""However, when I let him know the truth of your story, he reconsidered the matter, and, smiling at the incontinence of old G---- M----, he said it would be necessary to keep you here for six months longer, in order to pacify him; the less to be lamented," he added, "because your morals would be sure to benefit by your residence here. He desired that I would show you every kindness and attention, and I need not a.s.sure you that you shall have no reason to complain of your treatment."
"This speech of the Superior"s was long enough to afford me time to form a prudent resolution. I saw that by betraying too strong an impatience for my liberty, I should probably be upsetting all my projects. I acknowledged to him, that, as it was necessary to me to remain, it was an infinite comfort to know that I possessed a place in his esteem. I then requested, and with unaffected sincerity, a favour, which could be of no consequence to others, and which would contribute much to my peace of mind; it was to inform a friend of mine, a devout clergyman, who lived at St. Sulpice, that I was at St. Lazare, and to permit me occasionally to receive his visits.
"This was of course my friend Tiberge; not that I could hope from him the a.s.sistance necessary for effecting my liberty; but I wished to make him the unconscious instrument of my designs. In a word, this was my project: I wished to write to Lescaut, and to charge him and our common friends with the task of my deliverance. The first difficulty was to have my letter conveyed to him: this should be Tiberge"s office.
However, as he knew him to be Manon"s brother, I doubted whether he would take charge of this commission. My plan was to enclose my letter to Lescaut in another to some respectable man of my acquaintance, begging of him to transmit the first to its address without delay; and as it was necessary that I should have personal communication with Lescaut, in order to arrange our proceedings, I told him to call on me at St. Lazare, and a.s.sume the name of my eldest brother, as if he had come to Paris expressly to see me. I postponed till our meeting all mention of the safest and most expeditious course I intended to suggest for our future conduct. The governor informed Tiberge of my wish to see him. This ever-faithful friend had not so entirely lost sight of me as to be ignorant of my present abode, and it is probable that, in his heart, he did not regret the circ.u.mstance, from an idea that it might furnish the means of my moral regeneration. He lost no time in paying me the desired visit."
VI
It is a strange thing to note the excess of this pa.s.sion; and how it braves the nature and value of things, by this--that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole is comely in nothing but in love.--BACON.
"My interview with Tiberge was of the most friendly description. I saw that his object was to discover the present temper of my mind. I opened my heart to him without any reserve, except as to the mere point of my intention of escaping. "It is not from such a friend as you,"
said I, "that I can ever wish to dissemble my real feelings. If you flattered yourself with a hope that you were at last about to find me grown prudent and regular in my conduct, a libertine reclaimed by the chastis.e.m.e.nts of fortune, released alike from the trammels of love, and the dominion that Manon wields over me, I must in candour say, that you deceive yourself. You still behold me, as you left me four months ago, the slave--if you will, the unhappy slave--of a pa.s.sion, from which I now hope, as fervently and as confidently as I ever did, to derive eventually solid comfort."
"He answered, that such an acknowledgment rendered me utterly inexcusable; that it was no uncommon case to meet sinners who allowed themselves to be so dazzled with the glare of vice as to prefer it openly to the true splendour of virtue; they were at least deluded by the false image of happiness, the poor dupes of an empty shadow; but to know and feel as I did, that the object of my attachment was only calculated to render me culpable and unhappy, and to continue thus voluntarily in a career of misery and crime, involved a contradiction of ideas and of conduct little creditable to my reason.
""Tiberge," replied I, "it is easy to triumph when your arguments are unopposed. Allow me to reason for a few moments in my turn. Can you pretend that what you call the happiness of virtue is exempt from troubles, and crosses, and cares? By what name will you designate the dungeon, the rack, the inflections and tortures of tyrants? Will you say with the Mystics[1] that the soul derives pleasure from the torments of the body? You are not bold enough to hold such a doctrine--a paradox not to be maintained. This happiness, then, that you prize so much, has a thousand drawbacks, or is, more properly speaking, but a tissue of sufferings through which one hopes to attain felicity. If by the power of imagination one can even derive pleasure from these sufferings, hoping that they may lead to a happy end, why, let me ask, do you deem my conduct senseless, when it is directed by precisely the same principle? I love Manon: I wade through sorrow and suffering in order to attain happiness with her. My path is one indeed of difficulties, but the mere hope of reaching the desired goal makes it easy and delightful; and I shall think myself but too bountifully repaid by one moment of her society, for all the troubles I encounter in my course. There appears therefore no difference between us, or, if there be any, it is a.s.suredly in my favour; for the bliss I hope for is near and tangible, yours is far distant, and purely speculative. Mine is of the same kind as my sufferings, that is to say, evident to my senses; yours is of an incomprehensible nature, and only discernible through the dim medium of faith."
"Tiberge appeared shocked by my remarks. He retired two or three paces from me, while he said, in the most serious tone, that my argument was not only a violation of good sense, but that it was the miserable sophistry of irreligion; "for the comparison," he added, "of the pitiful reward of your sufferings with that held out to us by the divine revelation, is the essence of impiety and absurdity combined."
""I acknowledge," said I, "that the comparison is not a just one, but my argument does not at all depend upon it. I was about to explain what you consider a contradiction--the persevering in a painful pursuit; and I think I have satisfactorily proved, that if there be any contradiction in that, we shall be both equally obnoxious to the charge. It was in this light, only, that I could observe no difference in our cases, and I cannot as yet perceive any.
""You may probably answer, that the proposed end, the promised reward, of virtue, is infinitely superior to that of love? No one disputes it, but that is not the question--we are only discussing the relative aid they both afford in the endurance of affliction. Judge of that by the practical effect: are there not mult.i.tudes who abandon a life of strict virtue? how few give up the pursuits of love!
""Again, you will reply that if there be difficulties in the exercise of virtue, they are by no means universal and sure; that the good man does not necessarily meet tyrants and tortures, and that, on the contrary, a life of virtue is perfectly compatible with repose and enjoyment. I can say with equal truth, that love is often accompanied by content and happiness; and what makes another distinction of infinite advantage to my argument, I may add that love, though it often deludes, never holds out other than hopes of bliss and joy, whilst religion exacts from her votaries mortification and sorrow.
""Do not be alarmed," said I, perceiving that I had almost offended his zealous feelings of devotion. "I only wish to say, that there is no more unsuccessful method of weaning man"s heart from love, than by endeavouring to decry its enjoyments, and by promising him more pleasure from the exercise of virtue. It is an inherent principle in our nature, that our felicity consists only in pleasure. I defy you to conceive any other notion of it; and it requires little time to arrive at the conviction, that, of all pleasures, those of love are immeasurably the most enchanting. A man quickly discerns the delusion, when he hears the promise made of livelier enjoyment, and the effect of such misrepresentation is only to make him doubt the truth of a more solid promise.
""Let the preacher who seeks the reformation of a sinner tell me that virtue is indispensably necessary, but not disguise its difficulty and its attendant denials. Say that the enjoyments of love are fleeting, if you will, that they are rigidly forbidden, that they lead with certainty to eternal suffering; and, what would a.s.suredly make a deeper impression upon me than any other argument, say that the more sweet and delectable they are, the brighter will be the reward of Heaven for giving them up in sacrifice; but do in the name of justice admit, that, const.i.tuted as the heart of man is, they form here, on earth, our most perfect happiness."
"My last sentence restored to Tiberge his good humour. He allowed that my ideas were not altogether so unreasonable. The only point he made, was in asking me why I did not carry my own principle into operation, by sacrificing my pa.s.sion to the hope of that remuneration of which I had drawn so brilliant a picture. "Oh! my dear friend," replied I; "that it is which makes me conscious of my own misery and weakness: true, alas! it is indeed my duty to act according to my argument; but have I the power of governing my own actions? What aid will enable me to forget Manon"s charms?" "G.o.d forgive me," said Tiberge, "I can almost fancy you a Jansenist[2]. "I know not of what sect I am,"
replied I, "nor do I indeed very clearly see to which I ought to belong; but I cannot help feeling the truth of this at least of their tenets."
"One effect of our conversation was to revive my friend"s pity for me in all its force. He perceived that there was in my errors more of weakness than of vice; and he was the more disposed in the end to give me a.s.sistance; without which I should infallibly have perished from distress of mind. However, I carefully concealed from him my intention of escaping from St. Lazare. I merely begged of him to take charge of my letter; I had it ready before he came, and I soon found an excuse for the necessity of writing. He faithfully transmitted it, and Lescaut received before evening the one I had enclosed for him.
"He came to see me next morning, and fortunately was admitted under my brother"s name. I was overjoyed at finding him in my room. I carefully closed the door. "Let us lose no time," I said. "First tell me about Manon, and then advise me how I am to shake off these fetters." He a.s.sured me that he had not seen his sister since the day before my arrest, and that it was only by repeated enquiries, and after much trouble, that he had at length been able to discover her fate as well as mine; and that he had two or three times presented himself at the Magdalen, and been refused admittance. "Wretch!" muttered I to myself, "dearly shall G---- M---- pay for this!"
""As to your escape," continued Lescaut, "it will not be so easy as you imagine. Last evening, I and a couple of friends walked round this establishment to reconnoitre it; and we agreed that, as your windows looked into a court surrounded by buildings, as you yourself mentioned in your letter, there would be vast difficulty in getting you out.
Besides, you are on the third story, and it would be impossible to introduce ropes or ladders through the window. I therefore see no means from without--in the house itself we must hit upon some scheme."
""No," replied I; "I have examined everything minutely, particularly since, through the governor"s indulgence, my confinement has been less rigorous. I am no longer locked into my room; I have liberty to walk in the gallery; but there is, upon every landing, a strong door kept closed night and day, so that it is impossible that ingenuity alone, unaided by some violent efforts, can rescue me.
""Wait," said I, after turning in my mind for a moment an idea that struck me as excellent; "could you bring me a pistol?" "Softly," said Lescaut to me, "you don"t think of committing murder?" I a.s.sured him that I had so little intention of shooting anyone, that it would not be even necessary to have the pistol loaded. "Bring it to me tomorrow," I added, "and do not fail to be exactly opposite the great entrance with two or three of your friends at eleven tomorrow night; I think I shall be able to join you there." He in vain requested me to explain my plan. I told him that such an attempt as I contemplated could only appear rational after it had succeeded. I begged of him to shorten his visit, in order that he might with the less difficulty be admitted next morning. He was accordingly admitted as readily as on his first visit.
He had put on so serious an air, moreover, that a stranger would have taken him for a respectable person.
"When I found in my hand the instrument of my liberty, I no longer doubted my success. It was certainly a strange and a bold project; but of what was I not capable, with the motives that inspired me? I had, since I was allowed permission to walk in the galleries, found opportunities of observing that every night the porter brought the keys of all the doors to the governor, and subsequently there always reigned a profound silence in the house, which showed that the inmates had retired to rest. There was an open communication between my room and that of the Superior. My resolution was, if he refused quietly to surrender the keys, to force him, by fear of the pistol, to deliver them up, and then by their help to gain the street. I impatiently awaited the moment for executing my purpose. The porter arrived at his usual time, that is to say, soon after nine o"clock. I allowed an hour to elapse, in order that the priests as well as the servants might be all asleep. I at length proceeded with my pistol and a lighted candle.
I first gave a gentle tap at the governor"s door to awaken without alarming him. I knocked a second time before he heard me; and supposing of course that it was one of the priests who was taken ill and wanted a.s.sistance, he got out of bed, dressed himself, and came to the door. He had, however, the precaution to ask first who it was, and what was wanted? I was obliged to mention my name, but I a.s.sumed a plaintive tone, to make him believe that I was indisposed. "Ah! it is you, my dear boy," said he on opening the door; "what can bring you here at this hour?" I stepped inside the door, and leading him to the opposite side of the room, I declared to him that it was absolutely impossible for me to remain longer at St. Lazare; that the night was the most favourable time for going out un.o.bserved, and that I confidently expected, from his tried friendship, that he would consent to open the gates for me, or entrust me with the keys to let myself out.
"This compliment to his friendship seemed to surprise him. He stood for a few moments looking at me without making any reply. Finding that I had no time to lose, I just begged to a.s.sure him that I had the most lively sense of all his kindnesses, but that freedom was dearer to man than every other consideration, especially so to me, who had been cruelly and unjustly deprived of it; that I was resolved this night to recover it, cost what it would, and fearing lest he might raise his voice and call for a.s.sistance, I let him see the powerful incentive to silence which I had kept concealed in my bosom. "A pistol!" cried he.
"What! my son? will you take away my life in return for the attentions I have shown you?" "G.o.d forbid," replied I; "you are too reasonable to drive me to that horrible extremity: but I am determined to be free, and so firmly determined, that if you defeat my project, I will put an end to your existence." "But, my dear son!" said he, pale and frightened, "what have I done to you? What reason have you for taking my life?" "No!" replied I, impatiently, "I have no design upon your life, if you, yourself, wish to live; open but the doors for me, and you will find me the most attached of friends." I perceived the keys upon the table. I requested he would take them in his hand and walk before me, making as little noise as he possibly could.
"He saw the necessity of consenting. We proceeded, and as he opened each door, he repeated, always with a sigh, "Ah! my son, who could have believed it?" "No noise, good Father, no noise," I as often answered in my turn. At length we reached a kind of barrier, just inside the great entrance. I already fancied myself free, and kept close behind the governor, with my candle in one hand, and my pistol in the other.
"While he was endeavouring to open the heavy gate, one of the servants, who slept in an adjoining room, hearing the noise of the bolts, jumped out of bed, and peeped forth to see what was pa.s.sing. The good Father apparently thought him strong enough to overpower me. He commanded him, most imprudently, to come to his a.s.sistance. He was a powerful ruffian, and threw himself upon me without an instant"s hesitation.
There was no time for parleying--I levelled my pistol and lodged the contents in his breast! "See, Father, of what mischief you have been the cause," said I to my guide; "but that must not prevent us from finishing our work," I added, pushing him on towards the last door. He did not dare refuse to open it. I made my exit in perfect safety, and, a few paces off, found Lescaut with two friends waiting for me, according to his promise.
"We removed at once to a distance. Lescaut enquired whether he had not heard the report of a pistol? "You are to blame," said I, "why did you bring it charged?" I, however, could not help thanking him for having taken this precaution, without which I doubtless must have continued much longer at St. Lazare. We went to pa.s.s the night at a tavern, where I made up, in some degree, for the miserable fare which had been doled out to me for nearly three months. I was very far, however, from tasting perfect enjoyment; Manon"s sufferings were mine. "She must be released," said I to my companions: "this was my sole object in desiring my own liberty. I rely on your aiding me with all your ingenuity; as for myself, my life shall be devoted to the purpose."
"Lescaut, who was not deficient in tact, and still less in that better part of valour called discretion, dwelt upon the necessity of acting with extreme caution: he said that my escape from St. Lazare, and the accident that happened on my leaving it, would a.s.suredly create a sensation; that the lieutenant-general of police would cause a strict search to be made for me, and it would be difficult to evade him; in fine, that, unless disposed to encounter something worse, perhaps, than St. Lazare, it would be requisite for me to remain concealed for a few days, in order to give the enemy"s zeal time to cool. No doubt this was wise counsel; but, one should have been wise oneself to have followed it. Such calculating slowness little suited my pa.s.sion. The utmost I could bring myself to promise was, that I would sleep through the whole of the next day. He locked me in my bedroom, where I remained patiently until night.
"I employed great part of the time in devising schemes for relieving Manon. I felt persuaded that her prison was even more inaccessible than mine had been. Force was out of the question. Artifice was the only resource; but the G.o.ddess of invention herself could not have told me how to begin. I felt the impossibility of working in the dark, and therefore postponed the further consideration of my schemes until I could acquire some knowledge of the internal arrangements of the Hospital, in which she was confined.
"As soon as night restored to me my liberty, I begged of Lescaut to accompany me. We were not long in drawing one of the porters into conversation; he appeared a reasonable man. I pa.s.sed for a stranger who had often with admiration heard talk of the Hospital, and of the order that reigned within it. I enquired into the most minute details; and, proceeding from one subject to another, we at length spoke of the managers, and of these I begged to know the names and the respective characters. He gave me such information upon the latter point as at once suggested an idea which flattered my hopes, and I immediately set about carrying it into execution.
"I asked him (this being a matter essential to my plan) whether any of the gentlemen had children. He said he could not answer me with certainty as to all, but as for M. de T----, one of the princ.i.p.al directors, he knew that he had a son old enough to be married, and who had come several times to the Hospital with his father. This was enough for my purpose.
"I immediately put an end to our interview, and, in returning, I told Lescaut of the plan I had formed. "I have taken it," said I, "into my head, that M. de T----, the son, who is rich and of good family, must have the same taste for pleasure that other young men of his age generally have. He could hardly be so bad a friend to the fair s.e.x, nor so absurd as to refuse his services in an affair of love. I have arranged a plan for interesting him in favour of Manon. If he is a man of feeling and of right mind, he will give us his a.s.sistance from generosity. If he is not to be touched by a motive of this kind, he will at least do something for a handsome girl, if it were only with the hope of hereafter sharing her favours. I will not defer seeing him," added I, "beyond tomorrow. I really feel so elated by this project, that I derive from it a good omen."
"Lescaut himself allowed that the idea was not unreasonable, and that we might fairly entertain a hope of turning it to account. I pa.s.sed the night less sorrowfully.
"Next morning I dressed as well as, in my present state of indigence, I could possibly contrive to do; and went in a hackney coach to the residence of M. de T----. He was surprised at receiving a visit from a perfect stranger. I augured favourably from his countenance and the civility of his manner. I explained my object in the most candid way; and, to excite his feelings as much as possible, I spoke of my ardent pa.s.sion and of Manon"s merit, as of two things that were unequalled, except by each other. He told me, that although he had never seen Manon, he had heard of her; at least, if the person I was talking of was the same who had been the mistress of old G---- M----. I conjectured that he must have heard of the part I had acted in that transaction, and in order to conciliate him more and more by treating him with confidence, I told him everything that had occurred to Manon and myself. "You see, sir," said I, "that all that can interest me in life, all that can command my affections, is in your hands. I have no reserve with you, because I have been informed of your generous and n.o.ble character; and, being of the same age, I trust I shall find some resemblance in our dispositions."
"He seemed flattered by this mark of candour and confidence. He replied in a manner that became a man of the world, and a man of feeling also, for they are not always synonymous terms. He told me that he appreciated my visit as a piece of good fortune; that he considered my friendship as a valuable acquisition, and that he would endeavour to prove himself worthy of it, by the sincerity of his services. He could not absolutely promise to restore Manon to my arms, because, as he said, he himself had very little influence; but he offered to procure me the pleasure of seeing her, and to do everything in his power to effect her release. I was the more satisfied with this frank avowal as to his want of influence, than I should have been by an unqualified promise of fulfilling all my wishes. I found in his moderation a pledge of his sincerity: in a word, I no longer doubted my entire success. The promise alone of enabling me to see Manon filled me with grat.i.tude, and I testified it in so earnest a manner, as to give him a favourable opinion of my heart and disposition; we shook hands warmly, and parted sworn friends, merely from mutual regard, and that natural feeling which prompts a man of kind and generous sentiments to esteem another of congenial mind.
"He, indeed, exceeded me in the proofs of his esteem; for, inferring from my adventures, and especially my late escape from St. Lazare, that I might be in want of money, he offered me his purse, and pressed me to accept it. I refused, but said to him, "You are too kind, my dear sir!
If in addition to such proofs of kindness and friendship, you enable me to see Manon again, rely on my eternal regard and grat.i.tude. If you succeed in restoring altogether this dear creature to my arms, I should think myself happy in spilling the last drop of my blood in your service."
"Before we parted, we agreed as to the time and place for our meeting.
He was so considerate as to appoint the afternoon of the same day.
"I waited for him at a cafe, where he joined me about four o"clock, and we went together towards the Magdalen; my knees trembled under me as I crossed the courts. "Ye heavenly powers!" said I, "then I shall once more behold the idol of my heart--the dear object of so many sighs and lamentations! All I now ask of Providence is, to vouchsafe me strength enough to reach her presence, and after that, to dispose as it pleaseth of my future fate, and of my life itself. Beyond this, I have no prayer to utter."
"M. de T---- spoke to some of the porters of the establishment, who appeared all anxious to please him. The quarter in which Manon"s room lay was pointed out to us, and our guide carried in his hand the key of her chamber: it was of frightful size. I asked the man who conducted us, and whose duty it was to attend to Manon, how she pa.s.sed her time?
He said, that she had a temper of the most angelic sweetness; that even he, disagreeable as his official duties must render him, had never heard from her a single syllable in the nature of rebuke or harshness; that her tears had never ceased to flow during the first six weeks after her arrival, but that latterly she seemed to bear her misfortunes with more resignation, and that she employed herself from morning till night with her needle, excepting some hours that she, each day, devoted to reading. I asked whether she had been decently provided for. He a.s.sured me that at least she had never felt the want of necessaries.
"We now approached her door. My heart beat almost audibly in my bosom.
I said to M. de T----, "Go in alone, and prepare her for my visit; I fear that she may be overcome by seeing me unexpectedly." The door was opened. I remained in the pa.s.sage, and listened to the conversation.
He said that he came to bring her consolation; that he was a friend of mine, and felt deeply interested for the happiness of us both. She asked with the tenderest anxiety, whether he could tell her what had become of me. He promised that she should soon see me at her feet, as affectionate and as faithful as ever. "When?" she asked. "This very day," said he; "the happy moment shall not be long delayed; nay, this very instant even, if you wish it." She at once understood that I was at the door; as she was rushing towards it, I entered. We embraced each other with that abounding and impa.s.sioned tenderness, which an absence of many months makes so delicious to those who truly love. Our sighs, our broken exclamations, the thousand endearing appellations of love, exchanged in languishing rapture, astonished M. de T----, and affected him even to tears.
""I cannot help envying you," said he, as he begged us to be seated; "there is no lot, however glorious, that I would hold as comparable to the possession of a mistress at once so tender and impa.s.sioned." "Nor would I," I replied, "give up her love for universal empire!"
"The remainder of an interview which had been so long and so ardently desired by me, was of course as tender as the commencement. Poor Manon related all her adventures, and I told her mine: we bitterly wept over each other"s story. M. de T---- consoled us by his renewed promises to exert himself in our service. He advised us not to make this, our first interview, of too long duration, that he might have the less difficulty in procuring us the same enjoyment again. He at length induced us to follow his advice. Manon especially could not reconcile herself to the separation: she made me a hundred times resume my seat.
At one time she held me by my hands, at another by my coat. "Alas!"
she said, "in what an abode do you leave me! Who will answer for my ever seeing you again?" M. de T---- promised her that he would often come and see her with me. "As to the abode," he said, "it must no longer be called the Magdalen; it is Versailles! now that it contains a person who deserves the empire of all hearts."