"He sent my old nurse to fetch me away, and I confided the truth to her with many tears. She was very anxious to make a scene, give "madame" a piece of her mind in the presence of her pupils; but I was so glad to get away from the school that I prevented her carrying out her intentions. I told her I should not be believed. The fact was, one of the elder girls told me I was very foolish to make so much fuss about a kiss. The music master kisses me," she continued, "and all the others who are pretty," as he says. Still, we are much too sensible to tell any one, for he lends us French novels forbidden by madame, and improvises invitations for us when we want to go out: in short, he is ready to do us all kinds of services that we could not trust to a servant of the establishment. What folly to make such a man your enemy!
"I have since met this same girl--Leontine was her name--in society, and experienced the advantages of her education. She was ever very polite to my face, and calumniated me directly my back was turned. Thus, you see, under these forms of decorum all kinds of lies and infamy are hidden."
"Francis, I am quite of your opinion that a man"s fine manners are no guarantee of his morality or uprightness; but do you think society would be improved by turning all its sin, wretchedness, and ugliness to the surface?"
"It is certain we should then fly from it in disgust and horror."
"But every one cannot fly from it. There are people who are obliged to live in society; and, provided that we do not become its dupe, it is better that what you call the mantle of decorum should give to social life an aspect which renders it supportable."
As we returned from the ruin the sky had become misty, and the sun was setting behind the clouds, its presence being only marked by the orange and purple rays struggling through the mist; the fields were already invisible under this wet sheet of nature"s procuring. It was time for us to seek shelter from such humidity as surrounded us. Francis proposed to enter the house with all speed.
CHAPTER XXIII.
Now that Francis was once in the humour to give me the history of her past life, I encouraged her to continue her story.
She went on to say that a Swiss governess was engaged to teach her needlework and other ladylike accomplishments.
"My father," she said, "seeing all his plans foiled by the unexpected visit of my English aunt, left me entirely in the hands of my governess. And as I no longer wrote a letter every year to the old uncle telling him of my progress in fencing and horsemanship, and signing myself Francis Mordaunt (I had been told this was the accepted orthography in England), Sir John received no more bills of exchange from that source. It was these bills of exchange which had enabled him to keep up such an expensive establishment. He ought now to have adopted a plainer style of living; but he preferred drawing upon his capital.
"I thought it my duty to write to Aunt Ellen, and to tell her the truth about my having left the school. She answered me in affectionate terms, and enclosed the annual fifty pounds with many exhortations to industry and much good advice. She even promised me I should come to London on a visit, as she had much to tell me. But, alas! next year she died, and my pension ceased--nor have I ever heard a word of my English relations since.
"Mademoiselle Ch.e.l.les, my governess, was a woman of tact, and won my affection and esteem. In the long walks we took together our conversation was confidential, and she spoke of the sufferings of the poor, and the pleasures to be derived from relieving them; in short, she showed me the serious side of life in a manner no one else had ever done before. She inspired me with a love for the beauties of nature, and awoke the better feelings which, thus far, had lain dormant; a.s.sisting me in my preparation for confirmation. Perhaps she would have succeeded in extirpating "Major Frank" altogether, but that my nurse grew jealous of her influence; and, worse still, Rolf, now promoted to the rank of lieutenant, fell in love with her. She could not bear the grand soudard, the "ogre," as she called him; for his manners frightened her, and he made his offer in such a maladroit fashion that she walked off to my father, and said she would leave the house if ever that man were allowed to put his foot into it again. This, as everybody said, was a.s.suming the "high tone"
on her part. Grandfather and nurse were on Rolf"s side, and my father answered--"It"s only a governess, let her go." I myself said little for her; I was too anxious to regain my ancient liberty--though I have since known the loss I sustained in losing her. I was young then; my father ought to have known better. Even to the present day this is one of my grudges against Rolf.
"Again I became "Major Frank." I accompanied my father on his rides, and I saw he was proud of my horsemanship. Sometimes we hunted together, and when he allowed me to drive I was ever ready to show off my daring and skill. In the meantime my nurse died, and now, indeed, I felt the truth of her words--that she was the only person in the world who really loved me. I had to take her place, and fulfil the duties of mistress in the household. My father was expecting a visitor from England----"
She stopped abruptly, and fixing her beautiful blue eyes on me with a strange expression, asked--
"Leopold, have you been in the society of women much?"
"When I lived with my mother I saw many of her friends and visitors; but since----"
"That"s not the question. I ask you if, like most men, you have sometimes suffered from the intermittent fever called love?"
"I have done my best, cousin, to escape it. Knowing myself to be too poor to maintain a wife in these expensive times, I have always observed a strict reserve in my relations with them in order not to be led away from my principles."
"Then you have never been "pa.s.sion"s slave," as Hamlet puts it."
"My time has always been too much occupied for anything of the sort."
"So much the better for you; but I am sorry for myself, because you will not be able to give me the information I am seeking."
"Tell me what you want to know; possibly I can enlighten you."
"I wish to know if you think it possible for an honourable man, who is neither a fool nor a c.o.xcomb, but who, on the contrary, has given evidences of his shrewdness and penetration, not to observe pretty quickly that a girl--how shall I express myself?--that a girl is deeply attached to him, even though no word of love has been exchanged between them?"
I was greatly embarra.s.sed. What could be her meaning? Was this simplicity or maliciousness on her part, to address such a question to me? After a few moments" reflection, however, I answered--
"I believe that, in general, both men and women very quickly discover the mutual feelings which they entertain towards each other, even though no words on the subject have pa.s.sed between them."
"That is my opinion also now; but at the time I am referring to I was as inexperienced as a child. My father"s friends always regarded me as an ill-bred girl, whimsical and capricious, a sort of savage whom n.o.body cared to invite into society either for the sake of their sons or daughters. The young officers who visited at our house would try to make themselves agreeable; but their conduct appeared so insipid, so ridiculous, that I only mocked them, and gave such biting replies as to disconcert the most intrepid amongst them.
"It was at this time that Lord William came to stay with us. He was introduced to me as a schoolfellow of my father"s; at Eton he had been Sir John"s f.a.g, and indeed was his junior by only a few years. For some reason, unexplained to me, it was said he had been obliged to leave England, and my father offered him the suite of rooms left vacant by my grandfather. Lord William appeared to be rich; he brought over an immense quant.i.ty of luggage, and paid right royally for any service rendered him. I believe, indeed, he had a private agreement with my father about the housekeeping expenses, though neither of them ever told me so. Now a housekeeper was engaged to a.s.sist me in the management of the house, and yet it was with the greatest difficulty that I could adapt myself to the duties of mistress of such an establishment. The presence of our visitor, however, greatly aided in reconciling me to my position.
"Lord William (I never knew his family name) was a man of letters, and had had a very valuable and expensive library sent over for his use. Moreover, he was highly gifted with the faculty of communicating his knowledge to others in a pleasant and agreeable manner. He was an enthusiastic lover of art and poetry; he could read and even speak several modern languages, and was pa.s.sionately fond of antiquities and ancient history. He knew--what we were all ignorant of--that the library of our own small town possessed works of inestimable value on these subjects, and I think this was his reason for choosing it as his place of sojourn on the Continent. At all events he made great use of the library. You may understand my surprise at seeing a man, evidently of high rank, who cared neither for hunting nor noisy pleasures of any kind, and who declared the happiest moments of his life to be those spent in his study, and yet withal he was a perfect gentleman and man of the world. The gentlemen said he was ugly; the ladies were silent on that point, but appeared delighted with the slightest attention he paid them. I thought he bore a striking resemblance to our Stadtholder William III., though less pale. He had a high forehead, strongly marked features, and dark eyes, which made you think of the piercing regard of the eagle."
"Had he also the beak?" I asked, growing impatient.
"I have told you he was like William III. (of England)," she replied, looking at me in astonishment; "his nose was curved sharply. But not to detain you too long, I will at once confess he exercised a powerful influence over me for good. I soon discovered that my manners were displeasing to him, and that he evinced towards me a compa.s.sionate sympathy, as if he regretted the sad turn my tastes had taken. One day I overheard him ask my father why he did not take me out into society. He gave as a reason my wild and brusque manners, and the kind of society to be found in a small town like ours. Lord William was not a man to be easily discouraged. He spoke to me privately about my previous life, and put all sorts of questions to me about my education. I told him everything, in my own way, without trying to hide any of the particulars from him.
""Do you like reading?" he asked me.
""Not at all," I answered. "I like society, men and action."
""But any one who does not read, and read much, becomes idiotic, and makes but a poor figure in society."
""If that"s the case, tell me what I ought to read."
""I cannot answer your question right away; but, if you are willing, we will read together and try to make up for lost time.""
CHAPTER XXIV.
"And so it was settled. He undertook to educate me and to form my tastes. He soon made me acquainted with the masterpieces of German and French literature, and discovered to me the beauties of the cla.s.sics in his own language; and I learnt from him most a.s.siduously that which Dr. Darkins never could have taught me----"
"And so well, that you fell in love with each other!" I interrupted, giving way to a movement of anger.
"Not exactly; but if you interrupt in that way I shall lose the thread of my narrative. It is at your desire I recount to you the story of my past life; and how much wiser would you be if I were to compress it into a sentence like this for instance: "Lord William came to our house in the autumn, and left us the following spring"?"
"Without having become your fiance?" I said in agony.
"Without having become my fiance," she answered in a dry, cold tone.
I was angry with myself. I had only too plainly shown that I was jealous of the praise lavished on this stranger. And what right had I to be jealous?