"So let me make sure I understood you last night."I was sitting in one of the lounge chairs on the balcony overlooking the back gardens. Julian sat in the opposite chair, looking out across his property. We both had dressed and sat with drinks Ileana had brought us. Julian had taken the day off (I had thought it before, but it must be nice to be your own boss) and we were finally talking through the past day"s confessions.
"Your family proposed marriage to my family because they wouldn"t get any money from your grandfather"s will unless either you or your brother married me." I watched Julian to make sure I was understanding his explanations properly. "They didn"t want the heir to marry me, because that would mean my children would inherit the company. But after engaging me to you-" I pointed at him. "-your brother ended up in his wheelchair and they made you the heir. But why not re-engage me to your brother?"
Julian laughed. "I announced our engagement publically."
"Our engagement party?"
Julian nodded. I realized the speech Julian"s father made must have been out of rage. He wouldn"t admit his son chose me willingly, so he told the story of his foolish father. "My silly old man chose this girl." No wonder Julian didn"t slip my ring onto my finger until after his father had publicly acknowledged our engagement.
"Then why force you to take a mistress?"
"If you had a child, as my legal wife, they"d obviously become the heir. But if you never had children and I had another child with someone else…"
"Then that child would take over."
Julian nodded again. "I swore I would never touch you so they wouldn"t try to harm you."
"So they wouldn"t kill me."
"Well, yes. But not just that -- they"d make you infertile or force you to have an abortion if you became pregnant."
"But why?" I couldn"t wrap my head around the logic of his family members. "Why would they be so cruel?"
Julian shrugged. "Because you don"t have lineage. The only benefit from marrying you to my family came from the promised money from my grandfather"s will. Your child would be "inferior."" Julian wasn"t looking at me, but I could see him clenching his jaw in anger.
"Why not kill me right after our wedding night, then? The promise would be fulfilled and I"d be out of the way."
"My grandfather"s will won"t be fulfilled until after a certain time period," Julian sighed. "After the two families are joined in marriage, no one can touch the money until either the "joined family heir" is born or the youngest Leonhart turns twenty-two."
"Why twenty-two?" I felt a shiver hearing my death-age. It seemed like a bad omen.
"I"ve no idea. I think that was the age he became sworn brothers with your grandfather? His will doesn"t say why. My family wasn"t worried about the deadline, since I was the youngest, but my cousin had her first child a few years ago."
"Isn"t her child technically not a Leonhart?"
"She wasn"t married." Julian laughed.
The bad feeling I had faded. "Then even with the deadline, until I have a child, they can"t touch that money for more than a decade."
Julian shook his head. "My cousin got married last year and her child took his last name."
"...Not a Leonhart?"
"Not a Leonhart, not anymore."
"Then isn"t the deadline up? We got married and you"re older than twenty-two."
Julian looked at me, his expression devoid of humor. "You"re the youngest Leonhart, currently."
The bad feeling instantly came back with full force.
"...So until I have a child or turn twenty-two, your family can"t touch the money."
Julian nodded. "Mm."
I wanted to scream. I kept dying on my twenty-second birthday because of money! It had nothing to do with any actions or inactions I had taken. The Leonharts dropped me in a river because of money! What kind of dumba.s.s reason was that? I had always thought it was because I had caused a scene or two, but no, it was because I was old enough to get rid of. How convenient!
Before I could spiral further into a rage, Julian interrupted my thoughts.
"Anymore questions for me? Or is it my turn?"
"I have about a million more."
"How about exclusively from this lifetime?" Julian grinned at me.
"Well, maybe only half a million, then." I could wait to ask some of my more specific questions. "But for now, I"ll answer some."
Julian was quiet for a moment before he spoke, taking a sip from his drink. I waited patiently until he had gathered his thoughts.
"Did you forget things before you started repeating your lives?"
I was immediately confused by Julian"s question. "What do you mean?"
"That day I caught you in my office, you said you were looking for photos. And there was the rock…" Julian"s brows furrowed briefly before he looked at me. "It seems like you"ve forgotten things."
I hesitated before I spoke. I had never said it aloud, but I thought if I had to voice my fears, I may as well tell them to Julian, since we had promised to be honest. "I think with each repeat, more of my memories seem to fade. They were small things, at first, like an old childhood friend"s last name or lines from my favorite movie. But now I seem to have forgotten entire events."
"Like the trip to Hawaii."
I nodded. "Yes. I only remembered a bit after looking through some photos."
Julian didn"t respond for a moment, lost in thought. "Are you afraid of what you might remember?"
"No," I said immediately. "Nothing could be worse than things I already do remember." I stared straight at Julian. For some reason, I felt like this was a test. It seemed too pointed and specific a question for Julian to ask it without giving it a lot of thought beforehand.
"You may be right," Julian sighed. He turned and met my eyes. "I think it"s alright for you to remember. I was going to pretend not to notice and just let you remain without memories, but I don"t think that"s right."
"You"ll tell me?"
Julian nodded. "I"ll try to help you remember anything you want. I told you, I don"t want you to have to forget anything anymore."