Obedience to the reasonable requests of the parents is of the greatest importance in the successful raising of children. Parents should realize this even before the children are born. From the first, be firm, though gentle, with the little ones. Children should be so trained that when they are requested to do a thing, they do it immediately without any repet.i.tion. This will save both them and the parents many an unhappy hour.
The lives of many parents and many children are made miserable from lack of a little parental firmness at the start.
There are many little graces that are not vital, yet they are important, and these should be taught children early, for then they become second nature. Among these are good table manners. Ungainly table manners have no bearing on the health, but they give an unfavorable impression to others. We are partly judged by the presence or absence of such little graces.
Training children is like training trees. A sapling can be made to grow in the desired way, but after a few years it will not respond to training. The period of infancy is plastic, and then is the time to plant the seeds in the child"s mind and teach good habits.
It is not difficult to train the children. If the parents are orderly and firm, instead of wavering, the children almost intuitively fall into line. Teach them to obey and they will later be able to command intelligently and considerately.
The babies are helpless at first. This softens the hearts of the parents toward them until they become very indulgent. Indulging and pampering children are bad for them. Kindness consists in doing for them what is for their good, which is not always what they desire.
If the children are properly trained at first, they need very little training later on.
CHAPTER XXVII.
CHILDREN.
Statistics are generally very dry and uninteresting, but at times they take on a tragic interest, and the importance of the few submitted here is so great that they should command careful attention.
The definite figures used are taken from the Mortality Statistics, United States Census, and they cover the year 1912, which is the last year for which we have definite information. Reliable mortality statistics are given only in a part of the country, which is not to our credit. The population is reported in the volume as 92,309,348. The registration area, which is the area giving mortality statistics, contains 53,843,896 people. In this area the total deaths are as follows:
Under one year.............. 154,373 Under ten years............. 235,262
Taking it for granted that the infant and child mortality among the unregistered people is the same, we get the following number of deaths annually among children in the United States, in round numbers:
Under one year.............. 280,000 Under ten years............. 425,000
This is a very conservative estimate and 300,000 is usually given as the number of deaths annually among babies under the age of one year.
Even under ideal conditions a baby would occasionally die, but the deaths would be so rare that they would be the cause of surprised comment. Some become parents who have no right to be, and they bring children into the world who are not physically fit to survive, and these generally die within a few days or weeks of birth. However, these babies are but a small minority and at least ninety-nine out of a hundred should survive. Not one baby born physically fit would die if intelligently cared for, and the fact that each year we lose over one-fourth million infants under one year of age in the United States is an indictment of our lives and intelligence, and a challenge to better our ways.
Every child that is brought into the world should be given an opportunity to live. This is far from the case today. Children are so handicapped that they are stunted in body and blunted in mind, if they survive.
Suppose that every ten years an army of 4,250,000 men and women between the ages of twenty and thirty were destroyed at one time in this country! The indignation, sorrow and horror would be so great that a means would soon be found to end the periodic slaughter.
But we allow this many children under ten to be destroyed every ten years. The slaughter of the innocents does not bring forth much protest, because we are so used to it, and the babies go one by one, all over the country. The procession to the grave gives rise to this thought: "The little one is better off. Now he will suffer no more. It is the will of Providence." This is a libel on Providence, for this enormous mortality is due to parental mistakes, mistakes made mostly through ignorance, but blamable all the same. It behooves parents to obtain knowledge that will prevent such costly and fatal errors. Nature"s law is the same as man"s rule in this that ignorance of the law excuses no one. The results are the same whether we err knowingly or ignorantly.
It is difficult to teach people to treat their babies properly, because nearly all the information on the subject is so erroneous. When a teacher brings forth the truth but few accept it, for the vast majority are on the other side. Those parents who accept the truth find it difficult, to put it into practice, for every hand is against them. It takes more strength of character and moral courage than the average individual possesses to withstand the criticism of neighbors, friends, relatives and medical advisers.
The few who have the courage of their convictions and the right knowledge reap a rich harvest. They have babies who are well. They see their children grow up with sound bodies and clear minds. They are saved much of the worry which is the lot of parents of children raised according to conventional standards. Last, but by no means least, they have the satisfaction of giving to the race individuals who are better than their parents or the grandparents. There is much opportunity for human improvement, and the improvement will take place automatically, if we do not prevent it by going contrary to nature.
Healthy babies spring from normal, healthy parents. If they can have normal grandparents, so much the better, but inasmuch as we can not alter the past, let us give our attention to the present. If we take care of the present, the future will bring forth a population of healthy parents and grandparents, and then the babies will have full opportunity. The past has great influence, for the child of today is heir of the past, modified by the present. He who influences the present leaves his mark on the future. As individuals we do not usually accomplish much during a lifetime, but if we influence our time for the better it is hard to tell where the improvement will cease or what will be the aggregate result. A truth imparted to others acts much like a pebble cast into the water. Its influence is felt in ever widening circles.
Infancy and youth are plastic. Both body and mind are susceptible to surrounding influences. If the heredity is unfavorable it can be largely modified by favorable environments. If a child is born of unhealthy parents, but without any serious defect, and is intelligently cared for after birth, it will grow up to be healthy. On the other hand, a child born of healthy parents that is improperly cared for will become ill and perhaps die young.
In early years the habits are formed that will largely influence and control the years of maturity. Most children learn bad habits from birth. It is as easy to acquire good habits as bad ones, and as people are largely creatures of habits, every parent should aim to give his children a good start. Parents seldom do wrong intentionally, but they are careless and many of the parental habits of the race are bad, and for this the future generations must suffer.
It is easier and more economical to have healthy babies than to have sickly ones. The healthy way is the simple way. It merely means self-control, common sense and constructive knowledge on the part of the parents.
PRENATAL CARE.
It is commonly believed that a pregnant woman must eat for two. The wise woman will not increase her food intake. If she is not up to par physically at the time of conception she will generally find it advantageous to decrease the food allowance.
A healthy baby should not weigh to exceed six, or at most seven, pounds at birth. Five pounds would be better. It does not take much food to nourish an infant of that weight, and the baby does not weigh that much until shortly before birth. Most of the food is used for fuel but the amount of fuel required to heat a baby that is kept warm within the mother"s body is almost negligible.
One of the first and most important requisites for having healthy children is to avoid the eating-for-two fallacy. Most people overeat, anyway, and there should be no encouragement in this line.
The results of overeating are many and serious. The mother grows too heavy or else she becomes dyspeptic. Overeating and partaking of food of poor quality are the chief causes of the ills of pregnancy. Prospective mothers can be comfortable. Pregnancy and childbirth are physiological.
Normal women suffer very little inconvenience or pain. The suffering during pregnancy, the pain and accidents at childbirth are measures of the mother"s abnormality. The greater the inconvenience the farther has the individual strayed from a natural life. The women who live normally from the time of conception, or before, until the birth of the baby will be surprised how little inconvenience there is.
For ideal results the father must be kind, considerate and self-controlled. It is a disagreeable fact that many men are brutal and inconsiderate of wives and unborn children. The extent of this brutality can hardly be realized by those who have had no medical experience.
Perhaps the women are partly to blame, for they do not teach their boys to be considerate and kind and they leave them in ignorance of subjects that are important and that can best be taught by parents.
A pregnant woman should be mistress of her body. During this period the husband has morally no marital rights. If boys were educated by their parents on this subject they would be reasonable later on, and the average boy of fourteen or fifteen is old enough to receive such education.
Gestation should be a period of calm. All excitement and pa.s.sion are harmful. The mother should be as free from annoyance as possible.
Cheerfulness should be the rule. Those who are not naturally cheerful should cultivate this desirable state of mind. Gruesome and horrible topics should not be discussed. The reading should not be along tragic lines. The study of nature and the philosophy of men who have found life sweet are among the helpful mental occupations. The mental att.i.tude has its effect, not only on the mother, but on the unborn babe. That the seed for good or evil is often planted in the child"s brain before birth, according to the mental and physical condition of the mother, can hardly be doubted. Mothers who live naturally can dismiss all worry on the subject of harm coming to themselves through maternity, for there will be none. The absence of worry has a good effect on both mother and child.
The various ills from which mothers suffer are largely caused by eating for two. The overeating causes overweight in those whose nutrition is above par and indigestion in those who have but ordinary digestive capacity. Those who are overweight have too high blood pressure and those who have indigestion absorb some of the poisonous products of decomposition from the bowels. Headache is a common result. Palpitation of the heart comes from gas pressure. The abnormal blood pressure may result in alb.u.minurea, swelling of the lower extremities and overweight of both mother and child. The morning sickness is nearly always due to excessive food intake. If this proves troublesome, reduce the amount of food and simplify the combinations. Instead of taking heavy, rich dishes, increase the amount of fresh fruits and vegetables.
The birth of a large baby is fraught with danger to mother and child.
Sometimes one or both are injured and sometimes one or both die. Many women are afraid to become mothers for this reason. It would be difficult to estimate how often this fear causes law breaking, for all large cities have their medical men who grow rich through illegal practices among these women. Sometimes these doctors are among the respected members of the profession, eminent enough to have a national reputation. The financial reward is great enough to tempt men to break the law and they will continue to do so, so long as present conditions exist.
It is important for the prospective mother to be moderate in her eating.
Three meals a day are sufficient. Between meals nothing but water should be swallowed. Lunching always leads to overeating.
One meal each day can consist of starchy food, but not more than one meal. Any one of the starches may be selected, the cereal products, rice, potatoes, chestnuts. If the digestion is good, take matured beans, peas or lentils occasionally, but these are so heavy that they should not be eaten very frequently and always in moderation. With the starchy food selected, take either b.u.t.ter or milk, or a moderate quant.i.ty of both. Sometimes it is all right to take some fruit with the starchy food, but this should be the exception, not the rule. Fruit should generally be eaten by itself or taken with non-starchy foods. Starch eating should be limited to one meal a day because an excessive amount of this food causes hardening of the tissues. The baby"s bones, which should be very soft, flexible and yielding at birth, will become too hard if much starch is eaten.
Once a day some kind of proteid food may be taken, but this should also be eaten in moderation, for if it is not, degenerative changes will take place, which will manifest in some one of the disorders common to pregnancy. Eggs and the lighter kinds of meats, or nuts or fresh fish may be selected. Whatever kind of protein is taken, it should be as fresh as possible. Pork should not be used. With the protein, have either fruit or vegetables, and it does not make much difference which.
No one could ask for a better meal than good apples and pecans.
Be sure to eat enough of the raw salad vegetables and of raw fruits to supply the salts needed by the body.
For the third meal have fruit. Cottage cheese, sweet or clabbered milk or b.u.t.termilk may be taken with the fruit. Do not take milk twice a day, for if it is taken twice and other proteid food once a day, too much protein is ingested.
A gla.s.s or two of b.u.t.termilk will make a good meal at any time. Dr.
Waugh, who has had over forty years of experience and is well and favorably known on both sides of the Atlantic, recommends b.u.t.termilk very highly during pregnancy. b.u.t.termilk and clabbered milk are better than the sweet milk. The lactic acid seems to have a sweetening effect on the alimentary tract. Sweet milk is constipating for many people. The b.u.t.termilk and the clabbered milk are not constipating to the same degree.
The use of fruit and vegetables has a tendency to prevent constipation.
The only internal remedies for which there is any excuse are cathartics, and normal people do not need them. However, it is better to take a mild cathartic or an enema than to allow the colon to become loaded with waste. Constipation among eaters of much meat is rather a serious condition, for the waste in the colon of heavy meat eaters is very poisonous. The colonic waste in vegetarians is not so toxic.
Desserts should be used sparingly and seldom. They are not a necessity, but a habit, and if they are consumed daily they are a bad habit.
For the sake of the unborn child, avoid all stimulants and narcotics.
Alcoholics and coffee should not be used. And it is best to avoid strong spices and rich gravies. A little self-denial and self-control in this line will pay great dividends in healthy, happy, contented babies, and there are no greater blessings.