9. A rose colored life
It truly was a coincidence when I heard that conversation.
A lot of time had pa.s.sed since the engagement with Marielle, and after properly ascertaining our feelings, we pa.s.sed each day with an entirely good mood; including all the way up to the point that the preparation for the marriage was steadily proceeding, and even the day of the ceremony was already decided. When those shining eyes of my fiance that I yearn for turned towards me, I didn"t feel any dissatisfaction. That radiance, occasionally has heat that crosses over understandings secluded in themselves. I love everything about her, including her eccentric tastes and her way of thinking. Though I often feel like I can"t keep up with her, I have no complaints. No, well, there are times I would like her to wait for me but…..I"d had things to say about how she has more delusions about the me in her head than the me that is in front of her though…you might as well say that I do have a little complaint. But such a problem didn"t diminish my love for her one bit.
I believed that Marielle also loved me. She must have properly looked and thought about myself in real life, and not only about her wild delusions. Even though she knows that I"m neither diabolical nor black bellied (absolutely!), it"s not like she got discouraged. She said that it was okay and accepted me as I am.
――or so, I believed.
"You can"t be sincere! You are not able to love only Alan right!?"
I heard that.
By chance I pa.s.sed in front of a small salon and got startled by the voice I heard from the partially open door. My feet unconsciously stopped, and my eyes turned to look at the people in the room from the gap of the door. Within several young girls, who had gathered inside, I found my fiancé.
"That makes me feel bad for Alan! Don"t you think he is pitiful!?"
The person that was being criticised was none other than Marielle.
What on earth are they talking about? Speaking of which, my aide is called Alan. First lieutenant Alan Listnar, whom is right next to me now.
Fl.u.s.tered the lieutenant shook his head when receiving my gaze.
"I-I kn-know nothing!? I didn"t-"
I gestured to the lieutenant that was trying to give me an explanation to be silent, because I couldn"t hear what they were saying inside.
Restoring my eyes to the girls inside, Marielle was about to object.
"Why would he be pitiful? I cannot understand that way of thinking. Of course I really like Alan. But that"s about the same for Hughes."
――now it"s His Highness name that came out!? Sevran Hughes de Lagrange. Needless to say that"s our country"s crown prince. Why did Marielle say His Highness middle name so intimately, moreover without an honorific. Since when did they have such a relationship.
This time too, His Highness pa.s.sed by here by chance. Noticing me clinging to the door, he stopped his feet without saying anything.
"What are you----"
While I knew it was rude, I forcibly silenced His Highness, who had raised his voice. At first he opposed resistance when I pinned my hand on his mouth, but then, noticing the voices inside he become quiet. Understanding my intention, he made no more sounds. I quietly released his Highness from my hand.
"What in the world happened?"
I can"t hear what they are saying, he whispered in a low voice. And in the same way I said.
"Your Highness, since when did you become friends with Marielle?"
"Ha?"
I asked and he raised his dignified brow.
"Friends you say…well, since it"s your fiancé, I would a.s.sociate with her of course but…"
"Letting her call you by your middle name… don"t tell me, you thought of making Marielle your princess?"
"The h.e.l.l are you talking about!?"
His Highness raised his voice, but it looked like they didn"t notice because another voice exceeded his.
"The one that cannot understand you is me! How dare you boldly declare that you"re two timing. I would like you to not talk about loving Alan with such feelings!"
"TWO TIMING!?"
His Highness and the chamberlain behind him too, tried to hold themselves back, and looked in astonishment at the first lieutenant simultaneously. Being at the centre of attention of everyone, the first lieutenant shook his head once again.
"I"ve said that I know nothing already!"
"No but right now――is it another Alan? In my secretary room there"s an Alan too…"
His Highness and the chamberlains exchanged glances. I naturally know the person in question but, he is forty years old with a wife and children.
"I can"t think of him as someone Marielle would target. The only Alan that Marielle may know should only be the first lieutenant I think."
"I said that I know nothing-. It"s a name that is quite common, aren"t there a lot of Alans"?"
"There is no one by the name of Alan within her family servants and publisher company. There is only the first lieutenant who is an Alan in Marielle"s surroundings…..."
"No wait, wait Simon. More than that, isn"t there a problem more important?"
When His Highness stopped me, the voices of the young girls raised again.
"In the end you don"t really love Alan and Hughes! You"re just playing with them! I would like you to not talk about them with such dishonest feelings. You don"t have the qualifications to do that. Don"t defile Alan!"
We silently exchanged looks. His Highness face become more and more complex.
"...anyone that happens to know a Hughes person?"
"Right in front of me."
"No, beside me."
"Your Highness, answer me honestly. Are you and Marielle really..."
"I"ve told you that I know nothing about it!"
"Ehm", said someone to come between us. A chamberlain, with a pitiful look, said, "Rather than this…I think that the name of the vice captain Floubert hasn"t come out, as Miss Marielle"s partner…
"That"s right! I wanted to say that too! That"s the biggest problem, right?"
Said His Highness with great impetus. And I couldn"t retort.
That"s right----- since earlier my name hasn"t come out in the conversation. Because I"m the man that has a relationship with Marielle, my name should have come out already right. In reality it"s not two timing but three timing. Even so, why is my existence being ignored?
My head received a shock as if hit by something. It was as if a hole opened under my feet and was swallowing me.
Weren"t we engaged while being in mutual love? We did the preparation for the marriage, and we should have both agreed to wait till spring for it.
Was it only me that thought so? Does Marielle have a relationship with another man? Was she an extravagant woman that could talk about love with several people and not the plain and without the presence of a person, who adapted to the scenery? That is…
――impossible I think.
About to lose myself, I shook my head to organize my thoughts. What am I feeling disturbed about? I"m pathetic. Marielle is certainly greatly different from what her appearance suggested, she is a girl that betrays your expectations by far, but she isn"t a person who would betray in that sense. She faces anything directly no matter what, and maliciousness and unfairness are indifferent to her. Even in the case another man made her heart sway, she wouldn"t hide the infidelity to me.
She isn"t that type of woman.
Something is strange. I peeked inside the room again.
Sitting with Marielle was her friend Miss Julienne and several other people. Looking better I noticed there were no high ranking aristocratic young misses. It seemed like only young misses about the same family status were gathered.
The imperial court would open several rooms for social intercourse, and this is one of these. The sight of fellow young girls in and of itself isn"t unusual. It"s just, the fact that Marielle is also present is rather odd. Moreover she is in a dispute――just when I thought that, I noticed that in the hands of each girl laid a book.
Don"t tell me…...
"Rebeccsama, may you calm down a bit."
Facing the antagonistic young lady, Marielle said back in a calm voice. Not with her usual optimism and cheerfulness but it wasn"t even with anger and panic. She quietly admonished the opposing party.
"I don"t have the desire to deny Rebeccsama"s sense of values in the least. I think it"s n.o.ble to consider only one person as important. However, you arbitrarily decided that liking various people is insincere right? That"s not betrayal. Each person has his way of living and precious thoughts, and I"m simply admiring their wonderfulness. I"m just happy by loving them as their brilliance pull my heart to them."
"Stop it, don"t disgrace him more than you already have."
"It"s only Rebeccsama"s own persistent opinion that thinks that I"m distracting him. I never had such intentions."
"Fabricating falsehood with your twisted character at your own convenience, and while saying that it isn"t distracting Alan"s image, I won"t forgive such a way of thinking. And lastly, talking about him while lining him with another man, just until when will you be satisfied in insulting him!?"
As I was straining my ears listening to the dispute filled with tension, my shoulder was struck. His Highness made a face as if he wanted to say something. I shook my head and conveyed to be silent for a bit more with a gesture.
Marielle sighed as if a bit troubled. Miss Julienne that was next to her knitted her brows in a more frank way. The other young ladies showed disturbance in the dispute of these two.
"...what would Rebeccsama think if someone else were to say the same thing to you? When you were just purely enjoying yourself, someone told you that you are fabricating falsehood, insulting, being insincere and speaking ill of someone?"
"Don"t switch the talk. In reality you were insulting Alan. And I was simply pointing that out."
"And I"ve already said that it"s Rebeccsama"s own impression."
"Ah mou, you are someone that words won"t get through to! Acting like a victim as you can"t accept a proper criticism and can"t hear either, do you think I wanted to say such a horrible thing too? The victim here is me. When you were talking at your own convenience, I had unpleasant feelings, you know. Having your important person polluted like that is really painful. Don"t come here ever again! Because you don"t have the qualifications to talk about Alan, so don"t ever utter a single word. If you have even a bit of conscience then, obediently disappear from this room."
It seem like the conversation was at its breakdown. Marielle sighed more deeply than earlier and then stood up. Miss Julienne followed and stood up. The two of them greeted the other ladies and walked facing this way.
His Highness that was watching with me pulled his body back in a fl.u.s.ter. I backed away from the door by several steps too. Even when I didn"t give any instructions, Alan and the chamberlains clung to the wall. In a scene that if seen from afar would only have looked bizarre, Marielle exited the door.
"...what are you doing?"
Noticing the men that clung to the wall, Marielle"s eyes rounded. Miss Julienne raised a small shriek and hid behind Marielle.
"Well, sorry, were disputing on who was going through first."
"Even His Highness…"
Receiving Marielle"s look, His Highness cleared his throat.
"No well, I"m here because Simon----more importantly, what were you disputing so much about?"
Because the door was opened wide, we could clearly see inside. And the people inside could see us too. Miss Rebecca and the other young misses were surprised.
Marielle closed the door blocking the view from the opposite side.
"Nothing of importance really. Just a reading gathering for the people that like a book, and we had a few differences in interpretation."
"Does the girl from earlier has some relation to Alan?"
Hearing His Highness, the first lieutenant desperately shook his head.
"I"ve said this so many times already, but I know nothing."
"But weren"t they talking about you with a lot of enthusiasm? You sure are popular to a level that p.i.s.ses people off, huh."
"I said that I don"t know--"
Marielle that looked at these two exchange with a tilted head, went "aah" and hit her hand.
"Oh no, that"s not it. That wasn"t about Alan-sama, but about this Alan here."
Then, she showed the book in her hands. Except for me that more or less guessed it, everyone blinked their eyes.
"That Alan? Unh? What do you mean?"
"This story"s hero is called Alan too. What Rebeccsama was talking about was this Alan."
Everyone suddenly breathed out in relief at the truth that was finally revealed. With a lifeless face, the first lieutenant dropped his shoulders.
"So it was about a novel! And did you need to quarrel with such seriousness!"
"Aah…that"s right, there"s no way I would be so popular ha…hahaha…"
Don"t cry. I will buy you some sake later okay.
"You"re popular, you know. Alan-sama is really cool as a gallant imperial knight. It"s just that the Alan here is a bit special because he is a hero that boasts superman-like strength and peerless beauty."
"Good looks and superman…...isn"t that the vice captain."
"Well, the conditions are similar, but I think it"s different."
"Then the Hughes you were talking about……"
"That"s this."
When Marielle looked over her shoulder, Miss Julienne showed the book in her hand. Receiving His Highness gaze, miss Julienne hid her face behind the book.
"Rebeccsama was pa.s.sionately overwhelmed by Alan so her emotional attachment was so strong that she couldn"t accept other people"s interpretations. And wouldn"t allow people to like other main character simultaneously."
"Is that the reason she said that you were insincere and a betrayer?"
Everyone breathed out again, and I wanted to sigh as well. This truly was a false alarm. It was an exchange that made people think you were two-timing you know.
Finally understanding the situation, His Highness held his head as if it were in pain.
"I wanted her to understand that each person has different thoughts, and that neither is wrong but it seemed like it didn"t go well. Though, it cannot be helped. Alan is like her lover for the current Rebeccsama. Being overwhelmed by several others at the same time is only betrayal to her lover, and the ones that have different thoughts should be denied her lover. In the first place she didn"t like others talking about Alan. That"s what you call "dotan kyohi"" (Tn: I couldn"t find a translation for this slang. The meaning is "It"s when you exclude people in your same group" Like when you like a singer, and you"re excluded from that singer fan club.)
"Saying or whatever, that"s the first time I"ve heard it. It"s fine that it"s a man from a novel. However, it"s so stupid to be so worked up when it"s not even a real man."
Offended, Marielle puffed out her cheeks toward His Highness who couldn"t bear to not respond.
That"s a horrible way to put it. You cannot understand the sparkling feeling you enjoy while having your heart throb because of a wonderful character?"
"It"s okay to enjoy it, however it"s unproductive, feeling love towards it. No matter how wonderful of a character, you cannot hold hands or marry him. It will only be a pa.s.sing thing. Wouldn"t it be painful if your feelings were to get stronger?"
"There were people that could marry you know. Arranging rings and tableware the as two people"s lives together, though in a delusion."
"Isn"t that just a delusion!"
"I know a person that made an altar for the funeral of the person who overwhelmed them that died."
"The delusion went that far!"
"At the commemoration day of the pa.s.sed person I was informed about various things like, how they reconciled after quarreling, how many children they had and how they were."
"How far did the delusion go!? That"s terrific!?"
It seemed like in high society there are unexpectedly a lot of people of the same kind as Marielle. Miss Rebecca"s strong emotional attachment too, I don"t know anymore if it"s an unusual thing.
When you have different thoughts you"ll be excluded (Tn: "it say "Dotan kyohi" again, but I put excluded). I ended up learning a new unique term again. Since I"ve began to go out with Marielle, my head has been gradually filled with strange knowledge. Making me occasionally lose track of my direction.
Well, you might say that it"s the pleasure of life. She showed me a world I didn"t know. I have a lot of queens like when I wanted to hold my head in exasperation or when I couldn"t retort to her, but I know that my world has spread. That"s probably not a bad thing, right.
"By the way, what is 『Alan』to you?"
I asked what was bugging me on another day when we were alone. Marielle should have some emotional attachment toward "Alan" too, since she confronted another person for him. Whilst I knew that he wasn"t a real person, I somehow couldn"t find it amusing.
"Huh? He is a hero. A really fantastic one."
Marielle"s answer was clear. An immediate reply without even a bit of mulling.
"Alan and Hughes are cool about the same and they make me go all the more the same. That made Rebeccsama angry and say that I was insincere but, I guess our point of view differed from the beginning… Rebeccsama felt moe of love toward Alan-sama, however I felt more toward the love Alan had for the heroine. Insincerity or whatever, Alan"s partner isn"t me. Placing oneself in another shoe is a totally different thing, isn"t it?"
I felt my strength draining again as Marielle laughed without worries. However this time it wasn"t for a bad feeling. I think that I am really an idiot for feeling relieved about such a thing, but I am happy that I didn"t need to be jealous of a man inside a novel.
"A heroine you say…..speaking of which, since it"s a romance novel there would be one."
"Yes, there"s one. A truly lovely heroine."
While chuckling Marielle"s body drew near me. Sat near me on the point we could touch each other, she dawned on me. She noticed I was jealous, and while a bit embarra.s.sed, I felt good with more pleasant feelings. I"m always thrown around by her like this. And because I end up enjoying it too, I would be defeated in general.
"I go moe on various stories and characters, but my number one is Simon-sama."
While shocked at how delighted I was with that single phrase, the world sparkled in a rose-colored way today too.