_Fear_ is one of the harmful negative or depressing emotions. Fear, like all other depressing emotions, poisons the body. This is not said in a figurative sense. It is an actual scientific fact; it has been demonstrated chemically. Were it not for the fact that the lungs, skin, kidneys and the bowels are constantly removing poisons from the body, an acute attack of fear would prove fatal.
Fear or fright is largely a habit. The parents are often responsible for this affliction. It is far too common for them to scare their children.
They people the darkness with all kinds of danger and with horrible shapes, and the children, with their vivid imaginations, magnify these.
Children should be taught to meet all conditions in life courageously and fear should not be instilled into their minds. There is a great deal of difference between fear and the caution which all must learn or perish early.
The caution that is implanted in the human breast is our heritage from the ages and works for our preservation. It was necessary during the infancy of the race when man had to struggle with the animals for supremacy. Beyond this point fear is a health-destroyer.
There are people who cultivate fear until they imagine they are ever in danger. They fear that they may lose their health, their mind, their good name. Some are afraid of many things. Others have one pet fear.
Today the fear of the unseen is strong in the public mind. I refer to the fear of germs, those tiny plants which are so small that the unaided eye can not see them. Children are shown moving pictures of these tiny beings, enormously enlarged and very formidable in appearance. They are told to beware, for these germs are in our food, in our drink, on the earth, in the air, in fact everywhere that man lives.
It is very harmful to scare the young thus, for it inhibits physical action and stunts the mind. How much better it would be to teach the children these truths about the germs: "Yes, there are germs in our foods and beverages. They are on the earth, in the water and in the air.
They are necessary for our existence. If we take good care of our bodies and direct our minds in proper channels, these germs will not, in fact, can not harm us. If we do not take care of ourselves, but allow our bodies to fill with debris, the germs try to clean this away; they multiply and grow into great armies while doing it, for they thrive on waste. It is our fault, not the fault of the germs, that we allow our bodies to degenerate. The germs are our good friends and if we treat ourselves properly they will do all they can to help keep the water, the earth and the air in fit condition for our use."
Such teachings have the advantage of being true. They are helpful and healthful. The popular teachings are disease-producing. The mental depression and bodily inhibition caused by fear are injurious. Those who fear a certain kind of disease often bring this ill upon themselves, so powerful is suggestion. The fear is more dangerous than the thing feared.
In fear there is loss of both physical and mental power. Not only the voluntary muscles become impotent, but the involuntary ones lose in effectiveness. Digestion is partly or wholly suspended. "Scared stiff"
is a popular and truthful expression. The bodily rhythm is lost, the breathing becomes jerky and the heart beats out of tune.
Keep fear out of the lives of babes. If children are taught the truth, there will be little fear in adult minds. Children should not be taught prayers in which there is an element of fear. It is much better to bring children up to love other people and G.o.d than to fear.
Those who have cultivated fear should try suggestion. Positive suggestion is always best. Let them a.n.a.lyze matters thus: "I have feared daily and nightly. Nothing has happened. I have brought much unnecessary discomfort upon myself. There is nothing to fear and I shall be brave hereafter." Those who fear G.o.d have a low conception of Him. Let them remember the beautiful saying that "G.o.d is love." Through repeating them often enough, such positive suggestions sink so deeply into the mind that they replace doubts and fears.
About 2500 years ago Pythagoras wrote: "Hate and fear breed a poison in the blood, which, if continued, affect eyes, ears, nose and the organs of digestion. Therefore, it is not wise to hear and remember the unkind things that others may say of us." Pythagoras was an ancient philosopher, but his words express modern scientific truths.
_Worry_: Worrying is perhaps the most common and the worst of our mental sins. Worry is like a cancer: It eats in and in. It is destructive of both body and mind. It is due largely to lack of self-control and is a symptom of cowardice. Much worry is also indicative of great selfishness, which most of those afflicted will deny. Those who worry much are always in poor health, which grows progressively worse. The form of indigestion accompanied by great acidity and gas formation is a prolific source of worry, as well as of other mental and physical troubles. The acidity irritates the nervous system and the irritation in time causes mental depression.
Confirmed worriers will worry about the weather, the past, the present, the future, about work and about play, about food, clothing and drink, about those who are present and those who are absent. Nothing escapes them and they bring sadness and woe in their wake.
Worrying is slow suicide.
Elbert Hubbard says that our most serious troubles are those that never happen.
Worrying is a very futile employment, for it never does any good, and it reacts evilly upon the one who indulges in it, and those with whom he a.s.sociates. It is a waste of time and energy. The energy thus used could be directed into useful channels.
Let those who are afflicted with this bad and annoying habit get into good physical condition. Then many of the worries will take wing. If they persist, it would be well to face the matter frankly and honestly, setting down the advantages of worrying on one side and the disadvantages on the other. Then take into consideration that not one thing in a thousand worried about happens, and if something disagreeable does occur, worrying can not prevent it. Besides a disagreeable happening now and then will not cause half of the discomfort and trouble that a disturbed mind does.
"And this too shall pa.s.s away," is an ancient saying which it would be well to remember in conjunction with, "And this will probably never happen."
_Anger_ is a form of temporary insanity. It is an emotion that is unbecoming in strong men, for it is a sign of weakness, and the women who indulge in it frequently can not long keep the respect of others.
Those who become angry lay themselves open to wounds of all kinds, for they partly lose their mental and physical faculties temporarily. An angry man is easily vanquished in any contest where ready wit is necessary. As the saying is, he makes a fool of himself. To be high strung and quick to lose one"s temper may sound fine in romantic rubbish, but in real life it is folly, for much more can be accomplished by being calm.
Like hatred, anger produces poisons in the system. An angry mother"s milk has been known to kill the nursing child. A fit of anger is so serious that the evil effects can be felt for several days, and those who indulge in daily or even weekly loss of temper can not enjoy the best of health, for the anger produces enough toxins to poison all the fluids of the body.
Fortunately, anger is one of the emotions that can be conquered in a reasonable time, if there is a real desire to do so. It should not take an adult more than one or two years to get himself under control.
During anger there is a tensing of various muscles, those of the face and hands for instance. If this tensing is not allowed the anger will not last long. If there is a tendency to become angry, relax and the mind will ease up. A perfectly relaxed individual can not harbor anger, for this emotion requires tensing of body and mind. A determination to control the temper and a whole-hearted apology after each display of anger will prove very effective in reducing the frequency and force of the attacks. Mental suggestion is not as powerful as some say, but it is such a great force for good or evil, depending on its use, that those who are wise will not neglect it as a means of self-conquest.
People who are easily offended and "stand on their dignity," have a very poor footing. Those who find it necessary to inform others that they are ladies or gentlemen, are very apt to be prejudiced in their own favor.
Gentlefolks do not need to advertise, nor do they do so. Others recognize their worth intuitively.
_Fretting_ is anger on a small scale. It is a habit that is easily formed. The fretter and those about him are made uncomfortable. Those who respect themselves and others do not indulge.
_Hatred_ is one of the most harmful and poisonous of emotions.
Fortunately, violent hatred can last but a short time, otherwise it would prove fatal. Some are chronic haters. He who hates harms himself.
The thoughts weave themselves into one"s personality and form the character.
_Jealousy_ is one of the most disagreeable of emotions. The jealous person insists on suffering. A jealous woman can convert a home into an inferno. Jealousy is sure to kill love in time. The jealous individual often excuses himself on the ground that he loves. That is not true.
There is more fear than love at the base of jealousy. Jealous people are selfish and too indolent mentally to give their thoughts a positive direction.
Those who are violently jealous are suffering from mental aberration.
The jealous person loses, for he drives away the object of his affection.
There are many jealous men, but women suffer most. Bad health and idleness are two prolific causes of jealousy. It has probably broken up more homes than any other one thing. It is blighting to all it touches.
Men and women may feel flattered for a time by producing jealousy, but it is a satisfaction of very short duration. They soon grow weary of the questions, doubts and reproaches.
Those who are sensible enough to give freely to others the liberty they crave for themselves do not suffer much from this emotion. It would help greatly if man and wife would look upon the marriage relation more as a partnership and less as a form of bondage. One of the partners can not force the other one to be "good." People do the best by others when full confidence is given, and even if the confidence should be misplaced, it would be better than to suffer from this corroding emotion at all times.
It is not an easy task to overcome jealousy, but it can be done within a reasonable time if there is a real desire. First get physical health.
Then get busy with interesting, useful work. Get something worth while to occupy the mind and the hands. Determine to be master of yourself and not a slave to what is often but figments of the imagination.
Unfortunately, jealousy so dwarfs the judgment at times that the sufferers seek only to rule or ruin. Love and hate are so closely akin that it is hard to find the dividing line.
_Sorrow_: Some dedicate their lives to a sorrow. They make martyrs of themselves. They have suffered a loss and they dwell upon it during all of their waking hours. It may be that it was a very ordinary or worthless husband or child. After death the poor real is converted into a glorious ideal. With the pa.s.sing years the virtues of the departed grow. All the love and tenderness are lavished upon the dead and the living are neglected. It is generally women who suffer from this peculiar form of mild insanity, but men are not exempt.
It is natural to feel the loss of a dear one, but so long as we are mortal we must accept these things as matters of course.
Related to this form of sorrow is the regretting or brooding over past actions, especially in connection with the dead. Perhaps something that should have been done was neglected, or something was done that should have been left undone. Over this the sufferer broods by the hour, leading to a form of sad resignation that is rather irritating to normal people.
For such people a change of interest and a change of scene will often prove very beneficial.
_Envy_ and _spite_ are closely akin to jealousy and anger. They have the same effect in lesser degree.
_Vacillation of mind_ is a common fault. Many small questions have to be settled and a few important ones. Some are in the habit of deferring their decisions from time to time, or making and revoking their decisions. Then they decide over again, after which there is another revocation. This is repeated until it is absolutely necessary to make a final decision. By this time the mind is so muddled that the chances are that the last decision will be inferior to the first one. No one who leads an active life can be right all the time. He who is right six times out of ten does pretty well, and he who can make a correct decision three times out of four can command a fine salary as an executive or build up a flourishing business of his own, if his mind is active.
The doubt and uncertainty which result from unsettled questions, which should be promptly decided, are more harmful than an occasional error.
The untroubled mind works most quickly and truly.
Related to this in minor key is the doubtful condition of mind where the individual has to do things several times before he is sure they are properly done. For instance, there is the man who must try the office door several times to be sure that it is locked and after being satisfied on this point he is obliged to unlock it and investigate the condition of the safe door. Then it is necessary to attend to the office door two or three times again. This kind of doubtfulness takes many forms. It does no special harm except that it leads to much waste of time. Such people should teach themselves concentration, thinking about one thing only at a time, until they learn that when a thing is done it is properly done.
_Judging_: Many insist on pa.s.sing judgment on everything and everybody that come to their notice. Every individual has to be placed with the sheep or the goats. This is a great waste of time. Each one of us can know so little about the majority of individuals we meet and of the vast volume of knowledge that is to be had that if we try to judge everyone and everything, our opinions become worthless. Wise people are never afraid to say, "I don"t know." If it is necessary to judge, let there be kindness.
_Volunteering advice_: This is another annoying habit. It is very well to give advice if it is desired and asked for, otherwise it is a waste of time. Take a person with a cold, for example: If he meets twenty people he may be told of fifteen different cures for it, ranging from goose grease on a red rag to suggestive therapeutics. If he were to act upon all the advice received there would probably be a funeral. It is best to be sparing with advice. Those who have any that is worth while will be asked for it and paid for their trouble. Free advice is generally worth what it costs.
_Cranks_: Many allow themselves to get into a mental rut with their thoughts running almost entirely to one subject. This is a mild form of insanity, for normal people have many interests. These people are the cranks. They can talk volumes about their favorite topic, often of no importance. It may be some peculiar religion or ethics; or that Bacon wrote the plays of Shakespeare; or some health fad, or almost any subject.
Of all the cranks the diet crank is one of the most annoying, for he has three good opportunities to air his views each day. With the best meaning in the world he does more harm to the cause of food reform than do the advocates of living in the good old way, eating, drinking and being merry and dying young. When people become possessed of too much zeal and enthusiasm regarding a subject, they are sure that their knowledge is the truth and they insist upon trying to enforce their way upon others, resent having their old habits interfered with forcibly.
Those who are too persistent and insistent produce antagonism and prejudice in the minds of others, and then it is almost impossible to impart the truth to them, for they will neither see nor hear.