I was staring at the same ceiling for the twenty fourth time. That may seem strange to keep count, but I meant the same ceiling with the same sunrise with the same bird chirps. The exact same day, for the twenty fourth time.I"m twenty years old and today I get married. Again.
I sighed. Most girls dream of the day they wear a wedding gown, but I had worn that exact same wedding gown twenty four times. I knew what came next. I knew all the lines and all the fake smiles.
My husband will not love me.
Our marriage was one arranged since our births. Long before we were born, our grandfathers made a promise that their children would marry. But as fate would have it, they only bared sons.
My grandfather"s dying wish was for his family to be joined with the Leonhart family. But during his lifetime, he only saw grandsons, just like grandfather Leonhart.
I was born two years after grandfather died, on his birthday. My father immediately contacted the Leonhart family to fulfill that long awaited promise.
I was born to marry a Leonhart and was raised for no other purpose than to be the most perfect wife.
My parents would always praise my future husband for how filial he must be to agree to marry someone for his grandfather"s wish.
I used to believe he was wonderful as well. Until I saw him for the cold hearted b.a.s.t.a.r.d he really is.
But... I had seen him crying.
In all the lifetimes I had lived, I had never seen that man cry. Not once. He didn"t shed any tears at our wedding and he never shed tears when his own father died a year after we were married. Every time we had attended that funeral, I was always coldly disappointed.
Then why was that cold hearted b.a.s.t.a.r.d crying? And why had I died before I could ask? G.o.d, come out and explain!
I say that, but I know I won"t get an explanation.
In just a while, my mother would come to help me prepare for my wedding. I didn"t have time to put on a wedding dress. I needed to see that b.a.s.t.a.r.d and make him explain himself!
I crept over to the window and pushed it open, quickly making my escape. I had nine lives of escaping this marriage of practice! Of course I could get away.
The only difference between those lives and this life, I was running away to the wedding, not from it.
I had to take the bus unfortunately, but I soon made it to the wedding venue. The groom"s family was already there and I could see some of my family members running about. They would probably receive a phone call from my mother that I had disappeared sometime soon.
I had never arrived at the wedding venue early before. After living and dying twenty three times, it was odd to see something I had never once thought about. The preparations for my own wedding, huh. I had always just taken them for granted, but now I saw how many hours of work were put in. I wasn"t supposed to arrive here for another three hours.
I snuck to a side door where the florist and her a.s.sistants were delivering the wedding flowers. I grabbed a large centerpiece and disguised myself, sneaking inside.
Without my dress and make up, I was practically invisible.
Other than the engagement party, I hadn"t interacted with any of my husband"s family prior to my wedding. Remembering those previous interactions was basically impossible for me. I had lived through multiple lives between that year and now! I was only nineteen when we held the official engagement party. Of course I couldn"t remember how it had gone. I only remembered my interactions with these family members after our wedding day.
Holding the flowers in front of my face proved very effective. I headed through the familiar halls towards the groom"s room. When I made my way there and entered, I was disappointed to find him not there.
That b.a.s.t.a.r.d hadn"t come early to our wedding?
Then again, why would he?
I set the flowers down on the dressing table and sighed. I didn"t know what I was expecting. It was 9 in the morning now, but our wedding ceremony did not start until 1 in the afternoon. Why would the groom be here four hours early? Even I, the bride, hadn"t arrived until an hour before.
I had been too determined to learn why he was crying. Now what was I going to do?
I couldn"t return home and I didn"t have my cellphone to have my mother meet me here. I could reveal myself... or I could wait until that b.a.s.t.a.r.d showed up. I would just have to conceal myself until then.
...
Bored.
I was unbelievably bored. Without my phone, I couldn"t even play games. How long had I been waiting? Only fifteen minutes? Screw this!
I left the groom"s room and headed through the wedding venue. What was I doing here, really? Even if I asked that man why he had been crying, it"s not like his past self would know! Stupid, I was simply too stupid. I had learned long ago no matter how many times I died and reincarnated, I was the only one with memories of the years I had lived past my wedding date. Everyone else simply remembered the original twenty years of my life.
Those years overtook the many years I had lived during my first life. The twenty years I had spent originally growing up, I couldn"t remember finer points from them. I couldn"t remember any of my primary school teacher"s names, nor could I remember all of my childhood friends. There were times during my past lives where I would run into someone and not remember them. Though for them it had only been two years since we had last seen each other, for me it had been more like decades.
I was an old woman who constantly had to live her early twenties. Most women feared gaining wrinkles, but wrinkles were all I dreamed of. This was a form of h.e.l.l in and of itself, okay?
I sat outside the wedding venue with my chin resting in my hands. I really was just an idler. Without that b.a.s.t.a.r.d here to question, I could only wait until I was found. My mother would have to come sometime.
I was overcome with joy when I remembered, without me at my house preparing for my wedding, that woman"s schemes were ruined. My original wedding dress was ruined on the morning of my wedding in all my past lives thanks to her. After my first five lives, I had given up trying to prove she had ruined my dress. That girl was so quick with her tongue, she always got out of it. But luckily for me, no matter which life, my husband"s family was quick to respond with a new dress. But without me there to discover the dress, I wondered what would happen?
Would I simply never put on the wedding dress and never have to be abandoned by that b.a.s.t.a.r.d?
Stupid, too stupid. As if that would be reason enough to stop this wedding promised for two generations!
Soon I would be discovered and that dress my husband"s family had secretly prepared would appear. I always thought they were in cahoots with that woman. Though she was allowed to cause me misery, they weren"t allowed to be shamed by a bride without a proper wedding dress. They let her cause her mischief, but only within reason.
As long as the Leonhart name remained pure and upright, it didn"t matter what happened to me.
I grit my teeth. I had given up on revenge, but that didn"t mean I was able to completely release the bitterness in my heart. The injustices I had suffered those past twenty three lives had never been righted. Of course I remained bitter.
Just as I was trying to calm myself down from my anger, I saw a face that made my heart clench. With anger, despair, confusion.
My husband had appeared.