She shook the man"s hand and narrowed her eyes. A feeling of dread crept up from the pit of her stomach. "What"s wrong?"
He smiled. "Nothing," he answered. "But we are going to keep you overnight for observation."
"Why?" The question came from Adam.
"You suffered severe trauma," Peter said, speaking directly to Lily. "Typically after the adrenaline and shock wear off, the victim experiences some pain."
"I"m fine."
"We need to monitor your neck and head, and give you something if necessary. Also, we need to stabilize your blood pressure."
"No drugs."
The finality in Adam"s voice cut through Lily. She knew his fear was related to his birth condition.
Peter looked at Adam then at Lily. "It won"t be anything strong."
Adam"s face was set in a hard, determined expression. "No," he said, his voice rougher.
After a brief moment, the doctor nodded. "There are different types of shock. Some are dangerous and may cause damage to Liliana or the baby." He stopped and gave them a moment to process the information. "I"ll leave the two of you to discuss our options if required."
"What about the bleeding?" Lily asked with concern.
"The blood is brown, left over from your last cycle. That is common. It should stop in a day." His gaze went to Adam then back at Lily. "However, you have to refrain from intercourse for a few days."
That was the easy part. She already wasn"t getting any. She glanced over at Adam and searched for any kind of humor in the situation. His face was stoic.
"We are going to admit you," Gwen said. "In the meantime, elevate your extremities to increase blood flow to the heart."
Once they were alone, Adam pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down. The color once again drained from his face. He slouched forward and took one of her hands in his.
"No drugs, Liliana."
With her free hand, she caressed his face. "Adam, what happened to you was different." Grief swept through her system, enveloping her body. A dark, sickening pain filled her heart over Adam"s agony. "I"m sure the hospital will follow every protocol."
He heaved a sigh. "I"m at seventy-percent chance of becoming an addict. I"ve pa.s.sed that to our child. I don"t want to increase a statistic like that."
"Have you ever done drugs?"
"I was born an addict, Liliana." He dragged a hand through his hair. "I won"t even take a Tylenol unless I"m dying."
"You turned out okay."
He shrugged. "So far. But I live in fear over that knowledge every day."
"Our baby will be okay. We will deal with whatever comes our way."
"Together. No matter what, Liliana."
She understood the implication in his words. The M wordmarriage. What he had wanted the moment he learned of her pregnancy. He spoke no word of love. They liked each other and, as he pointed out, the s.e.x was great between them. Still, settling for anything less would leave a void inside her for the rest of her life.
"No matter how we end up, Adam, we will always deal with our baby together." She propped herself on the bed to a sitting position, and patted down the empty s.p.a.ce by her side. Despite the ache inside her heart, every piece of her wanted him closer. "Come here."
He gave her a weak smile. "There"s no room. You need to be comfortable."
"I need to feel you next to me. I need for our bodies to touch."
He reluctantly lifted from the chair and lowered his weight on the bed. Lily shifted to allow more room for him.
"Liliana."
"Sshh," she silenced him. "Just hold me."
"I want to do more." His hands skimmed over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
Heat ripped through her. "Me too. But apparently we can"t have s.e.x."
"We weren"t having s.e.x anyway."
"But I was hoping things would change for the better."
He laughed, slid his hand through the front of the gown and cupped one of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"That feels good." Lily moaned, her whole body trembling with longing. "I want more."
Adam lowered his head and bit her nipple. Lily gasped over the tingling sensation. He released her and closed the gown.
"You don"t play fair," she complained, her body still quivering with desire.
"Neither do you."
"I did nothing."
"No?" He took her hand and placed it over his erection. Lily wrapped her hand over the bulge in his pants and stroked him. Adam cursed softly. "You do a lot to me, Liliana. Even when you do nothing."
Chapter Twenty-One.
I"ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife."
Hozier Take Me to Church The metallic shower head hung above Adam. He pulled the lever to the right and a stream of cold water rained onto his skin like an electric shock. The hair on the back of his neck p.r.i.c.kled. Gooseb.u.mps slithered up his arms and legs. He clenched his jaws and reached for the shampoo, washed his hair, and rinsed off the suds.
He grabbed the soap, scrubbed his neck, and closed his eyes. Typically, he preferred a steamy hot shower but d.a.m.n it, he"d been fighting a raging hard-on since Lily was released from the hospital. Actually, since he"d fondled her in the emergency room.
Sick. f.u.c.king sick.
Who fondles a woman while she lays on a gurney waiting to be admitted?
Me.
He dragged the soap over his body. The action soothed his skin but failed to alleviate his desire or aching bulge. Instead it caressed him like Lily"s kisses, running along his torso.
Something else had emerged inside him. An ache that clawed at his limbs, not the s.e.xual one, something deeper. Although he had been scared out of his mind over the possibility of her miscarrying, Lily"s well-being through the whole ordeal had been his main priority.
She affected him.
His mind wandered to the woman in his bed, and his breath caught. He was feeling s.h.i.t he never wanted to experience. Feelings. Emotions. Those things had made his birth mother weak, caused her to do some dumb crazy s.h.i.t. Because of feelings, she became dependent on a pimp and sold her body for money. Those who didn"t pay in cash had provided her drugs to satisfy her favorite pastime.
Disgust and anger washed over him.
He should probably run in the opposite direction as fast as he could and drop his marriage quest. Time and time again, Lily had made it clear she would not settle for anything less than the whole enchilada. She wanted love.
Yeah, he should definitely run. He didn"t do love, at least not the kind she asked for. He loved his parents, his extended family and friends, but the love Lily wanted meant getting the heart involve and becoming exposed, vulnerable.
Run wasn"t the word. He should be sprinting out of her life.
But something told him it was too late. She had already penetrated his layers.
His gut tightened. Needing to numb everything inside, Adam turned the k.n.o.b to the max, and hissed. The bitter cold water spread over his back and his muscles flexed in response. One hand planted firmly on the wet tile facing him, while the other tightened around his throbbing erection, and glided over firm flesh. His head fell forward as he continued the slow and steady motion, sliding up and down. Images of Lily stimulated the searing heat inside. His speed increased.
s.h.i.t. His hand loosened around his shaft.
"What the f.u.c.k!" He shook his head with disgust, not because he was ashamed of jerking off. h.e.l.l that had been his go-to move since he was fourteen. The first night he woke up with a hard-on over some girl in school. But he enjoyed it most when Lily watched him while she touched herself.
Yeah...that"s what he needed. A little jerking off while she gently stroked the delicate softness between her thighs. But she couldn"t do s.h.i.t. Completely out of commission for at least two more days. The bleeding had stopped a day after they returned home, but Peter had advised they continued to sustain from intercourse.
Intercourse. The word sounded so technical.
He and Lily f.u.c.ked. Hard. Anywhere they could. And since her fall he wanted to throw that bulls.h.i.t no s.e.x rule out the window, slide inside that moist, needy place he called home and pummel himself into her fiery furnace.
He was an a.s.shole.
On top of the accident, the nausea had returned full force. Even now while she lay in bed, pale as a ghost, all he could think about was having her legs up in the air, preferably resting over his shoulders, or maybe have her on her knees. Take her from behind this time with her sweet round a.s.s in the air.
Yup, that made him an a.s.shole. A thirty-one year old h.o.r.n.y, f.u.c.king a.s.shole.
He needed to control his desire to f.u.c.k her brains out every second of the day and think. Slowly, his world was shifting off its axis and she was the culprit. The horror of her fall, fear for her safety, and the thought of what they might have lost. All of that had consumed him, making him less guarded. Another wall was lowered. But not all. There were still things he needed to tell her, expose what existed inside and show her all that he was. He needed to walk down that street completely naked and vulnerable. He let out a ragged breath. At least his hard-on was under control; well, sort of.
Turning off the water, he quickly dried off and wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping into the bedroom. His gaze automatically went to the bed where she was half propped under the covers with her cell phone in her hand and a slight frown on her forehead.
He fought the longing to go over and kiss her, pull her in his arms as they usually greet each other. Instead he walked over to the nearby chair and picked up his favorite pair of grey sweats. His lounging sweats; no underwear needed for those.
He felt her honey-colored eyes watching him. "How are you feeling?" he asked while tying the knot of his sweats. She continued to watch him.
"We need to talk."
The seriousness in her voice caught his attention. He met her gaze and a heavy numbness invaded his chest. "Whatever you read on the internet is not true."
"I didn"t Google you. I"d much rather you tell me." Silence fell between them as her gaze fixed on his face. "Everything, Adam. I want to know who this man was and what he wants."
He picked up the towel from the armchair. "He"s a reporter."
Recognition flickered in her eyes. "The one who badgered Claire with questions about you?"
He nodded.
"Your parents had him demoted."
"I can"t control how my parents react to things."
She smiled. "They love you very much."
"Yes they do." He"d never deny that he got lucky in the adoptive parents pool.
She continued to watch him. Adam waited for the questions to come. It was inevitable and he was ready. Well, as ready as he could ever be. But she picked up the cell phone again.
"I did some research on your birth condition."
"Addicted babies," he said in a low, rough voice. "Say it, Liliana, then everything about who I am becomes real."
She flinched at his words, but said nothing. His lungs burned.
"You can still abort if you want." Adam watched Lily. She struggled to shift her gaze but his eyes were locked on hers, willing the connection to hold. Even in his ears the words sounded callous. But s.h.i.t, that was an option they should have talked about from the moment he found out she was pregnant with his child. "I never wanted to be a father, so I"d understand."
Her face glazed for a split-second and then she frowned, her lips pursed together and her eyes were unblinking. At that moment, if her eyes were a weapon, the piercing look in them could have caused serious destruction. She became a lioness. He had come into her territory and she was about to attack.
Although Adam"s voice grazed with pain, the words still delivered a ma.s.sive blow to Lily"s chest. She surveyed his stance. The hard ridges of his chest flexed with controlled anguish. The sweatpants hung low to his hips. The material clung to him like a lover, outlining that part of him that made him male. "You think that"s what I want?"
He shrugged with indifference. "It"s something we should have talked about."
His eyes stared at her with such intensity that it made her uncomfortable, and she squirmed and writhed under his gaze.
"It"s an option."
Funny, the possibility of terminating the pregnancy; however, unantic.i.p.ated, never crossed her mind. Sure her life had taken a surprising twist, but she"d adjust. Yet, here Adam stood, admitting he never wanted to be a father and giving her a choice to cut their ties. "I don"t want a f.u.c.king abortion." Her chin spasmed and Lily bit the inside of her mouth to control the anger knifing her insides. "I want this child. With or without you. And all of whatever flaws you think he may have."
"Liliana." He took a step forward in her direction.
"Don"t." Her voice trembled and she buried her face in her hand. "Don"t say my name in that voice. Don"t touch me." She paused, exhaled, and lifted her face to meet his eyes. "Don"t do anything."
Lily shifted her gaze to the window so Adam couldn"t see the amount of pain his words inflicted. "I need a few minutes alone."