Breakfast: Whole wheat toast, b.u.t.ter and a gla.s.s of milk.
Lunch: A baked apple and a dish of cottage cheese.
Supper: Steamed or boiled brown rice and milk.
Breakfast: Puffed wheat and milk.
Lunch: Oranges and milk.
Supper: An egg, parsnips and onions, both stewed.
Breakfast: Oatmeal or whole wheat porridge and milk.
Lunch: Berries and milk.
Supper: Baked potato, spinach and a plate of lettuce.
Breakfast: Shredded wheat biscuit and milk.
Lunch: Stewed prunes and milk or cottage cheese.
Supper: Whole wheat toast and milk.
These are merely hints. Where one juicy fruit is suggested, another may be subst.i.tuted. In place of the succulent vegetables named, others may be used. Any of the starches may be selected in place of the ones given.
However, no mistake will be made in using the whole wheat products as the starch mainstay.
Desserts should not be fed to children often. Rich cakes and all kinds of pies should be omitted from the bill of fare. It is true that some children can take care of them, but what is the use of taking chances? A plain custard, lightly flavored, may be given with toast. If ice cream is above suspicion a moderate dish of this with some form of starch may be given, but milk is not to be taken in the same meal with either ice cream or custard.
At the end of the third year it is time enough to begin to feed the salad vegetables, though they may be given earlier to children who masticate well. The dressing should be very plain, nothing more than a little salt and olive oil, or some clabbered cream. No dressing is necessary. The salad vegetables may be eaten with the meal containing eggs and the stewed succulent vegetables.
At the age of about seven or eight the child may be put on the same diet as the parents, provided they live simply. Otherwise, continue in the old way a little longer. For the best results in raising children, simplicity is absolutely necessary.
Children who are early put on a stimulating diet develop mental and s.e.xual precocity, both of which are detrimental to physical welfare. The first desideratum is to give the children healthy bodies, and then there will be no trouble in giving them what knowledge they need.
In overfed boys the s.e.x urge is so strong that they acquire secret habits, and sometimes commit overt acts. Too much protein is especially to blame. These facts are not understood by many and the result is that the parents fail in their duty to their children.
It is best not to bring young children to the table, if there is anything on it that they should not have, for it nearly always results in improper feeding. The children are curious and they beg for a little of this and a little of that. Unthinkingly the parents give them little tastes and bites and before the meal is over they have had from six to twelve different kinds of food, some of them not fit for adult consumption. If the child understands that it is not to ask for these things and abides by this rule, it is all right, but such children are rare. A child that fretfully begs for this and that at the table upsets itself and the parents.
Make no sudden changes in the manner of feeding, unless the feeding is decidedly wrong.
Active children get all the exercise they need. They should spend a large part of the day in the open, and this is even more important for the delicate ones. The bedroom should be well ventilated, but the children must be kept cozy and warm or they do not sleep well.
After the child is old enough not to soil itself, one or two baths a week are sufficient. There is no virtue in soaking. Swimming is different, for here the child is active in the water and it does not weaken him so. Swimming should be a part of every child"s education.
Bed time should be early. The children should be tucked in and the light turned off by 8 o"clock, and 7 o"clock is better for children under five. If they want to get up early in the morning, let them, but put them to bed early at night.
Infants should not be exposed long to the direct rays of the summer sun, for it is liable to cause illness. It upsets the stomach and then there is a feverish spell. If nothing is fed that will generally be all, but it is unnecessary to make babies ill in this way. They should not be chilled either.
Husband and wife do not agree at all times, but they make a mistake when they disagree in the presence of their children. Young people are quick to take advantage of such a state of affairs and they begin to play the parents against each other. When a point comes up where there is a difference of opinion, the decision of the parent who speaks first should stand, at least for the time being. Then when they are by themselves, man and wife can discuss the matter if it is not satisfactory, and even quarrel about it, if that gives them pleasure.
Parents who do not control themselves can not long retain the full respect of their children. Lost respect is not very far distant from lost love.
People often object to a change in methods, for, they say, the new plan will cause too much trouble. The plan here outlined causes less trouble than the conventional method of caring for children. It is simpler and gives better results. If it were followed out the mortality of children under ten years of age in this country would be reduced from over 400,000 annually to less than 25,000. In spite of everything, a number of young people will get into fatal pranks.
There are difficulties in the way of raising children properly, but a healthy child is such a great reward that the efforts are paid for a hundred times over. Nothing wears the parents out more quickly than a child who is always fretting and crying, always on the brink of disease or in its grasp. In raising children the best way is the easiest way.
THE CHILD"S MENTAL TRAINING.
A healthy body is the child"s first requirement. However, if the mental training is poor, giving wrong views of life, a good physique is of but little service.
It is quite generally agreed among observers that the first seven years of life leave the mental impressions which guide the whole life, and that after the age of fourteen the mental trend rarely changes. There are a few individuals with strength enough to make themselves over mentally after reaching adult life, but these are so few that they are almost negligible, and even they are largely influenced by their youth and infancy. It is as easy to form good mental habits as bad ones. It is within the power of all parents to give their children healthy bodies and healthy minds, and this is a duty, which should prove a pleasure.
The reason such heritage is so rare is that it requires considerable self-control and most parents live chaotic lives.
Upon the mentality depends the success in life. "It is the mind that makes the body rich." No matter how great an individual"s success may seem in the eyes of the public, if the person lacks the proper perspective, the proper vision and the right understanding, his success is an empty thing. Wealth and success are considered synonymous, but I have found more misery in the homes of the rich than among the poor.
Physical wants can be supplied and the suffering is over, but mental wants can only be satisfied through understanding, which should be cultivated in childhood.
"All our problems go back to the child--corrupt politics, dishonesty and greed in commerce, war, anarchism, drunkenness, incompetence and criminality."--Moxom.
Given a healthy body and a good mind, every individual is able to become a useful member of society, and that is all that can be expected of the average individual. All can not be eminent, and it is not necessary.
Upon the child"s mental impressions and the habits formed in infancy and youth depend the mental workings and the habits of later life. Therefore it is necessary to nurture the little people in the right kind of atmosphere. If the child is trained properly from infancy there will be no serious bad habits to overcome during later years, and, as all know, habits are the hardest of all bonds to break. To overcome the coffee and alcohol habits is hard, but to overcome bad mental habits is even more difficult.
First of all, let the infant alone most of the time. Some mothers are so full of love and nonsense that they take their babies up to cuddle and love them at short intervals, and then there are the admiring relatives who like to flatter the parents by telling them that the baby is the finest one they have seen; it is an exceptional baby. So the relatives have to bother the infant and kiss it. This should not be. The child should be kept in a quiet room and should not be disturbed. There are no exceptional babies. They are all much alike, except that some are a little healthier than others. If they are let alone, they have the best opportunity to develop into exceptional men and women.
Paying too much attention to babies makes them cross and irritable. They soon learn to like and then to demand attention. If they do not get it at once they become ill-tempered and cry until attention is given. Thus the foundation of bad temper is laid in the very cradle. They gain their ends in infancy by crying. Later on they develop the whining habit. When they grow older they fret and worry. Such dispositions are the faults of the parents.
It does not take long for children to learn how to get their way, and if they can do it by being disagreeable, you may be sure that they will develop the worst side of their nature. Let the child understand that being disagreeable buys nothing, and there will soon be an end of it.
Children who are well and well cared for are happy. They cause their elders almost no trouble. To lavish an excessive amount of care on a baby may be agreeable to the mother at first, but it is different when it comes to caring for an ill-tempered, spoiled child of eight or nine years.
Many crimes are committed in the name of love. Many babies are killed by love. Unless love is tempered by understanding it is as lethal as poison. Many parents think they are showing love when they indulge their children, but instead they are putting them onto the road that leads to physical and mental decay. True love is helpful, kind and patient. The spurious kind is noisy, demonstrative and impatient.
Do what is necessary for children, but do not allow them to cause unnecessary work. What they can do for themselves they should do. They can be taught to be helpful very early. They should be taught to be neat and tidy. They should learn to dress themselves and how to keep their rooms and personal effects in good order early in life, no matter how many servants there may be. These little things are reflected in their later lives. They help to form the individual"s character. It is what we do that largely make us what we are, and every little act and every thought has a little influence in shaping our lives. An orderly body helps to make an orderly mind and vice versa.
Many of the rich children are unfortunate indeed. Some times poor parents have so many children that each one gets scant attention, but the children of many of the rich get no parental attention. The parents are too busy acc.u.mulating or preserving a fortune and climbing a social ladder to bother with their children. Their raising is delegated to servants. At times the little ones are put on display for a few minutes and then the parents are as proud of them as they are of the expensive paintings that adorn the walls or the blooded dogs and horses in kennels and stables. No amount of paid service can compensate for the lack of parental love.
The ideal today, especially for female children, seems to be to make ornaments of them, to train them to be useless. Girls, as well as boys, should be taught to be useful. They should be taught that those who do not labor are parasites. If some do not work, others have to work too hard. The story is told of Mark Twain that he dined with an English n.o.bleman who boasted that he was an earl and did not labor. "In our country," said Mark Twain, "we do not call people of your cla.s.s earls; we call them hoboes."
It does not matter how wealthy parents are, they should teach their children how to earn a living, and they should instill into them the ideal of service, for a life of idleness is a failure. The shirkers and wasters are not happy. The greatest contentment in life comes from the performance of good work. Ecstatic love and riotous pleasure can not last. Work with love and pleasure is good. But love and pleasure without work are corroding.
Children who are waited upon much become selfish. They soon become grafters, expecting and taking everything and giving nothing. This is immoral, for life is a matter of compensation, and consists in giving as well as in taking. Children should be taught consideration for others, and should not be allowed to order the servants around; not that it harms the servants, but it has a bad effect on the children.
Because the child"s period of development is so long, it is important to have a proper adjustment in the home between parents and the children.
Lack of adjustment wears out the parents, especially the mother, and gives false impressions to the young people. To prevent friction and get good results, children should be taught obedience. Obedience is one of the stepping stones to ability to command.
In those homes where the words of the parents are law there is but little friction. Obedience should be taught from the very start. As soon as the child realizes that the parents mean what they say and that it is useless to fret and complain about a command, that is the end of the matter. How different it is with disobedient children! The parents have to tell them what to do several times and then the bidding often remains undone.