not that alone, but everything else. For I have been rather ill of late--more through sleeplessness than any other cause, I think; and they say I must go for a long sea-voyage; and the mother and Janet both say I should be more at home in the old _Umpire_, with Hamish and Christina, and my own people round me, than in a steamer; and so I may not hear of you again until you are separated from me forever. But I write now to ask you if you would like your letters returned, and one or two keepsakes, and the photographs.
I would not like them to fall into other hands; and sometimes I feel so sick at heart that I doubt whether I shall ever again get back to Dare. There are some flowers, too; but I would ask to be allowed to keep them, if you have no objection; and the sketch of Ulva, that you made on the deck of the _Umpire_, when we were coming back from Iona, I would like to keep that, if you have no objection. And I remain your faithful friend,
"KEITH MACLEOD."
Now, at the moment he was writing this letter, Lady Macleod and her niece were together; the old lady at her spinning-wheel, the younger one sewing; and Janet Macleod was saying,--
"Oh, auntie, I am so glad Keith is going away now in the yacht! and you must not be vexed at all or troubled if he stays a long time; for what else can make him well again? Why, you know that he has not been Keith at all of late,--he is quite another man--I do not think any one would recognize him. And surely there can be no better cure for sleeplessness than the rough work of the yachting; and you know Keith will take his share, in despite of Hamish; and if he goes away to the South, they will have watches, and he will take his watch with the others, and his turn at the helm. Oh, you will see the change when he comes back to us!"
The old lady"s eyes had slowly filled with tears.
"And do you think it is sleeplessness, Janet," said she, "that is the matter with our Keith? Ah, but you know better than that, Janet."
Janet Macleod"s face grew suddenly red; but she said, hastily,--
"Why, auntie, have I not heard him walking up and down all the night, whether it was in his own room or in the library? And then he is out before any one is up: oh yes, I know that when you cannot sleep the face grows white and the eyes grow tired. And he has not been himself at all--going away like that from every one, and having nothing to say, and going away by himself over the moors. And it was the night before last he came back from Kinloch, and he was wet through, and he only lay down on the bed, as Hamish told me, and would have slept there all the night, but for Hamish. And do you not think that was to get sleep at last that he had been walking so far, and coming through the shallows of Loch Scridain, too? Ah, but you will see the difference, auntie, when he comes back on board the _Umpire_, and we will go down to the sh.o.r.e, and we will be glad to see him that day."
"Oh yes, Janet," the old lady said, and the tears were running down her face, "but you know--you know. And if he had married you, Janet, and stayed at home at Dare, there would have been none of all this trouble.
And now--what is there now? It is the young English lady that has broken his heart; and he is no longer a son to me, and he is no longer your cousin, Janet; but a broken-hearted man, that does not care for anything. And you are very kind, Janet; and you would not say any harm of any one. But I am his mother--I--I--well, if the woman was to come here this day, do you think I would not speak? It was a bad day for us all that he went away--instead of marrying you, Janet."
"But you know that could never have been, auntie," said the gentle-eyed cousin, though there was some conscious flush of pride in her cheeks. "I could never have married Keith."
"But why, Janet?"
"You have no right to ask me, auntie. But he and I--we did not care for each other--I mean, we never could have been married. I hope you will not speak about that any more, auntie."
"And some day they will take me, too, away from Dare," said the old dame, and the spinning-wheel was left unheeded; "and I cannot go into the grave with my five brave lads--for where are they all now, Janet?--in Arizona one, in Africa one, and two in the Crimea, and my brave Hector at Koniggratz. But that is not much; I shall be meeting them all together: and do you not think I shall be glad to see them all together again just as it was in the old days; and they will come to meet me; and they will be glad enough to have the mother with them once again. But, Janet, Janet, how can I go to them? What will I say to them when they ask about Keith--about Keith, my Benjamin, my youngest, my handsome lad?"
The old woman was sobbing bitterly; and Janet went to her and put her arms round her, and said,--
"Why, auntie, you must not think of such things. You will send Keith away in low spirits, if you have not a bright face and a smile for him when he goes away."
"But you do not know--you do not know," the old woman said, "what Keith has done for me. The others--oh yes, they were brave lads; and very proud of their name, too; and they would not disgrace their name, wherever they went; and if they died--that is nothing: for they will be together again now, and what harm is there? But Keith, he was the one that did more than any of them; for he stayed at home for my sake; and when other people were talking about this regiment and that regiment, Keith would not tell me what was sore at his heart; and never once did he say, "Mother, I must go away like the rest," though it was in his blood to go away. And what have I done now?--and what am I to say to his brothers when they come to ask me? I will say to them, "Oh yes, he was the handsomest of all my six lads; and he had the proudest heart, too; but I kept him at home--and what came of it all?" Would it not be better now that he was lying buried in the jungle of the Gold Coast, or at Koniggratz, or in the Crimea?"
"Oh, surely not, auntie! Keith will come back to us soon; and when you see him well and strong again, and when you hear his laugh about the house, surely you will not be wishing that he was in his grave? Why, what is the matter with you to-day, auntie?"
"The others did not suffer much, Janet, and to three of them, anyway, it was only a bullet, a cry, and then the death sleep of a brave man and the grave of a Macleod. But Keith, Janet--he is my youngest--he is nearer to my heart than any of them: do you not see his face?"
"Yes, auntie," Janet Macleod said, in a low voice; "but he will get over that. He will come back to us strong and well."
"Oh yes, he will come back to us strong and well!" said the old lady, almost wildly, and she rose, and her face was pale. "But I think it is a good thing for that woman that my other sons are all away now; for they had quick tempers, those lads; and they would not like to see their brother murdered."
"Murdered, auntie!"
Lady Macleod would have answered in the same wild, pa.s.sionate way; but at this very moment her son entered. She turned quickly; she almost feared to meet the look of this haggard face. But Keith Macleod said, quite cheerfully,--
"Well now, Janet, and will you go round to-day to look at the _Umpire?_ And will you come too, mother? Oh, she is made very smart now; just as if we were all going away to see the Queen."
"I cannot go to-day, Keith," said his mother; and she left the room before he had time to notice that she was strangely excited.
"And I think I will go some other day, Keith," his cousin said, gently, "just before you start, that I may be sure you have not forgotten anything. And, of course, you will take the ladies" cabin, Keith, for yourself; for there is more light in that, and it is farther away from the smell of the cooking in the morning. And how can you be going to-day, Keith, when it is the man from Greenock will be here soon now?"
"Why, I forgot that, Janet," said he, laughing in a nervous way--"I forgot that, though I was talking to Hamish about him only a little while ago. And I think I might as well go out to meet the _Pioneer_ myself, if the boat has not left yet. Is there anything you would like to get from Oban, Janet?"
"No, nothing, thank you, Keith," said she; and then he left; and he was in time to get into the big sailing-boat before it went out to meet the steamer.
This cousin of Hamish, who jumped into the boat when Macleod"s letter had been handed up to the clerk, was a little, black-haired Celt, beady-eyed, nervous, but with the affectation of a sailor"s bluffness, and he wore rings in his ears. However, when he was got ash.o.r.e, and taken into the library, Macleod very speedily found out that the man had some fair skill in navigation, and that he had certainly been into a good number of ports in his lifetime. And if one were taking the _Umpire_ into the mouth of the Thames, now? Mr. Lang looked doubtfully at the general chart Macleod had; he said he would rather have a special chart, which he could get at Greenock; for there were a great many banks about the mouth of the Thames; and he was not sure that he could remember the channel. And if one wished to go farther up the river, to some anchorage in communication by rail with London? Oh yes, there was Erith. And if one would rather have moorings than an anchorage, so that one might slip away without trouble when the tide and wind were favorable? Oh yes, there was nothing simpler than that. There were many yachts about Erith; and surely the pier-master could get the _Umpire_ the loan of moorings. All through Castle Dare it was understood that there was no distinct destination marked down for the _Umpire_ on this suddenly-arranged voyage of hers; but all the same Sir Keith Macleod"s inquiries went no farther, at present at least, than the river Thames.
There came another letter in dainty pink; and this time there was less trembling in the handwriting, and there was a greater frankness in the wording of the note.
"DEAR KEITH," Miss White wrote, "I would like to have the letters; as for the little trifles you mention, it does not much matter. You have not said that you forgive me; perhaps it is asking too much; but believe me you will find some day it was all for the best. It is better now than later on. I had my fears from the beginning; did not I tell you that I was never sure of myself for a day? and I am sure papa warned me. I cannot make you any requital for the great generosity and forbearance you show to me now; but I would like to be allowed to remain your friend.
G.W."
"P.S.--I am deeply grieved to hear of your being ill, but hope it is only something quite temporary. You could not have decided better than on taking a long sea-voyage. I hope you will have fine weather."
All this was very pleasant. They had got into the region of correspondence again; and Miss White was then mistress of the situation.
His answer to her was less cheerful in tone. It ran thus:
"DEAR GERTRUDE,--To-morrow morning I leave Dare. I have made up your letters, etc., in a packet; but as I would like to see Norman Ogilvie before going farther south, it is possible that we may run into the Thames for a day; and so I have taken the packet with me, and, if I see Ogilvie, I will give it to him to put into your hands. And as this may be the last time that I shall ever write to you, I may tell you now there is no one anywhere more earnestly hopeful than I that you may live a long and happy life, not troubled by any thinking of what is past and irrevocable.
Yours faithfully, KEITH MACLEOD."
So there was an end of correspondence. And now came this beautiful morning, with a fine northwesterly breeze blowing, and the _Umpire_, with her mainsail and jib set, and her gray pennon and ensign fluttering in the wind, rocking gently down there at her moorings. It was an auspicious morning; of itself it was enough to cheer up a heart-sick man. The white sea-birds were calling; and Ulva was shining green; and the Dutchman"s Cap out there was of a pale purple-blue; while away in the south there was a vague silver mist of heat lying all over the Ross of Mull and Iona. And the proud lady of Castle Dare and Janet, and one or two others more stealthily, were walking down to the pier to see Keith Macleod set sail; but Donald was not there--there was no need for Donald or his pipes on board the yacht. Donald was up at the house, and looking at the people going down to the quay, and saying bitterly to himself, "It is no more thought of the pipes, now, that Sir Keith has, ever since the English lady was at Dare; and he thinks I am better at work in looking after the dogs."
Suddenly Macleod stopped, and took out a pencil and wrote something on a card.
"I was sure I had forgotten something, Janet," said he. "That is the address of Johnny Wickes"s mother. We were to sent him up to see her some time before Christmas."
"Before Christmas!" Janet exclaimed; and she looked at him in amazement.
"But you are coming back before Christmas, Keith!"
"Oh, well, Janet," said he carelessly, "you know that when one goes away on a voyage it is never certain about your coming back at all, and it is better to leave everything right."
"But you are not going away from us with thoughts like those in your head, surely?" the cousin said. "Why, the man from Greenock says you could go to America in the _Umpire_; and if you could go to America, there will not be much risk in the calmer seas of the South. And you know, Keith, auntie and I don"t want you to trouble about writing letters to us; for you will have enough trouble in looking after the yacht; but you will send us a telegram from the various places you put into."
"Oh yes, I will do that," said he somewhat absently. Even the bustle of departure and the brightness of the morning had failed to put color and life into the haggard face and the hopeless eyes.
That was a sorrowful leave-taking at the sh.o.r.e; and Macleod, standing on the deck of the yacht, could see long after they had set sail, that his mother and cousin were still on the small quay watching the _Umpire_ so long as she was in sight. Then they rounded the Ross of Mull, and he saw no more of the women of Castle Dare.
And this beautiful white sailed vessel that is going south through the summer seas: surely she is no deadly instrument of vengeance, but only a messenger of peace? Look, now how she has pa.s.sed through the Sound of Iona; and the white sails are shining in the light; and far away before her, instead of islands with which she is familiar, are other islands--another Colonsay altogether, and Islay, and Jura, and Scarba, all a pale transparent blue. And what will the men on the lonely Dubh-Artach rock think of her as they see her pa.s.s by? Why, surely that she looks like a beautiful white dove. It is a summer day; the winds are soft; fly south, then, White Dove, and carry to her this message of tenderness, and entreaty, and peace? Surely the gentle ear will listen to you before the winter comes and the skies grow dark overhead, and there is no white dove at all, but an angry sea-eagle, with black wings outspread and talons ready to strike, Oh, what is the sound in the summer air? Is it the singing of the sea-maiden of Colonsay, bewailing still the loss of her lovers in other years? We cannot stay to listen; the winds are fair; fly southward, and still southward, oh you beautiful White Dove, and it is all a message of love and of peace that you will whisper to her ear.
CHAPTER XLIII.
DOVE, OR SEA-EAGLE?
But there are no fine visions troubling the mind of Hamish as he stands here by the tiller in eager consultation with Colin Laing, who has a chart outspread before him on the deck. There is pride in the old man"s face. He is proud of the performances of the yacht he has sailed for so many years; and proud of himself for having brought her--always subject to the advice of his cousin from Greenock--in safety through the salt sea to the smooth waters of the great river. And, indeed, this is a strange scene for the _Umpire_ to find around her in the years of her old age. For instead of the giant cliffs of Gribun and Bourg there is only the thin green line of the Ess.e.x coast; and instead of the rushing Atlantic there is the broad smooth surface of this coffee-colored stream, splashed with blue where the ripples catch the reflected light of the sky. There is no longer the solitude of Ulva and Colonsay, or the moaning of the waves round the lonely sh.o.r.es of Fladda, and Staffa, and the Dutchman; but the eager, busy life of the great river--a black steamer puffing and roaring, russet-sailed barges going smoothly with the ride, a tug bearing a large green-hulled Italian ship through the lapping waters, and everywhere a swarming fry of small boats of every description. It is a beautiful summer morning, though there is a pale haze lying along the Ess.e.x woods. The old _Umpire_, with the salt foam of the sea incrusted on her bows, is making her first appearance in the Thames.