"No, my lord; no; it must not be." But now he had both her hands in his, and was looking into her face. Now was the time to speak of duty,--and to speak with some strength, if what she might say was to have any avail.
"It shall not be so, my lord." Then she did regain her hands, and struggled up from the sofa on to her feet. "I, too, believe in your honesty. I am sure of it, as I am of my own. But you do not understand me. Think of me as though I were your sister."
"As my sister?"
"What would you have your sister do if a man came to her then, whom she knew that she could never marry? Would you have her submit to his embrace because she knew him to be honest?"
"Not unless she loved him."
"It would have nothing to do with it, Lord Hampstead."
"Nothing, Marion!"
"Nothing, my lord. You will think that I am giving myself airs if I speak of my duty."
"Your father has allowed me to come."
"I owe him duty, no doubt. Had he bade me never to see you, I hope that that would have sufficed. But there are other duties than that,--a duty even higher than that."
"What duty, Marion?"
"That which I owe to you. If I had promised to be your wife--"
"Do promise it."
"Had I so promised, should I not then have been bound to think first of your happiness?"
"You would have accomplished it, at any rate."
"Though I cannot be your wife I do not owe it you the less to think of it,--seeing all that you are willing to do for me,--and I will think of it. I am grateful to you."
"Do you love me?"
"Let me speak, Lord Hampstead. It is not civil in you to interrupt me in that way. I am thoroughly grateful, and I will not show my grat.i.tude by doing that which I know would ruin you."
"Do you love me?"
"Not if I loved you with all my heart,--" and she spread out her arms as though to a.s.sure herself how she did love him with all her very soul,--"would I for that be brought even to think of doing the thing that you ask me."
"Marion!"
"No,--no. We are utterly unfit for each other." She had made her first declaration as to duty, and now she was going on as to that second profession which she intended should be, if possible, the last. "You are as high as blood and wealth and great friends can make you. I am nothing. You have called me a lady."
"If G.o.d ever made one, you are she."
"He has made me better. He has made me a woman. But others would not call me a lady. I cannot talk as they do, sit as they do, act as they do,--even think as they do. I know myself, and I will not presume to make myself the wife of such a man as you." As she said this there came a flush across her face, and a fire in her eye, and, as though conquered by her own emotion, she sank again upon the sofa.
"Do you love me, Marion?"
"I do," she said, standing once more erect upon her feet. "There shall be no shadow of a lie between us. I do love you, Lord Hampstead. I will have nothing to make me blush in my own esteem when I think of you. How should it be other than that a girl such as I should love such a one as you when you ask me with words so sweet!"
"Then, Marion, you shall be my own."
"Oh, yes, I must now be yours,--while I am alive. You have so far conquered me." As he attempted to take her in his arms she retreated from him; but so gently that her very gentleness repressed him. "If never loving another is to be yours,--if to pray for you night and day as the dearest one of all, is to be yours,--if to remind myself every hour that all my thoughts are due to you, if to think of you so that I may console myself with knowing that one so high and so good has condescended to regard me,--if that is to be yours,--then I am yours; then shall I surely be yours while I live. But it must be only with my thoughts, only with my prayers, only with all my heart."
"Marion, Marion!" Now again he was on his knees before her, but hardly touching her.
"It is your fault, Lord Hampstead," she said, trying to smile. "All this is your doing, because you would not let a poor girl say simply what she had to say."
"Nothing of it shall be true,--except that you love me. That is all that I can remember. That I will repeat to you daily till you have put your hand in mine, and call yourself my wife."
"That I will never do," she exclaimed, once again standing. "As G.o.d hears me now I will never say it. It would be wrong,--and I will never say it." In thus protesting she put forth her little hands clenched fast, and then came again the flush across her brow, and her eyes for a moment seemed to wander, and then, failing in strength to carry her through it all, she fell back senseless on the sofa.
Lord Hampstead, finding that he alone could do nothing to aid her, was forced to ring the bell, and to give her over to the care of the woman, who did not cease to pray him to depart. "I can"t do nothing, my lord, while you stand over her that way."
CHAPTER XVII.
AT GORSE HALL.
Hampstead, when he was turned out into Paradise Row, walked once or twice up the street, thinking what he might best do next, regardless of the eyes at No. 10 and No. 15;--knowing that No. 11 was absent, where alone he could have found a.s.sistance had the inhabitant been there. As far as he could remember he had never seen a woman faint before. The way in which she had fallen through from his arms on to the sofa when he had tried to sustain her, had been dreadful to him; and almost more dreadful the idea that the stout old woman with whom he had left her should be more powerful than he to help her.
He walked once or twice up and down, thinking what he had best now do, while Clara Demijohn was lost in wonder as to what could have happened at No. 17. It was quite intelligible to her that the lover should come in the father"s absence and be entertained,--for a whole afternoon if it might be so; though she was scandalized by the audacity of the girl who had required no screen of darkness under the protection of which her lover"s presence might be hidden from the inquiries of neighbours. All that, however, would have been intelligible. There is so much honour in having a lord to court one that perhaps it is well to have him seen. But why was the lord walking up and down the street with that demented air?
It was now four o"clock, and Hampstead had heard the Quaker say that he never left his office till five. It would take him nearly an hour to come down in an omnibus from the City. Nevertheless Hampstead could not go till he had spoken to Marion"s father. There was the "d.u.c.h.ess of Edinburgh," and he could no doubt find shelter there.
But to get through two hours at the "d.u.c.h.ess of Edinburgh" would, he thought, be beyond his powers. To consume the time with walking might be better. He started off, therefore, and tramped along the road till he came nearly to Finchley, and then back again. It was dark as he returned, and he fancied that he could wait about without being perceived. "There he is again," said Clara, who had in the mean time gone over to Mrs. Duffer. "What can it all mean?"
"It"s my belief he"s quarrelled with her," said Mrs. Duffer.
"Then he"d never wander about the place in that way. There"s old Zachary just come round the corner. Now we shall see what he does."
"Fainted, has she?" said Zachary, as they walked together up to the house. "I never knew my girl do that before. Some of them can faint just as they please; but that"s not the way with Marion." Hampstead protested that there had been no affectation on this occasion; that Marion had been so ill as to frighten him, and that, though he had gone out of the house at the woman"s bidding, he had found it impossible to leave the neighbourhood till he should have learnt something as to her condition. "Thou shalt hear all I can tell thee, my friend," said the Quaker, as they entered the house together.
Hampstead was shown into the little parlour, while the Quaker went up to inquire after the state of his daughter. "No; thou canst not well see her," said he, returning, "as she has taken herself to her bed.
That she should have been excited by what pa.s.sed between you is no more than natural. I cannot tell thee now when thou mayst come again; but I will write thee word from my office to-morrow." Upon this Lord Hampstead would have promised to call himself at King"s Court on the next day, had not the Quaker declared himself in favour of writing rather than of speaking. The post, he said, was very punctual; and on the next evening his lordship would certainly receive tidings as to Marion.
"Of course I cannot say what we can do about Gorse Hall till I hear from Mr. Fay," said Hampstead to his sister when he reached home.
"Everything must depend on Marion Fay." That his sister should have packed all her things in vain seemed to him to be nothing while Marion"s health was in question; but when the Quaker"s letter arrived the matter was at once settled. They would start for Gorse Hall on the following day, the Quaker"s letter having been as follows;--
MY LORD,--
I trust I may be justified in telling thee that there is not much to ail my girl. She was up to-day, and about the house before I left her, and a.s.sured me with many protestations that I need not take any special steps for her comfort or recovery. Nor indeed could I see in her face anything which could cause me to do so. Of course I mentioned thy name to her, and it was natural that the colour should come and go over her cheeks as I did so. I think she partly told me what had pa.s.sed between you two, but only in part. As to the future, when I spoke of it, she told me that there was no need of any arrangement, as everything had been said that needed speech. But I guess that such is not thy reading of the matter; and that after what has pa.s.sed between thee and me I am bound to offer to thee an opportunity of seeing her again shouldst thou wish to do so. But this must not be at once. It will certainly be better for her and, may be, for thee also that she should rest awhile before she be again asked to see thee.
I would suggest, therefore, that thou shouldst leave her to her own thoughts for some weeks to come. If thou will"st write to me and name a day some time early in March I will endeavour to bring her round so far as to see thee when thou comest.
I am, my lord, Thy very faithful friend,