Maria-sama ga Miteru

Chapter 125

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Twister was a way to gauge a person"s athletic ability, their decisive ability, their endurance, and their body"s flexibility.

(Yoshino had a bit of the first, but she knew she had close to none of the others.)

When Yoshino had learned that the final round of the tournament was going to be Twister, she knew that there was a 97% chance that she would lose.

It wasn"t quite that Yoshino lacked confidence, but that until the winter of her Freshman year of high school, Yoshino had never done anything resembling a sport. Yoshino knew that the only physical ability she had, had been slowly acc.u.mulated over the past year after she had become healthy. Her flexibility had developed much the same.

(And cool, composed Noriko-chan had a lot of the first.)

And it was obvious to everyone that Noriko-chan"s physical ability and flexibility had developed as a natural part of education standards leading up to middle school. Without taking any natural athletic ability into consideration, Yoshino knew that Noriko-chan would be better than Yoshino"s awkward self.

And Noriko was athleticism itself. She had sculpted herself as if she were a gift from the G.o.ds, and her fame preceded her.

(Please Heavenly Mother Maria-sama, lend me your strength.)

And then, what was the prize of this grand struggle? A free meal ticket in the noodle cafeteria.

But Yoshino wanted to win at all costs, and not because ramen was Yoshino-san"s favorite food. She simply hated to lose.

The hastily made imitation Twister that they played had card suits on the mat, instead of the conventional colored circles. The four suits: Hearts, Diamonds, Clovers, and Spades.

This wasn"t roulette, so as soon as a single card was drawn from a deck, one was bound by the rules to place one"s hands or one"s feet on the marking which corresponded to the card drawn. Odd numbers corresponded to the left, even numbers corresponded to the right. Ace through six meant that the hands had to move, and seven through King meant that the legs had to move. So if one draws a four of Hearts, then one must place one"s right hand on the Heart marking on the mat.

"So Yoshino, how many cards from the top should I draw the next card?"

Rather than using their twisted arms and legs to draw cards, Sachiko-sama the exhibitioner would draw cards.

"The t... tenth."

"One, two, three, four..., the tenth card is the Five of Spades. Please place your left hand on the Spade."

"Ah, but that"s."

If she were to move to the nearest Spade, then she would have to move her right hand to reach the spade.

Yoshino puffed out her chest, and pushed her left hand to land onto the left Spade. But Yoshino was pushing against her limit.

"Five from the top, please."

Noriko-chan intoned confidently. Would this girl ever tire? Or was this what being young actually meant?

"The Eight of Hearts. Noriko-chan, please place your right leg on the Heart."

"Sure."

Noriko-chan wriggled her right leg, as Yoshino jealously watched. Suddenly, Yoshino screamed uselessly, and her shoulders began buckling.

(This is the end for me.)

As Yoshino fell to the ground, she could hear an "Ah" and a tired thud next to her.

"No way..."

Yoshino-san saw Noriko-chan"s body greeting the floor.[1]

Because Noriko had so suddenly given way, Yoshino originally thought that Noriko-chan had lost on purpose. But this wasn"t the sort of game that one let one"s Sempai win on purpose, and Noriko-chan had a very bitter look on her face, so Yoshino knew that wasn"t it.

When Noriko-chan noticed Yoshino"s searching glance, she huffed a bit and turned her body such that Yoshino wouldn"t be able to see Noriko-chan"s face.

(I see.)

Noriko-chan hates showing weakness, so until the very end she parades an image of calm.

"Both of you fell at the same time. It"ll be hard to choose a winner."

The onlookers to the event, Sachiko-sama, Rei-chan, Tsutako-san, Touko-chan, and Nana, formed a circle and began talking. They looked like professional Sumo wrestlers.

Eventually, the group seemed to come to a conclusion, and Sachiko-sama came to notify the two of it.

"A rematch is necessary."

"No way!"

Yoshino-chan chimed, as Noriko-chan raised her hand. To repeat such a backbreaking experience just for some ramen is unthinkable.

"-- Which is what we knew your reactions would be. So we"ve decided that the two of you would be declared champions."

Two ramen meal tickets would be handed out to the winners.

Noriko-chan and Yoshino wished each other the sportsman"s "good game", and shook stiff hands. Yoshino hadn"t lost, so her spirits were high.

Yoshino quickly set the whole thing aside, and suddenly switched to "Nana and Rei-chan need to be introduced to each other" mode.

"Rei-chan, Rei-chan"."

Yoshino gripped Nana"s hand as she walked toward Rei-chan.

"Nana-chan wants to, you know, face off with you some day."

Rei-chan turned toward them and replied curiously quickly.

"That"s fine. In Kendo?"

How did she know?

Just as she did when she talked about knitting, baking cakes, or reading Cosmos stories, Rei-chan was explaining, not answering questions.

"You can come to my house any time this winter. We have a dojo, though it is a bit small."

Why was Rei-chan being so hospitable to a girl she had just met?

"Uh, um, Rei-chan? You don"t have to be that open..."

Yoshino had said "some day", and she had meant "some day" Rei-chan. Even if she hadn"t been so strict with her definition of "some day", she still didn"t want it to go that quickly.

"Nana gets really busy around New Year"s, so there"s no way you can come, right Nana? When the new year starts, the club work becomes very hectic though."

"But even though we want a private match, we can still use the school"s martial arts equipment."

This year was Rei-chan"s last year as President of the Kendo club. And Nana hadn"t even become a member yet.

That was why Rei-chan called it a private match. Rei-chan didn"t have to be so strict with her words. But then, that was Rei-chan.

"Then, how about during spring, after Nana enters high school? Like, Rei-chan could come in her free time from college to check up on her high school kouhai!"

Yoshino really thought it was a good idea. That way Rei-chan and Nana could just meet briefly and then fade off in each other"s lives.

One spring came around, Nana would probably be Yoshino"s soeur. From there, Rei-chan and Nana"s relationship would have to be a slow work-in-progress.

But.

"Check up on Kouhai? After graduating? .... No, I don"t intend to do anything like that."

Rei-chan declared bluntly.

"Why? Are you mad?"

"No, I"m not mad. The real problem is, there"s no way I could do that. I might be able to, if I end up going to a school near Lillian, like Lillian University."

"...... What?"

Yoshino didn"t understand what Rei-chan was saying. Why would a person going to Lillian Girls" University say "like Lillian University"?

"But Rei-chan, you"ve always..."

She had always planned to go to Lillian Girls" University. That way, she could be near Yoshino. That"s what she had always been saying.

Thump. Thump. Yoshino could hear her heart beat in her ears.

"I didn"t fill out the escalator application."[2]

"W, Wait!"

What was going on? Yoshino couldn"t get the thoughts in her own head straight.

Yoshino had to calm down. If she calmed down, she knew she"d be able to pick out the right words.

(R.. Rei-chan said she didn"t fill out the escalator application?)

But that"s ... but that"s ... why didn"t she?

"I won"t be going to Lillian University."

Rei-chan spelled out, slowly but seriously.

"No!"

"Yes."

If she looked at the situation objectively, every word that Rei-chan was saying made perfect, logical sense.

But only if she used her third-level logic faculties.

To be considered for preferential admission into Lillian Girl"s University, one had to fill out the escalator application. That Rei-chan didn"t fill out the escalator application meant that she had no intention of going to Lillian University.

"Hey, wait."

But this was a matter for Rei-chan to decide. If Yoshino looked objectively at the whole thing, Yoshino had no right to decide such things for Rei-chan.

"Sachiko-sama! Rei-chan"s ...!"

Yoshino ran over to Sachiko-sama, and clung to her. Rei-chan was saying weird things. If she didn"t have some sort of external anchor, Yoshino knew she"d think she was going crazy.

"Yoshino-chan, calm down."

"Calm down, how can I ...."

There was no way Yoshino could do that, not in the state she was in. But Sachiko-sama was calm.

No! NO!

"Sachiko-sama, you *knew*!"

"Yes, I did."

With a completely cool facade mixed with pity, Sachiko-sama nodded.

Yoshino stepped away from Sachiko-sama. Just what was going on here. Yoshino didn"t know.

It"s as if the world had broken.

Words weren"t coming out of her mouth. Had Rei-chan and Sachiko-sama been taken over by aliens?

There was no other explanation Yoshino could think of.

How could Sachiko-sama know something that I didn"t?

Something about Rei-chan!

Something about Rei-chan!!

"Yoshino-sama, you ..."

Yoshino heard Nana"s voice from behind.

"You didn"t know?"

"... *What* ?"

Yoshino slowly turned around to face Nana. This couldn"t be happening. Nana, too, had been taken over by aliens.

"Well."

Now Noriko-chan turned to look at Yoshino. So, Noriko-chan had known about it too?

The look in Noriko-chan"s face confirmed it. Yoshino"s surprise jumped into anger.

How could this happen?

"What the heck is ...."

Yoshino yelled.

"How could I be the only one who didn"t know something that important about Rei-chan?!"

When Yumi and Shimako returned to the Rose Mansion, they found it in uproar.

"How could I be the only one who didn"t know something that important about Rei-chan?!"

Or at least, Yoshino-san was the one in uproar.

What had caused this? Yumi had barely picked up a few s.n.a.t.c.hes of the previous conversation from Yoshino"s charged voice. Words such as "University" and "Rei-chan" gave Yumi a good idea what the commotion was about.

"Yumi-san, Shimako-san."

Yoshino, looking as if she were a demon, pounced upon Shimako-san and Yumi as they entered the room.

"Did you know?"

Yumi nodded, and Shimako-san shook her head. Shimako-san though didn"t even know the situation that Yoshino-san was questioning her about.

Based on Yumi"s answer to the question, Yoshino-san turned her head now toward Yumi.

"Since when?"

So she wanted to know how long Yumi had known for? Yumi replied succinctly "earlier".

Yumi suspected that Yoshino-san was asking "Did you know?" and "since when?" because she hadn"t known that Rei-sama would be going to a different university. Yumi could see the more difficult question "Then why didn"t you tell me?" contained within Yoshino-san.

"Earlier. When we were eating cake. It was Rei-sama herself who told me."

Rei-sama herself was sitting in a chair right next to them, but Yumi had no choice but to talk about Rei-sama.

"I hadn"t known whether Yoshino-san knew about Rei-sama"s decision or not, but the reason I didn"t come and talk to you about it immediately is because I had naively a.s.sumed that there was no way that Yoshino-san wouldn"t know. For that ... I"m sorry."

Yoshino-san squeaked an "Ah" softly.

"I see. So that"s what you guys were talking about. Yumi-san, you remember seeing me there, right?"

"I had?"

I don"t remember. I"m sorry.

"Yep. You saw me. For sure. I think I may have even called you, Yumi-san. So ... while you were eating the cake, huh? Well, I can"t say anything then, Yumi-san. You did nothing wrong. I wondered what you guys were talking about then, but I didn"t come and ask. If anything, it"s my fault then."

Yoshino-san"s anger visibly decreased.

"But Rei-chan, you"re the real person at fault here!"

After she finished her friends" direct examinations, Yoshino-san decided to acquit them, and now turned her anger once more toward Rei-sama. She held onto Rei-chan and began hitting her shoulder.

"Why, why was I the last to know?!"

Well, Shimako-san hadn"t known either, so Yoshino-san technically was not the last to know, but to her, being last or second last was the same thing.

"Why didn"t you let me know?!"

Rei-sama had fallen silent, and let Yoshino-san continue to hit her. And when Yoshino-san finally became tired of hitting Rei-sama, she answered.

"You hadn"t asked."

The people around them who were watching over the scene suddenly felt the air charge with tension. ""You hadn"t asked"?" Yoshino-san hadn"t said anything, was that really a reason?

Yoshino-san couldn"t even understand such a train of thought.

"Why would I even dream of asking you, Rei-chan? You had always been telling me that you would be going to Lillian Girls" University."

"That"s right, isn"t it. I"m sorry."

"No, no more."

Yoshino-san dropped her tightly coiled fist. No matter how many times she hit Rei-sama, Rei-sama wouldn"t change her mind. It might be to just hear her out.

"Why did you want to go to another school?"

"I wanted to study something that Lillian Girls" University didn"t offer."

"And what would that be?"

"I wanted to learn Kinesiology."

"... Kinesiology?"

Rei-sama wanted to learn about Kinesiology. Everyone felt like nodding, it was a decision that seemed very Rei-sama-ish. But then again, had Rei-sama taken Home Economics, that too would have felt very Rei-sama-ish.[3]

"Whether I"ll actually continue on with the family dojo I don"t know, but I wanted to do something at least related to it. I can help out kids, and teach them about their physical development, and now my knowledge about how the body works won"t go to waste. I really want to study kinesiology."

"Even more than Lillian"s Home Economics?"

"I just do those things as hobbies. They"ve just been things I do idly."

"... I see."

Yoshino-san finally smiled. And Yumi suddenly turned her gaze toward Rei-sama.

"I would have wanted to have talked about this a long time ago, just the two of us. If we had talked thoroughly about it, then I wouldn"t have minded at all."

"I"m sorry."

Rei-sama began stroking Yoshino-san"s head.

It didn"t matter to them that there were people around them. Everyone around them became a bit embarra.s.sed, but Yoshino-san and Rei-sama had retreated into their own special world.

"Well at least you could have told me before you told anyone else. But I really wanted to be the first to know."

"I"m sorry."

Rei-sama continued to whisper "I"m sorry" repeatedly. She seemed to be a parrot who knew no other phrases.

I"m sorry, I"m sorry, I"m sorry, I"m Sorry.

Witnessing the whole scene made Yumi want to cry. Yoshino-san had her forehead resting on Rei-sama"s shoulder and maybe was crying. And maybe the occasional snorting noises by Rei-sama had nothing to do with tears.

But this whole Yellow Rose event wasn"t completely unrelated Yumi.

Like Yoshino-san, Yumi too had an Onee-sama who was leaving in the Spring. Rei-sama, Sachiko-sama, and yes probably second years through time immemorial have had to watch their grande soeurs leave them.

But that big event in their grande soeurs life, that thing called graduation, would probably happen to all of them. And the real trouble after their grande soeur"s graduation wouldn"t be as much a curiosity with what their grande soeur was doing, but simply the burden of having to live without a grande soeur.

Suddenly, Yumi cried out.

"Onee-sama!"

"... What?"

Sachiko-sama turned back suspiciously. It felt like the flip of a switch had turned the focus from the Yellow Rose family to the Red Rose family.

But Yumi couldn"t stop herself.

"Onee-sama, where are you going after graduation?"

"Me?"

"You haven"t told me yet. I haven"t really asked you, and it wasn"t because I was like Yoshino-san and thought "you must be going to University A", and I had no idea where you wanted to go, and so I was too scared to ask, and ..."

"Yumi."

"But it"s a good time to ask. So please, tell me Onee-sama. After you graduate, where will you be going?"

No matter how far from Lillian she decides to go, I won"t react, Yumi told her heart. If she prepared herself correctly, she knew her shock would be much less than Yoshino-san"s.

"... I wanted to talk about such things in a much quieter place, between the two of us."

Sachiko-san sighed and said, sounding much like Yoshino-san did earlier.

"I"m sorry."

"But no, you"re right Yumi. It is a good time to talk about future plans. I"m"

Before Yumi could finish stilling her heart of doubt, Sachiko-sama began her answer.

"I"ll be going to Lillian University."

".... Oh."

Lillian University ...!

"Really?!"

"O, Onee-sama! You took the escalator exam?!"

"What"s wrong Yumi? You look shocked. I"ll be in the same area as Lillian High, so what"s wrong?"

"N... n... no, nothing"s wrong."

"Unlike Rei, I had no inclination to take my studies anywhere but along the same path I"ve been walking on. There won"t be any new surprises for me at Lillian Girls University."

"I see. Congratulations!"

"Yumi, you know better. I"ve applied, but I haven"t gotten the results back yet."

"I know!"

But whether or not Sachiko-sama announced the decision, she was sure to get in. Universities always allowed higher ranked students in, so all universities were a sure shot for Sachiko-sama.

"Since I never wanted to go anywhere but Lillian University, I wouldn"t want to apply anywhere else. Good luck to everyone else once the new year starts."[4]

"Okay!"

How many times had Yumi shouted?

Yumi wondered whether the Red Rose sisters too had created their own little world, and had alienated everyone else around them, though she knew that the truth wasn"t so romantic. Yumi came back to her surroundings and took the chance to look around.

But it seemed like they couldn"t have been in this special world for too long, because everyone seemed to be whispering "good for them, good for them" and quickly moving onto other topics.

"The Twister board seems pretty worn out, what should we do with it?"

"It is pretty bad, isn"t it? Can we tape the back of it up with some craft tape?"

"Huh, you really think we can use this again?"

"There"s just a bit of tea left. Do you want to heat it up again?"

"Let"s collect all the empty cups."

"Let"s see how hot the Green Tea is"

"How much do the exams cost?"

The conversations just piled up on top of each other.

This was the time after the tournament, right before the next event, which they had purposefully scheduled nothing in. And at regular intervals, Tsutako-san"s camera shutter blanketed the room like background music.

A room full of conversation.

Everyone moved around aimlessly, absorbed in their conversations. The whole room seemed like a crucible of conversation. Much like the school entrance, full of students talking as they walked to school.

The Christmas Party picture frame seemed to be filled up, with everyone in their place.

So Yumi was happy. She just gazed wondrously at the scene, and kept herself out of it. It seemed like some piece of beautiful, shining abstract art wrapping paper.

But within it all, one person seemed to not blend into the picture frame.

She slowly began throwing off the chains of belonging.

It seemed like Touko-chan was leaving the room, alone.

"... Touko-chan."

Yumi tagged behind the hastily-leaving Touko-chan, and herself hastily left the room.

Even though Touko-chan had left in a hurry, there was no point in hurrying down the stairs. That way she could walk down the stairs without making any noise, and could properly follow Touko-chan outside of the Rose Mansion.

If her footsteps were too loud, or she made jarring door opening and closing noises, then someone was bound to notice. But Touko-chan had left, without even turning back.

"Wait."

Yumi called out to Touko-chan.

Touko-chan stopped walking. She turned back to look at Yumi, but her face betrayed no emotion, almost as if she had known that Yumi had been following her all along.

"Are you leaving?"

She was wearing her coat, and she had all of her stuff. No matter how you looked at it, the question was a completely idiotic one to ask to a student who was obviously going home.[5]

"Yeah."

Touko-chan nodded and once again began walking.

"Well I just wanted to know whether you were really going home halfway through the party."

"It seems like I am."

Yumi walked forward quickly and caught up to Touko-chan.

"Kanako-san seems to have left long ago."

Touko-chan"s whispered words dripped venom. She really wanted to talk as little as possible.

"Yeah, she did. But Touko-chan doesn"t have to be as punctual."

"I had mentioned that I had somewhere to be, had I not?"

"You did, I think."

They walked on in silence for a while, but Touko-chan finally broke the silence.

"Why are you walking with me? Or are you going home too, Yumi-sama? Surely you didn"t come to school on a day like this with just a small handbag, Yumi-sama?"

"Haha, no way."

She hadn"t brought her coat, her m.u.f.fler, or her other handbag.

"I just wanted to walk with Touko-chan for a while."

"Do you always pay such little attention to what others want, Yumi-sama?"

"Am I bothering you then?"

"... No."

Not bad, right? Yumi walked along happily.

"But I"m not exactly inviting you either."

"Obviously."

Touko-chan was, as always, cold.

Yumi walked with Touko-chan down the cold, dark school corridor as she walked up to the first year shoe box, where she collected her school shoes. Yumi then walked with Touko-chan to the entrance.

Touko-chan kept her school shoes in her bag so she could take them home with her, as she would do any other day. But tomorrow, Yumi remembered, was the start of winter vacation.

"You really just wanted to walk with me then, Yumi-sama."

"Touko-chan whispered."

"Huh?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to talk with me about anything."

They had walked down together. And now Touko-chan wanted Yumi to continue. Touko-chan didn"t want to leave school alone.

She wanted someone to be there with her.

She didn"t want to just leave like this.

Yumi had no choice but to walk with Touko-chan, to not alienate her. So Yumi said "Fine, let"s walk a bit more."

"Ah, so you want to talk huh. Sure, let"s talk."

Yumi wasn"t mortally bound to talk. But then, that didn"t mean that Yumi didn"t want to talk to Touko-chan either.

But Touko-chan was with her, now. To Yumi, her presence itself had much worth.

When Yumi thought of Touko-chan, her heart would feel squeezed if Touko-chan were not there.

Perhaps that was because of the new experiences she had with Touko-chan, or her lonely faces, or the feeling of her cold hands.

But in spite of it all.

Every time she wanted to ask a question like "Did anything happen?" or "Is there anything I can help you out with?", she just couldn"t get it out. Every time she thought along those lines, she knew that Touko-chan"s response would be "No, you can"t do anything", and Yumi would feel depressed.

But Yumi was very happy to have the real Touko-chan in front of her. This Touko-chan not only had a face, but was also wearing her coat. There was no mistaking her for a figment of Yumi"s imagination.[6]

"But wow, Rei-sama really surprised me."

Yumi searched for words and landed upon the hastle-free topic of what had just coincidentally occurred.

"Well isn"t Yumi-sama happy that Sachiko-sama will be staying in Lillian?"

Was it Yumi"s imagination or were Touko-chan"s words a bit pointed? No, it wasn"t just some hapless musing on Yumi"s part.

But this wasn"t the first time Touko-chan was acting so coldly. She wasn"t any other meek girl, so she found offense even at Yumi"s words.

Yumi pushed herself back together, and continued talking.

"You mean, aren"t I happy that a third year chose her future path the way I had wanted her to... right?"

How about that for an answer? Touko-chan couldn"t criticize her logic for being too simple. But.

"The world isn"t full of people who can follow the path they wanted to."

Touko-chan said.

"... Huh?"

"Someone might want to be something, but find out that there"s a large gap between reality and expectation."

"T... Touko-chan?"

This wasn"t some sort of simple criticism. Touko-chan"s face didn"t have a rebellious or strained face showing some strong emotion. Instead it was a face carefully crafted by some internal will.

Perhaps Touko-chan wanted to just say something meaningful to someone. Yumi was facing Touko-chan"s deep-seated reflections.

"A gap?"

Yumi reflect the conversation back to Touko-chan. She wanted Touko-chan to talk more about what she had just said.

"In an elementary school social studies cla.s.s, once we had to work with a blank map."

"When I was given my blank map, I was extremely happy."

Touko-chan smiled broadly. What was causing the smile? Was she remembering what she was feeling at the time, or was she just smiling by putting herself back in that memory? Yumi didn"t know.

"It was a blank map of j.a.pan with only an outline. The map only had prefecture borders and rivers drawn in. I wanted to take this map and draw mountains in it. I wanted to draw cities. I wanted to show the prefecture office of each prefecture, on that page I could even control the weather. In front of that page, I was G.o.d. I could make the map anything I wanted it to be. Why? Because nothing had been drawn in."

Touko-chan suddenly grew heavy as she spoke. Yumi was clueless. This blank map had something to do with Touko-chan"s hidden feelings.

"But as the cla.s.s went on, and I filled the page bit by bit, I noticed something. The map hadn"t turned out as good as I thought it would. I had wanted to make a map to beat all other maps, and yet the fruit of my hard labor was nothing at all the way I had imagined it to be. I wanted to make a map as good as the printed maps you see around you. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn"t escape the limits of being an elementary school student."

Touko-chan"s face clouded.

"The map should have been shining. And yet, its brilliance had faded. There was no going back. And it was because I was the one who had made it."

Yumi couldn"t laugh the whole thing off as normal. To Touko-chan"s elementary school self, it must have been a depressing blow. But what was underlying Touko-chan"s explanation was something about the blank map itself.

There was always a day as a kid when one realized that one couldn"t do what one wanted to, or one couldn"t have things go the way one wanted them to. But this was --

"Life is like that blank map. It doesn"t go the way you want it to. That"s what I was trying to show."

The two stood before the statue of Maria-sama. When the sun was up in the sky, it was surrounded by the mingling of students, the pauses of couples exchanging presents, and of soeurs exchanging rosaries. But at this hour, there was no-one left.

"If I can"t make the perfect map, then why can"t I just smear it with pink, white, black, or maybe even polka-dots?"

Touko-chan hissed to herself.

Pink? Polka dots? They were going back to these blank maps and all this symbology?

"The teacher had seen the problems in my map and had taken points off for them. I didn"t care. I wanted my map to be as beautiful as possible. But it would never be."

Touko-chan suddenly veered off into some direction that Yumi couldn"t follow. But Yumi did understand what Touko-chan was talking about. Touko-chan was worrying about her future. This experience from her past had somehow combined with what was happening to her in the present, and created this situation.

Yumi searched for something to say. Just what could she say to something like this? Yumi needed someone to tell her. How could she help Touko-chan?

"Touko-chan."

Touko-chan saw the glitter in Yumi"s eyes and quickly turned and began walking away.

"That was all just nonsense. Forget about it."

Almost as if Touko-chan had woken up from some dream. As if everything Touko-chan had said up till now had been some sort of mistake.

But there was no use in pretending that it was. There was no way Touko could un-say what she had just said.

Touko-chan began moving further away from Yumi.

What could Yumi do?

There was some way that Yumi could do something for Touko-chan. Touko-chan and the heavy heart she carried was moving further away.

How could Yumi bridge the gap?

How ...

"Touko-chan!"

Yumi shouted.

Touko-chan turned around.

Maria-sama seemed to have juxtaposed herself between the two, as they turned toward each other.

"Would you become my soeur?"

Those were the only words Yumi could think of.

"... What?"

Touko-chan finally responded, five seconds later.

"So, I"m not good enough, huh?"

Yumi shouted back in answer.

"Yumi-sama..."

Yumi walked up to the immobile figure of Touko-chan. Touko-chan just stood there and watched Yumi, wide-eyed.

Yumi suddenly remembered that she had her rosary, and so she removed it from her neck. It was the same dear rosary that had been given to her by Sachiko-sama one year and two months ago.

Touko-chan"s lips parted slightly.

"I thank you for your kind contribution. Yumi-sama, you are a very great friend."

"Huh?"

"How would you feel if I had responded that way?"

Yumi couldn"t move as she held the rosary"s circular figure out in her hands.

Touko-chan"s face was laughing. But the real Touko-chan wasn"t. Touko-chan wasn"t saying anything. The strong feelings of despair within Touko-chan were mixing together and to stop them from exploding out, she had created this cover of a smile.

The blood was draining from Touko-chan"s face. Her whole body had frozen.

"My deepest apologies Yumi-sama, but I"m not such a good school girl. If you want to perform some holy charity, please, practice it elsewhere."[7]

"Touko-cha..."

Charity? Yumi hadn"t meant for it to seem like charity at all. But Touko-chan didn"t want to listen to Yumi.

"I apologize if my indirect wording caused you consternation, Yumi-sama. At any rate, I can"t accept that rosary. Please, take it back."

Yumi said only what she had to.

"I"m sorry."

Touko-chan once again began walking. But this time, Yumi couldn"t follow her. She couldn"t call out to Touko-chan to stop.

Touko-chan plodded onward, moving farther from Yumi.

Touko-chan crossed the rows of Gingko Trees, crossed the school gate, and left the school premises altogether.

But Yumi couldn"t see all of that. It was dark outside, and Yumi couldn"t see Touko-chan.

Yumi shivered as she put the rejected rosary back onto her neck. Even though she had only taken it off for a short while, its warmth seemed to have fled completely.

Yumi would find it very hard to simply go back to the party and enjoy with the others as she had been. But there was no use standing alone outside like this.

She had come out without even wearing a coat. As the sun left, the day tended to get progressively colder. Now, it was so cold outside that Yumi was sure to catch a cold.

And she had left the Rose Mansion without saying a word. If she didn"t return for a long time, everyone would be worried about her.

Yumi turned toward the school buildings and began walking back.

Yumi didn"t consciously make the effort to walk, rather she just endlessly repeated a motion which placed one foot in front of the other. As Yumi aimlessly ambled on, she lost track of time.

"Yumi."

Sachiko-sama was standing in front of the door to the Rose Mansion.

"If I waited here, I thought maybe we could meet alone."

Sachiko-sama too had not brought her coat. Like Yumi, Sachiko-sama had simply brought a purse which dangled around her elbow.

"If you waited ...?"

Yumi answered. Just how long had Onee-sama waited for her? Had Sachiko-sama known that Yumi had gone out pursuing Touko-chan?

"Here."

"Ah."

Yumi quickly realized that what Sachiko-sama was taking out of her purse was her Christmas present to Yumi. Without opening the present, Yumi knew what it was. The gift-wrapped flat small box was the same present Sachiko-sama had given last year.

"It"s a handkerchief, right?"

"It wouldn"t have been a new present if it was the same. So this year, I thought I would add a personal touch."

Yumi removed the wrapping paper to try and open the present. She could see it from the outside, a white handkerchief.

It had been bordered by a gorgeous, embroidered lace. Just like last year. But where the "S" had been embroidered on before, above that a pink "Y" had been st.i.tched on. Rather than obscuring the "S", no matter where you looked at it from, they seemed to pair together. It almost seemed like some company logo.

And next to the letters was.

"It"s a rose ... a red rose."

Using a Bullion St.i.tch, Sachiko-sama had embroidered numerous red roses on the handkerchief. Each individual rose had been individually st.i.tched by her Onee-sama.

"Thank you so much."

Yumi squeezed the handkerchief. Yum had gotten such a special gift for her Christmas Present? Yumi felt so ... fortunate.

"Oh yeah, I also have something."

Yumi suddenly remembered about her present, and began searching her purse. She handed the gift-wrapped present that she pulled out from the middle of her bag. Sachiko-sama made some unintelligible noise like "Ara". Maybe she had been expecting a ribbon because Yumi had given one last year.

"It isn"t very good, but I tried as hard as I could. I know you read a lot of books, Onee-sama, so..."

It was a hand-knit woolen book bag. She had made it large so that it could even fit big, bulky hardcover books. Yumi had st.i.tched a crimson pattern on a base color which resembled the dark green of the tea used in formal tea ceremonies. It was something that one could st.i.tch in one shape, unlike something larger like a sweater. And bigger items had sleeves and collars to worry about, so the room for error was endless. And making one with two colors would have been very difficult.

"This is ... the red rose color, right? Haha, we thought about the same thing when making our presents!"

Sachiko-sama laughed.

"Thank you. You can use it through the winter, and in summer too."

"It would be a bit hot in the summer..."

What could you do, it was made with wool after all. Yumi laughed. But Sachiko-sama could pull it off. When Yumi imagined a Sachiko-sama panting and sweating while carrying around her dark, woolen book bag, Yumi became a bit happier. But for some reason, as Yumi was laughing, her eyesight became cloudy.

"What"s wrong?"

Sachiko-sama asked, even as she seemed to float in the middle of a watery mirror to Yumi.

"Onee-sama, I..."

It was a bit weird to suddenly start crying after one had been laughing. She had tried to steady herself as much as possible so she wouldn"t cry.

But Sachiko-sama didn"t seem to care a bit about the tears, and asked but one sensitive question that cut to the heart of the matter.

"Did something happen between you and Touko-chan?"

Yumi too cut out all the frills in her story, and cut to the chase.

"She ... rejected my rosary."

"I see."

Sachiko-sama simply nodded.

"Why? What did I do wrong? I didn"t mean to show any pity to her."

Yumi really believed that Touko-chan had wanted to be her soeur then.

Why had Yumi thought that? Just what had set her on about Touko-chan? She couldn"t really say. But there was no mistaking what she had felt.

To quote Shimako-san, it was ... "Just a something".

Just something had made Touko-chan feel like her soeur right then.

But there was no way Yumi could show someone that.

Yumi had no choice but to keep it to herself.

The feeling wasn"t anything but some selfish conclusion of Yumi"s.

Touko-chan had slowly disappeared from in front of Yumi.

Life never went the way you wanted it to. The burden Touko-chan represented only now began to color the feelings in Yumi"s heart.

"Touko-chan isn"t the only first-year out there."

Sachiko-sama squeezed Yumi"s shoulder.

"But."

"I know. If you were thinking of others, then you wouldn"t have handed her the rosary."

Exactly. If Yumi was willing to accept any old first-year as her soeur, oh how easy it could be. But now that she had realized that Touko-chan was the one, there was no going back.

There were probably dozens of girls much nicer than Touko-chan. Much brighter, happier girls. Much more calm girls. Much gentler girls. Much more interesting girls, and much purer girls.

But Touko-chan was the one.

Because every girl but Touko-chan had a list of great qualities that Touko-chan didn"t have.

"Then it"s okay to keep trying."

Sachiko-sama said.

"When Shimako-san had rejected my offer, I felt that there were others who could take her place."

"Huh?"

"But it was different when you had rejected me Yumi. I really felt that I wanted you to have my rosary."

Sachiko-sama gently stroked Yumi"s hair.

"I tried my best. And that"s why you"re here next to me now, right Yumi?"

"... Ah."

(I remember. "I *will* make you my soeur.", you had said.)

Sachiko had declared to Yumi after following her through the Gingko Trees. Yumi had just rejected Sachiko-sama. So this is what Sachiko-sama must have been feeling like, back then.

"Being rejected once doesn"t make a big difference."

"I see."

"Just puff out your chest. Being rejected shouldn"t be embarra.s.sing."

"I see."

Yumi answered, while she idly wondered why she could see water dropping from Sachiko-sama"s eyes.

"But, it is sad."

Sachiko-sama wiped her eyes off with her hand and said. "So Yumi shouldn"t give up hope."

"I see. Um, Onee-sama, is it okay if I cry a little now?"

"Sure."

Sachiko-sama opened her hands out wide, and tucked Yumi up against her chest.

"Waaaaah"

Yumi clung to her Onee-sama and cried out.

Was she feeling sad? Or did she feel hurt? Maybe she felt like she had lost something dear to her. Or maybe she was just mad. Or maybe she was annoyed. Yumi didn"t honestly know. She didn"t know. So Yumi cried and cried, letting out all of her mixed feelings.

The second floor of the Rose Mansion was still lit. But Yumi didn"t care who heard her. She didn"t have enough room left in her to care. Yumi just wanted to cry it all out.

Merry Christmas.

From somewhere far away a bell rang.

Santa Claus wasn"t bringing her a pet.i.te soeur this year, but she already had an Onee-sama who helped her deal with the sadness in her life. She had an Onee-sama whom she could cry with. And that was what slowed down Yumi"s tears.

Merry Christmas.

The outside air was cold.

Yumi felt on her cheeks something that couldn"t have been tears.

Snow.

Perhaps life never went the way you wanted it to. Or maybe it was just that life only sometimes went the way you wanted it to.[8]

Merry Christmas.

Even though it was the time to celebrate Jesus" birthday, Yumi"s tears would not stop.

Merry Christmas.

What should she do?

She"d have to use her Onee-sama"s gift so early.

(TL Sukoshi: I tried to preserve the a.n.a.logy from the j.a.panese.) (TL Sukoshi: An escalator application is a special application to enter a high school"s a.s.sociated University, if you attend the high school. It puts you in a preferred pool of applicants.) (TL Sukoshi: I love it how Yumi"s voice has become so much more adult, with the occasional cynical quip that adults have. Her narration voice has changed so much since the first books, it"s amazing.) (TL Sukoshi: I"m not sure why Sachiko says "everyone" here, Rei is the only other person in the room applying for college.) (TL Sukoshi: The above reflection makes a bit more sense in j.a.panese, where the reflection becomes existential upon the absurdity of the situation.) (TL Sukoshi: I think in the follow conversation, it"s very important to remember that everyone thinks of Yumi as the do-gooder idiot girl who is perhaps a bit slow. This was the old Yumi, but the new Yumi"s a lot more mature than that. Yumi knows when to play the role, and how to get answers out of people using it.) (TL Sukoshi: The above dialogue refers back to Touko"s introduction at the Christmas Party. The girl accepts charity, as a good girl. Here Touko repudiates such pious, good-natured charity.) (TL Sukoshi: The original phrase in j.a.panese for "Perhaps life never went the way you wanted it to" implies not just a personal life, but nature as a whole. So when it begins to snow on Christmas, it is implied that, because snow is in the natural order of things, life is going the way it should, at least for now.)

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