Made To Be Broken

Chapter Thirty-seven.

"Do you really think I"d do that? If I can"t have her, I don"t want to have anything to do with her?"

"Whoo-hoo. Full sentences. I must have touched a nerve there."

"f.u.c.k off. It"s not like that. Her and me. I"m just saying "

"That you hadn"t left her for good. I never said you had. You just wanted to withdraw long enough to get used to the idea that you"d lost your chance. Lick your wounds, suck it in, and bounce back to being her friend and mentor, and be happy with just that."

"I am happy with just just that. It"s all I want." that. It"s all I want."



"Is it? Or is that what you"re telling yourself because you think you never had a shot in the first place? You"d better wake up fast, Jack, or she"s going to settle for Quinn, and let me tell you, it"s settling, because it"s not Quinn she "

I wrenched the tap on full blast, heart pounding.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Evelyn storm into the kitchen. I kept my gaze on the bowl. As good an actor as I was, a blush is something you can"t hide, so I waited until the bowl was full, shut off the tap, then turned "Oh!" I jumped as if just noticing her, water cascading over the edge. "Sorry. The dogs needed water and I couldn"t find an outside tap."

She eyed me. After a moment, she harrumphed and stalked to the coffee machine, clearly unable to tell whether I"d overheard.

"There"s one beside the deck," Jack said.

My jump that time was genuine. I wheeled to see Jack.

"The faucet. By the deck. I"ll show you."

He took me outside and showed me the tap, around the far side of the deck. I wasn"t likely to need it again, but it made a good excuse to get out of the house while Evelyn had her coffee and cooled her heels.

I filled a second bowl of water for the dogs. Then I tossed a ball for them, Jack leaning against the deck, taking a turn if the ball happened to roll past his feet but otherwise just watching.

"See? You do like dogs," he said as I took a break to scratch behind Ginger"s ears.

"Guilty. But you already knew that. And I still don"t need one."

"Good breed." His chin jerked toward the German shepherds. "Guard dog. Smart. Even-tempered. Sticks around property. Run with one? Wouldn"t even need a lead."

I shook my head, picked up the s...o...b..ry ball, and threw it again. We stayed outside for ten minutes, saying little, the silence comfortable. He seemed to a.s.sume I hadn"t heard what Evelyn said. And as for what Evelyn had been about to say when I turned on the tap...?

I tried to tell myself I had no idea what she"d been going to say. I turned it on because I was worried about being caught eavesdropping. And because I wanted to rescue Jack from her pokes and jibes.

But I knew what she"d been going to say. That I"d be settling for Quinn because I wanted someone else. I wanted Jack.

The very thought should make me laugh. At the very least, I should brush it off, the way he"d done when she said he was interested in me. Zero for two, Evelyn. Your romantic radar is a million miles off course. Zero for two, Evelyn. Your romantic radar is a million miles off course.

Instead, the very thought made my heart pound so hard I could barely breathe. And what filled me wasn"t outrage. It was fear stark, heart-stopping, mind-emptying fear.

Fear that she was right. And, as those first numbing blows of terror subsided... the ice-cold knowledge that she was right. Absolutely right.

I said I wanted more from Jack. I wanted him to care more. I wanted to interpret his attention and his gestures as meaning more. More what? what? I"d tried not to think too much about that, just stick a vague label on it more depth to our relationship, more emotion, more... something. I"d tried not to think too much about that, just stick a vague label on it more depth to our relationship, more emotion, more... something.

When Evelyn accused him of having more than a friendly interest in me, it felt like when I was twelve, and Amy told Colin Forbes I liked him. I"d been horrified and hopeful at the same time. But when Colin said he liked me, too, and I realized he"d meant "as a friend," it was the same as hearing Jack"s denial, a small squeeze of disappointment, but mostly relief. My first thought had been that I was disappointed because of simple ego, and relieved because I didn"t want to deal with an unwanted attraction. Now I understood the truth.

I cared about Jack more than I should. I needed him more than I should. I thought about him way more than I wanted to, in ways I definitely didn"t want to. Even to consider a romantic relationship with Jack terrified me. But, apparently, I didn"t need to, because the point was moot. Whatever I felt for him, he didn"t reciprocate. And my overwhelming reaction to that was relief.

Breakfast was typical fare at Evelyn"s more gathered than prepared, with bagels, fruit, cheeses, and store-bought m.u.f.fins. We moved on to discussing angle two of our plan. As Jack had put it, with Fenniger dead, the agency was in the market for a hitman.

"I finally got hold of Honcho yesterday and spun my story, setting up Dee to replace Fenniger," Evelyn said. "I told him I"ve got a new protege. d.a.m.ned good, but with limited work experience. I said I"m getting too old for hand holding and baby steps, but this one doesn"t need it. Doesn"t need to be coddled, either. Whatever the hit is, however messy, this protege can take it and sleep through the night."

I cast a small glance at Jack, but he was kind enough not to snort in derision.

"I said this protege is charming and sociable, which, believe me " She looked at Jack. " can be hard to come by in this business. This one"s not only a people person, but can play it so sweet and sincere you"d hand over your baby while you used the restroom. Easy on the eyes, too, which is always a plus. The only issue I skirted was gender."

She peeled and sliced a banana. "Now I"d say a woman would be perfect for the job. Some guy wants to snap pictures of a pretty girl? Instant perv alert. But no one"s going to consider that with a woman. The problem is that Honcho, being a man, isn"t going to think that way. He"ll think no woman would agree to murder a girl and steal her baby. As if our ovaries would leap through our guts and stay our trigger fingers. s.e.xist morons."

One banana slice, skewered on a knife end, slowly chewed and swallowed before she continued. "So he"ll presume male, which is fine for now. The "charming and good-looking" part would be a plus for any guy trying to lure in a teenage girl."

"And all of this matters... how exactly? It would be a great setup, if if Honcho knew the details of the job." Honcho knew the details of the job."

"Of course he knows the details. With Honcho, it"s a.s.s-covering deluxe, Dee. If he understands the job, he can find the right guy, please the client, and minimize the chance of the pro backing out. The pro thinks he"s covered by the middleman not knowing details, which is great, but also means he can"t complain or negotiate. h.e.l.l, even the client probably doesn"t realize how much Honcho knows. He"s a sneaky b.a.s.t.a.r.d. He"ll weasel out just enough to piece it together for himself."

I glanced at Jack.

He shrugged. "He might. Couldn"t say."

"Well, I can," Evelyn said. "Absolutely and definitely. As I told him all about my protege"s credentials, he tried being cagey, but I could hear drool hitting the receiver. Fenniger has gone AWOL, f.u.c.king up a job and p.i.s.sing off a client. Honcho is desperate he just can"t let on he is. He told me he might have something and he"ll call back tomorrow. Now he"s trying to flush out Fenniger, figuring he"s just gone on a bender. When he can"t find him, he"ll call before he loses the contract completely."

We were finishing breakfast when Quinn phoned to say he was on his way. We"d meet him in Detroit at four and launch the third wave of attack. Three ideas, three paths, one of which we hoped would lead to the information we needed. It was more complicated than I liked, but all of us were under time constraints and couldn"t afford to follow one avenue to a dead end before starting the next.

We took our coffees and moved into the living room as I mentally prepared to deal with the reason I"d been summoned Evelyn"s offer.

Evelyn and I had started our courtship dance last fall. Actually, she"d taken the first step almost three years ago, sending Jack to check out this intriguing new possibility she"d heard about from her former employer and good friend, Frank Toma.s.sini. The invitation was never delivered. Jack met me and decided I"d make a better project for him. So he"d returned to Evelyn, told her it didn"t work out, and kept seeing me on the sly. Then, last fall, she"d met me, decided I hadn"t been irredeemably spoiled by Jack"s tutelage, and begun her campaign of seduction.

She"d started by impressing me with her knowledge and her vast network of contacts. Then she"d wooed me with offers of vigilante work, and promises of a long, storied, and moneyed career pursuing only the cases that would scratch my itch. I"d played coquette, listening to her offers, but wary of the price tag. Mentor and protegee was no marriage of equals for Evelyn. She"d demand unswerving loyalty even servitude and slowly encroach on my regular life until there was nothing left but the job.

I hadn"t refused her outright. I knew she"d be useful, but feared I"d end up the one used. What she was offering was exactly what I wanted, and while I felt I had the maturity and stubbornness to keep my life intact while enjoying her jobs, I was still wary.

All the while, Jack had stood to the side, the third party in this proposal, supporting and advising me, while letting Evelyn know that even if I accepted her offer, he wasn"t stepping aside.

And now, she was back with something new to tempt me.

"Have you ever heard of the Contrapa.s.so Fellowship, Dee?"

"Ah, f.u.c.k."

She shot Jack a glare.

"Contra... ?" I began.

"Contrapa.s.so. It"s from Dante"s Inferno"" Inferno""

"Right," I said. "The punishment fits the crime. The idea that whatever sins you committed will dictate your suffering for eternity. Fortune-tellers walking backward blind. Adulterers stuck together. Sometimes the punishment is ironic, sometimes not."

Evelyn tried to hide her surprise and, maybe, dismay that I wasn"t rendered clueless by her literary reference. I"d been taking college courses for a few years, for a diversion, not a degree at this rate, I"d be fifty before I got got a degree. I"d read the a degree. I"d read the Inferno Inferno last year, so it was still fresh in my memory. But if Evelyn wanted to think I spent my free time reading Dante, let her. last year, so it was still fresh in my memory. But if Evelyn wanted to think I spent my free time reading Dante, let her.

"Yes, that"s it," she said. "Ultimate justice, you might say, which supposedly is the goal of the Contrapa.s.so Fellowship."

"Goal?" Jack made a rude noise. "The goal is entertainment. It"s a story. One of those..." His lips pursed as he searched for the word. "Urban legends."

Evelyn fixed him with a look. "And that means it can"t be true?"

He met her gaze. "That"d be the definition of urban legend."

"And it"s not true because... ?"

"Because it"s not. I"ve been on the street how long? Never run into this "Fellowship." Never met anyone who did. All friend of a friend s.h.i.t."

"So, having never personally encountered proof, it must clearly not exist?" She turned to me. "Have you noticed this about Jack, Dee? He deals only in tangible fact. If he can"t hear it, see it, or touch it, it isn"t there. It doesn"t matter if it"s dead obvious to the rest of the universe. If he can"t prove it, it doesn"t exist."

I sipped my coffee and waited for her to get back on track.

She threw up her hands. "Why am I asking you? It"s like asking the skunk if he"s noticed those other black-and-white vermin smell funny."

"I have no idea what this Contrapa.s.so Fellowship is or isn"t, but Jack"s right. I won"t chase rumors. If it exists, great. I"d love to hear about it."

"If it didn"t exist, why would I bring it to you?"

"One, to get me chasing a rumor that interests you. Two, it"s like the old joke about the guy asking a woman if she"d go to bed with him for a million dollars. You want me to work for you. I say I"m not interested. You offer me something incredible, and I accept it, which proves that I will work for you. You just haven"t found my price."

A low rumble from the other end of the love seat. I turned to see Jack laughing.

"Oh, you liked that, didn"t you?" Evelyn snapped. "You poison her against me, then get a good chuckle out of it?"

He dismissed her with an eye roll. She scowled, but there was no more anger in it than a mother cuffing her son for being cheeky. Evelyn once called Jack her favorite protege, and he"d countered by saying he was just the only one still talking to her. I think there was some truth in both. Jack was her best and most successful student. But he was also probably the only one who saw through her, and didn"t judge what lay beneath. He said, "I won"t feed your ego and I won"t take your bulls.h.i.t, but if you want me to keep coming around, I will." And that was more valuable to Evelyn than the loyalty of any bootlicking sycophant.

I turned to Jack. "What do you know about this Contrapa.s.so Fellowship?"

"Him?" Evelyn squawked. "He doesn"t even believe it exists. You"re stacking the deck, Dee."

"I want to hear the legend first. Then you can tell me what parts of it you"ve heard are true. If Jack"s willing..."

"Sure." He moved to the edge of his seat and took a m.u.f.fin from the plate.

"Oh, G.o.d, this is going to take forever," Evelyn said. "Let me refill my coffee, and you can call me when he works up the energy to speak in full sentences."

She stood, glancing at Jack, as if still willing to hang around if he showed any signs of getting to the story soon. He took a bite of his m.u.f.fin and chewed slowly. She stalked off into the kitchen.

Once she was gone, he put the m.u.f.fin back on the table. "Contrapa.s.so Fellowship? Revenge for hire. Kinda like what Quinn does. Only free."

I knew Quinn didn"t always collect a paycheck, but didn"t say so to Jack this would be a mark of incompetence, not integrity. I could point out that Jack himself wasn"t collecting a paycheck for this job we were doing, but he"d say it wasn"t the same thing.

"Pro bono vigilantism?" I said.

"Anonymous, too. Send them a newspaper clipping? They investigate. Decide whether it deserves attention. Then they pick the punishment. Something fitting the crime."

"They administer their own brand of justice."

"Nah." He propped his injured foot onto Evelyn"s gla.s.s and silver table. "Judge and jury? Yeah. Executioners? No. Get others to do that. They foot the bill."

"Vigilante philanthropists, then."

"Pretty much. Why? Everyone"s got a theory. Rich folks who lost kids. Retired judges watched juries let too many a.s.sholes off. Even heard one about it being cops. Steal drug money to finance it."

"So it"s bulls.h.i.t, isn"t it?"

"Seems to be." His lips parted again, then he rubbed his mouth.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You were going to say more. You"ve heard something, haven"t you?"

"Nah. Just..." He paused, his gaze studying mine with that quiet intensity that said he was trying to get inside my head. "Hear Evelyn out. If there"s anything to it? Check it out. I"ll help."

Chapter Thirty-seven.

"Well, I blew that," I said as I backed the car from the parking lot.

"Nah."

"Nah? She kicked us out of the house without a word about the Contrapa.s.so Fellowship. She"s furious."

"Sulking."

I glanced at him as I merged with morning traffic.

"If she"s really angry?" he said. "You"ll never see it. Acts angry? Just that. An act."

"And she"s sulking because..."

"Wrong reaction."

"I thought you said she was sulking."

A look, mild exasperation. "Your "Your reaction. To her news." reaction. To her news."

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