The first time I saw her was on the day of the first-year"s welcoming ceremony.
Although not at the welcoming ceremony itself. That morning, as she was standing by herself in a hallway on the first-floor of the school building, I gazed at her figure from some distance behind, and that was all.
She was looking out through an open window.
Her appearance was beautiful, like something out of a poem.
I had a premonition.
Meeting her would have a profound impact on my life.
I soon learned her name.
f.u.kuzawa Yumi. Rosa Chinensis en bouton. The pet.i.t soeur of Rosa Chinensis.
She stood beside Rosa Chinensis during the welcoming ceremony, a.s.sisting her onee-sama.
Even someone like myself, who only entered Lillian"s at the start of high-school, knew about the three Roses at the top of the Yamayurikai, Lillian"s high-school student council, and their pet.i.t soeurs, who were called boutons.
This knowledge was acquired naturally, from fragments of conversations I"d heard my fellow cla.s.smates engaged in - it wasn"t something I"d actively pursued.
- Cla.s.smates. In particular, Matsudaira Touko and her band of merry friends were always making a fuss.
They"d treated their self-introductions to the cla.s.s as a joke, called out shrilly whenever one of the Roses walked past our cla.s.sroom, got way too excited about cla.s.s seating positions and handled the physical examinations like some kind of circus event.
But it"s not like they were cutting themselves off from the students who"d come from other schools, by pa.s.sing Lillian"s entrance exam. It started with, "Why don"t we have lunch together?" but they"d also offer other a.s.sistance, such as, "I can help you if you"re having trouble memorizing the prayers," or, "Feel free to ask if there"s anything you don"t understand."
As someone with a rule of never buying from pushy salesmen, they quickly became accustomed to me declining their offers and moved on to easier targets. Thankfully, they also came to regard me as someone who was a bit strange, and so left me alone.
Through until the end of middle-school, I"d always attended co-ed public schools.
My father"s infidelity, and my parents subsequent divorce, still loomed large in my thoughts and I"d chosen an all-girls school thinking that I didn"t care where I went as long as there were no males present. I set my sights on Lillian"s because of its extremely high barrier to entry, so that my cla.s.smates from middle school couldn"t say, "She"s only going to a private school because she failed the public school entrance exams." I hated those girls who fawned over boys almost as much as I hated the boys themselves.
They"d refer to themselves by their first names rather than using "I," and they"d talk in a sweet voice. The way Matsudaira Touko spoke was close to this, and it always made me uncomfortable when she acted cute because it reminded me so much of my former cla.s.smates, half of whom were obsessed with boys. That"s why I was unable to get along with her, although I was only vaguely aware of it.
Before long, the rainy season had arrived.
One morning, quite by chance, I found myself seated next to f.u.kuzawa Yumi-sama for the bus ride to school. Since I was facing forwards as I lined up for the bus I hadn"t noticed her, but apparently she was two or three people behind me in line. Without thinking about it, I settled down on a two-seater towards the back of the bus. Not long after, Yumi-sama said, "Pardon me," and sat down beside me.
"Gokigenyou, Rosa Chinensis en bouton."
"Gokigenyou. The weather"s not letting up, is it?"
She was probably used to strangers approaching her. Yumi-sama returned my greeting amiably. She then looked out the window and let out a small sigh, perhaps depressed by the cloudy skies.
"You dislike the rain?"
"I wouldn"t go that far."
Yumi said, then smiled and continued with:
"But the way the moisture ruins my hair is a bit annoying."
Even though she was Rosa Chinensis en bouton. I suppose her una.s.suming manner was probably the secret behind her popularity.
When we stood up to get off the bus, Yumi-sama took one look at me and hurriedly asked, "Are you, by chance, a senior?" She obviously thought I was older than her based on my height, which she probably hadn"t noticed when we"d been sitting down.
"No, I"m a first-year."
I smiled. I usually didn"t like being singled out because of my height, but I didn"t mind at all that time.
A few days later, I witnessed a strange scene.
It was on the path leading to Milk Hall. Matsudaira Touko and Yumi-sama were arguing. Well, that"s not quite accurate. If I had to say, it felt more like Matsudaira Touko was haranguing Yumi-sama about something.
I don"t know what they were talking about. It seemed like something had rubbed Matsudaira Touko the wrong way. But still Yumi-sama wouldn"t say anything. She just stood there, looking straight at Matsudaira Touko and waiting for a break in the diatribe. When it came, Yumi-sama merely said, "You have no right to say something like that."
She was beautiful.
Her faintly quivering lips. Her eyes, filled with strength. For someone whose upbringing was seemingly free of interpersonal conflict, the way she stood her ground without flinching looked innocent and divine. She had the solemn beauty of someone using their body to shield something important.
Just as I was starting to detest Matsudaira Touko for cornering Yumi-sama, I also felt a funny sort of pity for her too.
I"d come to a realization.
In some ways, Matsudaira Touko and I were very similar. We both struggled with the dark shadow that we held in our hearts, unable to either accept it or drive it away.
The shadow sought the light. And the shadow inside Touko had keenly sensed it too. But even though the light was right there she hurled insults and pushed herself further away from it, rather than reaching out for it.
I would never do something so foolish. If you yearn for the light, you have to be ready to emit it.
The rainy season ended and Yumi-sama was shining ever more radiantly. There were those who said it was because Rosa Chinensis had returned from her short absence, but I chose to believe it was because the weather was no longer ruining her hair.
Yumi-sama wasn"t the kind of person who stopped glowing because someone else wasn"t there. Yumi-sama was the sun. And when her light shined on us, it made us shine too, like the moon.
I spotted Yumi-sama in the library, standing on tiptoes trying to reach a book on the top shelf.
"Let me get that for you."
I easily picked the book out and handed it to her. It was at times like these that my usually annoying height was a great a.s.set.
"Thank-you very much. Regrettably all the step-ladders were in use, so you were a great help."
Yumi-sama said, looking up at me.
"You don"t have to be so formal, I"m only a first-year."
I forced a smile.
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah."
Yumi-sama hadn"t remembered me from our brief encounter on the bus.
A tall person with long hair. With those conspicuous features, for better or worse, I should have been easy to remember. Yet I"d completely slipped from Yumi-sama"s memory. For some reason, that felt incredibly rea.s.suring.
"There may be other books that you can"t reach."
"Well then, could you accompany me for now?"
"Of course."
Another couple of encounters with her and she would probably recognize me as a first-year.
She would probably even remember my name, some day.
I would continue to wait patiently.
That was fine.
Even the statue of Maria-sama probably still couldn"t remember the names and faces of all the students at this school.