Should I tell him also that these angels, even though it was against their laws, took human women to be their wives? Each wife bore the angel"s children; the Nephilim. These creatures, part angel-part human, grew to be giants in our world. Giants of pure evil. They wreaked havoc on the Earth, tearing humans apart, and eating their flesh.
Should I tell him that I was one of the girls who fell in love with one of the angels and I was the only one who didn"t have a child? That we never got further than a kiss? The Watchers were exiled from the earth, thrown into the Abyss until Judgment Day. The punishment I was given was this existence. A lost soul searching for my angel on earth, forever banned from heaven.
Yeah, sure, and the next thing I"d see is the view from the back of the silly bus as they hauled me off to the funny farm. I could never tell someone like Shane my secrets.
The next few hours flew by as if someone had pressed the fast forward b.u.t.ton on my remote control of life. We met up with the rest of the band at the bar; it was more packed than I"d seen it the first time I stepped foot in it. Conner was absolutely right when he said the auditions for a new band member would get them a lot of publicity. Everywhere you turned in the bar, people were talking about who would take Alex"s place. Alex sat in a booth as if his was royalty; his fans coming up to him, paying their respects.
Tucker walked in with his head held high. His Gucci suit was still on with his tie undone and the first two b.u.t.tons open. He brought an entourage of people from work, escorting them all right to me and introduced me to each one. There was red headed Jimmy, who spoke with an Irish accent. There was also Cameron, who upon meeting me said, "Your girl has a great a.s.s, Tucker." Lastly, there was Bradley, who elbowed Tucker and called him the luckiest guy in the world.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Shane grimacing. His foot started tapping wildly against the chair he sat in and he had his eyebrows pulled together. When Tucker placed his unwanted hand on the small of my back and began moving it quickly downwards, Shane jumped out of his chair. Pushing himself between Tucker and me, he grabbed my waist and pulled me forward, "Okay. Almost time to go onstage, so let"s have a band meeting before we do this!"
Ethan and Brayden looked at him with raised eyebrows. Ethan chuckled and shook his head. Brayden froze in surprise, "Huh, why?"
"Just shut up and let"s go!" Shane snapped.
"You guys go ahead; I"ll be there in a few minutes. I think I need to talk to Tucker alone," I said. Shane"s eyes widened and his lips pursed, and all I wanted to do was laugh at how beautiful he looked even when he was angry. "Go ahead, Shane. I"ll be right there."
Tucker stepped forward and pulled me away from Shane, "Yeah, Shane. Give us a few. She"ll still be able to play when I"m done with her, I promise. She just might not be able to walk straight," he laughed.
My face burned. Lea stepped closer to me, knowing exactly how hard I wanted to hit Tucker in the face. I stopped myself before I could pull my fist back. He was not going to ruin this night for me. I grabbed him tight around his forearm, digging my nails in. I didn"t stop, even when I heard him groan in pain.
I yanked him with me.
"Whoa, she definitely wants me right now!" Tucker disgustingly called to his friends.
Shane stalked off to the stage, followed by Ethan and Brayden.
I stopped only a few feet away, making sure we were still in view of everyone. I balled my fists tight and grabbed his suit jacket. I dragged his face a few inches above mine. His breath smelled like whiskey. "You are the most conceited, self-centered a.s.s that I have ever met! Don"t you ever put your hands on me again, and do not talk to me about how you want to sleep with me, because it ain"t happening. Now, Tucker, I had enough cla.s.s not to smack the skin off your face in front of all your friends over there, but if you disrespect me one more time, I will not stop myself from hitting you. Got it?"
His shoulders slouched down. "I really like you. You"re so beautiful."
Feeling guilty, I let go of him. "Tucker, when you drink, you have a nasty habit of making people feel like they aren"t worth much. I"m more than someone who is just beautiful and you haven"t even tried to get to know me. I"m sorry, Tucker, you"re a nice guy when you"re not drinking, but I gave you a chance and I didn"t like how you treated me." I walked away.
I got to the stage and looked back. Tucker was already talking to a group of other girls. Yes, I was just a pretty little bauble to look at.
Shane was plugging our guitars in when I climbed up. His eyes quickly scanned over me. "I guess Tucker"s pretty fast, huh?" he sneered.
If Shane were any other person, I would have said he was acting jealous, but this was Shane, and he"d never had feelings for anyone. I watched his expression. His forehead was scrunched together and his lips were tight. Four full shot gla.s.ses were on the amp next to him. He knocked back one and slammed it down empty, next to the others, glaring at me.
I shoved him lightly against the wall of the stage, behind the tall speakers, where no one could see. I left my head on his chest were I had pushed him. His heart raced below my fingertips.
He looked down at my hand and slowly raised his eyes to mine, his hands reached out softly to keep me at a distance.
"Are you angry with me or Tucker, Shane?"
He shook his head and said nothing, but the hands that were keeping us apart were losing their pressure. "Did you f.u.c.k him?" His heart sped up. Was he afraid of my answer?
I bit my lower lip and smiled. "Yeah, right in the hallway to the bathroom. I just let him have me against the wall."
His heart stopped, and then it started wildly drumming under my hands. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. This can"t be right. He can"t care about me.
He pushed against my hand, eyes desperate to get away from me. I almost let him pa.s.s, but I slammed my arms into his and pushed my lips to his ears.
"Is that what you think of me? Is that what you need to hear? That I"m like all the other girls? Tell me, Shane," I whispered, pulling my head back.
We stood inches apart, breathing each other in. My whole body was on fire.
Glancing down at my lips, he gave me a small smile. His hand traced the contours of my jaw and down my neck; I shivered under his touch.
"No. I want you to tell me why you have a pair of broken angel wings on your shoulder. I want you to tell me why you cut your wrists and I want to know why and how you play and sing the way you do, but most of all I want you to tell me what I need to do to be a good enough man for you."
I stepped back immediately, not expecting any of what he said. I grabbed one of the remaining shots and gulped it down, loving the burn. "Shane..." My mouth opened to say the words, but I couldn"t form a complete thought. "I don"t want to be just another one of your girls. I have other...things, too many things in my life." Why couldn"t I just tell him I was with someone else? Because that would be a lie, I was alone, searching for someone else. "I really just need a friend right now."
"Hey!" Ethan"s voice called from behind us. "You guys about ready?" he asked, coming over to stand next to us. Brayden followed. They took the last two shots and drank them. "Next time, we do them together," Ethan said holding up the gla.s.s. "That will be how we start each show with Grace."
I laughed. "Sounds good to me. Shall we amaze them?" I said, looking out into the crowd.
Shane smiled down at me. "Grace, trust me, they were amazed just by you walking in."
I shook my head giggling and I walked to pick up my guitar, but not before I overhead Ethan say, "Shane, you break that girl"s heart and I swear I"ll rip yours out. She"s off limits."
"Dude, I don"t know what the h.e.l.l is happening to me, but trust me, right now we"re just friends," was his reply.
The manager of the bar, Kelvin, was standing in front of us at the microphone as we walked out. His voiced echoed, "...new guitarist we"ve all been dying to see, and gentlemen, if any of your clothes make it up here, I"ll personally kick your sorry a.s.ses outta here! Here"s Mad World!"
The crowd roared when we were all visible. I ducked my head and laughed as a hot pink lacy bra sailed onto the stage. I plucked it off the floor and flung it at Shane, "I believe this is for you?" I teased into my mic. Howls erupted and Shane wore his s.e.xy woman-eating smile. He tucked the bra into his jeans pocket, letting it hang down his leg.
"Hey, everybody!" Shane addressed the crowd. "I"d like to introduce you to the gorgeous Grace Taylor on guitar!" I never heard so many catcalls in my life.
Shane"s perfect lips stretched across his face and when he nodded to me, something danced behind his eyes. I locked eyes with him. Tilting my head, I took the cue and my hands started flying all over my guitar. The crowd detonated into shrieks and screams. Shane joined in and our harmony made us both breathless. We played as one, staring at each other, neither one of us looking away. The crowd was somewhere in the distance, but we were in a place all our own. If we weren"t careful, the fire in our eyes would cause an inferno, so I laughed and looked away. We matched each other"s intensity. It overwhelmed my body and made me ache; this friendship would kill me. Right at that very minute, I wanted to die a thousand deaths for it. Truth be told, I hadn"t felt this alive in years. My fingers pulsated along the strings and then my voice burst out in song, alongside Shane. It was more intoxicating than any drink or drug. It burned through my veins and blazed into my heart, giving it a reason to beat. Rapture enveloped my body and soul.
We performed all the Mad World songs we practiced until Shane put his hand on the small of my back and whispered into his mic, "Let"s introduce them to Janis."
Something in the tone of his whisper made my knees weak. I could almost picture Janis by my side with her haunting laugh. Come on, she called to me.
I slid up against him, our backs touching and his body quivered in tune with mine. Leaning my head against his shoulder, my hair washing over him, our eyes latched on to each other"s. Changing her words, I sung to him.
Oh, Come on, Come on, Come on, Come on!
Don"t I make you feel, Shane, like you are the only man, And don"t I give you nearly everything that I possibly can?
Baby, you know I do!
All the time I tell myself that I, well I think I"ve had enough of you, Shane, But I"m gonna show you that a woman like me can be tough.
I want you to come on, and just take it, Take another little piece of my heart now, baby, I watched as my words showered over his body; he sang back to me, eyes blazing.
The set ended in a riot of noise and applause. Shane bounced off the stage, but instead of emerging himself in an army of girls, he turned and reached both his hands out for me jump down. Without a second of hesitation or a thought in my head, I dove into his arms. His strong arms caught me, cradling me like a baby and kissed me on the cheek. The lines of friendship completely blurred out of focus as I scanned his flawless face. What am I doing? Is one night worth it? Not in any lifetime.
"That was...intense. I think I need a drink," I breathed.
"Yeah, well, I need another ice cold shower. Tequila?" he asked.
I glided out of his embrace and nodded vigorously. I gave him a little friendly jab in the arm, "I"m sure in a few minutes any one of these girls will cure you of your need for a cold shower," I teased. I needed him to walk away and go find some meaningless one-night stand so I could remember what kind of man Shane really was.
He didn"t respond to my statement, only tightened his smile and escorted me through the screaming crowd to the bar. Lea was the first to meet us there and she hugged me tightly, lifting me off the ground. "Oh. My. G.o.d! You guys rocked!" She held me closer and whispered in my ear, "Was that as hot as it looked?"
I leaned my head back, bit my lip and nodded a yes. We fell over each other giggling.
Conner grabbed me up next in a bear hug. He reminded me so much of Jacob. "Thanks for helping my friends out."
Then after that, everyone just started hugging everyone. Brayden hugged me awkwardly around the neck like I had a contagious disease, Ethan hugged me and swung me around like a five year old, and Alex desperately tried to grab me by the waist with his casts. I playfully shoved him in the chest, telling him I was afraid he"d hurt himself by hugging me and he placed a kiss on my cheek. "Thanks for taking my place, Grace. I can"t wait to take these things off and play beside you!" he said holding up his casts.
"Yeah, well just don"t go and get yourself arrested again. What"s going on with that, anyway?"
His face turned red. "Yeah, I know I"m an idiot. I shouldn"t have gotten involved, but he roughs her up, Grace. You"re not supposed to hurt girls like that, you know."
I nodded my head at him.
"My court date is in three months, they released me on my own recognizance. I"m sure everything will be fine. Tucker and his father are pretty slick lawyers. His dad spun a great story about me coming to her rescue. Which is sorta true, it was just a day or two after the jerk beat up Cara."
Behind the bar, Ryan lined up the shot gla.s.ses and set out salt, lemons and limes. An onslaught of beautiful girls surrounded us, and our conversation ended when Alex noticed them. Tucker and his work buddies also walked over to take advantage of the crowd of ladies that was forming.
With the swam of busty bimbos bombarding us, I felt claustrophobic. Lea seemed to feel it too and she yanked Conner and me out of the middle of the crush of bodies. She elbowed me hard in the ribs and pointed to the far end of the bar. Shane.
He stood alone, leaning his elbows back against the bar. A bottle of tequila stood beside him with a single shot gla.s.s. His hair was tousled, messy and incredibly s.e.xy. His dark tee shirt was tight and a tad raised from the way he was leaning. A perfectly toned stomach peeked out. He looked like a Greek G.o.d. A Greek G.o.d whose eyes were glued on me.
A dark haired girl slithered up to him and brushed a piece of hair from his forehead, blocking his view of me. They spoke for a few seconds and I watched his head shake and the girl walked away. My guess was that she was ugly, but when she turned around to walk off, I saw that she wasn"t. Another girl followed in her wake, a platinum blonde this time. She also walked away with a rejected look on her face.
Lea gripped my arm and nodded towards Shane, "What do you think that"s about?"
I shrugged and looked to Conner for an answer.
Conner"s eyes squinted. "Maybe he realizes that he wouldn"t be allowed to take someone back to your apartment, since that"s where he says we"re staying until that nut is caught." Now, that made sense.
Lea eyed me. "Nah, I don"t think that"s it at all. I think he"s got it bad for his new guitarist. Did you see them up there, Conner?"
"No way," I said. "I like Conner"s explanation much more than yours. It"s much safer for everyone involved!"
The three of us walked over to him. He reached over the bar and pulled up three more shot gla.s.ses. He slid them over the bar to us and reached over the bar again for the salt shaker and a handful of limes on a napkin.
The four of us each salted the back of our hands, took a shot and popped a lime in our mouths. Lea pinched my waist and patted me on the shoulder. She pushed Conner away from us and started a private conversation with him in whispers. Giggling to each other, they walked off a bit down the bar to be more alone.
I knew exactly what she was up to; she wanted me to be alone with Shane. Nice best friend, throwing me to the sharks.
Shane poured me another shot and gently took hold of my hand. He stuck his pinky into my shot gla.s.s, slid his wet finger over the back of my hand, and then salted it. I watched his hands on mine. This is going to go from bad to holy c.r.a.p in a minute. My eyes rose to meet his. I licked the back of my hand and tilted back my drink.
"I bet you make that taste like heaven," he said.
I placed my gla.s.s back on the bar and looked down at it. I turned back to him, tilting my head up, our faces so close. "Shane, I watched you before. You didn"t have to say no to those girls because you think you have to stay with me tonight. You don"t have to stay over to babysit me instead of doing your usual thing."
His face paled. "That"s what you think?" He turned around to face me; shifting his body closer to mine. He blinked back a sullen look.
My cheeks burned. "It"s what Conner said when he saw you standing here letting those girls walk away from you."
"You didn"t answer my question. Is that what you think?"
"I didn"t think about it at all. I just don"t want you to do something you don"t really need or want to do."
Shane leaned in closer, our cheeks brushed against each other. His breath tickled in my ear, "Funny thing is, Grace, needing and wanting is exactly what I am doing. And, just for the record, it is not those girls I need or want."
Without saying another word to me, he delicately took my arm and sprinkled a small pinch of salt on the soft skin of my inner wrist. He raised my arm to his mouth and I watched him lightly press his tongue against my skin, skimming it across the surface. My breath caught. He downed his tequila and squeezed the lime into his mouth, smiling. Oh. My. G.o.d. "G.o.d, Grace. You do taste like heaven," he whispered breathlessly.
I felt a delicious heat rise all over my body. "I think I should go home now. I"m...really...tired." I whirled around and practically ran towards the bathroom. I had no idea where Conner and Lea had gone. They were probably headed home already. I just needed to splash cold water on my face.
"Then I"m going too," he yelled after me.
I pushed through the crowds of people and ran into the back hallway. I headed for the women"s room, but hesitated when I touched the handle of the door. Dread crept over my body. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, eradicating all of the burning desperate hunger Shane"s touch invoked. Of course, I opened it and walked in anyway. I am in a bad horror movie.
The only window in the bathroom was wide open, and a fine layer of snow covered the tiled floor. I scanned the room. I heard a soft movement in the one stall that was closed.
"Are you really stupid enough to believe, Gabriel? Do you really believe after thousands of years, all the lifetimes, he"ll get his little human prize?" a voice growled.
The door slowly swung open. My heart thudded to a stop.
Looking intensely at me was Carl Sumpton, or at least Carl Sumpton"s body staring at me though ancient blue eyes. His hands clung to the sides of the stall as if he needed the help to stand.
"No human has eyes the color of an angel, who are you?" I whispered.
"Shamsiel always did say you were a smart one," he hissed. His body tried to step closer to me, but it only managed to slump back and fall against the toilet. Its flesh was transparent and bluish. The skin around its eyes was bruised and swollen; its cheeks were sunken in.
"It looks to me like that body is about to send your soul elsewhere, who are you? I"ve never heard of an angel who shared the same punishment as me."
The body trembled, taking great pains to continue breathing life through it. "Azazel, child, and my punishment was far worse than yours, and I"ve grown too tired of the burning fires of h.e.l.l," it coughed. A fine trickle of deep red blood spilled from the corner of its mouth.
I lurched forward, grabbing his face in my hands, searching his eyes. Blood splattered on my arms. "A Grigori? One of the Watchers? That Azazel? Where is Shamsiel? I"ve been in h.e.l.l here searching for him!"
"You will never find him. I won"t let him get what the rest of us can"t have. Do you really think, child, that we could possibly be forgiven? We have fallen, and there are no second chances. And I sure as h.e.l.l won"t let him get what I can"t have, when his sin was no better than mine."
"We did nothing wrong. Our only crime was in loving each other. You, the rest of you, you"re the ones that created the Nephilim! You"re the ones that tore the earth apart and helped bring chaos down. You taught the humans war! Shamsiel and I were children; all we did was fall in love. He never even touched me, but for one kiss!"
"Child," he cooed. "He was thrown into the abyss with the rest of us. Do you really believe with a punishment of that magnitude he"d still want the love of a human?" he sneered. "Besides, do you think he knows you still exist here?"
I stepped back, wiping the blood from my hands on his shirt. "Why are you trying to kill me?"
The body convulsed. "You"re the only one," it seethed. The body collapsed in on itself and stilled. I was the only one of what?
Someone in the hallway knocked on the door to come in. I stood above the dead body, confused and needing a h.e.l.l of a lot more answers then what I was just given.