A sudden rush of tears to her eyes blinded her momentarily, and she smothered a tiny, betraying protest, turning swiftly on her heel. It was too dangerous to risk bandying words with Jake feeling the way she did at the moment--she could only lose.
"Kelly!"
It seemed he wasn"t content with reducing her to tears. His ringers grasped her arm, spinning her round so hard that she gasped, fingers clutching nervously at her towel as it slipped precariously low over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"Do these mean that it was genuine?" Jake demanded softly, his fingers oddly gentle as they brushed the dampness from her cheeks.
She tried to speak, to tell him coldly that if she was crying it was simply reaction, but instead, to her horror, the tears flowed even faster, like a dam bursting, falling harder as shestmggled to suppress them and the emotions storming through her.
"Kelly!"
Jake spoke her name with unmistakable urgency.
"I know--you hate seeing women cry," she tried to joke--but suddenly it wasn"t a joke any longer as Jake smothered a curse, pulling her savagely into his arms as he muttered hoa.r.s.ely, "I hate seeing you cry. G.o.d, ifWrayman had hurt you..."
"It was my own fault. I should never have gone with him. G.o.d knows I"ve spent enough time avoiding similar situations, but tonight..."
Within the circle of Jake"s arms, she shrugged, realising in amazement how easily she had confided in him.
"Would you like me to stay with you--until you fall asleep?"
Oh, she was tempted!
"Let"s start again, Kelly," Jake was murmuring softly.
"Somehow we got off on the wrong foot and we"ve stayed that way ever since, apart from one or two illuminating incidents. I could have killedWrayman when he walked off with you tonight."
"You saw us?" Kelly was astonished, and raised her head to look at him.
He grimaced slightly, his eyes darkening as they probed the shadowy swell of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s where her towel had slipped.
"I saw you," he confirmed.
"I thought you were doing it to annoy me."
When she looked puzzled, he said softly, "Oh, come on, Kelly, you know how much I want you, you aren"t blind--but then, of course, I"m not keeping to my place if I want you, am I? I"m only the hired help."
"Jake?"
Her voice was wondering, hesitantly hopeful. Jake wanted her. She searched his face distractedly for signs that he was lying, but there were none. She could see the sharp hunger in his eyes, echoed in the tautness of his body against hers, as he held her.
"Don"t play with me, Kelly," he warned her, his voice rough with emotion.
"Let"s have no misunderstandings this time. I want you, and..."
"And I want you, Jake," Kelly told him huskily, her fingers trembling as she touched his face, trying to rea.s.sure herself that he was real, "but first there"s something I have to tell you. "
She wanted to tell him about Colin, about why she had been so bitterly suspicious of him. It didn"t matter that he had no money, or how he earned his living, she decided pa.s.sionately. What mattered was the way they felt about one another. He wanted her, and every feminine instinct she possessed told her that she would be a fool if she turned her back on this chance of happiness simply because of pride and money. What did it matter if she was rich and he wag poor? What did it matter what anyone else thought? What did anything matter except for this wonderful, glorious happiness bubbling up inside her?
"Later, Kelly," Jake was saying roughly, "tell me about it later.
Right now--right now. " he added huskily, " I can think of better ways of communicating than simply by the spoken word. "
He lifted her in his arms andICelly clung to the breadth of his shoulders, her heart pounding shakily as he pushed open the door to their room.
She was still in his arms when Jake bent his head to kiss her, her lips parting eagerly beneath his, her body trembling with heated urgency as he gradually slid her to her feet, every contour of her moulded against him so that she could almost feel his pulse beat.
"Kelly."
She let him unfasten her towel, her own fingers making eager inroads into the b.u.t.tons on his shirt peeling it back, her eyes mesmerised by the sight of his body. His hands cupped her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and they swelled instantly to his touch, Her skin felt as though it were on fire with a b.u.minglydry heat, the frenzied kisses she pressed against Jake"s throat and shoulders eliciting a husky imprecation and the fierce a.s.sault of his mouth against her skin, his hands moving hungrily over her body, touching and exploring, bringing her to a fever pitch of s.e.xual excitement, they probed the shadowy swell of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s where her towel had slipped.
"I saw you," he confirmed.
"I thought you were doing it to annoy me."
When she looked puzzled, he said softly, "Oh, come on, Kelly, you know how much I want you, you aren"t blind--but then, of course, I"m not keeping to my place if I want you, am I? I"m only the hired help."
"Jake?"
Her voice was wondering, hesitantly hopeful. Jake wanted her. She searched his face distractedly for signs that he was lying, but there were none. She could see the sharp hunger in his eyes, echoed in the tautness of his body against hers, as he held her.
"Don"t play with me, Kelly," he warned her, his voice rough with emotion.
"Let"s have no misunderstandings this time. I want you, and..."
"And I want you, Jake," Kelly told him huskily, her fingers trembling as she touched his face, trying to rea.s.sure herself that he was real, "but first there"s something I have to tell you. "
She wanted to tell him about Colin, about why she had been so bitterly suspicious of him. It didn"t matter that he had no money, or how he earned his living, she decided pa.s.sionately. What mattered was the way they felt about one another. He wanted her, and every feminine instinct she possessed told her that she would be a fool if she turned her back on this chance of happiness simply because of pride and money. What did it matter if she was rich and he was poor? What did it matter what anyone else thought? What did anything matter except for this wonderful, glorious happiness bubbling up inside her?
"Later, Kelly," Jake was saying roughly, "tell me about it later.
Right now--right now. " he added huskily, " I can think of better ways of communicating than simply by the spoken word. "
He lifted her in his arms and Kelly clung to the breadth of his shoulders, her heart pounding shakily as he pushed open the door to their room.
She was still in his arms when Jake bent his head to kiss her, her lips parting eagerly beneath his, her body trembling with heated urgency as he gradually slid her to her feet, every contour of her moulded against him so that she could almost feel his pulse beat.
"Kelly."
She let him unfasten her towel, her own fingers making eager inroads into the b.u.t.tons on his shirt, peeling it back, her eyes mesmerised by the sight of his body. His hands cupped her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and they swelled instantly to his touch. Her skin felt as though it were on fire with a b.u.minglydry heat, the frenzied kisses she pressed against Jake"s throat and shoulders eliciting a husky imprecation and the fierce a.s.sault of his mouth against her skin, his hands moving hungrily over her body, touching and exploring, bringing her to a fever pitch of s.e.xual excitement.
Kelly was completely lost in the storm of sensual pleasure Jake evoked, stroking his torso feverishly as he savaged her mouth in explicit demand, releasing her lips to mutter hoa.r.s.ely, "For G.o.d"s sake, Kelly, what are you doing to me?"
And then he was lifting her in his arms, and striding towards the bed, lowering his head to capture one taut nipple with his lips before he released her, savouring its burgeoning sweetness until Kelly sobbed out loud with pleasure, her stomach muscles cramping excitingly, her body throbbingtormentingly as Jake lowered her on to the bed.
She shivered for a moment as the coolness of the night air struck her skin, and then Jake was beside her, covering her trembling flesh with the warmth of his, and the feel of him against her was nothing like the humiliation she had known with Colin.
It was easy to give herself up to the seduction of his touch, to respond with caresses of her own, taking fierce delight from the harsh sounds of pleasure her fingers drew from his throat, and the kisses that followed them.
When his hand stroked along her inner thigh she tensed, nightmare memories flooding back, but her desire and love for Jake were more powerful than her fear, and intense waves of pleasure followed her initial fear, her body arching; wanting and inciting with age-old instinct the union of their flesh.
In the darkness she heard the ragged, charged quality of Jake"s breathing, and felt the perspiration beading his skin as he muttered hoa.r.s.ely beneath his breath, cupping her face and stroking her lips with his, until she clung mindlessly, exulting in the fierce thrust of his body and the savage pa.s.sion of his kiss.
Somewhere, dimly in the recesses of her mind, she was registering pain, but she didn"t care; she wanted this pain, wanted the fierce maleness of Jake with a need that overrode everything else, and when he tensed, withdrawing from her, she was plunged into a pit of bitter rejection, cringing away from him as he snapped on the bedside lamp.
"Kelly, look at me."
She quivered under the harshness of his tone.
"Kelly..."
"No! Please, I..." To her horror she started to cry, not silent tears, but tearing sobs that shook her body and made her throat ache.
"Kelly, for G.o.d"s sake!" She shrank beneath the whiplash of anger, shivering withselfloathing and humiliation.
"Why didn"t you tell me?"
It was pointless and undignified trying to pretend she didn"t understand.
"I tried to," she managed wearily, "but you wouldn"t listen. "
"Are you going to tell me about it?"
"What do you want to hear?" Her voice sounded bitter and sour, but she couldn"t help it, couldn"t rid herself of the taste of rejection.
"Would you like to hear how my husband only married me for my money; how he tried to rape me on our wedding night, but how he couldn"t bring himself to possess me in the end--he didn"t really want me, you see, he only wanted my money, and making love to me was a price he found in" the end he simply couldn"t pay. So he left me and went to his girl-friend, only he was killed on the way. Funny, isn"t it really.
She started to laugh, a high bitter sound that went on and on, until Jake shook her roughly and then smothered the sound with his lips, kissing her until she was fighting for breath; fighting for the control to reject him as he had rejected her.
"You don"t have to make love to me," she told him when she finally managed to pull away.
"I"ll still pay you."
"I d.a.m.n well ought to thrash you for that!" Jake ground out, and in the darkness she caught the burn of anger in his eyes, "and besides, you"re wrong. I do have to make love to you. " He said it so quietly that at first she thought she had misheard, but then he added slowly, as though he wanted every single word to sink in: " I"m sorry for what happened with Colin and ; it explains a great deal I couldn"t understand before--but, Kelly, I"m not Colin, and you can"tspend the rest of your life punishing yourself because one man didn"t want you. I want you," he said quietly, "and the only reason we aren"t already lovers is simply that it threw me to realise that you were still a virgin."
"Meaning that you"d prefer me to have more experience," Kelly said bitterly.
"I"m sorry if I don"t come up to your undoubtedly high standards but..."
The crudity of the expression he used shocked her into silence. She stared across at him in the darkness, wondering if she was being a fool, but her body still ached for him, and she still loved him.
"Virginity is more a state of mind than an actual physical reality at least that"s my view, and my strongest feeling at the moment is one of pity oh, not for you," he said tersely, "for Colin, for being fool enough to turn his back on you. No, I tell a lie," he addeddrily .
"If I"m honest, my strongest feeling right now is my desire for you, but I don"t intend to force any issues, Kelly. I want you and badly, but I want you to want me too. I want you to experience pleasure in my arms, not simply give me pleasure. Do you under stand what I"m trying to say?"
Her mouth had gone dry. Jake was being unfair, forcing her to make the decision, and yet inwardly she acknowledged that he was right; that it was her decision, and the fact that he had the strength to allow her to make it only increased her love for him.
"I...1 want you, Jake."
They were the hardest words she had ever had to utter, and for one terrifying moment when he made no response she thought it had all been a trick, a trap, and panic welled up inside her, fear crawling along her spine.
"Oh G.o.d, Kelly, I thought you were never going to be able to say it!"
She didn"t know who moved first, but suddenly she was in his arms, his lips touching her hair, kissing the dampness from her cheeks, his thumb stroking the quivering fullness of her lips, and she knew joyously, overwhelmingly, that everything was going to be all right.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
towards dawn, Kelly surfaced briefly. The comforting weight of Jake"s arm lay across her ribs, securing her against him. Her body felt lethargic, totally relaxed, asbonelessly sensual as a small cat"s, and she smiled secretly, remembering Jake"s lovemaking and her own abandoned response to it. Jake moved, eyes still closed, nuzzling her throat, drawing her down against him, her body instantly pliant and responsive, as though it remembered the pleasure they had shared earlier.
The next time she woke up Kelly was alone. She padded across to the bathroom, recognising the faint tang of Jake"s soap and cologne, and wondering why he had not woken her. Today they would have to talk. She loved him, and she wasn"t going to let her chance of happiness slip away from her through pride. What good was her wealth if it separated her from the only thing that she really wanted--Jake"s love? Did he love her? Kelly didn"t know, but she wanted him to know that she was willing to share equally with him all her worldly goods. The s.e.xes were equal nowadays, she reminded herself bracingly, she had always fought to be considered the equal of her male colleagues, and surely she wasn"t hypocritical enough to want to revert to the typical male female superior inferior status now? What did it matter if they lived on her money? What did it matter if Jake had no career or profession to follow? Banishing all her niggling doubts, she showered quickly, marvelling at the difference a handful of hours could make. Even her flesh felt different--softer, more responsive, glowing with a soft radiance that was reflected in her face. But where was Jake?
She found Sue and Jeremy breakfasting on the patio, tension hanging almost visibly on the air.
"Morning, Kelly, did you enjoy the party?" Sue enquired in an over-bright, forced voice.
"How could she enjoy it? She didn"t spend a good deal of time at the party, did she? Two millionaires in one night--that"s pretty good going by anyone"s standards, never mind a woman who"s been fooling the world for years that she"s as frigid as an iceberg!"
"Jeremy!"
"Two millionaires!"
Sue and Kelly spoke together, Jeremy ignoring his wife to turn and smirk at Kelly, "You mean you didn"t know?"
"Know what?" Kelly demanded. The phone started to ring and Sue got up hurriedly.
"It might be Dad," she explained, "he said he might ring.
By the way, Kelly, Jake said to tell you he"s just gone into town and that he won"t be long. "
She got up and left, ignoring her husband, and Kelly wondered if the two of them had quarrelled during the party.
"So you didn"t know, then?" Jeremy continued when Sue had gone.
"I thought not. Fooled you nicely, didn"t he? That blonde girl he was with at the party knew all right. "
A cold tight feeling was gripping her.
"Know what, Jeremy?" she asked tautly.
"That Jake is a millionaire. She obviously recognised him straight away, and I made a few discreet enquiries at the party. It seems your Jake has extensive interests ranging almost worldwide, although he normally keeps a low profile. I bet he though it was hilarious when you walked into that agency and mistook him for one of the staff!"