It was that smile of the Cynic Triumphant, which has been the tocsin for many a cruel riot in Russian villages or mediaeval towns.
"Oh, "oly, "oly, "oly!" said Moses Gould.
Finding that this was not well received, he explained further, exuberance deepening on his dark exuberant features.
"Always fun to see a bloke swallow a wasp when "e"s corfin" up a fly,"
he said pleasantly. "Don"t you see you"ve bunged up old Smith anyhow.
If this parson"s tale"s O.K.--why, Smith is "ot. "E"s pretty "ot.
We find him elopin" with Miss Gray (best respects!) in a cab.
Well, what abart this Mrs. Smith the curate talks of, with her blarsted shyness--transmigogrified into a blighted sharpness?
Miss Gray ain"t been very sharp, but I reckon she"ll be pretty shy."
"Don"t be a brute," growled Michael Moon.
None could lift their eyes to look at Mary; but Inglewood sent a glance along the table at Innocent Smith. He was still bowed above his paper toys, and a wrinkle was on his forehead that might have been worry or shame.
He carefully plucked out one corner of a complicated paper and tucked it in elsewhere; then the wrinkle vanished and he looked relieved.
Chapter III
The Round Road; or, the Desertion Charge
Pym rose with sincere embarra.s.sment; for he was an American, and his respect for ladies was real, and not at all scientific.
"Ignoring," he said, "the delicate and considerable knightly protests that have been called forth by my colleague"s native sense of oration, and apologizing to all for whom our wild search for truth seems unsuitable to the grand ruins of a feudal land, I still think my colleague"s question by no means devoid of rel"vancy. The last charge against the accused was one of burglary; the next charge on the paper is of bigamy and desertion.
It does without question appear that the defence, in aspiring to rebut this last charge, have really admitted the next. Either Innocent Smith is still under a charge of attempted burglary, or else that is exploded; but he is pretty well fixed for attempted bigamy. It all depends on what view we take of the alleged letter from Curate Percy. Under these conditions I feel justified in claiming my right to questions.
May I ask how the defence got hold of the letter from Curate Percy? Did it come direct from the prisoner?"
"We have had nothing direct from the prisoner," said Moon quietly.
"The few doc.u.ments which the defence guarantees came to us from another quarter."
"From what quarter?" asked Dr. Pym.
"If you insist," answered Moon, "we had them from Miss Gray.
"Dr. Cyrus Pym quite forgot to close his eyes, and, instead, opened them very wide.
"Do you really mean to say," he said, "that Miss Gray was in possession of this doc.u.ment testifying to a previous Mrs. Smith?"
"Quite so," said Inglewood, and sat down.
The doctor said something about infatuation in a low and painful voice, and then with visible difficulty continued his opening remarks.
"Unfortunately the tragic truth revealed by Curate Percy"s narrative is only too crushingly confirmed by other and shocking doc.u.ments in our own possession. Of these the princ.i.p.al and most certain is the testimony of Innocent Smith"s gardener, who was present at the most dramatic and eye-opening of his many acts of marital infidelity.
Mr. Gould, the gardener, please."
Mr. Gould, with his tireless cheerfulness, arose to present the gardener.
That functionary explained that he had served Mr. and Mrs. Innocent Smith when they had a little house on the edge of Croydon.
From the gardener"s tale, with its many small allusions, Inglewood grew certain he had seen the place. It was one of those corners of town or country that one does not forget, for it looked like a frontier.
The garden hung very high above the lane, and its end was steep and sharp, like a fortress. Beyond was a roll of real country, with a white path sprawling across it, and the roots, boles, and branches of great gray trees writhing and twisting against the sky.
But as if to a.s.sert that the lane itself was suburban, were sharply relieved against that gray and tossing upland a lamp-post painted a peculiar yellow-green and a red pillar-box that stood exactly at the corner. Inglewood was sure of the place; he had pa.s.sed it twenty times in his const.i.tutionals on the bicycle; he had always dimly felt it was a place where something might occur.
But it gave him quite a shiver to feel that the face of his frightful friend or enemy Smith might at any time have appeared over the garden bushes above. The gardener"s account, unlike the curate"s, was quite free from decorative adjectives, however many he may have uttered privately when writing it.
He simply said that on a particular morning Mr. Smith came out and began to play about with a rake, as he often did. Sometimes he would tickle the nose of his eldest child (he had two children); sometimes he would hook the rake on to the branch of a tree, and hoist himself up with horrible gymnastic jerks, like those of a giant frog in its final agony. Never, apparently, did he think of putting the rake to any of its proper uses, and the gardener, in consequence, treated his actions with coldness and brevity.
But the gardener was certain that on one particular morning in October he (the gardener) had come round the corner of the house carrying the hose, had seen Mr. Smith standing on the lawn in a striped red and white jacket (which might have been his smoking-jacket, but was quite as like a part of his pyjamas), and had heard him then and there call out to his wife, who was looking out of the bedroom window on to the garden, these decisive and very loud expressions--
"I won"t stay here any longer. I"ve got another wife and much better children a long way from here. My other wife"s got redder hair than yours, and my other garden"s got a much finer situation; and I"m going off to them."
With these words, apparently, he sent the rake flying far up into the sky, higher than many could have shot an arrow, and caught it again.
Then he cleared the hedge at a leap and alighted on his feet down in the lane below, and set off up the road without even a hat.
Much of the picture was doubtless supplied by Inglewood"s accidental memory of the place. He could see with his mind"s eye that big bare-headed figure with the ragged rake swaggering up the crooked woodland road, and leaving lamp-post and pillar-box behind.
But the gardener, on his own account, was quite prepared to swear to the public confession of bigamy, to the temporary disappearance of the rake in the sky, and the final disappearance of the man up the road. Moreover, being a local man, he could swear that, beyond some local rumours that Smith had embarked on the south-eastern coast, nothing was known of him again.
This impression was somewhat curiously clinched by Michael Moon in the few but clear phrases in which he opened the defence upon the third charge.
So far from denying that Smith had fled from Croydon and disappeared on the Continent, he seemed prepared to prove all this on his own account.
"I hope you are not so insular," he said, "that you will not respect the word of a French innkeeper as much as that of an English gardener.
By Mr. Inglewood"s favour we will hear the French innkeeper."
Before the company had decided the delicate point Inglewood was already reading the account in question. It was in French. It seemed to them to run something like this:--
"Sir,--Yes; I am Durobin of Durobin"s Cafe on the sea-front at Gras, rather north of Dunquerque. I am willing to write all I know of the stranger out of the sea.
"I have no sympathy with eccentrics or poets. A man of sense looks for beauty in things deliberately intended to be beautiful, such as a trim flower-bed or an ivory statuette. One does not permit beauty to pervade one"s whole life, just as one does not pave all the roads with ivory or cover all the fields with geraniums.
My faith, but we should miss the onions!
"But whether I read things backwards through my memory, or whether there are indeed atmospheres of psychology which the eye of science cannot as yet pierce, it is the humiliating fact that on that particular evening I felt like a poet--like any little rascal of a poet who drinks absinthe in the mad Montmartre.
"Positively the sea itself looked like absinthe, green and bitter and poisonous. I had never known it look so unfamiliar before.
In the sky was that early and stormy darkness that is so depressing to the mind, and the wind blew shrilly round the little lonely coloured kiosk where they sell the newspapers, and along the sand-hills by the sh.o.r.e.
There I saw a fishing-boat with a brown sail standing in silently from the sea. It was already quite close, and out of it clambered a man of monstrous stature, who came wading to sh.o.r.e with the water not up to his knees, though it would have reached the hips of many men.
He leaned on a long rake or pole, which looked like a trident, and made him look like a Triton. Wet as he was, and with strips of seaweed clinging to him, he walked across to my cafe, and, sitting down at a table outside, asked for cherry brandy, a liqueur which I keep, but is seldom demanded.
Then the monster, with great politeness, invited me to partake of a vermouth before my dinner, and we fell into conversation.
He had apparently crossed from Kent by a small boat got at a private bargain because of some odd fancy he had for pa.s.sing promptly in an easterly direction, and not waiting for any of the official boats.
He was, he somewhat vaguely explained, looking for a house. When I naturally asked him where the house was, he answered that he did not know; it was on an island; it was somewhere to the east; or, as he expressed it with a hazy and yet impatient gesture, "over there."
"I asked him how, if he did not know the place, he would know it when he saw it. Here he suddenly ceased to be hazy, and became alarmingly minute.
He gave a description of the house detailed enough for an auctioneer.
I have forgotten nearly all the details except the last two, which were that the lamp-post was painted green, and that there was a red pillar-box at the corner.
""A red pillar-box!" I cried in astonishment. "Why, the place must be in England!"
""I had forgotten," he said, nodding heavily. "That is the island"s name."
""But, ~nom du nom~," I cried testily, "you"ve just come from England, my boy."