Kennicott apologized for her: "Carrie"s nuts about this Russian revolution. Is there much to it, Perce?"
"There is not!" Bresnahan said flatly. "I can speak by the book there.
Carol, honey, I"m surprised to find you talking like a New York Russian Jew, or one of these long-hairs! I can tell you, only you don"t need to let every one in on it, this is confidential, I got it from a man who"s close to the State Department, but as a matter of fact the Czar will be back in power before the end of the year. You read a lot about his retiring and about his being killed, but I know he"s got a big army back of him, and he"ll show these d.a.m.n agitators, lazy beggars hunting for a soft berth bossing the poor goats that fall for "em, he"ll show "em where they get off!"
Carol was sorry to hear that the Czar was coming back, but she said nothing. The others had looked vacant at the mention of a country so far away as Russia. Now they edged in and asked Bresnahan what he thought about the Packard car, investments in Texas oil-wells, the comparative merits of young men born in Minnesota and in Ma.s.sachusetts, the question of prohibition, the future cost of motor tires, and wasn"t it true that American aviators put it all over these Frenchmen?
They were glad to find that he agreed with them on every point.
As she heard Bresnahan announce, "We"re perfectly willing to talk to any committee the men may choose, but we"re not going to stand for some outside agitator b.u.t.ting in and telling us how we"re going to run our plant!" Carol remembered that Jackson Elder (now meekly receiving New Ideas) had said the same thing in the same words.
While Sam Clark was digging up from his memory a long and immensely detailed story of the crushing things he had said to a Pullman porter, named George, Bresnahan hugged his knees and rocked and watched Carol.
She wondered if he did not understand the laboriousness of the smile with which she listened to Kennicott"s account of the "good one he had on Carrie," that marital, coyly improper, ten-times-told tale of how she had forgotten to attend to Hugh because she was "all het up pounding the box"--which may be translated as "eagerly playing the piano." She was certain that Bresnahan saw through her when she pretended not to hear Kennicott"s invitation to join a game of cribbage. She feared the comments he might make; she was irritated by her fear.
She was equally irritated, when the motor returned through Gopher Prairie, to find that she was proud of sharing in Bresnahan"s kudos as people waved, and Juanita Haydock leaned from a window. She said to herself, "As though I cared whether I"m seen with this fat phonograph!"
and simultaneously, "Everybody has noticed how much Will and I are playing with Mr. Bresnahan."
The town was full of his stories, his friendliness, his memory for names, his clothes, his trout-flies, his generosity. He had given a hundred dollars to Father Klubok the priest, and a hundred to the Reverend Mr. Zitterel the Baptist minister, for Americanization work.
At the Bon Ton, Carol heard Nat Hicks the tailor exulting:
"Old Perce certainly pulled a good one on this fellow Bjornstam that always is shooting off his mouth. He"s supposed to of settled down since he got married, but Lord, those fellows that think they know it all, they never change. Well, the Red Swede got the grand razz handed to him, all right. He had the nerve to breeze up to Perce, at Dave Dyer"s, and he said, he said to Perce, "I"ve always wanted to look at a man that was so useful that folks would pay him a million dollars for existing," and Perce gave him the once-over and come right back, "Have, eh?" he says.
"Well," he says, "I"ve been looking for a man so useful sweeping floors that I could pay him four dollars a day. Want the job, my friend?" Ha, ha, ha! Say, you know how lippy Bjornstam is? Well for once he didn"t have a thing to say. He tried to get fresh, and tell what a rotten town this is, and Perce come right back at him, "If you don"t like this country, you better get out of it and go back to Germany, where you belong!" Say, maybe us fellows didn"t give Bjornstam the horse-laugh though! Oh, Perce is the white-haired boy in this burg, all rightee!"
V
Bresnahan had borrowed Jackson Elder"s motor; he stopped at the Kennicotts"; he bawled at Carol, rocking with Hugh on the porch, "Better come for a ride."
She wanted to snub him. "Thanks so much, but I"m being maternal."
"Bring him along! Bring him along!" Bresnahan was out of the seat, stalking up the sidewalk, and the rest of her protests and dignities were feeble.
She did not bring Hugh along.
Bresnahan was silent for a mile, in words, But he looked at her as though he meant her to know that he understood everything she thought.
She observed how deep was his chest.
"Lovely fields over there," he said.
"You really like them? There"s no profit in them."
He chuckled. "Sister, you can"t get away with it. I"m onto you. You consider me a big bluff. Well, maybe I am. But so are you, my dear--and pretty enough so that I"d try to make love to you, if I weren"t afraid you"d slap me."
"Mr. Bresnahan, do you talk that way to your wife"s friends? And do you call them "sister"?"
"As a matter of fact, I do! And I make "em like it. Score two!" But his chuckle was not so rotund, and he was very attentive to the ammeter.
In a moment he was cautiously attacking: "That"s a wonderful boy, Will Kennicott. Great work these country pract.i.tioners are doing. The other day, in Washington, I was talking to a big scientific shark, a professor in Johns Hopkins medical school, and he was saying that no one has ever sufficiently appreciated the general pract.i.tioner and the sympathy and help he gives folks. These crack specialists, the young scientific fellows, they"re so c.o.c.ksure and so wrapped up in their laboratories that they miss the human element. Except in the case of a few freak diseases that no respectable human being would waste his time having, it"s the old doc that keeps a community well, mind and body. And strikes me that Will is one of the steadiest and clearest-headed counter pract.i.tioners I"ve ever met. Eh?"
"I"m sure he is. He"s a servant of reality."
"Come again? Um. Yes. All of that, whatever that is... . Say, child, you don"t care a whole lot for Gopher Prairie, if I"m not mistaken."
"Nope."
"There"s where you"re missing a big chance. There"s nothing to these cities. Believe me, I KNOW! This is a good town, as they go. You"re lucky to be here. I wish I could shy on!"
"Very well, why don"t you?"
"Huh? Why--Lord--can"t get away fr----"
"You don"t have to stay. I do! So I want to change it. Do you know that men like you, prominent men, do quite a reasonable amount of harm by insisting that your native towns and native states are perfect? It"s you who encourage the denizens not to change. They quote you, and go on believing that they live in paradise, and----" She clenched her fist.
"The incredible dullness of it!"
"Suppose you were right. Even so, don"t you think you waste a lot of thundering on one poor scared little town? Kind of mean!"
"I tell you it"s dull. DULL!"
"The folks don"t find it dull. These couples like the Haydocks have a high old time; dances and cards----"
"They don"t. They"re bored. Almost every one here is. Vacuousness and bad manners and spiteful gossip--that"s what I hate."
"Those things--course they"re here. So are they in Boston! And every place else! Why, the faults you find in this town are simply human nature, and never will be changed."
"Perhaps. But in a Boston all the good Carols (I"ll admit I have no faults) can find one another and play. But here--I"m alone, in a stale pool--except as it"s stirred by the great Mr. Bresnahan!"
"My Lord, to hear you tell it, a fellow "d think that all the denizens, as you impolitely call "em, are so confoundedly unhappy that it"s a wonder they don"t all up and commit suicide. But they seem to struggle along somehow!"
"They don"t know what they miss. And anybody can endure anything. Look at men in mines and in prisons."
He drew up on the south sh.o.r.e of Lake Minniemashie. He glanced across the reeds reflected on the water, the quiver of wavelets like crumpled tinfoil, the distant sh.o.r.es patched with dark woods, silvery oats and deep yellow wheat. He patted her hand. "Sis----Carol, you"re a darling girl, but you"re difficult. Know what I think?"
"Yes."
"Humph. Maybe you do, but----My humble (not too humble!) opinion is that you like to be different. You like to think you"re peculiar. Why, if you knew how many tens of thousands of women, especially in New York, say just what you do, you"d lose all the fun of thinking you"re a lone genius and you"d be on the band-wagon whooping it up for Gopher Prairie and a good decent family life. There"s always about a million young women just out of college who want to teach their grandmothers how to suck eggs."
"How proud you are of that homely rustic metaphor! You use it at "banquets" and directors" meetings, and boast of your climb from a humble homestead."
"Huh! You may have my number. I"m not telling. But look here: You"re so prejudiced against Gopher Prairie that you overshoot the mark; you antagonize those who might be inclined to agree with you in some particulars but----Great guns, the town can"t be all wrong!"
"No, it isn"t. But it could be. Let me tell you a fable. Imagine a cavewoman complaining to her mate. She doesn"t like one single thing; she hates the damp cave, the rats running over her bare legs, the stiff skin garments, the eating of half-raw meat, her husband"s bushy face, the constant battles, and the worship of the spirits who will hoodoo her unless she gives the priests her best claw necklace. Her man protests, "But it can"t all be wrong!" and he thinks he has reduced her to absurdity. Now you a.s.sume that a world which produces a Percy Bresnahan and a Velvet Motor Company must be civilized. It is? Aren"t we only about half-way along in barbarism? I suggest Mrs. Bogart as a test. And we"ll continue in barbarism just as long as people as nearly intelligent as you continue to defend things as they are because they are."
"You"re a fair spieler, child. But, by golly, I"d like to see you try to design a new manifold, or run a factory and keep a lot of your fellow reds from Czech-slovenski-magyar-G.o.dknowswheria on the job! You"d drop your theories so darn quick! I"m not any defender of things as they are.
Sure. They"re rotten. Only I"m sensible."
He preached his gospel: love of outdoors, Playing the Game, loyalty to friends. She had the neophyte"s shock of discovery that, outside of tracts, conservatives do not tremble and find no answer when an iconoclast turns on them, but retort with agility and confusing statistics.