"You spared me much. Your uncle would never have consented. But oh, Jock! I"m not a Spartan mother. My heart _will_ bound."
"My colonel said it was right," said Jock; "so did Cameron, and even Sir James, though he did not like it."
"With such an array of old soldiers on our side we may let the young ladies rage," said his mother, but she checked her mirth on seeing how far from a joke their indignation was to her son.
He turned and looked into the fire as he said--
"When did Sydney write that letter, mother?"
"Before meeting you at the wedding. She has not written since."
"I thought not," muttered Jock, his brow against the mantel-piece.
"No, but Mrs. Evelyn has written such a nice letter, just like herself, though I did not understand it then. I think she was doubtful how much I knew, for she only said how thankworthy it must be to have such a self-sacrificing spirit among my sons, moral courage, in fact, of the highest kind, and how those who were lavish of strong words in their first disappointment would be wiser by-and-by. I was puzzled then. But oh, my dear, this must have been very grievous to you!"
"I couldn"t go back, but I did not know how it would be," said Jock, in a choked voice, collapsing at last, and hiding his face on his mother"s lap.
"My Jock, I am so sorry! I wish it were not too late. I could not have let you give up so much," and she fondled his head. "I did not think I had been so weak as to let you see."
"No, mother. It was not that you were so weak, but that you were so brave. Besides, I ought to take the brunt of it. I ruined you all by being the prime mover with that a.s.sification, and I was the cause of Armie"s illness too. I ought to take my share. If ever I can be any good to any one again," he added, in a dejected tone.
"Good!--unspeakably good! This is my first bright spot of light through the wood. If it were but bright to you! I am afraid they have been very unkind."
"Not unkind. _She_ couldn"t be that, but I"ve shocked and disappointed her," and his head dropped again.
"What, in not being a hero? My dear, you are a true hero in the eyes of us old mothers; but I am afraid that is poor comfort. My Jock, does it go so deep as that? Giving up _all_ that for me! O my boy!"
"It is nonsense to talk of giving up," said Jock, rousing himself to a common-sense view. "What chance had I of her if I had gone to India ten times over?" but the wave of grief broke over him again. "She would have believed in me, and, may be, have waited."
"She will believe in you again."
"No, I"m below her."
"My poor boy, I didn"t know it had come to this. Do you mean that anything had ever pa.s.sed between you?"
"No, but it was all the same. Even Evelyn implied it, when he said they must give me up, if we took such different lines."
"Cecil too! Foolish fellow! Jock, don"t care about such absurdity. They are not worth it."
"They"ve been the best of my life," said poor Jock, but he stood up, shook himself, and said, "A nice way this of helping you! I didn"t think I was such a fool. But it is over now. I"ll buckle to, and do my best."
"My brave boy!" and as the thought of the Magnum Bonum darted into her mind, she said, "You may have greater achievements than are marked by Victoria Crosses, and Sydney herself may own it."
And Jock went to bed, cheered in spite of himself by his mother"s pleasure, and by Mrs. Evelyn"s letter, which she allowed him to take away with him.
Colonel Brownlow was not so much distressed by Lucas"s retirement as had been apprehended. He knew the life of a soldier with small means too well to recommend it. The staff appointment, he said, might mean anything or nothing, and could only last a short time unless Lucas had extraordinary opportunities. It might be as well, he was very like his grandfather, poor John Allen, and might have had his history over again.
The likeness was a new idea to Caroline and a great pleasure to her.
Indeed, she seemed to Armine unfeelingly joyous, as she accepted Mr.
Ogilvie"s invitation, and hurried her preparations. There was a bare possibility of a return in the spring, which prevented final farewells, and softened partings a little. The person who showed most grief of all was Mrs. Robert Brownlow, who, glad as she must have been to be free of Bobus and able to recall her daughter, wept over her sister-in-law as if she had been going into the workhouse, with tears partly penitent for the involuntary ingrat.i.tude with which past kindness had been received.
She was, as Babie said, much more sorry for Mother Carey than Mother Carey for herself.
Yet the relief was all the greater that it was plain that Esther was not happy in her banishment; and that General Hood thought her visit had lasted long enough, while the matter was complicated at home by her sister Eleanor"s undisguised sympathy with her cousin Bobus, for whom she would have sent messages if her mother had not, with some difficulty exacted a promise never to allude to him in her letters.
CHAPTER x.x.xIII. -- BITTER FAREWELLS.
But he who lets his feelings run In soft luxurious flow Shrinks when hard service must be done And faints at every woe.
J. H. Newman.
Welcome shone in Mr. Ogilvie"s face in the gaslight on the platform as the train drew up, and the Popinjay in her cage was handed out, uttering, "Hic, haec, hoc. We"re all Mother Carey"s chicks."
Therewith the mother and the two youngest of her chicks were handed to their fly, and driven, through raindrops and splashes flashing in the gas, to a door where the faithful Emma awaited them, and conveyed them to a room so bright and comfortable that Babie piteously exclaimed--
"Oh, Emma, you have left me nothing to do!"
Presently came Mr. Ogilvie to make sure that the party needed nothing.
He was like a child hovering near, and constantly looking to a.s.sure himself of the reality of some precious acquisition.
Later in the evening, on his way from the night-school, he was at the door again to leave a parish magazine with a list of services that ought to have rejoiced Armine"s heart, if he had felt capable of enjoying anything at St. Cradocke"s, and at which Babie looked with some dismay, as if fearing that they would all be inflicted on her. He was in a placid, martyr-like state. He had made up his mind that the air was of the relaxing sort that disagreed with him, and no doubt would be fatal, though as he coughed rather less than more, he could hardly hope to edify Bobus by his death-bed, unless he could expedite matters by breaking a blood-vessel in saving someone"s life. On the whole, however, it was pleasanter to pity himself for vague possibilities than to apprehend the crisis as immediate. It was true that he was very forlorn.
He missed the admiring petting by which Miss Parsons had fostered his morbid state; he missed the occupations she had given him, and he missed the luxurious habits of wealth far more than he knew. After his winters under genial skies, close to blue Mediterranean waves, English weather was trying; and, in contrast with southern scenery, people, and art, everything seemed ugly, homely, and vulgar in his eyes. Gorgeous Cathedrals with their High Ma.s.ses and sweet Benedictions, their bannered processions and kneeling peasantry, rose in his memory as he beheld the half restored Church, the stiff, open seats, and the Philistine precision of the St. Cradocke"s Old Church congregation; and Anglicanism shared his distaste, in spite of the fascinations of the district Church.
He was languid and inert, partly from being confined to the house on days of doubtful character. He would not prepare any work for Bobus, who, with Jock, was to follow in ten days, he would not second Babie"s wish to get up a St. Cradocke"s number of the "Traveller"s Joy," to challenge a Madeira one; he did little but turn over a few books, say there was nothing to read, and exchange long letters with Miss Parsons.
"Armine," said Mr. Ogilvie, "I never let my friends come into my parish without getting work out of them. I have a request to make you."
"I"m afraid I am not equal to much," said Armine, not graciously.
"This is not much. We have a lame boy here for the winter, son to a cabinet maker in London. His mind is set on being a pupil-teacher, and he is a clever, bright fellow, but his chance depends on his keeping up his work. I have been looking over his Latin and French, but I have not time to do so properly, and it would be a great kindness if you would undertake it."
"Can"t he go to school?" said Armine, not graciously.
"It is much too far off. Now he is only round the corner here."
"My going out is so irregular," said Armine, not by any means as he would have accepted a behest of Petronella"s.
"He could often come here. Or perhaps the Infanta would fetch and carry.
He is with an uncle, a fisherman, and the wife keeps a little shop.
Stagg is the name. They are very respectable people, but of a lower stamp than this lad, and he is rather lost for want of companionship.
The London doctors say his recovery depends on sea air for the winter, so here he is, and whatever you can do for him will be a real good work."
"What is the name?" asked Mrs. Brownlow.
"Stagg. It is over a little grocery shop. You must ask for Percy Stagg."