CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
Mr Johnson leaned back in his seat, when, slowly stooping down for his tumbler, he brought it deliberately to his mouth, and took a prolonged sip. Then shaking his head, he observed, "Politics are awful things to meddle with--the very thought of what I endured, turns my throat into a dust-hole." Again he sipped, and again he shook his head. "Young gentlemen," he said solemnly, "if ever any of you rise to the top of the profession, and I hope you may--and should his Majesty, King George, send for you, and offer to make you a Prime Minister, take an old man"s advice, and respectfully decline the honour. Say that standing at the helm of one of his ships, and fighting her as long as there is a shot in the locker, is one thing, and standing at the helm of State, and being badgered by friends and foes alike, is another. You may quote me as an authority. Well, I was telling you how I managed when I was Prime Minister to King Rumfiz, and of the trouble caused me by certain personages in the island of Blarney Botherum.
"I was not long in discovering the tricks of these medicine men, and of their friends who lived on a trade they called patriotism, but the difficulty was to catch them. I at last, however, found a few tripping, and having hung them up, the rest were very soon brought into a state of implicit obedience to my commands.
"As soon as I had restored peace to the country, I thought that it would be advisable to reform the const.i.tution. I had some slight difficulty in comprehending its principles, especially as I only as yet imperfectly understood the language. My notions were, however, so opposed by the sages of the country, and so great was the commotion created, that it was with no slight satisfaction I saw the Lady Stiggins approaching the island under full sail, as I was one morning sitting on the beach cutting ducks and drakes with oyster sh.e.l.ls over the calm blue water of the bay.
"I have a good strong voice of my own even now, but then I could make myself heard three or four miles off at least, and sometimes, when I was in tone, much farther. The only other man I ever met at all equal to me was a Frenchman, the master of a privateer; and we once carried on a conversation together, he sitting on the sh.o.r.es of Calais, I on the cliffs of Dover. Well, I stood up, and hailing the Lady Stiggins, waved my hat over my head. My former shipmates heard me, though for a long time they could not tell where the voice came from. Another old friend, however, was more quick of hearing, and sight too. I saw a commotion in the water, as if an arrow was pa.s.sing through it, so fast did it draw near. Presently a black fin appeared, and then there was a tremendous rush, and then who should pop his head out of the water till he ran himself almost high and dry on the beach, but my pet shark? In his delight at seeing me he almost got hold of my leg, which, in a fit of joyful forgetfulness, I believe he would have bitten off, had I not jumped out of the way.
"Well, as I was saying, the shark did not bite off my leg; the delay would, at all events, have been inconvenient had he done so. I stroked his cheeks, and he looked up most lovingly into my face with his piercing eyes, and then, after he had floundered back into the water, I got on his back and away we went out to sea towards my ship. My companions were delighted to see me; the wonder was how they got on without me. When we dropped our anchor, King Rumfiz and Queen Pillow, with my wife the Princess Chickchick, came off in a canoe to the ship, and very much surprised they were to see me on board, not knowing that my pet shark was in company. My little wife, indeed, thought I was a ghost, and in her fright jumped overboard, when she was as near as possible sharing the fate of poor Oilyblubbina, and would have done so had I not leaped after her and saved her. Not to disappoint my pet, we gave him afterwards half a dozen fat hogs, which he infinitely preferred. The captain was so generous with his liquor, that he sent my royal father and mother-in-law on sh.o.r.e roaring drunk. They were so happy that they insisted on having a ball at the palace, for which purpose I issued a decree summoning all the princ.i.p.al people of the island; and a jolly night we had of it too, the old king toeing-it and heeling-it away right merrily in the centre of a circle of his admiring subjects. Everything must have an end, so had my residence in the island. As I had begun to get rather tired of the monotony of my life on sh.o.r.e, I determined to make a voyage for the benefit of my health."
"Did you take your wife with you?" asked Gogles, who had swallowed every word uttered by the boatswain.
"My wife? Oh no; I left her on sh.o.r.e for the benefit of hers. Poor thing, she cried very much when I went away; it was the last time I saw her."
"How was that, Mr Johnson?" enquired Grey, "you seem to have been unfortunate with your wives."
"Yes, indeed, I was," replied the unhappy widower; "I have had ten of them, too. When I came back, I found that the island had been attacked by the savages, who had carried off my wife and eaten her. It"s a fact.
If they had had a reform, and kept me and my gun among them, it wouldn"t have happened--of that I"m certain. Having taken in a supply of wood, water, and provisions, the Lady Stiggins once more made sail for the southward."
"I wonder you survived all your misfortunes, Mr Johnson," observed Spellman, who, next to Gogles and Toby Bluff, seemed to place the most perfect belief in the boatswain"s veracious narratives, as he was pleased to designate his amusing inventions.
"Why, do you see, Mr Spellman, I"m tough--very tough!" he answered, with a hoa.r.s.e laugh. "I doubt if even the head cook of the monarch of the cannibal islands--King Hoki Poki--could ever make me tender. So you see I"ve held out through them all; and there"s one thing I may say, trying as they may have been, they have never taken away my appet.i.te.
Now, young gentlemen, you"ve had a good long yarn, and my throat feels like a dust-hole with talking, so I must knock off."
"But you"ll tell us the end of your adventures some day, Mr Johnson; won"t you now?" said Gogles, imploringly.
"I"ll continue them, perhaps, young gentleman," answered the boatswain, laughing. "But let me tell you it will take a mighty long time before I ever get to the end of them. They"re inexhaustible--something like the mint, young gentlemen, where the King has his guineas struck which he pays to us seamen for fighting for him. We should be in a bad way if his shiners were to come to an end; and one thing I may promise you, as long as I"ve got a brain to think and a tongue to wag, I shall be able to continue my wonderful and veracious history."
Gogles and Spellman, and even Grey, looked puzzled. I had long suspected that the origin of Mr Johnson"s history was derived from a source considerably removed from fact; and from the peculiar way in which he screwed up his mouth, and the merry twinkle of his one eye--for the other he shut with the comic twist of his nose--I now had not the slightest doubt of the matter. I cannot say that his narratives were exactly instructive, but they were at all events highly amusing to us youngsters. The watch being just then called, an interruption was put to his narrative. Toby Bluff, and some of the other boys, who had been listening outside, were scuttling along the deck, spluttering out their laughter, while the young gentlemen whose watch it was hurried on deck, and the rest retired to the berth. We left Mr Johnson chuckling complacently at his own conceits.
I went to the berth, now magnificently lighted by two purser"s dips, which stood on the table, dropping fatness, in company with a bread-barge of biscuit, some tumblers, earthenware and tin mugs, a bottle of rum and a can of water, and surrounded by most of the members of the mess not on duty. Gogles followed me, and took his seat. The can of water and the biscuit was shoved over to him. He eyed the black bottle wistfully.
"No, no; that isn"t good stuff for babies," said Perigal, shaking his head; "if we had some milk you should have it, Gogles."
"I wish we had; why don"t we keep some cows on board?" whispered Gogles.
"What would you feed them on?" asked Grey.
"Gra.s.s and hay, when we could get them, of course," answered Gogles, sagaciously.
"Not at all," remarked Bobus. "Carpenters" shavings are the things. On board a ship to which I belonged, we had two goats and a cow to feed our captain"s baby, and whenever we ran short of hay or gra.s.s, what do you think the captain did? Cut their throats and eat them? No, not he.
Why, he was a very ingenious man, and so he had some pairs of green spectacles made, which he used to clap over their eyes, and then when the shavings were chopped up fine, they used to eat them greedily, believing they were gra.s.s. He first gave them all the old straw hats he could collect, but that was an expensive way of feeding them."
"I should think so, Bobus," observed McAllister, who did not like joking himself, and had an especial antipathy to Bobus"s jokes or stories, or to Bobus himself. "May I ask what ship that was in?"
"What ship? why, the old Thunderer, to the best of my recollection,"
answered Bobus, seriously.
"Everything wonderful happened on board the old Thunderer," observed McAllister. "Bobus having been left drunk on sh.o.r.e, is the only survivor of her crew, and there is no one to contradict him."
"I wasn"t drunk; I was sick, and you know that perfectly well,"
exclaimed Bobus, getting angry. "I won"t have my veracity called in question. I"ve the feelings of a gentleman, and my honour to support, as well as others."
"But you shouldn"t support it by telling crammers," said McAllister, who took a pleasure in irritating poor Bobus.
"Order!" cried Perigal, who was always a peacemaker. "Come, Mac, let Bobus spin his yarns, and do you spin yours; and now just go on with that story about the Highlands which you had begun the other evening, when the squall struck the ship."
McAllister was soon in the midst of some wonderful Highland legend, while attempting to listen to which I fell fast asleep.
We were once more at anchor in Port Royal harbour. Several other ships of war were there. On one occasion I had the honour of dining with Captain Collyer, when two or three captains and several lieutenants and midshipmen were present. Among the captains was rather a fine-looking man, a Captain Staghorn, commanding the Daring frigate. He was an Irishman, and though I thought our boatswain could beat any man at pulling the longbow, I must say Captain Staghorn equalled him. He poured forth the most astounding stories with wonderful rapidity and self-a.s.surance. I observed that all the other officers bowed politely at the end of each, no one questioning any of his statements. Even Captain Collyer let him run on without differing from him in the slightest degree. I took a dislike to him from the first from his overbearing manner at times. Still he was certainly amusing, and everybody present laughed very much at his jokes. He talked incessantly, and did not scruple to interrupt anybody speaking. Among his stories was an account he gave of his own prowess, when a lieutenant in command of a schooner. He was sent in search of a piratical craft.
He came up with her, and running alongside, sprang on board, expecting his men to follow. The vessels, he declared, separated, but he laid about him with such good will that he not only kept the pirates at bay, but drove them below before his own schooner again got alongside.
Captain Collyer, politely bowing, observed that he had often heard of his having taken a piratical craft in a very gallant way, which, in fact, he had, but not, as he a.s.serted, alone; he had a dozen stout hands to back him, which makes all the difference. The name of a cousin of mine, Captain Ceaton, was mentioned. I had just before received the news from home that he had been appointed to the command of a corvette which would very probably be sent out to the West Indies. He was only a lieutenant when I came to sea, and had not long been a commander. I had seen but little of him, but I knew him to be a thoroughly brave honest fellow. What, therefore, was my surprise and annoyance to hear Captain Staghorn open out roundly on him, and abuse him in no measured terms.
One of the other captains asked why he did so.
"Why?" exclaimed Captain Staghorn, "five years ago or more he was a lieutenant of a ship I commanded. On his being superseded, at length, the lieutenant who succeeded him asked him what sort of a person I was, and he had the impudence to say that I was a very good sort of fellow, but used the longbow pretty frequently. I won"t say how this came to my ears, but I made a vow, and I"ll keep it, that I"ll force him to go out with me, and I"ll shoot him."
The other captains tried to convince Captain Staghorn that Ceaton could not have intended to offend him, as he was a man who would never offend anyone. Captain Staghorn muttered within his teeth, "I will, though."
I was very much induced to say "But you do draw with the longbow, and Ceaton only spoke the truth." I restrained myself, however, wisely; for though the other captains might be convinced that I only said what was the case, they would very much disapprove of a midshipman expressing himself freely about a post-captain. Coffee was soon handed round, and we midshipmen, according to wont, retired. We repaired to the quarter-deck, where the master, as he occasionally did in harbour, had taken charge of the watch, the rest of the lieutenants not dining in the cabin being on sh.o.r.e. He was a very worthy man, but we had no great respect for him, and we took liberties on which we should not have ventured with Mr Bryan or the third lieutenant, or even with Mr Fitzgerald. For some time the influence of the cabin was on us, and we behaved with sufficient dignity. One of the midshipmen of the Daring walked the deck with me, and opened out confidentially with regard to his captain, whom, however, he held in great awe. He told me that he was very brave, and had done all sorts of wonderful things; that he did not seem to set value on his own life or on that of anyone else; that he was very quarrelsome, and a dead shot; that he had killed three men in duels, and wounded half a dozen more; and that he never forgot or forgave what he considered an insult or an injury. My friend continued, "When we dine with him, he tells us the most extraordinary stories, and if we do not laugh at the right place and pretend to believe them, we are sure to get mast-headed, or punished in some other way, before many hours are over."
"A very unpleasant character," I observed, though its hideousness did not strike me so forcibly in those days as it does now. "I shouldn"t like to serve with him."
"Nor did I at first," said my friend, "but I have got accustomed to his style; and some of our fellows have taken a leaf out of his book, and boast and quarrel as much as he does."
I thought to myself of the old saying, "Like master, like men," and adapted it, "Like captain, like midshipmen."
"I would rather serve under Captain Collyer," I remarked. "He does not quarrel with or shoot his companions, and I do not believe that there is a braver man in the service."
Our conversation was interrupted by a chase after poor Gogles, whom Spellman and others had started up the mizen-rigging, giving him a minute"s start. If they caught him he was to receive a cobbing; if he escaped he was to give them one, if he could. Poor Gogles had certainly made but a bad bargain. All the rest of the youngsters, including the Daring"s midshipman and me, soon joined in the chase--not all, however, to catch Gogles, but rather to impede his pursuers, and to give him a better chance of escape. Although he had not an over allowance of wits, he was very active, and had great tenacity of grip--qualities more valuable to skylarking midshipmen, rope-dancers, and monkeys, than brains.
Up went Gogles valiantly to the topgallant mast-head, and, waiting till Spellman had got close up to him, under pretence of being tired, he slid down the lift on to the yard-arm, and running in on the yard, had descended to the cross-trees, leaving all his pursuers above him. In similar ways he contrived to evade his pursuers, I and others helping him by pulling at their legs, or getting above them and stopping their way up. He had, I considered, fairly won the right to cob all the party; but, grown bold by his success, he descended by the lift to the topsail yard-arm, and was about to stoop down to traverse the brace to the mainmast, when, from hearing Spellman"s shout, he looked up, and, missing his grasp, over he went headlong into the water.
I was at the time on the cross-jack yard. I ran to the end. Though Gogles could swim, he was, I at once saw, stunned by the fall. I did not stop to consider whether there was danger or not, but, slipping off my jacket, which I threw in board, and kicking off my shoes, I plunged in after him, fortunately not losing my breath in my fall. I looked about for Gogles. He was just sinking. I swam towards him, for there was a current running which had drifted him already to some distance.
No sooner did I reach him, however, than like a squid he threw his arms about me, and made it impossible for me to strike out. I entreated him to free me, but he evidently did not understand what I said. The dread that we should both be drowned came over me. I kicked my legs about as much as I could, but I could not shout out for fear of filling my mouth with water. I thought of sharks--indeed of all sorts of horrible things. We appeared to be drifting farther from the ship.
Preparations were being made to lower a boat, but I felt that before it could reach me I must sink. Just then I caught sight of the boatswain"s long nose over the hammock nettings, and the next instant he had slid down a rope overboard, and was striking out towards me. "Shout, boy I shout, my son! and kick away--kick away," he kept exclaiming, as with st.u.r.dy strokes he clave the water, in his progress making himself all the time as much noise as possible.
I guessed the reason of his cries, for I saw a black fin in the distance. Had I been alone when I saw that ill-omened fin I believe that I should have quickly sunk; but the feeling that I had my messmate to support, and that the honest boatswain was coming to my help, kept me up. I did as Mr Johnson directed me, and kept kicking with all my might, and shouting too, whenever I could get my mouth clear of the water. Still I got more down it than was pleasant. I saw something gleaming in Mr Johnson"s hand. It was a long Spanish knife.
Gogles had been quiet for some time, but just then he began to struggle, and again clasped me round the neck. I felt as if I was sinking, and was earnestly wishing that Mr Johnson was a few yards nearer, when I saw him suddenly turn aside and strike off to the left. My eye followed him with an intensity of interest such as I cannot describe. It caught the gleam of his knife, and then what was my horror to find that he had disappeared. It was but for a moment. Directly afterwards he rose again, surrounded by a circle of crimson, and a huge black body floated up near him, lashing the water. He darted forward, and, seizing Gogles, released me from his grasp.
"Swim on, Mr Merry, swim on," he shouted, shoving me before him. "Here comes the boat."
The men bent to their oars, and the brave boatswain swam on with all his might. With a jerk he threw Gogles into the boat, and gave me a shove up as I was climbing in, which very nearly sent me over on the other side; he then sprang after us with surprising agility, turning as soon as he had got his feet out of the water, and striking with all his might at a huge creature which followed close at our heels. I saw the flash of the monster"s white throat.
"Habet," shouted our third lieutenant, who was--a rare thing in those days in the navy--somewhat of a scholar. Mr Johnson had inflicted a mortal wound on another shark, who was immediately surrounded by his amiable brethren, eager to devour him as they had missed us. It is not difficult to conceive what would have been our fate had we remained another minute in the water, after the boatswain had killed the first shark.