He stared at her with a blank expression. His eyes gave away nothing, making it impossible for Lily to understand the depth of his emotions. "We can"t have s.e.x. Go to Minka."
She meant the perfect, amazing, beautiful, strong emotional connection, and just plain awesome kind of love. Not just the physical act. But she understood. One step at a time. One conversation at a time. Adam may have lain down his armor, but that didn"t mean he was ready to hand his heart over on a silver plate. It was all due to fear, she understood that now. He was crippled by his past.
Twenty minutes later, Lily entered the house Minka shared with Jason. The second her friend opened the door, she was able to tell Minka had been crying and filled with angst. "Where"s Jason?" She had not spotted his Jeep on the driveway when she pulled in.
"At Vapor."
Adam had closed his restaurant for the winter over the weekend. And from what she knew of the island, most of the tourists should be gone by now. For Jason to be at Vapor around ten at night meant something was wrong. "What did he do, Minka? Keely and I can hurt him really bad. I"m sure Claire would help if she was around."
"Have you looked at Jason lately?" her friend asked in a throaty voice.
She knew what her friend meant, not to only see the outer appearance but to see all the little things beneath. What she failed to do with Adam. To look so deep to see the person"s soul, his fears, dreams. What made him tick. Nope. She had been so consumed by her own physical needs and resisting the pull of getting emotionally attached to pay attention. Love had smacked her right in the face anyway and left her pregnant on top of it.
But she looked at Jason, all the time. At first it had been out of concern, to make sure he wasn"t an a.s.shole toying with her friend"s feelings. Because no one knew how deep Minka"s insecurities ran more than her.
After a while, her scrutinizing became admiration. She marveled at the way Jason used every opportunity to touch her friend, his fiance. There was no shame in his love for Minka. At times, it made Lily think about her f.u.c.k-buddy relationship with Adam. Even Nate. She gave all of herself to him, unconditionally so. He cheated on her with some floozy. Sure, her ego had been bruised, but her confidence had not been broken. Neither did the experience change her outlook on love. Not when she witnessed the beauty of such deep connection every day in her parents, in Minka and Jason, in Keely and Blake.
Jason was handsome, rich, and constantly surrounded by beautiful women, whether at Vapor or traveling for Montgomery Corporation. That was all a part of who he was, just as everything that came with loving Adam. But there was no doubt in Lily"s mind about Jason"s feelings for Minka.
"Jason is crazy about you."
Minka let out a soft chuckle. "I know that." She paused. "I should know that." They entered the living room. Minka immediately dropped her body on the sofa and released an exasperated sigh. Lily sat beside her. "I"m not skinny. I will never be skinny."
"You"re healthy. It doesn"t matter what the scale says."
"I know that." Minka let out another soft chuckle. "Once in a while my insecurities rear their ugly heads."
"Like tonight."
"Like tonight," Minka confirmed.
"The two of you have been together for a year now. I think he sees you and loves you as you are. Jason is in love with everything about you. Not just your a.s.s." She teased her friend. Normally tight-lipped, Minka once slipped and told her about Jason"s obsession with her backside. "You do have a nice rump."
"You"re killing me," Minka groaned. "Jason and I got into a fight. I said some nasty things."
"Like how nasty, on a scale from one to fifty."
"One hundred," Minka admitted in a brittle voice.
Lily cringed. "Should I dare ask what you said and why?"
"I questioned his love for me. And I didn"t use the kindest words."
The sadness in Minka"s voice ripped along Lily"s heart. She clasped her hand over Minka"s. "Oh, hon."
"What if he wakes up one day and realizes he can do better than this?" She waved a hand over her body.
"Minka, I thought you were over all of that."
"I thought so too. But..."
"With days to go, the fact that you are about to marry this hunk of a man is too real." She understood Minka"s anxiety. She was about to sign a contract of vows that should never be broken, it was normal for insecurities to creep up. "You deserve all the happiness that you and Jason have found. Don"t let anything screw that up. But if you are having doubts, we can make a getaway tonight."
"I love him."
"I know you do. And he loves you. Why don"t you call him and tell him to bring his a.s.s back home where he belongs?"
"I"m scared." Minka"s voice shook on the words. "Just a little, but scared nonetheless."
Minka turned to face her. Her eyes leaked with insecurities, uncertainty. Lily felt the tears well up again. She really needed to stop crying, but s.h.i.t, this was her best friend. "You"re going to make me cry. I can"t cry anymore tonight." She let out a chuckle and touched the corner of her eyes. "d.a.m.n it, I"m crying."
They fell into each other"s arms, and cried a river, with ragged currents flowing down their cheeks onto the wilted collars of their shirts.
Minutes later, emotionally drained, they fell back on the sofa, wiped their eyes and let out a shaky laugh.
"I love you, Lily."
"Ditto, my friend. Do you feel better?"
"A little."
"Good."
"I know Jason loves me," Minka said with a little more certainty.
"It"s okay to doubt." She understood doubts. Only a week ago, she questioned her relationship with Adam. It felt like eternity. "Call your fiance and remind him how much you love him."
Minka nodded. "I will. Sorry for calling you so late. I could have called Keely but-" Minka shook her head. "Still work in progress there."
The sisters had made a ton of progress on building a stronger relationship. However, after years of resentment, specifically from Minka, it would take time to mend something so fragile.
"We are closer and no more jealousy from me anymore, but..." She paused. "I hurt her for so long, you know."
Lily touched her friend"s shoulder. "Keely doesn"t hold grudges. She loves you."
"I know. And I love her. I will get there one day." She exhaled and smiled at her friend. "What"s going on with you and Adam?"
"He told me everything tonight." It wasn"t her story to share, regardless how close she was with Minka.
"Is he okay?"
She nodded. "I think so. I still have questions."
"Are you okay? I mean so much has happened to you in over a week." She let out a deep breath. "That was pretty selfish of me to text you so late."
Lily waved a dismissive hand. "Technically, I"m at your service this week. This is your wedding week. And I"m okay. The baby is well protected and fine." She patted the small roundness of her stomach. "Just a lot to process." Lily chewed her bottom lip. "I"m so in love with him."
"So you"ll marry him then?"
"Is it that simple to marry someone? I mean, you and Jason are in love. You"re not settling. I can"t say I wouldn"t if I were to marry Adam."
"He loves you, you know."
"He cares for me. I know that. But love, I don"t think he"s there."
Minka smiled. "He"s there. You"re just not looking close enough."
Maybe. But she was looking now at his vulnerability, his trust in her. The front door opened, indicating Jason had returned home. Lily glanced at her friend. Swollen eyes smiled at her and Lily relaxed. Everything was going to be okay.
Jason entered the living room, looking as handsome as ever in a casual dark blue wool jacket, blue plaid shirt and faded blue jeans. His daunting blue eyes settled on Lily and he nodded. "How are you feeling?"
"Much better."
"Adam sent me a text to tell me you were heading over."
Lily smiled. "Yeah, I was just leaving."
"I"m not kicking you out but..."
As always, he looked in total control. He glanced at Minka and their eyes locked.
Lily stood up. "I"ll leave you two alone."
Minka rose to her feet. "Jason...Oomph!"
He pulled Minka against his chest and crashed his lips against hers. Minka"s arms quickly wrapped around Jason"s neck and welcomed him back home. Heat ignited between the two. Feeling her temperature rising, Lily fumbled through her purse to find her keys and tried her best not to stare, but she looked and she saw an ardent love, pa.s.sion, trust, respect and lots of f.u.c.king heat. Jason"s feelings raw on his face, hiding nothing from Minka. All the things she had with Adam.
It hit her then. Adam loved her. In his own cautious way, he loved her. And he showed that to her tonight by showing his vulnerability and opening himself to greater possibilities. He trusted her. It scared him, she could tell. Because trusting her meant he was giving her ways to hurt him, still he laid down his armor.
"I"m in love with you. Don"t ever doubt that, Minka," Jason said once they finally broke for air, bringing Lily back to reality. And right now she felt like a peeping Tom.
"I"m sorry," Minka apologized.
"Show me," Jason said, his lips on Minka"s neck.
Oh boy. Lily cleared her throat. The sound fell on deaf ears. "Um...I"ll see my way out." Jason was now nibbling on Minka"s ear. "Well, yeah...Um...okay. Have fun."
She slipped out of the room, walked down the hall and made her way into the Maserati. Once in the car, she pulled out her phone and texted Adam.
Why tonight? Why did you tell me everything tonight?
His response was quick.
You want all of me. I"m giving you what you want.
She blew out a breath and brushed her bangs to the side.
Because of the baby?
She pressed her eyes closed and waited for her phone to vibrate again. Please say no. This time his response took a second or two. When her phone finally buzzed, her heart kicked. Slowly, Lily read the words.
No. Come home.
Lily counted to ten as slowly as she could to calm herself down. Never mind she was alone in her car, in the dark, in Jason"s parking lot. And Adam couldn"t see how giddy those words just made her.
When her heart finally settled, somewhat, she answered.
Ask me to marry you again.
Chapter Twenty-Three.
"Family is like underwear .... Some crawl up your a.s.s... Some get a little twisted... And some actually do cover your a.s.s when you need them too."
Anonymous Two days later, hand in hand, Lily and Adam walked outside Peter"s office at the only hospital on the Vineyard. Once in the hallway, she tugged on his shirt and he pulled her into his arms for one of those heart-racing kisses. Adam"s hands instantly circled her waist and held her.
"What was that about?" he asked once they finally stopped for air.
"I can officially have s.e.x." She grinned. "That means we can have s.e.x." She glanced at her watch because her family was due to arrive in a couple of hours. The way she was feeling fifteen minutes would do. h.e.l.l, the quicker, the better. "Like right now."
He laughed, a soothing, light and easy sound.
"If we go back to the house, you"re not seeing your family today."
He hadn"t proposed again, but he"d only just returned from Boston helping Jason with last-minute wedding stuff. Another chuckle came from him with a twinkle in his eyes. Since their conversation two nights ago, they seemed to be laughing constantly, touching more, smiles, jokes. The way they were when they first discovered each other, but hotter now, more in sync, more connected.
She pressed closer to him. The evidence of his words poked her. "Just to be clear, we"re over the no-s.e.x thing, right?"
"Totally." To prove how totally serious he was, he squeezed her a.s.s.
"Oh, hi guys..."
Lily froze, she recognized that voice. Gwen. Straightening herself, she tried to pull out of Adam"s embrace. He kept her in his arms, though removed his hand from her a.s.s.
"Good to see you again, Gwen," Adam said warmly.
Yeah. They totally used to be bed buddies. She could tell by the way Gwen tucked her hair behind her ear. Which only meant one thing...Adam had rocked her world.
Lily wriggled her body, Adam tightened his hold.
The pretty nurse smiled at them. "Feeling better?"