His expression was guarded. "Oh, are you talking to me? I thought we hated each other." His lips curled down, his sadness peeking through.
I wanted to kiss those lips desperately. s.h.i.t! This is getting worse! I smiled at him. I didn"t even mean to, it just burst from my lips. My cheeks burned.
"Stop smiling, Grace." He leaned forward, a smile appearing on his face that matched mine. "A smile like that can give a man hope."
But I couldn"t stop smiling and neither could he. We sat there smiling, staring into each other"s eyes, until Ethan walked up to us and cleared his throat. "What is with the two of you?"
My eyes snapped from his and I couldn"t quite catch my breath. This is too dangerous. I needed to find Azazel before I give myself, body and soul to Shane. I shivered; I needed to end my time here. It"s not like me to want someone or to need someone, especially when I knew it would only be for a few hours.
The crowd screamed for us to play, and when we emerged from the back of the stage, the sound was deafening. Shane struck a chord and that silenced the audience. The rest of us took his lead and the crowd roared back to life.
The music was intense and electrifying. It pulsated along the walls and through the stage rocking me to my core. I played as if it was the last time I"d ever hold my guitar.
After the set, we all jumped off the stage. Sweaty and on fire, we ran to the bar to try to quench the flames.
Laughing and singing our last song, Ryan lined up shot gla.s.ses of Kamikaze shooters for us, fruity and sweet. I gulped one back and slammed in on the bar.
Someone leaned against the bar next to me, "May I buy you a drink?"
I lifted my head to the voice.
"Hi, I"m Steve," he said, and then pointed to my empty gla.s.s, "May I buy you a drink."
I smiled politely at him, "Thank you, but the band has a running tab at the bar, so there"s no need to."
Ryan slid over another Kamikaze shooter to me and the irony of name of the drink and my life made me giggle.
Steve smiled down at me with s.e.xy green eyes. "You were amazing up there," he said to me, nodding to the stage. "I"m sure you hear this all the time, but you are incredibly s.e.xy and your eyes...I"ve never seen a more beautiful color."
Before I could thank him, Shane stepped between us. "Hey, excuse me, um, Steve was it? Yeah, well Grace and I have band things to take care of, so goodbye." Shane stood there glaring down at him until he backed away. "Walk the f.u.c.k away from her right now; she"s not up for grabs, Steve."
Steve held my gaze, "She"s not up for grabs? Calm down, jacka.s.s. I just wanted to buy this beautiful woman a drink."
Shane stepped in closer to Steve, blocking my view of him. "Just walk away, dude."
Steve shook his head laughing and held his hands in the air. He leaned past Shane and spoke directly to me. "Listen, my friends and I will be here for a while, so if you"d like to dance or something, come and find me."
I watched Shane"s knuckles turn white as he balled his hands into fists. I slid off my barstool, smiled at Steve and placed my hand on Shane"s chest, softly holding him back. "Thank you, Steve, but I"m wiped from the show, so I"m calling it a night. I"m Grace by the way. It was nice to meet you and I"m glad you enjoyed the music." I turned to face Shane letting Steve know that our conversation was over.
I kept my hand on Shane. "I am leaving now. Don"t ever do that again to me. Don"t ever stop someone from speaking to me. I"m not your property. I"m barely even your friend."
His eyes bore into mine, "Do you want to go home with him?"
"What the h.e.l.l is wrong with you, Shane? Are you serious right now? You"re the guy who has slept with almost every girl in this bar, and I can"t have someone buy me a drink?"
"You told him no thank you and he didn"t listen. And Grace, I haven"t slept with anyone since you walked into this bar that first Friday."
I raised my eyebrows. "Liar. You"ve been here with girls, sucking their faces off right in front of me."
"I haven"t slept with any of them, Grace."
"Please don"t say anything else. Please don"t. I have to get out of here. I"m exhausted and I don"t have the energy to fight with you."
"Then, I"m taking you home and I"m staying."
I folded my arms across my chest, "Excuse me?" That"s what came out of my mouth, but my mind was high-fiving myself, trying to think of the s.e.xiest thing I could wear to tease the h.e.l.l out of him.
We grabbed our equipment and headed for the door without saying our goodbyes. I texted Lea when I got outside, because I didn"t want her to worry, and I knew she and Conner would come home when she read the message.
We walked through the snow in silence. The only sound in the streets was the sounds of our shoes crushing the snow beneath us.
When we reached the apartment, Shane went in first and searched all the rooms, while he made me stay in the front hallway. When he felt that Carl Sumpton was not hiding somewhere, we raided the refrigerator.
Shane settled on making pancakes, while I jumped in the shower to wash the night"s show off. When the hot water ran cold, I jumped out, wrapped myself in a towel, and walked out into the kitchen.
The spatula fell to the floor splattering pancake batter all over. Shane"s eyes widened, "Pancakes are almost ready," he whispered.
"There should be more hot water in about five minutes, if you want to jump in the shower," I said.
He turned the burners on the stove off and lifted his shirt over his head. My body hummed. Every single nerve ending trembled with want.
He gave me a crooked smile, "Why Grace? You think I"m dirty?" He walked towards me slowly.
"Oh, no, Shane, I"m betting on you being filthy," I teased.
He moved closer until I could feel his sweet warm breath on my face. My body wanted to lurch forward into his arms and be over with it. Just one night with Shane, get it out of my system and then I"d leave. I"d leave and find Azazel and ask him to help me end my eternity.
The front door opened, spilling voices into the apartment. Shane"s expression turned desperate with longing. I turned away, walked into my room, closed the door, leaning against it and exhaling the breath that I"d been holding in. I couldn"t even begin to understand the hold that Shane had over me. It terrified me and it made me hate myself. I didn"t want to be the same as all those other girls and I was. I changed into a simple pair of jeans and tank top and made my way to where everyone seemed to be.
Lea had invited a few people from the bar and they were all hanging out eating Shane"s pancakes when I ventured in. Shane sat on the arm of the couch laughing with Ethan when I came in. His expression softened when he saw me, and my heart ached. How I wish that I could really be Grace and not know what heaven felt like.
Within a few minutes, Shane made his way towards me and placed his hand on the small of my back. I didn"t flinch, I didn"t move away, and I leaned into him. I wanted him to think that Grace would have loved him, because she would have. And I made up my mind that, in the morning I was leaving, and nothing would stop me.
"Are you okay?" he asked looking down into my eyes.
"I"m just tired. I think I"m going to call it a night." I smiled up at him. "Goodbye Shane." I felt his eyes follow me down the hallway, but his body never moved.
Chapter 12.
That night, I dreamt of a prison of fires that bound the fallen angels deep beneath the heavens. I could smell the burning toxic fumes as if they were real. They weighed down heavy on my skin and grabbed hold of my lungs, squeezing the life from them.
Far away in the distance, I could hear a frantic voice calling my name, screaming for me, and pulling me to the surface.
The body of the voice slid onto my bed, pinning me down. "Grace," it whispered. "Grace, please wake up!" The voice shook me violently.
I wanted desperately to answer the beautiful voice, but the air was too thick and my throat burned with sweet noxious flames, crushing me from within.
My eyelids were heavy and stung with burning tears. It took all my strength to pry them open.
"Grace," the voice whispered, as I was taken up and cradled into its arms. A deep red burst of fire exploded across the ceiling, flames stretching toward me like fiery hands calling me home.
"Grace, baby, please, please wake up. Grace, please don"t leave me, please. I love you." The strong arms nestled me into its chest and it carried me into oblivion.
I heard gla.s.s shatter and felt its icy sharpness rain down over my body. Ice-cold air exploded in my lungs and the blackness came.
I awoke, strapped to a gurney in the middle of the street with an oxygen mask covered my face. I breathed in greedily and coughed up putrid black ooze into the street.
The emergency medical technicians unstrapped me from the gurney and helped me sit up. The world spun around me in a torrid array of vibrant colors. Lea was next to me with tear streaks running down the black soot caked on her face. Conner was behind us talking to a firefighter as black smoke billowed out of our apartment windows.
Tucker, Ethan and Brayden ran down the street followed by others, but I didn"t know who they were. Voices were running over each other and I couldn"t make out any of what had happened. I still wasn"t sure if any of it was real.
Lea sat on the gurney with me and held me in her arms. Shane stood in the distance with his eyes fixed on mine.
"They are saying this is definitely arson," Lea whispered. "The fire started in your room."
"What?" I croaked.
She grabbed me tighter. "Oh G.o.d, Grace, this is the scariest thing ever. Somebody wants to kill you. Kill you!"
Ethan ran up to the gurney, grabbed me in his huge arms, and cuddled me close. "What would we do without you? Are you okay?"
I shook my head. Shane was still watching me.
Tucker grabbed me in his arms next, but he sat down on the gurney and pulled me into his lap. I was so tired that I had no energy to even stop him. Shane turned his head.
They talked me into riding in the ambulance to get checked out for smoke inhalation at the hospital. I just wanted to jump in my jeep and leave as I had planned, but Lea and Tucker practically threw me in the back of the ambulance, strapping me on the gurney on the way in.
Lea rode with me. She just sat next to me holding my hand and crying.
"How did I get out of there?" my voice cracked.
She looked at me and tilted her head, weighing if she should tell me. "Shane carried you out. But, I don"t think he wants you to know."
"What makes you say that?" I coughed.
"Because, he told me not to tell you."
I was rolled into the emergency room where I waited a total of fifteen minutes until a doctor saw me. Lea and I decided that was some sort of record. We weren"t even finished with all the paperwork they asked for.
The nurse that checked all my vital signs was a horror. However, when the doctor on call walked in, Lea straightened herself up and tried to wipe my face of debris.
He introduced himself as Doctor Tanner and began a monotonous speech about smoke inhalation. "Smoke inhalation contributes to the total number of fire-related deaths each year for several reasons...the damage can be serious...life threatening...its diagnosis is not always easy, since there are no sensitive diagnostic tests...you may not show symptoms until 24-48 hours after the event," he droned on.
I knew I was fine, because I was picturing him completely naked with only a stethoscope around his neck.
Waiting for my release papers to be signed, Lea and I sat around the emergency room and told dirty jokes to two elderly men who had been waiting to be released along with me.
Within ten minutes, the entire emergency room was silent, listening to our banter. Curtains were pushed aside and laughter could be heard down the hallway.
Tucker walked in right before I was released and gave me another hug, holding me a little longer than was needed. "Here"s your superman to break you out of here," he whispered in my ear.
"Where"s Conner and Shane?" Lea snapped.
Tucker chuckled, "Conner was still talking to the fire chief and the police. Shane probably met a hot chick in a uniform and got sidetracked, you know how he is." He helped me down off the bed that I was sitting on and hooked his arm in mine.
"How bad is the apartment? Can we stay there tonight? Do we need to get a hotel room?" I asked.
"Whoa, sweetheart, calm down. Don"t worry about anything. You girls can stay with us and we are definitely getting you out of town for a little while, Grace. The way it looks is that this was done on purpose."
Tucker drove us back to the apartment he shared with Brayden and Alex. "Grace, you can stay at my place. It"s no problem, since we have an extra bedroom. My cousin Blake is staying in it now, but he won"t mind sleeping on the couch. Or you can just sleep in my room, whatever you"re more comfortable with."
I looked at Lea in the backseat and cringed. "I really want to stay with Lea. That"s how I"ll be comfortable."
He gave me one of his condescending smiles. "Don"t you think that Lea would want to be with Conner? The Bone Room is the only room they have there, and trust me; the sheets in that room will stick to you."
I cringed again.
Lea moaned. "Ew that"s disgusting. I have no problem being at a hotel. How about we stay at the Waldorf for a few nights?" Lea"s tone became excited with the thought.
"That"s absurd," Tucker snapped. "Grace has no job. You work, for what? Minimum wage at that little publishing house? And your apartment just caught fire. You can"t afford the Waldorf, let alone a roach infested seedy pay-by-the-hour motel. She"s staying with me tonight, and then we are going to my winter place. We"ll leave tomorrow before the snow starts really coming down."
"Tucker, I thank you, but I"m not staying with you tonight. End of discussion." I said.
When we reached Tucker"s apartment, he pulled his jaguar in behind a huge shiny black Cadillac Escalade. He pointed his finger at the monstrous SUV and gave a smug look. "That"s my cousin Blake"s ride. He just started working with me in my father"s firm and he already bought a shiny new toy. It"s hot, right?"
"Sure, if you"re attracted to giant things made of metal that mess up the environment and suck you dry for gas," Lea quipped.
We followed Tucker into his apartment, where he threw his coat on a chair and hurried out into another room. He left Lea and me standing there, still full of ashes and soot, and feeling oh so very welcomed.
Tucker shared his apartment with Brayden and Alex. It was a stereotypical bachelor pad, if said bachelors were all fourteen and just hitting p.u.b.erty. Posters of half-naked schoolgirls lined the walls and empty beer cans were lined up along the coffee table, artfully holding up fifteen pizza boxes. The smell of cologne and stale beer seemed to be their brand of air freshener.
I jabbed Lea with my elbow, "And you wanted to stay at the Waldorf, when we could have this," I giggled spreading my arms wide.
"I rather stay in the burnt apartment. This is ridiculous. I don"t feel like you"re safe here, and I really want Conner and Shane with us at all times."
"Shane?" I whispered.
"Grace, if it wasn"t for him, you"d literally be toast right now!" she hissed. "I"m calling Conner to get his a.s.s over here. Tucker gets all creepy when he"s around you!"
She yanked her phone out of her bag and started talking in hushed whispers with someone on the other end.
Tucker strode out of one of the back rooms with a bottle of his precious champagne. "Would you like some of your favorite?" he asked, holding the bottle up for me to see.