Xris reached down, gave the small shoulders an affectionate pat. "I"ll be all right," he said. "Don"t worry. I just need some time to myself."
Raoul touched Xris"s hand, his good hand. Raoul"s skin was soft and warm, his nails cool and sharp. He gazed at Xris and the drug-dilated, dream-laden eyes were suddenly sharp and cool as the exquisitely and carefully painted fingernails.
"Hatred is like the twist, my friend. It gave you a sense of well-being, yet all the while it was slowly poisoning you, body and soul." The nails and the eyes dug deep. "You will miss it for a time, Xris Cyborg, but you will be better without it."
"You"re very wise, Raoul," Xris said. "Do you know that?"
"I try not to be," Raoul said with a delicate sigh. "You can"t think how bad wisdom is for the complexion. Sweet dreams."
He kissed the air somewhere around Xris"s left earlobe. Prying loose the Little One, who was in a most pitiable state of unhappiness, Raoul located the front door. He and his small friend drifted out into the night on a wave of gardenia.
CHAPTER 46.
"Somehow I"ll Find My Way Home"
Vangelis, Song t.i.tle.
After everyone was gone, Xris shut and locked the front door. Quong and Darlene had cleaned up the dishes, so that was done. He moved chairs back to their original places, swept the sand off the patio, took down the umbrella from the patio table and stored it in the garage. He watered the plants in the garden.
He would leave the house exactly as he had found it and never come back. He needed one night here, one night sitting on the deck in the beach chair, watching the white foam on the waves, watching their quest to reach the sh.o.r.e, only to break and fall back, break and fall back.
His hand rested on the sliding plastigla.s.s door as he was just about to step outside, when the doorbell buzzed.
"I found your eye shadow, Raoul!" Xris called. "I"ll ship it to you!"
No response. He heard a thump, however, and the sounds of someone moving around on the porch.
"I"ll take the medication you left, Doc," Xris said irritably. "No need to remind me."
The doorbell rang again, this time sounding tentative.
"All right, Harry, I"m coming," Xris said, exasperated.
He flung the door open.
"Now, looka"" Xris stopped, stared.
The porch light shone on a face he knew as well as he knew his own. Knew it better, for he rarely looked at himself in a mirror. The face was older; sorrow and time had filled in the lines with shadows. She was too thin; she"d never gained back the weight she"d lost in the Corasian prison. But Xris had thought her the most beautiful woman he"d ever seen when he"d first met her and he had no reason now to change his opinion.
"Xris!" Marjorie exclaimed, trying very hard to look surprised to find him here.
She had always been a terrible liar. He was reminded of the time he"d come home after months in the hospital, the time she had said she was glad to see him.
"h.e.l.lo, Marjorie," he said.
"I ... uh ... couldn"t find my keys," she said with a strained little laugh. "I ... I saw the light and thought ... that maybe..."
"I guess I don"t need to invite you inside." Xris reached down to pick up her luggage. "It"s your house."
"Our house, Xris," Marjorie said softly. "Didn"t you recognize it?"
He didn"t answer, turned away. "Look, I was just shutting things up, getting ready to go back to the hotel. Thanks for the loan of the house. I hope we didn"t mess it up too much. I"ll put your luggage in the bedrooma""
"Xris," Marjorie said, reaching out and touching his arma"his cybernetic arm. "What"s wrong? I know something"s wrong! Amadi told mea""
He looked back at her. "Amadi?"
"Oh dear," she said, putting her hand over her mouth. "I wasn"t supposed to say anything."
"He told you to come back," Xris said grimly. "Come back to your pathetic wreck of a husband."
"No, he didn"t. He told me you were in some kind of trouble. And I had another note from Rowan saying the same thinga""
Xris reached again for a twist, saw that his hand was shaking, and shoved his hand in the pocket of his fatigues "What about your studies?" he asked, his voice sounding harsh and gruff.
She shook her head. "My grades weren"t all that good anyway."
"Liar," he said. "You had a scholarship. It was what you"d always wanted. It was important to you. You shouldn"t have left."
"You"re important to me, Xris," Marjorie said softly. Her hand found his handa"his cybernetic hand. Her fingers locked over his, twined around them. "I"m sorry for what happened all those years ago, Xris. I"m sorry for hurting you. I tried to tell you that time you saved my life in the Corasian prison, but you wouldn"t listen."
Hatred ... slow poison...
"I"ve hated myself ever since then," she continued. "I"ve tried to understand why I acted that way and I have no excuse to offer. I hurt you, hurt you terribly, and I"m sorry. So very sorry."
"It was my fault," he said, and he realized for the first time in all these years that it really was. "You were only reacting to me. You did what I wanted you to do. I repulsed you, because I repulsed myself." He broke free of her grip. "I"ll go get my thingsa""
"You don"t have to leave, Xris," she said. "I wish you wouldn"t. Whatever kind of trouble you"re in, we"ll work it out."
He started to tell her that he wasn"t in any troublea"that a meddling old man and a meddling best friend had taken pity on him and...
His hand reached again for the twist.
"Here," said Marjorie, opening her handbag. "Try a peppermint."
"Quong, too, huh?" Xris asked.
Marjorie flushed. "And Harry Luck," she admitted. "And I had such a nice note from his mother. Mrs. Luck said thata""
Xris began to laugh. He laughed until the tears crept from beneath the eyelid of his one good eyea"the other eye teared only on thirty-second cycles.
He put his arma"his good arma"around his wife.
"There"s some salad left in the fridge," he said. "I"ll split it with you."
end.