Julian"s face was dark. "Joe, wait for me outside."Joe nodded and left the room, the door clicking softly behind him.
Julian never took his eyes off my face as he waited for Joe to leave before speaking. "...Why do you keep disobeying me?"
I let out a snort of laughter. "You are not a "young master" to me, Julian. I"m not your servant."
"You are my wife-"
I interrupted him before he could finish his sentence. "Oh, so NOW I"m your wife? When it"s convenient for you? When I"m supposed to listen to my husband? Well, maybe you should remember who your wife is when you"re f*cking my best friend!"
I was panting with anger. How... How dare he?! I shoved into his chest, but he didn"t budge. Julian"s entire being was rigid. I looked up into his face, but rather than seeing my rage returned, there was a shocked look on his face. It was like he stopped working. He finally blinked and looked at me, but there was a light in his eyes that I had never seen before.
"What did you just say...?"
"I said-"
"Who actually told you where I"d be tonight?" Julian cut me off before I could repeat my furious statement. I opened my mouth to repeat Mia"s name before he continued. "It wasn"t Mia, I can tell you that."
"So you are sleeping with her."
I was surprised at how softly my voice came out. After seeing their affair for so many lifetimes, I thought I had numbed myself to the pain, but I was lying to myself. It still hurt, no matter how many times I faced the truth. I dropped my eyes away from his face. I couldn"t look him in the eyes, couldn"t watch him confirm it himself.
"No. I"m not."
"Don"t lie to me, Julian." His denial cut into me like a knife. I didn"t want his confirmation, but knowing he was lying hurt almost worse.
"Alice," his quiet voice came from above my head. "Look at me."
I didn"t move my face. I felt a gentle hand cup my jaw as Julian turned my head to face him. I looked at him through watery eyes. His face had softened. I blinked, trying to clear my tears. I couldn"t believe the blurry vision I was seeing. Julian leaned in close and I felt his lips brush against my ear.
"I want you to listen to me very closely, Alice. I am not, nor have I ever been unfaithful to you. No matter what you learn, no matter what you hear, you must believe that." He pulled away to meet my eyes again.
I... I didn"t know what to think. Julian"s expression... his words... what did this mean? Nothing was lining up.
"Now, I want you to tell me how you knew I would be here tonight."
I bit my lip and averted my eyes. "I... I can"t say."
"Alice."
"I really can"t."
Julian dropped his forehead to my shoulder. "Alice, please."
I turned my head towards him. Was he... begging me? My head was a mess and my thoughts were a jumble.
"You wouldn"t believe me."
He lifted his head again to meet my eyes. "Try me."
I stared at Julian. He was looking at me the way he had been looking at my younger self in another lifetime, in that photograph I had found. His eyes were lacking any malice and the only thing that remained was a reflection of my own face. If... If I took this risk and told him everything, could it... could it change things? Could I learn the truth?
"This isn"t... the first time I"ve lived this day."
Julian"s eyebrows rose. "You mean you"re having déjà vu...?"
"No," I interrupted him. "I mean I have literally lived through this day at least thirteen times-- no, this might be the fourteenth. I can"t remember."
"...What?"
"I don"t expect you to believe me. You asked me how I knew you would be here, and you"re right. I didn"t hear it from anyone. I knew because I"ve lived through this day before, again and again, and you"re always here with Mia."
Julian didn"t speak. I couldn"t read his expression. His face had clouded over. When he continued in silence, I pulled away from him to leave. I had tried, but why would he believe me? How could he be expected to believe me?
"Wait," he stopped me with a hand on my wrist. "Say... Say I do believe you. What makes you repeat today?"
I shoved the spark of hope that ignited within me deep down into a pit. Just because he stopped me didn"t mean he actually would listen.
"It isn"t just today. I"ve been married to you twenty-four times."