We burst out into a fit of giggles, "Lea, I can"t." Okay, so I was really trying to believe that.

"So what do you want?"

"Right now, I just want Jacob to be here to give me big hug and say, "I"m sorry that the entire male gender of our species sucks." But, more than that, I need another drink so I can forgot about everything for a little while."

When we returned, Shane was sitting at the bar with a stunning blonde. A twinge of envy coursed through my body, but I washed it away with another drink. I watched as he leaned in, brushing her long golden hair off her shoulder and whispered into her ear. She ran her fingers though his hair and giggled, sliding closer against him.

I could be steadfast in the things I wanted for myself, but I would be lying to say that the pa.s.sion and l.u.s.t that Shane had in his eyes for me before wasn"t so very tempting. Although seeing him with this other women just proved the fact that I was nothing special. I knew down deep in my soul that I was special to the person I was looking for. Lea slid on the barstool next to me and laughed, "Do you see that? Girl, that could have been you! Just think, you gave up a night of ride "em cowboy with Hottie McShane, for..." she looked at the empty barstool on the other side of me, "Oh, right. No one that I can see."



The blonde stood up, taking Shane by the hand and she led him to the dance floor. She was all legs and cleavage.

They danced like they were the only two people in the room and I had to look away, wondering if I had looked like that just a few minutes before her.

Lea and I slammed down two more shots. We spun our stools around and scanned the dance floor. Shane was still dry humping the p.o.r.n star, but his eyes were on me.

Another shot. I didn"t want to feel this. I had no right to feel this way. I didn"t want to think of myself as slighted, I didn"t want to wish to be someone else every second of every day. Right now, most of all, I didn"t want to have such a strong desire to be that blonde dancing with Shane. Not just for the fact of getting to spend a night with him, but also wanting to run away from my past. Just to spend even a small amount of time pretending I was normal.

I strolled past them, smiling and shaking my head. I needed to run some icy water over the back of my neck, the bar was spinning and I needed to try to ground myself. Then, I"m getting some fresh air. I walked into the back hallway, alone.

"Don"t f.u.c.king move and don"t f.u.c.king yell," a man"s voice hissed into my ear, "Or I swear to G.o.d I will slit your f.u.c.king throat."

I froze as I watched Shane and his new friend get lost in the dance crowd behind me from the corner of my eye. Did he see what was happening to me? "Okay," I replied, feeling the sharpness of the knife at the nape of my neck. The fingers of his other hand dug into my arm. That"s going to leave a bruise.

"Move back, let"s go, just turn around." He waved the knife in the air and pointed to a door near the bathroom.

He shoved me hard against the door; the hallway was spinning around me. I definitely should not have drunk so much. And, really why does stuff like this have to happen to nice girls when they hardly ever drink? Not fair.

He came up behind me, eased the door open and pushed me through.

Once he shut the door, he flicked on the light switch and turned the lock on the k.n.o.b. I glared straight into his eyes. He stood tall and broad with short-cropped hair, his eyes so blue and bloodshot they looked almost purple. I vaguely remembered seeing him at the bar, somewhere in the background. He had a gold ring on his left hand finger, a tattoo of the name Sarah across his inner wrist. I could have belted out detail after detail, and ill.u.s.trated every single inch of the man who was going to attempt to hurt me. A sliver of a thought flashed through my mind. Should I let this be the end? Isn"t this what I"ve wanted since the day I woke up in that hospital bed after the accident? An easy out of this life?

No. I wanted to see him again. Gabriel said to live this life of mine. If this were the end of it, it would mean that I"d have already found him and not known it. No. I decided to live this life.

"I like the way you dance, now I"m going to dance with you, I want to see what"s so hot about you," he said. He bared his teeth back and tried to slam into me with all his weight. "I"m gonna break you in half, b.i.t.c.h."

I chambered my open palm and thrust it straight up into his nose as he flew towards me. I heard a sickening crunch and smiled at myself. After hundreds upon hundreds of years, I definitely knew how to protect myself.

Blood poured out of his nose. "Oh yeah, b.i.t.c.h. You know I like it rough."

His b.l.o.o.d.y hands tried to grab me, but they were too slippery. He threw himself at me instead, trying to wrestle me to the ground. I laughed at him.

I slammed my knee into his groin and clipped him in the nose again with my elbow.

"Grace!" I could hear Lea"s m.u.f.fled screams in the hallway as she banged on the door. I could hear other screams along with hers and the sounds of someone slamming themselves up against the outside of the door. I kept my focus on my attacker, though. I didn"t want him to catch me off my guard. He was big; a lot bigger than me. If I hadn"t had so many centuries on this earth of learning how to protect myself, I would have definitely suffered the fate of so many young women today. As I sidestepped his attacks, I thanked G.o.d that I was the one who this brutal man had chosen to victimize. Any other girl at this bar would have probably gotten killed, but tonight this man would be surprised; there are girls who can fight back. Especially ones that have lived since the dawn of time.

"Get the h.e.l.l off her!" Shane yelled after kicking through the door. Wooden splinters burst from the doorframe.

Before I could take my next breath, Shane ripped the guy away from me; pounding him in the face over and over. His eyes were wild.

The second Shane looked at me with concern, the guy leapt at him; stabbing the knife into Shane"s shoulder and pulling it back out. Shane shook his head stunned, steadied himself and moved in as the guy lunged to cut him again. Shane dexterously blocked the knife with his right hand and hammered the guy square in the chest with his other fist. The b.l.o.o.d.y knife splattered and bounced. The man crumbled to the floor like a rag doll.

Shane grabbed my face with his hands, pulling my eyes away from watching the blood flowing from his shoulder, to his eyes. "Grace, you okay? Did he hurt you? He had blood all over him when I came in. Where are you hurt?"

I grabbed Shane"s shoulder and applied pressure to it. I smiled up at him, "It was his blood, Shane. He didn"t hurt me." Shane looked from the limp body slumped on the floor and back to me, his expression a mixture of relief and awe.

A dark look settled on his face. "Did he touch you? I swear to G.o.d, Grace, I"ll kill him right now."

I placed my hand up to his face, laying it softly on his cheek. Even through my numbing drunkenness, I still felt the slow burning heat of him washing over me like crashing waves. "He never got the chance, you came."

He looked down across his shoulder, smiling. "Grace, I just got stabbed to save you. Can I at least have a kiss as a reward?" He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

I leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.

His eyes met mine, laughing, "Wow. A peck on the forehead is the equivalent to being stabbed to you? No way! I"m going to milk this one! You owe me, big time!"

I slapped him in his arm, making him wince. "Shane, you could take your blonde bimbo home or me, and you wouldn"t know the difference. But, I do owe you," I said, smiling. "I"ll think of something where I get to keep my clothes on."

Everyone in the bar seemed to pile into the back room at that moment. The bouncers came in, the police were called and Shane was driven to Lenox Hill Hospital a few blocks away.

I sat in the waiting area of the emergency room being questioned by two uniformed police officers. They were kind and compa.s.sionate, so different from what you always heard was the cliched stereotypical NYPD officer. They reiterated over and over how very fortunate I had been that Shane had come in when he did. They had been on many calls where it had been too late.

The blonde Shane had been dancing with, Brianna, sat across from me, biting her fake nails. She had ridden in the ambulance with him. The two police officers in a squad car escorted me, as if I was the criminal.

I couldn"t stand to be in the same room as her. I bet Shane didn"t even know her name. I couldn"t stop myself from the thoughts flooding through me as I watched her. Why would anyone let themselves be used by someone for one night, fully knowing that there wouldn"t be another? How low could this girl feel about herself that she still waited for Shane to take her home? Was it for the sole reason to elevate her status with her friends?

Conner and Lea arrived ten minutes later than we did, both mumbling about too many run-ins with the cops in one night. We all talked Brianna into calling a cab to head home, because we didn"t think Shane would be up for any more fun tonight.

After an hour, Shane strolled out into the waiting area with twenty-one st.i.tches holding him together. He leaned his elbow onto my shoulder and smiled, "Were you worried sick about me?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Shane. I knew your big fat ego would block the knife somehow."

The four of us walked out of the hospital around midnight. Sharing a cab, we drove home in silence, the shadows of the city falling over us as we moved along the quiet streets. Lea and I were dropped off first and the guys would continue the cab ride to their apartment. The driver pulled in front of our building and I reached inside my jacket pocket for money, but the guys pushed the money away.

"Oh, Shane. I forgot to mention it, but Brianna wanted me to tell you to call her. We made her call a cab, sorry." I looked to Conner and Lea, "We thought it would be longer, and well, she was annoying to stare at really."

Shane"s eyebrows pulled together in confusion, "Who"s Brianna?"

It figures! I walked into the apartment laughing at myself for how jealous I had felt over someone Shane hadn"t cared enough about to ask her name.

Lea dropped her coat on the floor in the living room and threw herself on the couch. "Are you okay? Grace, that man almost... I mean, he stabbed Shane! That could have been you," she whispered, rubbing the back of her neck in amazement. Her eyes welled up with tears.

I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. "It"s okay now, I"m okay and Shane"s fine." I gave her a weak smile.

She brought her hand to her mouth, "I don"t know what"s more unbelievable, Alex getting arrested tonight, you getting attacked or Shane being a hero!" She sighed and gave me a perplexed look. "And, why in the world did you go to the bathroom solo? That"s like, completely against the girl code or something."

I just shrugged. "I needed to get some air."

Lea looked at me through squinted eyes. "Why do I feel like you"re not telling me something?" She sat upright on the couch and leaned forward, closer to me.

My cell vibrated and started ringing the blaring alarm sirens I programmed into it, making us both jump. The timing couldn"t have been more perfect. I did not want her thinking that Shane had gotten under my skin while I was drinking.

"Gray, you need to change that ringtone. It scares the c.r.a.p out of me every time I hear it. Who is it, anyway?"

I grabbed my coat off the coat rack and fumbled through the pockets. Touching the screen, I saw a number I didn"t recognize. I didn"t answer.

"Who was it?"

"I didn"t recognize the number," I said. "Well, whoever it is, it has to be a wrong number. The only person who would call me this late is you."

My voicemail rang. Lea looked at me expectantly. I sighed heavily. If she wasn"t standing there waiting, I would probably not even check the message and just go right to bed.

I touched the little voicemail icon on the screen and placed the volume on speakerphone so she could listen. She"s the one that wanted to hear it anyway.

Shane"s low raspy voice echoed into the room. "Grace, it"s Shane. Give me a call back, tonight. Doesn"t matter what time." There was a few seconds of silence and then, "Call me or I swear I"ll ring this phone all night." He chuckled and clicked the phone off.

Lea shook her head and giggled. "Gray, he"s not going to let up. He"s going to want payback for saving you. A lot more than a little peck on the forehead."

"He is going to be relentless, isn"t he?" I asked laughing. Why was I feeling a little happy about this?

She nodded, "Gray, the entire population of women in the Tri-State Area would kill to have Shane Maxton call their cell and give them the attention he"s giving you right now. He"s not used to girls not being affected by his charming ways," she laughed.

"I don"t get how anyone can find him charming. It"s all just about how he looks, I don"t really see too much of a personality there."

Lea tilted her head, "Shane"s really cool when you get to know him. I"ve had a ton of heart to heart talks with him. He"s really smart and talented. I think he just got his heart broken once and he"s just protecting himself." She yawned loudly, "There"s a lot more to Shane than meets the eye, but he"s definitely not someone who you could have more than a short fling with, it"s not in him. Unless, maybe..."

"Don"t even think another thought. I agree, Shane is um, very tempting, but I"ve been saving myself so long for something that is so much better than Shane. I will not let myself be led off my path. So stop it. Please."

My phone exploded with sound again. I touched the screen to see Shane"s number staring back at me, again. I fingered the answer icon. "What do you want, Shane?" I asked.

"Who is Brianna?" he asked.

Lea made stupid goofy faces at me, a few obscene hand gestures, and called it a night. I listened to his breathing on the phone as he waited for my answer.

"Um, the stunning blonde you picked up at the bar and danced with," I replied, walking into my room. "She went in the ambulance with you, Shane. How could you not know who I"m talking about? Anyway, why are you calling me and asking about it. More importantly, who gave you my number so I can plot their slow death?"

"Oh, man. I thought her name was Lori," he laughed. He seemed to hesitate for a few moments, as if he was trying to formulate his next sentence carefully. "Did you get upset when I was dancing with her?"

I leaned the phone on my neck and started undressing. Rummaging through my drawers, I found the only clean sleepwear, a tiny tank top and matching panties. Thank G.o.d, Conner wasn"t staying over tonight, I desperately needed to do laundry. "Shane, why in the world would I care if you danced with someone? Is that why you called me?"

He chuckled which irritated me to no end. "No," he sighed the word. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. It"s not every night that someone attacks you, right?" Not in this lifetime, anyway. Hold on. Is this his attempt at being sincere?

"I"m absolutely fine, exhausted, but fine."

He suddenly sounded remorseful, "I programed your number into my phone when I called you on Lea"s phone looking for Tucker. I didn"t think you"d mind." His tone lifted immediately, "I was about to grab something to eat and then go to bed, what are you doing?"

I exhaled slowly. I didn"t want him to think I was about to jump and get something to eat with him if I said I was hungry and about to get something to eat myself. "I"m climbing into bed right now," I yawned and sank into my cool cotton sheets.

"Oh." I could hear him smiling at me through the phone. He never lets up, does he? "That"s a thought that"s going to last me all night."

"G.o.d, Shane! Shut up! Why does everything have to be s.e.xual with you? Have you seriously never had a platonic friendship with a female before?"

He laughed his low raspy laugh. "No, not really. Lea maybe, but she doesn"t count. She belongs to Conner and he"s my buddy. Before that, it"s been a long time."

"Shane, I went on a date with Tucker and you still flirt like crazy with me!" I said exasperated.

"Grace. Don"t you get it? I"m really trying to do this platonic thing here." He sighed, "I just called to see if you were okay about what happened before."

Yeah, sure and I"ll buy that bridge you"re selling me right now, do you take credit or cash? "I"m okay, Shane. Thank you very much for helping me to kick that guy"s b.u.t.t. Oh yeah, and getting in the way of the knife."

"Yeah, when I think back on it now, it looked like you were doing fine by yourself. I just saw all the blood on the guy and I thought he hurt you. I went crazy. How did you fight that guy back? He was like five times your size."

I giggled. Yes, I giggled like a schoolgirl. I"m such an idiot. "I had an older brother who taught me how to protect myself."

"You had a great older brother."

I smiled. "One of the best."

There was a hesitation again. Then he took a deep breath and asked, "Why didn"t you have a good time with Tucker? I figured you didn"t like him, but I don"t understand why you went on a date with him."

I yawned again. "Lea forced me to go on the date. She has this warped vision of us marrying best friends or brothers or something." I sighed heavily, "Tucker is nice enough, but he"s just not my type." I did not want to get into this with Shane.

"And you type is?"

"Not Tucker."

We stayed on the phone until six the next morning, talking about everything and anything. Nothing got too personal, and nothing even remotely provocative. He spoke to me about his music, his songs, and his words. I could have listened to him for another lifetime and then some more. We stayed talking until my phone"s battery was beeping that it was about to die. I appreciated the effort he was making to try to be a friend, I accepted the fact that it was a leap for him, but I was not caving in anytime soon and I hoped he realized that. He never again mentioned that I owed him anything for saving me, but I think that it was unusual for him to lift a finger for anyone else besides his friends. He was more shocked than anyone that he"d done it. I knew in my heart at the end of our conversation that I did need to repay him in some way.

When I sat up groggy the next day at three in the afternoon from the most exquisite dream I"d ever had; I knew exactly what I needed to do. My unconscious mind had conjured up a sleep filled with me playing music, alone in never ending rapture. I was going to audition for Shane"s band. It would only be six weeks until Alex"s casts would come off and then I could go about my own way. I wasn"t sure if there would be more trouble in store for Alex after his arrest, but I figured on the court system in the city to draw out any trials for years to come. Alex most likely spent the night in jail and would be out the next day with only a desk appearance to show up to. I guessed that in six weeks when his casts were off, he wouldn"t still be in jail or anything and he could just jump back in the band again.

The truth was that after listening to Shane play and listening to him on the phone, I wanted to play with him. Besides, this would be my way of thanking him for what he had done and I would be fully clothed while I did it!

Chapter 8.

The apartment was dead silent. I tiptoed down the hallway and into the bathroom trying not to wake Lea. I showered, shaved, scrubbed, and put lotion on, every girlie thing I could think of. I even painted my nails.

Lea was standing in the hallway with her arms across her chest waiting for me when I was done. Mist from the bathroom wafted through the dim light. "Well, the boys are busy tonight with the auditions, so what trouble are we going to get in tonight?" she asked smiling.

"I think I"m about to do something stupid," I said.

Lea grabbed me by the hand, led me down the hall, through my bedroom door, and sat on my bed. "Okay, I hope to G.o.d this has something to do with a hot guy and some toys."

I gave her a wicked smile. "I guess it does. I"m going to the audition."

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